If You Only Knew (Harper Falls Book 3) (35 page)

“What does that mean?”

“Don’t make me say anymore.”

“Why not? I want to hear every bit of it.”

She saw a flicker in his eyes. Was it regret? It only lasted
a second before the cold returned.

“Fine. Just remember. You asked for it.”

Tyler felt the stirrings of anger. He acted as if this was her
fault. Tyler lifted her chin. She was used to men giving her a verbal kick in
the gut. Her father. Her brothers. She never thought she would add Drew to that
list.

“Stop stalling. Say it all.”

“I want to be able to fuck other women. When I want.
Where I want. Having you nearby would cramp my style.”

“I’m not enough for you.”

Shut up, Tyler
, her brain screamed.
He’s knocked
you to the ground. Use
your head. Stay down
. Her mouth wasn’t
listening.

“How many others have you fucked while I was spreading
my legs?”

“There’s no need to be crude.”

“That’s no answer.”

“There’s only been you,” Drew sighed. “It
was… fine.”

Fine
? What happened to the best ever? When did she
become
fine
?

“I’m ready to find some women with more
experience.”

“And lots of them.”

“I knew you’d understand. Take care.”

Drew gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder before turning
to go. If she hadn’t been in shock, she would have left him with a bloody stump
on the end of his arm.

Tyler didn’t know how long she stood there. A minute? An
hour? A week?

Somehow, she found her way home. She didn’t notice or care
if anyone else was home. She wanted to crawl into bed, pull the covers over her
head; forget the rest of the world existed.

“Tyler?”

Go away
, Tyler wanted to scream at her mother. She
tried lifting her head. She didn’t have the energy.

“Baby? Are you feeling okay?

Anita sat on the edge of Tyler’s bed. She tested for a fever
with the back of her hand, finding nothing but a cool forehead.

“Just tired,” Tyler managed to mumble.

“You’re never tired. Especially not in the middle of
the day.”

Not wanting to talk to her mother, Tyler rolled over. It
didn’t matter how well intentioned, she would never understand. Tyler’s heart
was broken. What could a married woman with three children know about that kind
of thing?

“Rose will be home soon. I’ll send her up right
away.”

Rose. Dani. They knew about Drew. Tyler burrowed deeper. She
needed her friends.

Tyler didn’t stay in her room the rest of the day. She
stayed in Dani’s.

She cried, raged, broke a cup nobody cared about. Her
friends listened. They were outraged when she needed it. Teary when she was
bawling. In other words, they were Rose and Dani.

By the next day, Tyler knew she didn’t want to give up or
give in. She no longer waffled between sad and angry. She was full on mad. She
planned on staying that way.

“We could kill him,” Rose suggested. They were
living on chocolate cake and diet soda.

“True,” Dani nodded. “We aren’t eighteen yet.
If we get a sympathetic woman judge, we might be out before we’re
twenty-one.”

“Not to mention the sugar.” Rose licked the last
crumb from her fork. “A good lawyer would say we were hopped up on the
stuff. I can see it now; they’ll call it the Cake Coma defense. It will be
required reading for every law student in the country.”

“Now you’re being silly.” Dani took the plate of
half-eaten cake from Rose. “No more for you.”

“I’m going to his graduation next week.”

“Such a bad idea,” Rose said.

“As your best friends, it’s our job to stop you from
doing anything self-destructive,” Dani agreed.

“I’m going.” Tyler was adamant.

“Why put yourself through that?”

Tyler’s hand went to the key she still wore around her neck.
The key to Drew’s stupid car. What she foolishly thought symbolized the key to
his heart.

“I have something that belongs to him.”

“Mail it back,” Dani urged.

No. This had to be done in person. Tyler wanted to throw it
in Drew’s face with all his rich kid friends watching. Then walk away without a
backward glance. Once it was done, she never wanted to see Drew Harper again.

The day of the graduation ceremony, Tyler spent more time
than usual getting dressed. If this was going to be the last time Drew saw her,
she wanted to look her best. Let him see what he threw away.

Tyler owned two dresses. One black, for church and funerals.
She refused to attend either. The dress still had the price tag. Seventy-five
percent off. Her mother knew how to find a bargain.

