I Hate Summer (35 page)

The defeated look didn’t suit him at all.

Shit
…. I had said I would fuck Trystan because of that little stunt he pulled on Saturday morning. I’d completely forgotten about it, and he’d been stressing.

What the hell was wrong with my chest?

It wasn’t like I’d never fucked a virgin before; I’d just never had to care about anything other than the physical shit, never mind the mental prep that must come with suddenly switching teams.

I stared at his back and there was that weird tension feeling again. It felt a bit like lust, but it was higher up on my spine, just between the points of my shoulder blades. It had that same tingling slightly electric feeling, just softer and somehow more intense.

I was on my feet, rounding the end of the bed in two quick steps. I hooked a hand around his waist, twisting him round to face me just as he was about to reach for the door handle.

I didn’t even have time to feel embarrassed about the words that were about to come out of my mouth.

“Can ye trust me when I say it’s only ye that I want t’ sleep wi’? I still feel nothing for anyone else.”

It was my turn to stare down the blank look, but I gave him time and the resignation in his eyes softened just a little. I felt the tension beneath my hand relax slightly as he gave the smallest inclination of his head. I stepped a little closer to him, holding his gaze and giving him a soft smile.

“I’m sorry, too, for flipping out and not explaining. It’s just… fricking hell—” I sealed my lips over his. Kissing him was easier than trying to explain that it was easier to assume Trystan was just the same as everyone else. Because thinking that he wasn’t was terrifying.

“Just so ye know.” I drew away just enough to murmur breathless words against his lips. “Keeping my hands off ye at the weekend was killing me.” I wasn’t quite ready to explain that my sister’s words had also had a part to play in my odd mood that weekend, but Trystan’s air of dejectedness was retreating. With my hands resting against the firm muscles of his waist, I could see the dark smirk returning to his lips as he stared at me.

I needed to say this quickly, because I didn’t think I could say it to smug Trystan.

“As for the sex thing….” I swallowed and forced myself to meet his eyes, and then I kissed him again, softer and swifter this time. “I know what I said, but I don’t want ye t’ stress about it. It’s supposed to be fun; yer supposed t’ want it. So if yer really that bothered, I’ll leave it be for now.”

I had never,
ever
said that to anyone. If I wanted a fuck, I’d fuck, and even if they weren’t that into bottoming, I’d railroad them into it. I was good at topping, I always made sure my partners got off, but that was because watching someone squirm in pain doesn’t do anything for me, not because I really cared.

But I wanted Trystan to want me; I craved that look of glazed lust I had seen on his face so many times when he took me. I wanted it to be on his face while I fingered him and spread him and pressed into him. And I wanted that look because I knew it would only be mine. I could horde it away, and no one else would ever be able to have it.

Wait,
what
? When had I started thinking like that?

My confused thought was sidetracked as the idea of him begging for my cock sent little fireworks of excitement and lust dancing through my stomach, a feeling that was completely inappropriate given that we were just making up, and he’d just told me he was worried about exactly that.

But I stared into those satin brown eyes of his and he looked… what? Kind of disappointed?

A slow smile spread itself over my lips. I couldn’t believe what I was thinking about. Because the idea I’d just had definitely wasn’t going to help me to get over the borderline too-intense feelings I was having.

No, the thought made that odd feeling in my chest pulse and sent a little prickly shimmer out along my limbs. But I didn’t care right then, because the idea of getting Trystan to beg for me was enough to drown out the little warning voice at the back of my head.

I leaned in to scoop my hand around the back of Trystan’s neck, I pulled his reluctant form closer to me, and I kissed him gently. I think he was a little startled, because the only gentle kiss we had exchanged had been the one initiated by him last weekend.

“Guess I need t’ trust ye too,” I whispered against his lips as I broke the kiss but left our lips touching slightly so my sight was full of his eyes and the warmth that filled them.

“You’re such a pain in the ass.” He pulled my lips back against his.

I urged him back against the door, letting my hand slip down his neck and the other rest against his hip as I kissed him as softly as I could manage. I could feel his lingering nervousness between our lips. It was heady, and I hadn’t really anticipated how hard it would be not to grind down into him and mash my body against his and paw at every piece of flesh I could find.

