I Don't Want to Lose You (8 page)

             
“I'm sure you didn't hear me cheering for you even though I was in the front,” I said.

             
“I not only heard you, but I saw you.  I didn't know you could be that loud.  And I didn't choke.”

             
I smiled.  “I guess the curse is broken.” 

             
“So I don't get a hug?” he asked.

             
I whispered congratulations in his ear after I gave him a hug and a kiss on his cheek.  I left a mark since I had on a dark red lipstick.  “Dude, you have to let me go,” I whispered more than once.  He did and I stepped back.  “I have a story to write while it's fresh in my head so I'll see you guys on Monday.”

             
As I walked away I could hear the guys giving him high fives and making comments about the lip print on his cheek.  Had I not broken up with Nathaniel that morning, I might not have been so brazen.  I had hoped he would wash it off before Monday since there was a possibility that Nathaniel and I would be back together by then, which he did and we were.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

             
I was sitting in Government class barely paying attention to what the teacher had to say since politics and all that encompassed it failed to pique my interests.  While I did have opinions, I was not one under the opinion that any acts of a government official would be for the best interests of all.  Someone, no matter how hard one might try, would get the short end of the stick.  I didn’t think of myself as a pessimist, but a realist. 

             
Somehow whatever subject we were discussing in the chapter hopped, skipped and jumped itself into the topic of immigration.  Although the teacher was a Black male, there were only three Black students in the class.  Needless to say, I had no desire to contribute my thoughts on the matter.  I liked my teeth where they were.  I liked my eyes being able to open and shut easily.  I liked the shape of my nose.  Most of all, I liked my life.  Granted, most in the class were my good friends and I doubted that opening my mouth, once again, would deter them from me.  I wasn’t, however, interested in taking that chance.

 
     I was sitting there hearing the voices of everyone around me, some heated and some calm, while doing a mental countdown of how many more seconds would pass before the bell would ring. I made a face when I realized that I wasn’t doing the multiplication in my head correctly and that caught the attention of the teacher.

 
    “Monica, by the look on your face, you don’t agree,” the teacher said.

 
                 I quickly changed my expression to one of confusion.  “Say what?”  I saw that everyone turned to look at me.

 
    “Ms. Walker, since you are a minority in this class, what do you think about illegal immigration?” asked the teacher.

 
                 Seeing that all eyes were on me, I replied, “I refuse to respond on the grounds that it might-”

 
     “Just answer the question,” Puppy interrupted.  I shot him a look that told him he will be hurt once class was over and he sat back and looked straight ahead.

 
     “This is not a court of law, Ms. Walker,” the teacher said.  “This is a classroom where we have discussions that all should feel open to participate in.  So, once again, what are your thoughts on illegal immigration?”

 
     Internally I revved myself up to get ready to go because I knew I was going to end up going toe to toe with someone, if not everyone, either inside or outside of the class.  “I think the borders need to be made more secure to prevent people from coming in all willy nilly.  There will never be control without more regulating and it starts by cutting them off at the pass.”

 
     Suddenly there were a ton of outbursts flung in my direction.  The teacher calmed the class down.  When there was silence, a Mexican classmate asked, “So in other words, you want to keep out Mexicans?”

 
     “No, that’s not what I said.  Mexicans aren’t the only ones that come here illegally.  I’m referring to
all
who come here illegally. But with where we are in Los Angeles, we primarily are dealing with illegal immigrants from Mexico.”

 
    “Do you know, Monica, what people in Mexico are trying to escape?” I turned my head the other direction to see the question was coming from Theo.

 
    “While I have visited Mexico before, I have not gone into the depths of the country to know how bad it can be,” I answered.  “It was horrible from what I saw and that was very little.  I also know what I have heard on the news and on television, even though I know there are some real nice parts of Mexico.  But Mexicans who are trying to sneak over aren’t the only people in the world who do it, so don’t take it as a racist or prejudiced comment.  The way that the United States is glamorized on television and in movies would make people want to try to obtain the American dream.  But the way that some people go about it is not right and it’s not fair.”

