If You Only Knew (Harper Falls Book 3) (34 page)

“I’ve had my moments.”

“Haven’t we all?”

Drew tipped his head slightly as if studying her. After a
moment, he gave a nod.

“Yup. Beautiful, smart. Fiercely loyal to those you
love.” He paused, then added. “Eminently lovable.”

Don’t cry
, Tyler told herself. This was not the time
for tears. Not when she was so happy.

“If you need a little more time, I can live with that.
I’m not going anywhere.”

Hadn’t she told him that not too long ago? It was good to
hear him say it. Some things bear repeating — often.

“Come with me.”

Tyler took Drew’s hand, leading him back to the bed. Neatly
made, a pile of linen on the corner chair.

“When did you have time to change the sheets?”

“I’m a man of many skills. Stealth bed making is just
one of them.”

Tyler ran a hand over the quilt. “Much nicer than when
I do it. Sorry.”

She pulled back the covers, disrupting his handiwork.
Pulling, she toppled them both onto the bed. They rolled, Tyler ending up on
top, her mouth fused with his.

“If this is the end result, you can mess up my freshly
made bed anytime you like.”

“Good answer.”

Tyler kissed Drew again. This time slower; her intent
obvious.

Drew’s hand gripped her hips, adjusting until the juncture
of her slightly spread legs fit perfectly against his erection.

“God, Ty. What you do to me.”

“How soon do you have to be at work?” She
practically moaned the words against his mouth.

“Work?” he asked, already pulling the sweater over
her head. “What’s that?”

“MOM WANTS EVERYONE there for Thanksgiving.”

“Thanksgiving?” Tyler looked slightly appalled.
How did it get to be that time of year again?

“You know,” Dani said, face straight. “That
day every November we worship cranberry sauce and football.”

“I thought it was turkey and giblets.”

Dani considered Rose’s statement.

“What are giblets, anyway?”

“Usually the gizzard, heart, and liver of a bird.”

“Nasty.”

All three friends agreed. Luckily, no one they knew used it,
for dressing or otherwise.

“Explain again the difference between stuffing and
dressing?”

“Enough,” Tyler laughed. Once started, this kind
of back and forth could go on for hours. “You know the difference.”

“Only because Mom made me peel those yummy little pearl
onions while she made the dressing. The Wilde family refuses to stick anything
up a turkey’s ass. Roasting, carving, and devouring the poor thing is fine.
Just avoid the anal cavity.”

Tyler almost spit her wine across the room.

“Your mother did not use the words ass or anal.”

Dani shrugged. “Fine. Cavity.
Tomato, tomahto
.”

“Let’s call the whole thing off,” Rose added.

“Yes,” Tyler begged. “Please.”

It was Wednesday at Rose’s. The informal get-together served
two purposes. Catching up on all the news. There was plenty of that. It took
almost an hour for Tyler to repeat in detail everything that happened between
yesterday and this evening.

Less than forty-eight hours. There was more to say than if a
normal, low drama month had passed.

Dani and Rose called that morning just before Drew left. She
was able to assure them she was fine, promising to fill in the blanks later
that evening. After two large glasses of wine, just the right amount of
sympathy and understanding from her friends, followed by some of their usual
nonsensical banter, Tyler felt almost back to her old self.

“It would make more sense to have everyone over
here,” Rose said. She started to pour herself some more wine, hesitated,
then with a shrug went with half a glass.

“You know Mom.” Dani shook her head when Rose held
up the bottle. “It isn’t the holidays for her unless the old house is
bursting at the seams with people.”

“I guess we all feel that way. My first real memories
of a happy Christmas were spent with your family.” Rose thought about it,
smiling. “This year, with all the added bodies, I’m afraid your folks’
house will go beyond bursting to exploding.”

“Our numbers have grown quite a bit since last year.
Alex, Jack, and Drew take up a lot of room. Add half a dozen bodyguards that
always seem to be in town. I don’t expect that to change, even for the
holidays. I’m afraid you’re right, Rose.”

“Maybe a smaller, just family get-together that your
mother can host.”