Not today, Tyler thought. Black was not right for the image
she wanted to project.

Her other choice she bought herself. Drawn by the color,
Tyler picked it up for next to nothing at a second-hand store in Spokane.
Classic, the owner of the shop told her. She would be able to wear it now and
twenty years from now. Tyler was only worried about the dress getting her
through high school. Who could worry about twenty years from now?

Tyler stood back, twirling around once in front of the
mirror. The ocean blue color suited her, making her gray eyes look almost
lavender. The dress showed off her tanned legs, the three-inch heels on her
sandals making them look impossibly long.

She decided to leave her hair loose. Thick and shiny, it
hung down her back almost to her waist. Drew would lean over her, twirling a
strand around his finger. He told her it was like silk.

No. Tyler shook herself. She wasn’t going to get weepy
again.
Hold on to the anger
, she told herself.
That will get you
through
.

A dab of pink lip-gloss was all the makeup she needed. Her
skin was smooth, lightly touched by the sun. The color in her cheeks was
flattering. Too bad it was caused by thoughts of wrapping her hands around Drew
Harper’s throat. When she pictured squeezing the life out of him, her face took
on a rosy glow.

Tyler grabbed her purse. She wasn’t afraid of being seen.
Her mother was at church polishing pews or something like that. Her father was
out of town — nothing new there. Her brothers could be anywhere. They were the
least of her worries.

She let herself out the back door, walking the short
distance to the Wilde’s driveway where Dani and Rose waited. They insisted on
going with her if only to watch her back. This was an invitation-only ceremony.
Crashing the graduation wouldn’t be difficult. The secret was to act like you
belonged. Find a crowd. Flow into the building with them.

Plan B? Pick a lock. Tyler used to do it at Harper High all
the time — just for fun. She was a bit rusty. Still, she doubted the doors at
Harper Academy would be that difficult to get through.

As it turned out, she never found out. No one gave them a
second glance. They walked in like they belonged, blending in easily with the
dozens of other girls their age.

“That was kind of disappointing,” Dani said as the
three of them took seats on the aisle. “I was hoping Tyler would have to
do her cat burglar routine.”

Rose looked around the auditorium. Not that long ago, she
was a student here. On that very stage, she participated in plays, musicals,
recitals. Her sophomore year, she had the lead in Grease. Funny, as nice as it
was here, she didn’t miss it a bit.

The lights flickered signaling everyone to take their seats.
The voices quieted, slowly becoming silent. The orchestra began the opening
bars of Pomp and Circumstance. The group of gowned students gathered behind
them.

This was her moment. Tyler searched the sea of purple and
white. Finding Drew was easy. Taller than most of his classmates, his height
and build made him stand out.

Turn,
Tyler silently urged him.
Let me see how
happy you are.

He would pass right by, an easy target. She opened her
purse, her hand wrapping around the key. She took a deep breath, her anger
dissipating any nerves. Obliterating the little voice of reason that told her
this was a bad idea. He deserved to be embarrassed. He deserved…

Tyler lost her train of thought the second he turned.

Drew looked terrible. Dark circles under his eyes. A slump
to his shoulders. It was only a few days since she last saw him. Had he lost
weight?

Tyler gripped her chair, every fiber of her being urging her
to go to him. He needed comfort — he needed her.

She knew she was kidding herself, seeing what she wanted to
see. Drew didn’t want her. He certainly didn’t need her. If he looked tired, it
was because of all the end of school activities. Finals, parties. Girls.

Tyler felt another rush of anger. Only this time, it was
muted. It wasn’t enough to let her carry through with what was a stupid,
immature, reckless plan. Drew was moving on. She was going to do the same.

Soon, she promised herself. If not today, or tomorrow, next
week. A month at most.

She glanced at Drew one last time. She closed her eyes,
taking a deep breath. As the first of the graduates began their procession,
Tyler motioned for Dani and Rose to follow her. They made their way down the
row, avoiding feet, apologizing to annoyed spectators.

Tyler pushed through the outer doors, not stopping until
they reached the car Dani borrowed from her mother only an hour earlier.

