I Need You (Learning to Let Go) (14 page)

Sara proceeded to sit in the chair, then she thought better of it. She was hoping to get away from this woman as soon as possible, and the way things were going, it was likely that she would end up here all day. “I’ll just bring them back later.”

“Ok, good.” She stuck out her hand, leaving Sara little room to avoid reciprocating. “Nice to meet, you, Sara. Maybe sometime you can tell me how a quiet, little thing like you, snapped up that tall Grecian god you have.”

Sara pulled her shoulder’s back, releasing the tension that had risen to her neck like a geyser. “You’re right, Becca. Your mouth filter is broken. You don’t know anything about me. Don’t assume.”

Quick to defend herself, Becca narrowed her eyes before the slight shake of her shoulders gave her laughter away. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I have a tendency to scare off people, including men. I was giving you a compliment in my own way.”

After a casual wink, Becca turned around and headed to the other side of the office, flipping on the lights to the vet clinic. “Thanks for coming out today, Sara. We’ll call you once we have a creature ready for you and Darrin to take care of,” she yelled.

Sara scoffed before she grabbed the papers and practically ran out of the building. Throwing everything into the passenger seat of her car, she quickly backed out and started to pull away. She made a fleeting glance at the fancy car again, this time her eyes were drawn to the license plate. Sara groaned at the four letters on the license plate, HAWT.

S
ara kicked off her sandals when she walked through the door of her trailer, practically denting the paneling next to the couch when her shoes smacked the wall. Darrin was hot on her heels, stomping right along with her.

“Fucking talk to me, Sara. I thought we were past this.”

Sara had pulled up next to her trailer, not surprised to see that Darrin was waiting there for her. Usually, he avoided confrontations, but she knew that he was going to be royally pissed after she had ignored his phone calls and texts for half the day. Her indignation had grown into full blown childish anger after spending the rest of her morning stewing in town.

“We didn’t talk about anything! I caved and you screwed me. That’s not working on our issues. That’s a diversion.”

A pained look crept across Darrin’s face, quickly fading when he clenched his fists at his sides, staring at her grimly. “I wasn’t
screwing
you, Sara.”

Sara’s eyebrows pulled together as she hissed, “Call it whatever you want, Darrin! Damn it! I shouldn’t have let you put your damn walls back up. I know that I said I would take you anyway I could get you, but I need you to know that I need reassurance from you every once in a while that I mean something to you.”

Darrin’s tight facial expression fell as he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. Sara could tell that she had struck a nerve with him; making him anxious. He didn’t raise his eyes off the floor as he slowly spun on his heel, and headed for the door. He put his hand on the door knob, but didn’t turn it.

Seconds passed before he spoke, and when he did, the crack in his voice gave away his pain. “I don’t talk about feelings, Sara, but I show them. It’s the only way I know how. I wasn’t
screwing
you, I was making love to you. There’s a difference for me,” he said quietly. Without looking back, Darrin pulled the door open and stepped outside.

The sound of his truck starting and then pulling away were the only sounds that registered, as shock riffled through her body.
He doesn’t even give me an iota of emotion for the last few months, and the first feeling he verbalizes in his own way is love?

Cold tingles washed across her body, making her shiver in the sunbaked trailer. The backs of her eyes burned from the unshed tears that she was trying to hold back. Sara knew that once she let go, the tears would fall and fall until the wells were dry, and she needed to get some answers first. Taking a steadying breath, she picked up her purse that she had discarded on the couch and pulled out her cell phone. After scrolling through her contacts, Sara found the number she was looking for.

After a half-garbled
hello
came through the line, Sara responded, “Can I come over? I want to talk with you, Corey.”

She could hear the ruffle of bed covers as Corey yawned in her ear. “Yeah, I’m here. What’s up?”

Grabbing her essentials, Sara answered him as she stalked outside to her car, “I have something I want to ask you. In person. I’m coming over.”

Corey rumbled a deep chuckle. “Sure.”

Sara could barely keep her hands from trembling as she pulled up in to Corey and Bryn’s parking lot next to their apartment. Bryn was bounding down the long fire-escape style stairs as Sara started her ascent.

“Hey, my sista! What’s up?” Bryn yelled down before the girls were even on the same landing.

“Hi, Bryn. I was actually hoping to talk with Corey. I just called him a few minutes ago, and he sounded like he was still in bed. Is he up now?”

Bryn’s eyebrows pulled together in a scowl. “Yes, he’s finally up. Dumbass was out half the night and some skank brought his ass home at four in the morning. I heard his phone ring a few minutes ago. Didn’t know that was you. Why do you need to talk to Corey?”

Sara could feel the weight of her sister’s words, carefully deciding how she wanted to answer. The girls never shared much of their personal lives with each other before, and Sara wanted to continue to keep her private life private. The closest they had ever gotten to discussing anything intimate was last weekend when Bryn had teased her about the activities Darrin had promised to provide after their long week apart. Plus, it didn’t feel right talking about her, up until recently, wonderful relationship with Darrin, when Bryn had just lost a really great guy.

“I have a question to ask him about Darrin.” Sniffing quickly to keep her tears at bay, she added, “It won’t take long, and then I will go with you to get groceries. Okay?”

Bryn’s eyes darted back and forth, scanning Sara’s face before she finally relented, “Sure. I’ll wait down here.”

Stepping closer to her sister, she leaned in to peck her on the cheek. “Thanks, Bryn. I’ll be quick.”

