I Am Yours (Heartbeat #3) (5 page)

Chapter Ten
Jada

I should be on a bus heading back to Pennsylvania. Instead, I’m perched on a sand dune, wearing a hoodie and sweating profusely under the noontime sun. I can’t bring myself to walk away—not yet. I have to witness the deed firsthand before I’ll believe that Adam’s safe. He’s definitely not my favorite person at the moment, but my protective instincts are on high alert. I have to make sure this happens, for his sake.

I crouch lower, shielding the burn on my face as well as to avoid being seen. They’re all aligned under a canopy, waiting for Kelly’s big entrance. Brian is standing barefoot on the packed sand close to the waves. His white pants are cuffed at the bottom and he’s wearing a pair of Ray-Bans. His jaw is tight and his posture is rigid as the wind ripples the lapel of his satin vest. The minister is trying to make small talk with him, but it’s like he’s purposely tuning him out. I can’t tell if it’s the effects of his hangover or if Brian’s normally this rude.

The O’Malleys are chatting with another middle-aged couple, most likely Kelly’s parents. They’re all dressed a little too formally for the occasion as Mrs. O’Malley empties the sand out of one of her high-heeled pumps while holding on to her husband’s arm. It would be comical if I felt like laughing, but I don’t.

As if on cue, a dreadlocked ukulele player begins to strum the opening chords of Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March,” officially kicking off the ceremony. I allow myself to exhale a tiny bit. So far, everything’s going off without a hitch. Adam’s almost in the clear.

And it’s as if my thinking about him makes him appear. I don’t even notice Katie on his arm as they step out of a side tent. He’s all I see. His hair is slicked back with the elastic band I gave him weeks ago, and I feel such a profound sense of remorse that I have to look away for a minute. He was so close to being mine. If we didn’t take this trip, who knows what might have developed between us?

His face is freshly shaven and his tan skin looks amazing against his white gauzy shirt. A pair of khaki shorts accentuates his long legs, and he has to duck to make it under the canopy. He’s still the lanky guy who first made me swoon while strutting around campus, but seeing him like this simply takes my breath away.

A seagull squawks close to where I’m hiding and Adam looks back over his shoulder. I scoot down, praying he doesn’t see me. I feel like a wedding crasher, even though technically I was invited. I was supposed to be Adam’s date—scratch that—Adam’s girlfriend. But I couldn’t keep my mouth shut, and now there’s someone else on his arm. Maybe honesty isn’t the best policy when it comes to love and war.

When I hear a collective sigh, I cautiously raise my head. The white train of Kelly’s maternity gown immediately fills my vision. She’s beaming as she clutches a bouquet of calla lilies to her bulging stomach. I snicker to myself, seeing that even sporting a baby bump she has the audacity to wear white as she saunters down the makeshift aisle lined with seashells. Brian’s mouth forms a thin line as her veiled head turns in Adam’s direction.

The minister begins shouting over the roar of the sea. “We are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.”

Kelly coughs, sneaking another glance at Adam. She lets her gaze linger too long and Brian’s face turns scarlet, and I don’t think it’s from the heat.

As the minister drones on, Brian steps to the side to block his brother from view. Kelly follows suit, realigning herself so her eyes remain fixed on Adam. Brian’s fists clench, and before another word is said, he lashes out, “Are you marrying me or my brother?”

There’s a hushed silence among the spectators as the ceremony grinds to a halt. This is what I was afraid of. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why Brian would go through with marrying Kelly…but oh, how I wish I were wrong. Things are about to get ugly.

“Brian, don’t be silly. Of course I’m marrying you.” I have to strain to hear Kelly’s response as she tries to remain poised.

“Well, it sure doesn’t seem like it.” Brian fidgets with his boutonniere before throwing it at her feet.

“Brian! What do you think you’re doing? Are you crazy?” Kelly kicks it back at him, the annoyance in her voice beginning to carry.

“No, I think I’m finally thinking clearly for the first time in months. There’s no way in hell I’m going through with this.” He starts unbuttoning his vest when Kelly reaches for his hand to stop him.

“You can’t be serious! You’re just going to leave me…and your unborn child?” Their parents start to mumble as Kelly plays her trump card.

“Huh, that’s funny.” The smirk on Brian’s face is unmistakable even from yards away. He’s going for broke.

“Brian, don’t!” The warning in Kelly’s tone is implicit as Brian rolls up his sleeves and turns to face Adam.

“I’m sorry, bro. But I’m sick of lying. Too many people have gotten hurt and I refuse to welcome this child into the world, robbing it of its true identity. It’s just not right.” Adam gives him a curt nod, offering no resistance to his brother’s impending revelation.

“No, Adam,” I mutter, too far away to make a difference. “You can’t let him do this. Damn it! You were home free.”

“Everyone, this baby isn’t mine. It’s Adam’s.” The minister drops his Bible as both sets of parents swarm the couple. But my attention is drawn to the girl in the jade dress who collapses onto the beach. Adam sees her fall at the same time I do, but he’s trapped behind the others as he helplessly watches her head hit the sand. Pushing his way through the ruckus, he finally reaches her stricken body, the waves lapping at her feet.