“What happened?” Rose asked, rubbing Tyler’s back.

“It was a mistake,” Tyler explained, taking a deep
breath of fresh air. “I couldn’t go through with it.”

Dani joined them, her hand taking Tyler’s.

“We could egg his car. Not as public but really
effective.”

Tempting. Then Tyler pictured the car and she knew she could
never do it. Drew hurt her, his car didn’t.

“Let’s go home.”

“Home? Are you kidding?” Dani exclaimed. “We
are three hot women dressed up, looking like a million bucks.”

“Make that
three
million,” Rose chimed in.

“Exactly. A car, a full tank of gas. The day is ours.
The only question is Spokane or Coeur d’Alene?

God, I love them
, Tyler thought. Her heart was
broken; no denying it. She was angry, in pain. All that would pass. Men would
come and go. Dani and Rose were forever.

“Well?” Dani jiggled the keys. “Where shall
it be?”

Smiling, Tyler linked hands with her best friends. It didn’t
matter where they went as long as they went together.

In the end, they flipped a coin.

TYLER WIPED THE tears from her face.

All the time she spent angry — hating Drew. He broke her
heart to save her family. Why didn’t she see before now how much he suffered
too? She thought he abandoned her when all along he was with her, feeling what
she felt. Aching the way she did.

Yesterday she didn’t think it was possible to love him anymore.
Now she realized love was infinite. It would continue to grow as long as they
took care not to be neglectful.

Tyler sighed, pulling the comforter tighter. She needed to
take better care starting right now.

She reached for her phone; her only thought to speak to
Drew, when she noticed the time. Three o’clock? She could still call. He
wouldn’t complain if she woke him.

Her thumb hovered over the button. No. A few hours wouldn’t
make any difference.

Tyler snuggled back down on the couch, too warm and
comfortable to bother going to bed. She would close her eyes — drift. Morning
would be here before she knew it.

Sleep was almost within her grasp when someone pounded on
her front door. Tyler shot up, her heart racing. She jumped up, still wrapped
like a mummy. Nothing good ever came knocking at two a.m.

She hobbled over, looking through the peephole. She was
right. Trouble. Flabby, dirty, drunk trouble.

“Go away, M.J.”

“Need help.”

“Are you injured?”

There was a pause.

“Yes?”

Her brother, a proud member of Mensa. If he wasn’t sure, she
certainly wasn’t opening the door.

“I’ll call 911. It’ll only take a few minutes for the
paramedics to get here.”

“No.” M.J. hit the door again.

“Find someplace to sleep it off.” Tyler turned to
leave. Halfway back to the couch, she had a terrible thought. She rushed back
to the door.

“M.J.,” she called out. “Are you still
there?”

“You letting me in?”

“No. Did you drive here?”

“Pile of crap wouldn’t start. Walking.”

Normally, that would be a good thing. He could air out
before going home. Unfortunately, the mild fall was finally starting to feel
like late November. On top of that, they called for a chance of snow. Guilt
would follow her the rest of her days if she let M.J. freeze in some gutter.

“Let me call you a cab.”

She heard mumbling and something that sounded a lot like
bitch
.
Calling her names was not helping his cause.

“Mom’s sick.”

“What?”

Tyler had the alarm turned off and locks disengaged in a few
seconds. She knew he could be lying. Hell, he probably was. If something was
wrong with their mother, Tyler wasn’t taking any chances.

“What’s wrong? Where is she?”

“And they say I’m stupid.”

She didn’t have time to react. All she felt was a fist
hitting her face. Then nothing.

DREW FINISHED HIS workout hitting the pool for fifty laps.
Swimming loosened any tired muscles, refreshing his body after a run and
hitting the weights. His brain flowed, smooth like his arms cutting through the
water. He could think when he swam. This morning he thought about Tyler.

He grinned, drying his hair. Hell, he thought about Tyler
every morning. If he were obsessive, he could calculate the number. Started
after he, a seventeen-year-old kid, was lucky enough to run into a
smart-mouthed fifteen-year-old siren in the making. He couldn’t say every
morning since, but it was close.