I pulled away with a deep shuddering breath and stared at an equally breathless Trystan. A faint ember of irritation rekindled in his eyes as he stared at me.

“You think you can just kiss me and expect me to forget you shot me down?”

“Who said I was just going t’ kiss ye?” I grinned and pressed another kiss against his flushed lips.

I’d enjoyed the last week of being completely dominated by this guy. But staring at him as I pulled away again—with his cheeks flushed as he leaned back against the wall, under me—definitely reawakened the part of me that up until this point had been happy to sit back and bask in the pretty impressive orgasms. But it was out now. I stared at Trystan and straightened to use my extra centimeter of height to my full advantage so I could reach down to kiss him.

He wanted to be fucked: that flicker of disappointment had definitely told me that. He just needed to admit it to himself first. And it was probably going to kill me, but I was going to help him realize it.

I kissed him with my body held over him, and I didn’t let him take charge. I grabbed his hands as he brought them up to touch me and pinned them against the wall as I drove my tongue into his mouth, tasting him. I hummed lightly at the back of my throat as he struggled slightly, then gave up trying to free his arms and just pressed his body up into me instead.

God that was hot. How had I thought it was normal to live without that?

I groaned as he arched his back to roll his hips against mine. This man was definitely going to kill me.

“Come here.” I tugged him away from the door as I broke the kiss, backing us across the room and toward my bed. I twisted slightly and threw him down across the duvet with a smile tugging at my lips for the mixture of apprehension and lust that dusted his face. I only wanted one of those emotions.

“Relax, Trys.” I crawled over him, pinning him underneath me as I brought my mouth up to his neck. I made short work of his shirt and moved swiftly onto his jeans as I kissed him deeply. I had to stop undressing him a few times to press his hands away from my own clothes. And finally I knew why Dan got so annoyed with me when I didn’t just lie there and behave like a good passive catcher.

“What’re you doing, Ide?” His voice was low and slightly breathy as I pushed his hands away yet again and finally stripped him of his last item of clothing, leaving him naked and gorgeous and me fully clothed. I sat back on my ankles and took a moment to appreciate the gift I had unwrapped.

“Just looking,” I replied with an honest grin.

Hell, he was actually divine; just looking at him like that made my blood hum slightly. His neck and shoulders and chest had a pleasant hint of a tan, the muscles that shifted beneath were nicely defined, and all of it was dusted with a faint red blush where I’d worked his skin with my lips and teeth. His stomach—that perfect balance of just enough muscle to give definition but nothing too over the top—led down to tidy hips where his dick waited for my touch, half-hard from my kisses. I bit my lip and made a small rumble of appreciation as I dropped back down over him. I went straight for his cock and made him jerk slightly in surprise. I palmed him slowly while I pressed kisses down the ridge of hair that ran from his belly button to his cock, then down his thighs.

My own cock was responding, pressing uncomfortably against my jeans, begging for something to relieve the pressure that had been building since the start of the weekend. But I was going to have to wait, because even if I undressed just to get myself off, I wasn’t sure I would be able to resist the gorgeous body that was now writhing under my hands and begging for me to wrap my mouth around him.

“Fucking hell, Ide.” Trystan’s confused curse was music to my ears as I finally pressed my lips around his cock and worked him at a leisurely pace that would build him up but wouldn’t get him off. His hand went for my head, pressing down, urging me on like he usually did. And God, part of me wanted to just let him take control. Instead I brought my hand up, wrapped it around his wrist, and tugged his fingers from me. Driving that hand into the duvet, I held it there. I glanced up and met his eyes. I could see him working out what was going on, and that flash of apprehension returned. I smiled at him around his cock and deliberately held his gaze as I used my free hand to push his knees up and then reach between his ass cheeks.

“Calm down, Trys. I’ve been here before, remember?” I whispered as I released his erection from between my lips. Catching a bit of the leftover moisture, I pressed my finger lightly against the ribbed hole that was hidden between the firm globes of his ass. He’d stopped trying to get his hand free and had gone a little slack, his face screwed up in a mixture of leftover lust and what was definitely something verging on fear. He’d been a little drunk last time, and I hadn’t been able to see his face, but I really hoped that he hadn’t been this scared.