Everything seems to happen in slow motion as everyone stops talking at once. Adam’s cradling Katie’s head in his arms, and it’s like an image out of one of his nightmares, but this time it’s playing out in reality. He starts to panic, yelling directions at anyone who will listen. Her forehead is bleeding and he whips off his shirt to serve as a compress.

I should run down there and help him. After all, it’s what I’m trained to do, but I can’t move. I’m frozen in place because in my gut I know he doesn’t want me near her. I’d only get in the way, especially since he thinks he’s the only one who can save her.

He’s barking out orders left and right as the ukulele player drags a cooler out of the tent, rummaging through it for ice to apply to Katie’s forehead. Adam’s feverishly checking for a pulse, and when he doesn’t start mouth to mouth, I know he’s found it. She just fainted, probably from the shock of learning her dream guy knocked up her cousin. Funny how I kept my bearings when I heard the news, but then again, I’m not pale and fragile. It’s my job to remain cool under pressure. It’s no use being weak when circumstances get difficult. I’m made of tougher stuff than that.

“Oh my God, Katie, wake up!” Kelly screeches, turning away from her fuming groom. Heedless of the incoming surf, she doesn’t even realize the bottom of her dress is getting wet, tangible proof of just how much of a train wreck this sham wedding has become.

Everyone stands in a semi-circle around Adam, no one wanting to get too close to the best-man-turned-homewrecker. They don’t ask him if they should move Katie or call 911. They respect his authority, giving him the space he needs to work. And thankfully, Adam’s movements have evened out. They’re not as frantic. By sizing up his body language, I can tell Katie’s going to be okay. I know him well enough to be assured of that. He’s my partner, after all.

Was
my partner. I swallow the lump in my throat. I can’t second-guess my decision. He’s a good paramedic—a great paramedic—but I couldn’t stand by and let him put another patient at risk. I had to sacrifice what remained of our relationship for the sake of any more innocent victims who might have fallen prey to his carelessness and neglect. It was my duty to report him, so why do I feel like I made the worst decision of my life? I acted more out of vengeance than righteousness, and if Katie hadn’t appeared out of thin air, I probably wouldn’t have acted at all.

I sink to my knees, running the grains of sand absently through my fingers. I deliberately severed ties with Adam the moment I got Talbot on the phone. There’s no going back now. Whatever feelings I have for Adam will have to be suppressed and eventually eliminated. He’s made his choice. It’s time for me to move on.

Getting to my feet, I cast one fleeting glance at the man I love. And for some reason, my movement gets his attention and his head pops up. Katie is staring blankly at him, and his palm is cradling her face, but his eyes are on me. His gaze is tortured, as if I’m the one who’s haunting his thoughts now, not the girl sprawled across his lap. It’s like we’ve switched places in his mind and I’m the one he can no longer have.

I give him a hesitant wave and he inclines his chin slightly in response. Luckily, no one is aware of our silent conversation. It’s like we’re communicating on another level, one they can’t begin to understand. We issue our goodbyes across the stretch of beach that’s separating us. Things can’t go back to the way they were and I think we both realize that.

Whatever we had is over.

Chapter Eleven
Adam

“I want your shit out of my place—”

“Your place? I think I’m the one who’s paying most of the rent!”

“And whose name is on the fucking lease?”

“I don’t care! You can’t kick me out now. Where am I supposed to go?”

“That’s your problem.”

“Brian, please—”

“No, Kelly. I’ve had enough.”

I can’t listen to this anymore. They’ve been going at it since we got back from the beach. I was the only fool stupid enough to stick around. Everyone else decided to give the raging couple some privacy. Even Katie went along to get something to eat, bandaged head and all. Even though Katie’s obviously avoiding me, I’m too involved to simply run and hide. If this is my time of reckoning, so be it.

“Brian, that’s enough.” I ease the back door open and descend the concrete steps leading into the garden. Sobs are wracking every inch of Kelly’s body as she wilts beneath the ninety-degree heat. This isn’t good for her or the baby. I have to intervene.

Dragging a chair across the lawn, I arrange it beneath the voluminous folds of her dress. She leans heavily against me before her feet give way and she clutches my arm for support. She’s probably dehydrated. I better get her some water. I start retreating toward the house but Brian’s words slice through me.

“Don’t even think about going anywhere, Adam.” His voice is lethal. I’ve never heard him like this, like he’s capable of killing me right on the spot.

“Brian, she’s had enough. Can’t you see…?” I plead my case, but it’s falling on deaf ears.

“I don’t care what happens to her—or to you for that matter.” He kicks a flowerpot, sending shards of broken pottery sailing across the grass. “You’re as much to blame as she is.”

“Everything was settled, Brian. So why did you have to go and fuck it up?” Kelly interrupts and he shoots her a venomous glance.

“Maybe because I’m sick of covering for two people who don’t even give a shit about me.” Brian advances toward her, forcing me to place myself in front of him. He’s so worked up I don’t know what he’s capable of doing.