“Hmm, maybe.” Dani turned to Tyler. “You’ve
gotten awfully quiet. What do you think about our holiday housing dilemma? You
and Drew could host. Finally, crack open the seal on that big house of
his.”

“He asked me to move in with him.”

Rose nodded. “You weren’t ready. Is that bothering
you?”

“Shouldn’t it be?”

Tyler looked at Dani and Rose. Her best friends. They knew
her almost better than she knew herself. Right now, she desperately needed some
insight. This morning, before Drew left, she was fine with her choice to wait.
It was too soon to move in with him. As the hours passed, she began to wonder
if there was more to it.

“Is Drew pressuring you?”

“No.”

“Do you wish he was?” Rose asked.

“Yes,” Tyler admitted, hating herself for it.
“How screwed up is it for me to wish he would swoop me up, take me home.
Force me to live there.”

Dani and Rose shared a glance before breaking into laughter.

“I know,” Tyler sighed. “When has anyone ever
forced me to do anything?”

“If Drew tried, he would be singing falsetto for a
month.”

Her friends were right. Tyler always insisted on making her own
decisions. Just this once, why couldn’t she forget that?

“I’m going to make a suggestion that won’t be very
popular.”

“Right now,” she told Rose, “I’ll take
anything you’ve got.”

“Okay. Remember you asked for it.”

“That sounds ominous. Can I change my mind?

“No,” Rose chuckled. “I promise, it isn’t
that bad. It’s… emotional.”

“What’s left? In the past few weeks, I’ve hit every
high and low I can think of.”

“Except one.” Rose set her glass down, taking
Tyler’s hand. “For the first time since it happened, you’ve let yourself
go back. You’ve reclaimed your memories. It’s made you happy. Dani and I have
watched you bloom with the old love that’s filled your heart again.”

“I know,” Tyler nodded. “Taking back those
good times helped me let go of the past.”

“It could be you stopped too soon.”

“I don’t understand.”

Rose looked at Dani.

“Rose thinks, and I agree, that you need to remember it
all. Not just the good.”

No. Tyler knew what they meant. Even the thought of that
last day, the day Drew broke up with her — crushed her — made her stomach begin
to clench.

“I know how hard it is to relive the bad stuff.”
Rose squeezed her hand. “It helps. Telling Jack about that summer with
Louise was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It made me feel sick. I was sure
he would run, never to return. Instead, it made us stronger.”

“Drew already knows what happened,” Tyler said.
“He was there.”

“This isn’t for Drew. It’s for you. Complete the cycle,
Tyler. You’ve let yourself remember all the good. Go back to the bad. Then let
go of it, once and for all.”

TYLER LET HERSELF into her studio, automatically flipping on
the light switch near the door. She went through the routine of turning the
locks and setting the alarm. Once done, she tossed her keys into the little
iridescent blue bowl she made herself just for that purpose.

When she left Rose and Dani, her original plan was to drive
the short distance to Drew’s house. Knowing if she was going to take another
trip to the past, she would have to do it alone; she called him to beg off.
Work was a lame excuse. But a believable one. He was disappointed, making her
promise to call him first thing in the morning.

There was a lot to think about. Correction. There was only
one thing to think about. What was the song?
How Do You Mend A Broken Heart?
In this case, it seemed she needed to break it all over again.

Tyler moved to her little kitchen. Her first instinct was to
make a big pot of coffee — extra strength. Her own version of comfort food.
Reluctantly, she rejected the idea. At the moment, caffeine, that lovely
stimulant, was not what her system needed.

Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, Tyler took a
heavy quilt from the bed. She toed off her boots, leaving them in a heap.
Settling down on the sofa, she pulled up her legs, wrapping herself in a
comforting cocoon of soft cotton.

Tyler took a deep breath. She tried, somewhat successfully
to relax her body. Closing her eyes, she let her mind drift back.

TEN YEARS EARLIER

TYLER FELT LIKE she was about to burst. She made herself slow
down before she took the path to the river. The last thing she needed was to
end up in a broken heap on the beach. Not today.

She put her bike out of sight before turning toward the water.
The surface seemed to sparkle a little brighter than usual today. The May air
was fresher, the sun providing the perfect amount of heat.

