If You Come Back To Me (If You Come Back To Me #1) (11 page)

“I can’t, Marc!” she exclaimed. “Ryan just got home!”

“We won’t be leaving for a few days, and you’ll be back by Sunday,” he reminded her. “Ryan is home for a while, isn’t he?”

Mari nodded reluctantly.

When he sensed her wavering, he pulled out all his ammunition. He pressed his forehead against hers and kissed the end of her perfect nose. “Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to get away from all the distractions for a period of time and just focus on us? Wouldn’t you regret knowing that you’d never found out…
for sure?
”

She leaned back slightly, and he saw a world of doubt and longing in her eyes.

“I let you go once, because I thought I didn’t have a choice,” he whispered hoarsely. “I’m not willing to do that again. If you spend this time with me in Chicago, and you decide to walk away, I’ll accept it. But I’m not willing to let you go this time until I know for sure you’re certain,
absolutely
certain, that it’s what you want. How else can you know that until you spend some time away with me, away from all the history of this
town and the people? It’s almost impossible to figure out here with everything and everyone around us.”

He put his hand on the back of her head and tilted it forward, so that their foreheads once again met and their breaths mingled. Her long hair fell like a drape around them, increasing the sense of solemn intimacy.

“It’s only fair, Mari.”

“You always could talk me into anything,” she whispered.

He smiled slowly.

“Don’t be so cocky, Kavanaugh. I’m not so sure I’m happy about that fact,” she added. “I can’t seem to think straight around you.”

“Come to Chicago with me,” he entreated in a hoarse whisper.

She bit nervously at her lip. He waited on tenterhooks.

“Okay.”

He seized her mouth with his own. He’d waited for that acquiescence. Now that he had it, he didn’t bother to hide his hunger for her. She moaned softly when his tongue probed the sweet cavern of her mouth.

She sealed their torrid kiss a moment later, panting.

“Marc…if I go with you, you have to give me some space. I meant it when I said I can’t think straight around you. I want to make a well-thought-out decision about whether or not we can have a future. I can’t do that if you’re always…doing that.”

“Doing what?” he asked silkily as he plucked at her lips.

She joined him, despite her protestations, seeking out his mouth, sliding her tongue teasingly against his lower lip until he groaned and kissed her deeply once again. She tasted wonderful, like peppermint and woman and sex. He spread his hands over her satiny-smooth
shoulders and pressed her down to the mattress. He came down over her, kissing her all the while, coaxing her until his body throbbed with a dull, insistent ache. Her breasts were a delicious, soft firmness against his ribs.

“This,”
Mari hissed a moment later against his mouth.

It took his lust-drunk brain a few seconds to understand what she meant. When he recalled their former conversation, he sighed and sat up, trying to ignore the tempting vision she made lying on the bed with her hair spread out around her and her breasts heaving beneath the thin, gold fabric.

She stood and tried to smooth her hair, which Marc had mussed with his fingertips. He watched her, scowling, as she went over to her closet and withdrew a robe. His frown only deepened when she covered herself. She was all serious business by the time she belted the garment with a defiant tug.

“I won’t agree to go with you on this trip if you continue to do that, Marc.”

“What? Do the most natural thing on earth?” he asked, trying to hide his irritation and failing.

“I’m serious,” she said so loudly that he started. He narrowed his eyes on her. She looked desperate. “We both know we’re sexually compatible. That’s the easy part,” she said, the stain on her cheeks deepening. “You brought up this proposition. If you truly want to discover if we have a future together, then we need to do more than…roll around in bed together.”

His annoyance evaporated when he saw how nervously her hands moved over her belly. He sensed her fragility in that moment. “All right. If that’s what you want, you’ve got it. I promise to follow your lead in regard to the…rolling around in bed.”

She flashed him an irritated glance, but when she saw his smile, she broke into a grin, as well.

“Do you really want to do this?” he asked her.

“Yes. I’ll go—if you promise not to push me.” She glanced up at him through thick lashes, her gaze flickering down over his chest and abdomen and sighed. “You’re very hard to resist.”

He leaned back, his arms bracing him on the mattress.

Patience was what was called for with Mari, but he’d never had to tamp down his lust more than this. Maybe he was as aware as she seemed to be that when they made love, no barriers could exist between them. He supposed Mari was saying that some of those obstacles existed for a reason—they were a defense against hurt, against bad judgment.

She had to let down those barriers at her own pace, not his. He wasn’t planning on hurting Mari, of course. Look at what’d happened today at his mom’s house, though. Marc hadn’t wanted that. Pain seemed to be inherent to any scenario that involved Mari and him together.

He was willing to deal with that potential pain, but Mari had to decide on her own if she was willing to endure the bad that might come with the good.

“I guess there are worse things than you finding me irresistible,” he murmured ruefully.