“But she has a point, man. Why go all the way to the ’I dos’ before calling it quits? Why the public spectacle?” I hold up my hands to ward him off, hoping he doesn’t tackle me in the process. He always whooped my ass when we were kids, and considering the state he’s in, he’ll probably have no problem doing it again.

“You think I enjoy being humiliated? You think I like being compared to my little brother?” The fury, the outrage, the hurt, has been seething inside of him for quite a while. Now it’s all just pouring out of him, unable to be contained. “Huh? Do you?”

“Of course not!” I stumble as he pushes roughly against my shoulders. He shoves me again before I have time to recover, and I fall to the ground as he kicks me in the stomach. I groan when his foot connects with my aching ribs.

“Brian, stop it!” Kelly screams at the top of her lungs, and I see his foot halt in mid-air.

“You know what? You’re not even worth it.” He grabs me by the hair, leering into my face. “And neither are you.” He glares at Kelly over my head before flinging me to the ground. He gestures at her, waving his outstretched arms in front of his body. “We’re through.” He spits in the dirt as if to seal the deal before marching away.

“Brian, wait!” Kelly runs after him as he stomps out of the garden, nearly tearing the gate off its hinges. “Come back. We can still work this out.” But he’s not even listening. His luggage is already lined up on the curb as he tosses his suitcases into the trunk, shutting it with a loud bang. She’s pleading with him hysterically, but he gets behind the wheel and guns the engine to drown out her protests. He peals away, leaving her standing on the sidewalk with tears streaming down her face.

Pitifully, she spins around, clutching her stomach and dragging the grass-stained hem of her dress. “Adam, what am I going to do? He won’t even talk to me.” She’s so distraught. I can’t help it. My heart goes out to her.

I lead her to the porch. Hours ago, it’s where I kissed her cousin, and I cringe to think that Katie’s no longer speaking to me. I lower Kelly onto the cushion of a comfortable recliner. She thanks me with her eyes as I position her out of the relentless sun. She’s sweating through her big, fluffy dress. She should really go inside and get some rest, but there are too many things we have to straighten out first.

“I think it’s over between the two of you,” I state bluntly. “I know my brother and he’s not going to change his mind.”

“But, Adam, I have nowhere to go, and with the baby due soon…” She gives in to her emotions, bending her head as her crying intensifies.

“Listen, I realize it’s not good for either one of us…” I pause. “But why don’t you come stay with me for a while?” I certainly don’t want her there, but what else can I do? She’s carrying my child. It’s my duty to step in and help her out. There’s no way she’s going to give birth homeless and alone.

“But my doctor’s in Philadelphia…” Her eyes light up at my suggestion, even though she throws out some random excuse.

“So? There are doctors where I live, too.” I can’t believe I’m encouraging her.

“And what about my stuff?” She wrinkles her brow, and I exhale audibly. Women are so high maintenance.

“I’ll rent a truck and get it from Brian’s after he cools down. Whatever you don’t need I’ll put in storage. Since I’m out of work for the foreseeable future, I have nothing better to do with my time.” I grimace, remembering the shitload of problems that await me when I get back. “But are you sure you don’t want to mention it to your parents first? Maybe they’ll want you to stay with them.”

“After they just lost every penny they sank into this miserable wedding? I don’t think so. They’re not going to be very receptive to taking me in. Besides, there’s something else I have to ask you.” She shuffles in her seat, gathering her courage to tell me something I most likely don’t want to hear.

“What?” I ask flatly.

“What would you say to having Katie come stay with us, too?” She raises her eyebrows, no doubt expecting me to explode. She hurries on. “I’m going to need all the help I can get, and I’ll be sure to pay our portion of the rent. Hell, I’ll pay the whole damn thing if you want.”

“Kelly, are you out of your mind?” I can’t even go there, imagining waking up to Katie’s face every morning. It doesn’t matter. She probably hates me right now—and with good reason.

“Adam, how else are you going to make it up to her? My uncle is like a pit bull. He’ll never let you within ten feet of his house. This way, if we say it’s for my benefit and conveniently exclude your involvement, I’ll pretend that I got a place of my own. We can turn this situation around and make it work…for all of us.” Her logic is flawed, but her enthusiasm is starting to win me over. Despite how much I love the idea of Katie staying in my apartment, I can’t let Kelly railroad me into something that might blow up in my face.

“So why don’t you get your own place then? Why drag me into it?” Her smile falters for a moment, and my stomach drops. She’s lying again. I can feel it.

“Because you’re the father of my baby, Adam, and you deserve to be a part of his life.” She guides my hand onto her belly as a ray of sunlight shines through the shades surrounding the porch. It lands directly on my fingertips as I trace tiny circles across Kelly’s stomach. She’s right. I can’t walk away now.

Clearing my throat, I cautiously search her expression for any clues that she might be leading me into danger. “So how are we going to approach Katie about this?”

She breaks into a grin so wide I can’t resist smiling back.