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Authors: Unknown
And she had never felt so alone. There was no one she could talk to of her confusion and
doubts, no friend in front of whom she could lay her problems and have them dealt with
sympathetic objectivity; only Francis Grayson, who could twist every situation to his
own advantage, who played with words and destroyed her peace of mind.
With a sigh, she determined to thrust her doubts about him aside. After all, there had to
be some attractive aspects to the man, to make Louise fall for him thirteen years before.
He must know how to use them to the fullest extent. It was a very, very clever man who
showed her his best in order to get from her what he wanted. What she was seeing was
nothing more than pretty packaging wrapped around a soiled core.
'Fine feathers do not make a tasty bird,' she said aloud to a bluejay that had just perched
outside in the bush. As if in answer, it shook its gaudy head, cawed raucously and flew
away.
Pity, she thought belatedly. That was what had been in Francis's eyes.
CHAPTER THREE
FRANCIS was at it again. Chopping wood.
It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon, the kind which, out in normality, people shared
with their children and pets. The parks in New York would be full with icecream
vendors and hot-dog stands. On a day like today at home, Kirstie would be washing her
car or helping Louise pack the rest of her things preparatory to moving out of the small
house which had once been their parents' and which they now shared.
Francis showed absolutely no intention of leaving, which she thought was very
unreasonable of him. The rest of Saturday had been hideously uneventful. Since there
was always a large stack of paperbacks kept at the cabin, which was updated whenever
any visiting member of the family thought about replenishing the stock, she had read
throughout the afternoon. And Francis had chopped wood.
In spite of the sinuous flow of muscles that proclaimed him innately athletic, he was
awkward about it. And that evening, when Kirstie had shouted brusquely out of the door
that dinner was ready, he had handled his silverware with evident clumsiness, so he must
be bearing a good many blisters.
Kirstie twisted restlessly on to her stomach on the rather shabby, comfortable settee. Her
thoughts wouldn't let her settle to any one thing, and attempting to read the dog-eared
thriller she clutched in one hand was quite useless.
There were two kinds of men in Kirstie's life. Her grandfather, Whit, her brothers Paul
and Christian— even Neil fitted into the solid, predictable mould. She knew what to
expect from the men in her family, knew them so well she could even rely on their weak
points. They were comforting in their stability, and their loyalty to both family and close
associates was without doubt.
Once she had learned through personal experience about the other kind of men, they too
became predictable. They had an innate falsehood built into their make-up, one so
pervasive it could take months to discover what was really truth and what wasn't, for
they lied even to themselves.
They presented themselves so often in the light of what they would like to be, not how
they really were. They built their own self-image up so assiduously that the fiction
became solidified into memory.
Her first serious relationship was with one such man. She had fallen so deeply in love
with the way he had portrayed himself that the breakdown of her faith and trust in him
was a slow crumbling agony. Each little lie was a betrayal, each promise hollow. He
would agree to something on principle and believe himself to be honest, but when she
would confront him with the full force of her open candour he couldn't cope. He couldn't
meet her face to face, and every time would back away.
Kirstie had come to view men of that calibre with a mixture of exasperation and
compassion, for she had no doubt that what they did stemmed from insecurity, the need
to be respected, the need to be loved.
But now she was faced with a quandary, for Francis did not fit into either category. If
Louise was right, he was capable of a deception that went far beyond mere self-
protection. It was a disturbing possibility, for the detail and consistency of his lies hinted
at a love of mischief for mischief's sake. She feared the man might be totally heartless.
If—just for the sake of argument—her sister was wrong, everything Francis had done
might indicate that he was indeed willing to be honest and open. He certainly seemed to
refuse to paint himself into a romantic self-delusion. He could discuss his faults with a
ruthless objectivity but he was so damned unpredictable, Kirstie never could tell for
certain which way the man would jump.
And the sneaking suspicion, fuelled by the accuracy of his argument from yesterday's
conversation, crept up on her that somewhere along the line he had managed to get
streets ahead of her. She thought she was being manipulated. She hated to think she was
being read like a book. And above all she dreaded finding that she was completely
wrong about him, for it cast all sorts of unsavoury speculation on her sister, whom she
had loved since early childhood.
Every pursuit of thought led to a dead end. There was no way out of the maze, but still
she ran, faster and faster until she felt as if she'd gone into a flat spin.
And, throughout it all, Francis just kept chopping. The sound was a bit like listening to a
leaky tap. Thunk, thunk, thunk. It drove her crazy with its incessantness, its lack of
purpose. There was a mini-mountain of split wood behind the cabin already, and besides,
Francis couldn't be feeling the urge to do any favours, not after yesterday.