She ducked her head, hiding her smile. “Much. But for now…” She nodded significantly toward the window. “Don’t break your neck on the way down, Tarzan.”

Marc grimaced as he stood and headed toward the window. He was still hard with arousal. “A broken bone might get my mind off some other aches,” he said under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said as he threw one leg out the window and paused, straddling the low sill, his head still inside Mari’s room. She watched him with a small smile, her arms crossed beneath her breasts.

“You’re sure you want me to go?”

“Quite sure.”

“Do you want me to help you out with anything tomorrow?”

She considered for a moment, her mouth pursed. “You could babysit Jenny and Brendan for Colleen. That way we could go over her contract, and I could show her around the facility after she gets off work.”

Her eyebrows arched when he frowned. She obviously guessed that he’d have preferred to help out with something a little more hands-on in Mari’s company.

“Okay, I’ll take Jenny and Brendan to the beach,” he conceded. His gaze sharpened on her. “But come Friday morning, we’re leaving Harbor Town and everything in it behind for a few days, agreed?”

“Agreed,” Mari said.

Marc hesitated when he saw her expression. “Come here,” he said after a moment.

She approached the window slowly. When he palmed her jaw he saw tears swell in her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered. “Why do you look so serious?”

“I just don’t want to screw up things any further than they already are.”

He placed a hand on her hip and leaned forward, pressing a kiss just below her ribs.

“I know you’ve felt lonely for a long time now,” he told her. “But you’re not going to be standing alone this time. I promise.”

He placed another kiss on her upper abdomen and felt a shudder go through her. He kept his face pressed
just below the fullness of her breasts for a few seconds. She smelled so good he needed to concentrate all of his will in order to leave. After a moment, he lifted his head and looked up at her face. She watched him with liquid, fathomless eyes.

“Okay?” he whispered.

She nodded. He leaned forward and kissed her once more—this time on the naked skin above her left breast—and ducked out of the window.

M
ari arrived at the facility the following afternoon and exclaimed in pleasure when she saw all the bushes and flowers that had been planted. As she alighted from the car, Mari caught a glimpse of her brother carrying a shovel and walking toward the back of the building. Eric Reyes, on the other hand, was crouching and maneuvering a lilac bush into the newly dug earth. He stood as she approached and waved.

“It looks fantastic,” Mari enthused. “I can’t believe how much you and Ryan have done.”

“It’s coming along,” Eric agreed as he removed a pair of gloves. They were practically the only things he was wearing, besides a pair of shorts, socks and tennis shoes. The sun had deepened his muscular torso to a dark bronze. Mari glanced around when she heard the sound of another car pulling into the lot. Eric’s expression stiffened when he saw Colleen step out of the car and start toward them. Mari knew the second Colleen
recognized Eric because she halted momentarily and kicked up a few pieces of gravel before she resumed walking.

Mari cleared her throat, acutely aware of the tension in the air as Colleen joined them.

“You two are going to be working together in the future. I’m hoping you’ll end up respecting each other as much as I respect both of you,” Mari said after she’d greeted Colleen.

She glanced at Colleen, whose chin was slightly raised as she regarded Eric. His expression was also rigid.

Suddenly he smiled, his white teeth flashing in his tanned face. “It’s not going to be me starting any fights,” he said significantly. “Welcome to The Family Center, Colleen. From what Mari tells me, we’re lucky to get you.”

Colleen looked a little taken aback, as if she was deciding which parts of Eric’s greeting were sarcastic and which parts genuine. “Thank you,” she murmured.

Mari sighed and led Colleen into the building to show her around, hoping fervently she hadn’t made a mistake by involving both of them. But the fact was, she trusted Colleen and Eric implicitly. It was their working
together
that created some cause for concern.

After they’d toured the facility and Colleen had chosen an office, they sat down together to go over the employment contract.

“Mari… I’ll have to tell my mom about the job soon,” Colleen said when they were wrapping things up an hour later. “From some of the things you’ve said so far, I’ve gotten the impression you were trying to keep the Center under wraps for the time being. Is it okay with you that Mom knows?”

Mari paused in the action of putting a stack of papers
into her briefcase. “Of course you should tell her,” she said firmly, although it was trepidation that filled her, not confidence. “She’ll have to find out sometime, right? It’s inevitable.”

“I thought…perhaps
you’d
like to tell her,” Colleen said cautiously. “
Me?
I don’t think that’s a very good idea. You saw yesterday how your mom feels about me.” She sighed when she saw Colleen’s worried expression. “Look, I’d like to think that the news about The Family Center will be welcome to Brigit, but I have a feeling she might view it as an insult.”

“An insult?” Colleen asked.

Mari nodded. “I hope she doesn’t, of course. But that’s been haunting me, that your mother might see me starting this project as a sort of sanctimonious slap to the face. It’s her town, after all. She might consider it intrusive, as if I’m purposefully throwing the crash into the spotlight again…re-opening old wounds.”