Sara found Corey sitting at the breakfast bar, his head in his hands, sitting over the top of a steaming cup of coffee. Wearing only his boxers, she could see an intricate tribal tattoo on his back, reaching either side of his shoulder blades and scrolling down. Sara was half-tempted to trace it with her finger, to see if it was a treasure trail of sorts. Instead, she opted to pinch the skin under Corey’s forearm, making him jump a good foot off the barstool.

“Jesus Christ, Sara!” he spit out as he lifted his arm to see the mark she had left with her fingernails. “That fucking hurt!”

Sara patted his shoulder before she walked around the other side of the breakfast bar. “I’m sorry, Corey. I couldn’t resist. Have fun last night?”

Corey groaned before he picked up the cup of coffee, almost drinking all of it in one long slug. “I wouldn’t call it fun. More like, it was informational.”

Sara reached over to the coffee maker, pulling the carafe out and refilling Corey’s cup. She grabbed the creamer out of the refrigerator, sitting it down next to the cup. “Not sure I want to know what that means, I guess.”

“No, you don’t. What did you want to talk to me about, Sara?”

Nervously, she shifted from foot to foot, trying to keep her nerves under control. Sara had spent a lot more time with Corey growing up than she did with Darrin, and she knew that neither one of them liked to talk about their past. Between Darrin and Corey, Corey would be considered more vocal, but not by much. However, Corey was always lavishing his affection on Bryn, it seemed. It was too bad that Corey was gay, otherwise he and Bryn would have made the perfect match for each other.

Taking a deep breath, she answered, “What happened to Darrin that he refuses to express any feelings? I know that you both had a horrific childhood, but how did you fare so well, and Darrin ended up an emotionless robot.”

Corey’s blood streaked eyes peered over the cup of coffee he was holding in his hands, studying her for a long time, before he finally set the cup back down. Smiling, he reached across the counter, grabbing both of Sara’s hands in his, “I wouldn’t say that he refuses to express any feelings. He sure as shit has anger down pat.” Tense laughter bubbled out of her chest, quickly fading away.

Corey’s expression sobered. “It’s his story, Sara. If he wants to share it, he will. But know that he cares about you a lot, more than any other girlfriend he has ever had. Shit, I don’t remember him even keeping a girl long enough to call them an official ‘girlfriend.’ You’ve gotten through more barriers than anyone else. Just give him time.”

The pain on Sara’s face must have been obvious, because Corey leaned across the breakfast bar to kiss the furrowed line between her eyebrows. “He’s a good man, Sara. It’s gonna take a hell of a woman to put up with his shit.” Winking at her, he finished, “You thick-headed Lonneman women are sure gluttons for punishment. That’s all I gotta say.”

Sara pulled her hands out of his grasp, patting his knuckles before she meandered back to the front door. “Thanks, Corey. I think,” she laughed. “Maybe you should go back to bed and get some more sleep. You look like death warmed over.”

Corey slapped her ass before she could make it all the way out the front door. “Your smart mouth is about as bad as your sister’s. Maybe it isn’t such a good idea for you to spend more time together.” He had to practically yell the last of his words as the door shut behind her.

Laughing, she kept hopping down the stairs, almost bouncing until she reached the bottom. Bryn was patiently waiting, sitting on an old cooler that had been tipped over. “Everything okay now?” she asked as she stood up from her perch, brushing off the backside of her jean shorts before she headed towards the car.

Sara smiled at her sister, a big wide happy grin. “Yup. Let’s go eat. I’m starving. Plus, I gotta tell you about the crazy woman that I met this morning.”

“Ooohh, gossip. Let’s go eat Pad Thai over by the mall, and then we can take a peek at the new shoe store. I was supposed to be riding tonight with Corey, but I don’t see that happening. Wanna go see a movie later on?” Bryn animatedly spoke as she pulled Corey’s beat up old pick-up truck down the broken down driveway.

“No, I gotta get back to Darrin’s before supper time. I really hurt him this morning. I better get back there to make it up to him.” Sara was envisioning showing up at his house in her black and pink matching bra and panty set, with a pair of high heels on. Of course, she would wear her long trench coat over to his house, in case something happened on the way. She didn’t need anyone to see her trying to be a seductress.

Bryn just answered with a smirk plastered across her face. “At least one of us is getting some.”

Sara didn’t respond; she just rolled her eyes. But, inside she was thinking,
yes, and that is how he shows me that he loves me.

I
t was early evening on Sunday when she decided to head over to her sister’s apartment with a huge laundry basket full of clothes. Even though Bryn had gone to Sturgis for the weekend and into the week, it had become a Sunday ritual the girls had shared. Plus, her sister had a collection of bra washing balls, and the dryer at the apartment had a steam dryer for her new collection of intimate apparel.

Most of her new pieces were gifts from her lug of a boyfriend. After last weekend’s fisticuffs with Darrin, and then Corey’s abbreviated version of his brother’s psyche, Sara knew that she had to try to meet Darrin half-way. Not every relationship had to be full of gooey, gushy emotions; at least not one that she wanted to be in. Emotional intimacy was important to her, but if it was something Darrin literally could not do, then she would have to show him that they could find ways to work around that.

When she first stepped foot into Darrin’s shop last weekend, she apologized for being a spoiled brat and ignoring him. Then she showed him her barely there undergarments with the pink ribbons that darted through the lacey material. After worshipping her body while she was still in a state of semi-dress, Darrin practically ripped the flimsy material from her body with a quick pull in both directions. He simply growled that he would buy her more while he used his own body to convey as many emotions as he could.