“I’m not going to fuck ye, Trys,” I whispered lightly as I ran my tongue up the underside of his still bobbing cock, while my finger kept up gentle but firm pressure around the ridged hole.

His groan did not help the throbbing pressure in my hips.

I wasn’t going to fuck him, but fricking hell I really wanted to. I wanted to press my fingers inside of him, stretch him slowly, bring him right to the edge over and over while I took my sweet time with him. And then I wanted to bury my cock inside his ass that I knew would be almost too tight and absolutely divine, and I wanted to drive him back to the edge and show him exactly how amazing it was to be gay.

But I wasn’t going to. I massaged his ass while I toyed with his cock, and I waited for that lingering tension to unwind. Then I made sure my finger was coated in as much saliva as it would hold and pressed a little more firmly. I felt his muscles flicker and release and then my finger was inside of him. I held it still and increased my work on his cock while he got used to it.

“See, no different than last time,” I whispered as I lifted off his cock again to check his response. I kind of wish I hadn’t, because Trystan’s face was screwed up, and as I looked down on him I could see the trembling tension in his spine. And it wasn’t in a bad way.

“Nnnn, much better… than… last time.” He shuddered between his words, and I could see the little jerking movements in his hips that were him trying to hold himself still.

I sucked in a very deep breath and folded over on myself so I couldn’t look at him anymore, because my cock had just made a very loud complaint about its current constricted position while my head had gently suggested a much better constricted position it would rather take up. I dropped my mouth back over Trystan’s erection, and his strangled gasp didn’t help, nor did the uncontrolled jerk of his hips right to the back of my throat, or the ripple of pressure around my finger. But concentrating
did
help and I ravaged his cock with my mouth as my finger curled and I started gentle movements that would loosen… only I couldn’t think about that, so I just concentrated on finding his prostate.

That didn’t help much either, because the noises he made were rumbling straight through my cock. I was honestly wondering if I was turned on enough to climax without any stimulation at all as Trystan begged me to let him come.

The begging was divine; his voice was low and desperate and broken by moans, and God how I wanted him to beg for my cock inside of him. My hips were arching and grinding against nothing, pressing my erection into my own jeans, and I was so turned on that it was almost enough to get me off.

“Oh… fucking hell…. Ide, make it… just let… fuck.” Trystan’s voice was pained and gorgeous. I felt his ass ripple around my finger, and he was pressing down into my hand almost as much as he was arching up into my mouth, and with a last thought for my sanity, I picked up my pace just enough to finally drive him the rest of the way into his orgasm.

He shouted something incomprehensible as his cock shuddered in my mouth. And Holy Mother of God, his ass was so hot and so fricking tight around my finger as I swallowed down the hot rich cords of his pleasure.

I stayed where I was for a few minutes after I had finally licked him clean. I had to, because I was still dancing along the edge of my self-control, especially with the way his ass continued to spasm around the digit still pressed inside of him.

“Ide?” Trystan’s voice was hoarse and questioning as he lifted his head to look down at me.

“Nnnn” was all I was able to mutter back. I took a deep breath. Fricking hell, his muted gasp as I finally withdrew my finger
did not help
. I pressed my eyes shut as I sat back on my heels and then I heard him sitting up and…. Fuck. He was climbing on top of me, his bare ass spreading over my lap as his hands came round my back and his mouth found mine.

I pushed him hastily away, and as I opened my eyes, I was met with confusion.

“Sorry, Trys, I’m just a bit… on edge.”

His confused frown morphed into a grin, and he crawled back over to me.

“Think you can control yourself while I help you out?” He was hurrying at my jeans and I groaned unintelligibly as he freed me and wrapped his mouth instantly around the seeping, sopping head of my dick. And I had the most amazing view of his ass as he bobbed down over me. I didn’t last more than a minute until I was jacking up into his throat and whimpering at the beautiful unfurling of pressure.