“But you’re trying to
heal
old wounds. This project is about the future, not the past,” Colleen exclaimed.

“I’m so glad you see it that way. But you must see what I mean. Not everyone will agree.”

“Like your brother?”

Mari sighed. “Yeah. Like Ryan. He also believes the past should remain safely buried and contained.”

Colleen inhaled deeply. “Well, we’ll just have to take it one day at a time. People have their opinions, it’s human nature. Just because everyone in Harbor Town isn’t on board initially doesn’t mean we can’t change their mind. They’ll come around once they see the positive things that come out of The Family Center. The proof is in the pudding, right?”

Mari chuckled, feeling a little less weary. “Bless you, Colleen.”

A few minutes later, Colleen checked her watch and gasped. “Look at the time. I’d better get back to make the kids something, or Uncle Marc will have already fed them pizza and Cheetos or something.”

“He’s not that bad, is he?” Mari asked, grinning.

“No, in all fairness, he’s not. Marc would probably throw in an apple and make them drink milk, along with their Cheetos. Liam, on the other hand, thinks pizza ought to be served for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and Brendan totally agrees.” Colleen paused in the process of getting her keys out of her purse and glanced at Mari speculatively. “Marc told me you were going with him to Chicago this weekend.”

“He did?” Mari asked weakly.

Colleen’s aquamarine eyes sparkled. “Yeah. And I think it’s a brilliant idea.”

“Really?”

“Do you know how rare it is to be given a second chance with someone?” Colleen asked, suddenly sober.

“Colleen, I’ve meant to say… I’m so sorry about your husband. I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I just never got around—”

Mari was reminded of Colleen’s courage when she smiled and stood. “There’s no need to apologize, Mari. Darin and I had some wonderful years together. I cherish every moment I had with him. You and Marc should do the same.”

“It’s hard,” Mari admitted. “The future can be so uncertain.”

“All the more reason to grab your chance at happiness while you can. I’ll talk to you soon,” Colleen said before she left the room.

After Colleen was gone, Mari lingered, thinking
about what she’d said. If she looked at it from Colleen’s point of view, everything seemed so certain, so clear.

But it wasn’t all that cut-and-dried, was it?

Marc had recently been through a divorce. He’d said that a serious relationship or marriage was the farthest thing from his mind. The pregnancy had come from a wild, impulsive moment. What if he wasn’t pleased by the news? It was one thing for him to say he wanted to be with her, even when he’d formerly planned to be cautious in the dating arena, but suddenly being strapped with a relationship and a baby was another thing altogether.

Mari locked up the offices, but her thoughtful mood made her stroll toward the woods and the dunes instead of immediately getting in her car. She walked the length of Silver Dune and paused, staring out at the vast, blue lake. The wind whipped her hair around her face. She pictured standing next to Marc on that ledge fifteen years ago.

Stop thinking so much, Mari. Just jump.

Mari wished it was all that simple.

She kept herself busy that night and the following day. Distracting herself with plans and projects for the Center helped her from ruminating on her worries about Marc, the baby, Brigit, Ryan and a dozen other things.

By the time twilight fell on Thursday evening, Mari knew she was going to have to confront Ryan about her plans to go away with Marc the next day. She broke the news while they were cleaning up in the kitchen after dinner.

“A weekend in Chicago?” he asked slowly. “That sounds serious.”

“It is, I think,” Mari admitted.

“How serious?” Ryan asked, his dark brows drawn together in concern and growing anger.

“Ryan, you’re going to have to trust me on this.”

“I
do
trust you. I don’t trust Kavanaugh. Can’t you see the end result isn’t going to be good?” he demanded. “There’s too much garbage in your pasts, Mari. You deserve something better than that.”

“I want to do this. I
need
to do this.”

Ryan straightened abruptly from where he’d been leaning on the counter. “His father murdered Mom and Dad. How can you even consider a future with Marc Kavanaugh?”

“It wasn’t murder,” Mari countered, just as heatedly. “It was an accident!”

“It was reckless
homicide,
” Ryan boomed.

For a few seconds, Mari just stood there as her brother’s retort echoed in her ears.

“How long?” she asked eventually. When Ryan just pinned her with a furious stare, Mari persisted in a low, trembling voice. “How long are you going to hold on to your anger, Ryan? Mom and Dad are gone. Your anger isn’t going to bring them back.”

“At least I’m respecting their memory,” Ryan said stiffly before he tossed the dish towel on the counter, “which is a damn sight more than you’re doing by climbing into bed with Marc Kavanaugh.”

Mari didn’t get much rest that night. She’d only been asleep for a few hours when she was awakened by the sound of her bedroom window scraping open. A scream building in her throat, she sat up in bed.