Instead of walking into the little cove, Tyler danced. Her
steps bouncing to the happy tune that played in her head.

She had news. Great, glorious, world-changing news. She
wanted to shout it to the skies. Everyone should know; everyone that mattered
to Tyler. And they would — after she told Drew. He needed to be the first. She
giggled to herself. He was always her first.

Enjoying her own private little joke, Tyler tossed her
backpack to the side. She glanced at her watch, willing the minutes to tick by.

Soon.

Never soon enough.

It seemed like hours had passed when she finally heard the
sound of Drew coming down the path. Another look at the time told her it was
only ten minutes since her arrival. Was that possible?

It didn’t matter. Drew was here now. She waited impatiently,
her feet restlessly shifting in the sand. There. She grinned, launching herself
at him without a bit of hesitation. She knew he would catch her.

She was right. Drew’s arms, strong and sure, didn’t let her
fall. Tyler wrapped her arms around his neck while her legs encircled his
waist.

“Hold on,” she laughed, raining kisses on his
face.

She felt Drew’s arms tighten, pulling her close. He buried
his face in her neck. Tyler could hear him take a deep breath, then whisper,
“You smell like heaven.”

If there was a slight edge to his voice, desperation in his
embrace, Tyler didn’t notice. She was too excited to feel the difference in his
rigid stance. She turned away, not seeing the way he reached for her again only
to pull back, his fisted hands staying glued to his side.

“I thought you would never get here.”

Tyler opened the side flap of her pack, pulling out a piece
of paper.

“I have things to do that don’t involve you.”

Again, she missed signs. The tightness in his voice, his
blank, cold expression.

“Look.”

Tyler held out the paper, her face beaming. Her smile
slipped, just a little when he glanced away.

“I don’t have much time today, Tyler.”

“That’s okay.”

Tyler excused his attitude. Naturally, he wasn’t excited.
She hadn’t told him yet.

“I got it, Drew.”

“Look, Tyler. I have something to tell you.”

“No, no.” She hurried over to him waving the
paper. “Me first. Do you know what this is?”

Drew sighed, obviously impatient.

“Silly of me. How could you know?”

“Tyler—”

Tyler. Not Ty. She felt her excitement turn to worry.
Pushing it aside, she continued.

“Art school. I sent some of my work, not expecting much.
Mrs. Trainor, you know, my art teacher? She wrote a letter of
recommendation.”

She saw Drew look at his watch. He seemed impatient.

Her smile slipped.
What was wrong
? He never acted
like this.

“I…”

Maybe she imagined it.

“It doesn’t matter, Tyler.”

“How can you say that when you don’t know what
it
is?”

This time she shoved the letter in Drew’s face, willing him
to read it. To care.

“The art school I told you about. The one only twenty
minutes from Georgia Tech? According to this paper, I’m a shoe-in. They were so
impressed they said they will set a scholarship aside for me next year.”

“That school isn’t your first choice.”

“Wrong. It
wasn’t
my first choice. After you got
your scholarship, I decided to apply here. It’s just as good as the one in
Chicago.”

“You shouldn’t give up your dream school because of
me.” Drew didn’t look at her; he looked past her. “Go to
Chicago.”

Tyler didn’t know what to say, or what to do. Why?

“You’ve been a little distracted lately,” Tyler
said, trying to find an excuse for his behavior. “Is there something wrong
at home? Is it your dad?”

“He’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Then why—”

“Look, Tyler.”

Drew pulled back his shoulders. He met her gaze straight on.
They were eyes she didn’t recognize. No longer a soft, warm brown. Instead, they
chilled her to the bone.

“This was fun. We had a few laughs.”

“Don’t,” she whispered.

“I’ve decided to leave Harper Falls right after
graduation.”

“I thought we would have the summer together.”

“It will be easier for me to find a job if I go now. I
can move into the dorm right away.”

“I see.”

“Do you?” If possible, his eyes turned harder.
“I’m eighteen, Tyler. Too young to tie myself to anyone. You want more
than I can give. I want… variety.”