 
              Theo shook his head in disbelief.  “How can you say it’s not right or fair?

 
     “You want to be real with this, Theo?” I asked in a high pitched voice.

 
     “Who’s Theo?” the teacher asked.

 
     “That’s what she calls Teodoro,” Sonya answered.

 
     The teacher nodded and looked back at the two of us to see who was going to say something next.

 
    “Please, be my guest,” Theo responded.

 
    “The government puts laws and processes into effect for a reason. You out of all people should know that.  In the democracy that we live in, the people in office are elected to do that and it’s not for any of us to pick and choose which laws suit us well or not or else chaos and anarchy could erupt.  But let’s start with the not right part.  It’s not right that people come over here and pop out an anchor baby and then feel entitled to take advantage of all that government assistance provides funded by the hard working people in the country, and for the record it’s not just Mexicans who do it either. My mother and father didn’t work as hard as they have in order for their tax dollars to pay for other people to live off of that aren’t taking the necessary steps to become citizens.  The citizens are the ones who are entitled to that assistance but it seems like its gotten all twisted up.  That’s not right.  Now let me get to the fair part.  It’s not fair that people from all over the world who want to be an American come here and work their butts off to become citizens and have to contribute towards paying for those same people who don’t want to go through the legal steps.”

 
                 “So are you saying these people should just suffer where they are?” Theo asked.

 
    I distorted my face as I answered, “Don’t twist my words, Theo.  They are welcomed to come so long as they do things the right and fair way.  The legal way.  No sneaking.  No cheating.  No running.  If you’re going to do it, then do it right. That’s it.”

             
“To do all of that the right and fair way would take time and money which a lot of these people don’t have,” Theo replied.

             
“Then maybe the process is broken and that’s something politicians should be looking at fixing, don’t you think?” I asked.  I sat back and pursed my lips because I was done and had nothing else to say.

 
     My internal prayer for relief was answered by the sound of the bell as I looked at Theo, waiting for him to say something, but he didn’t.

 
      “Thank you all for a nice discussion,” the teacher said before he yelled out a reminder of the homework assignment over the sounds of students trying to rush out of the class. 

 
                  I hurriedly got my things and walked out of the class with Sonya telling me that she agreed with my views, admitting that she wasn't an anchor baby herself but a third generation Mexican American. 

             
Next thing I knew, I felt an arm around my shoulder.  I instantly recognized who it belonged to by looking at the hand.  I turned my head to face Theo.  “Does this mean you don’t hate me or my opinions?”

             
A smirk crossed his lips, but I couldn’t see his eyes since he had on his reflective sunglasses.  “I could never hate you.  And I respect your opinions even if I don’t agree with all of them.  Not to mention I love seeing that side of you.  I had to egg you on.”  He removed his arm and took my hand and kissed it before taking off to walk in the other direction. 

             
I spent the rest of the walk to my class thinking how I wished Nathaniel could have that attitude.  It seemed like anything that I didn’t agree with him about resulted in a lecture until I finally took his side. But if I was passionate enough about what I felt, it generally led to a short break in our relationship due to his inability to respect that I could think for myself.

CHAPTER TWELVE

              After I finished conducting an Honor Society meeting, I opted to not go straight home or leave the campus yet.  I had too much on my mind and wanted to do the one thing that helped me to relieve tension.  Walk.  It was foolish of me to go walking where I went, but I did it anyway.  I stopped by my locker to put my backpack in there and then headed over to the football field to walk around the track.  I was halfway down the side that I started on when I heard Theo call my name.  I stopped as he jogged over to me.

             
“What are doing over here alone?” he asked.

             
“How did you know I was here?  Did you need me for something?”

             
“When I didn't see you walk out of the gate I asked everyone where you went.  They all pointed this way.  Are you all right?”

             
I took a deep sigh.  “No.  I needed to think and walking helps me to clear my mind.”

             
“Do you want to talk about it?  I'm here.”

             
“I need to talk to someone but I don't know if you'd understand completely,” I said.

             
“I can just be a listening ear if you want.”  He put his backpack down on the grass and gave me his arm.  “Let's walk.  You can talk.”