“Shhh, it’s me.”

“Marc Kavanaugh,” she scolded in a low, vibrating voice, “I’m going to chop down that elm tree. You scared the daylights out of me. What do you think you’re doing?”

“It’s Friday morning,” he said in a hushed tone. In the
darkness, she saw the shadow of his tall body squeezing agilely through the window.

“It’s not even dawn yet,” she hissed.

“It’s going to be soon. We have to hurry. Come on, get up.”

Mari barely suppressed a squawk when he came over to the bed and pulled the sheet off her.

“Have you packed already?”

“Yes, but—”

“Great. I’ll take your stuff out to the car while you shower.”

Mari blinked when he turned on the bedside lamp. Her mouth was open to protest. But when she saw him— wearing a pair of jeans and a light gray collarless shirt, his hair adorably mussed on his forehead from his tree climbing—he looked so excited and so damn appealing, her irritation faded into mist.

She got out of bed, scowling. She didn’t want him to know how attractive she found him at that moment. He already had more power over her than she preferred. “Okay, but this better be worth it. I just got to sleep a couple of hours ago.”

“I’ll make it up to you. I promise,” he said. Pointedly urging her toward the shower, he nodded at the door.

She thought for sure Marc was going to spirit her away to Chicago the second they were both in his car. He surprised her by heading first to The Tap and Grill and returning with a coffee for each of them before turning toward Main Street Harbor.

“Where are we going?” she whispered when Marc told her to leave her purse in the car. Dawn hadn’t broken yet. The quiet night and her unexpected awakening had created a hushed, tense feeling of expectation inside her.

“Colleen’s boat,” he said as they hurried down a long dock, Mari’s hand in his. “It used to be Darin’s.”

“What…? We’re going to cross Lake Michigan to get to Chicago?”

Marc’s derisive snort was her only answer. Once they reached a moored speedboat, Mari didn’t argue when Marc told her to sit down and relax. It would be another hot summer day once the sun rose, but the pre-dawn air was mild and pleasant. A light breeze tickled her cheek as she listened to Marc untie the craft and start the boat.

Within a matter of a few minutes, they’d passed the buoys designating the harbor, and Marc released the throttle. Her curiosity would have to wait. He’d never hear her questions over the roar of the engine. Mari watched the lights of Harbor Town slowly slide to the right of her vision as the boat cut through the water.

Mari studied Marc’s silhouette in the darkness when the boat slowed. He was sitting on the back of the seat instead of in it. She realized he was searching for some landmark on the shore.

He abruptly cut the motor, and only the sound of gentle waves slapping against the side of the boat entered her ears.

“This is it,” Marc said.

“This is
what?
”

“Come here.”

She stood and grasped his outstretched hand. He guided her to the seat in front of him. From that position, Marc was directly behind her, his legs bent on either side of her. He placed one hand on her shoulder and the other along her cheek. He applied a slight pressure until Mari turned her head toward shore.

“Right about there,” Marc murmured from above her.

The sun had started to rise. Mari could make out the
huge shadow of a dune in the distance. She glanced to the right, gauging the distance to Harbor Town.

“It’s Silver Dune,” she whispered.

“Yeah,” Marc replied.

A warm wind whisked past them. Mari shivered, not from the breeze, but from the feeling of Marc’s left hand moving along her neck. She went still when he caressed her jaw with his fingertips. When she realized how concentrated her awareness was on the sensation of him close behind her, his legs surrounding her, his stroking hand, Mari rolled her eyes in the darkness. You’d think she was a sixteen-year-old on her first date.

“So what are we doing?” she whispered.

“Watching the sun rise over Silver Dune.”

“Why?”

He pressed back on her shoulder, and her head fell in the juncture of his spread legs. Her eyes sprung wide. The location where she her head rested wasn’t really decent, but Marc sounded casual enough when he spoke.

“Why not?”

Mari tried to attend to the sunrise, but it was difficult to do, surrounded by Marc’s scent and heat. The waves gently rocked them, and Marc stroked her neck and shoulder in the most distracting manner. Slowly, the sky behind the black dune began to turn silver and then to muted gold tinted with rose. Neither of them spoke as they watched the crimson orb of the sun top the horizon and then creep through the woods beyond the sand dune. The trees seemed ablaze. Mari saw a structure in the far distance through the trees and gasped.

“What?” Marc asked gruffly from behind her. His voice sounded close, like he’d leaned close.

Mari twisted her head to try and see him. He groaned, and she realized why. When she hastily tried to lift her
head from between his thighs, he rested his hands on her shoulders and kept her in place.

“I can see The Family Center,” Mari said quietly.

“I know. I can, too.”

The sun topped the tall trees at the top of the dunes and sent its warming rays onto a pale blue, shimmering lake.