Thunk, thunk. . .
Kirstie sat bolt upright. In the sudden silence, lounging supine on the old comfortable
settee seemed a horribly vulnerable position in which to be caught. She was just in time,
for the sturdy screen door was thrown open and Francis strode in.
He didn't spare her a glance, however. Kirstie's untidy head swivelled to follow his
frowning progress down the tiny hall and into the bathroom. The door slammed shut.
She heaved a great sigh, and her eyes travelled back to her book. Something would have
to be settled between them, for this silence was unbearable. There weren't any rules, any
guidelines one could count on, just this frigid stalemate where one couldn't make a move
without the other's consent.
Almost immediately the door to the bathroom swung open again. She looked up as
Francis stalked towards the settee and stopped dead in front of her, still wearing that
preoccupied, serious frown. Instinctively she knew that this was it, decision time.
Evidently he had, by his own route of thinking and priorities, come to the same
conclusions she had.
'Got any tweezers?' Francis asked.
'What?' Thrown off balance by the odd request, she blinked owlishly at him.
'I said, have you got any tweezers? I've got a splinter in the heel of my hand, and it hurts
like the devil.' Impatience flitted across his face. Irrelevantly she noticed that he was
already getting tanned by his two days out in the sun. It suited him, that flush of healthy
brown crowning his strong nose and cheekbones, the bare, straight shoulders, the tight
ripple of muscle that played like an accordion down the front of his torso.
'Oh, for heaven's sake,' she muttered, as much to herself as to him. She pushed off the
settee in one smooth uncoiling move. 'I doubt it, but hold on a minute. Let me check my
bedroom.'
She had meant for him to wait in the living-room but, much to the detriment of her
composure, he followed close behind. The knowledge that he was looking over her
shoulder as she entered her small bedroom and searched the dresser drawers made her
clumsy. As a result, when she turned back to face him, she was shorter with him than she
might otherwise have been.
'No luck.' Her gaze collided with his, bounced away. He stood blocking the doorway,
with large arms folded across his bare chest as if he had nowhere else in the world to go.
Kirstie made a tentative movement towards him as if she would have liked to walk right
through him, or butt him out of the way, but he didn't budge. 'Look,' she suggested
tightly, wild to get him away from her bedroom, to break that even, emerald stare, 'why
don't you go soak your hand in water, or something?'
He shook his head, without moving, still watching her. 'Wouldn't work. The splinter's too
big.'
'Well, what do you expect me to do about it?' As soon as she had snapped the question
she could see how inappropriate her testiness was, and those sleek black brows of his
rose in delicate reaction. 'I'm sorry, ignore that. Why don't you let me have a look at it?
Since I can use both my hands, I might be able to get at it more easily.'
Silently, like a little boy, he stuck out his hand palm upwards. Kirstie was forced by her
offer of help to step nearer, but all awareness of his half-clad body faded as she focused
on the raw mess that was his hand.
'Oh, God,' she muttered with a wince. Three large blisters had formed at the base of his
long, dextrous fingers. Two had already burst, and the third was an angry, abused red.
Without thinking, she curled her smaller hand around his sturdy wrist. Her fingers could
only come part-way around it. 'Why are you doing this to yourself?'
His skin was warm, but his voice was not. 'It's called,' said Francis succinctly,
'sublimation. Better to take my frustrations out on the chopping block than to throttle the
only helicopter pilot in this neck of the woods.'
Kirstie refused to look up and meet that intent green stare she could feel was boring into
the top of her head. 'You could just leave, you know,' she replied, the audible glaciers in
her voice expressing her displeasure at his presence.
'What, and miss such a charming house-party?' She hated the mockery in that, and her
telltale fingers clenched around his wrist until the bone was a fleshless ivory. His free
hand came up, cupping her chin and tilting it up. 'Besides, I don't fancy a six-day walk,'
he told her closed, tight face. 'I'd far rather hitch a ride.'
Her grey eyes flashed. 'Don't hedge your bets, Francis. We're a long way from that one.'
His expression never wavered. He just absorbed her aggression as he had ever since they
had reached Vermont, and Kirstie felt as if she were throwing herself, body and soul,
against the granite side of a mountain. 'That is something I want to talk to you about.'
'You can talk all you like,' she told him, baring her teeth in a humourless smile. His
touch on her vulnerable facial skin was unbearable, and she jerked her head away. 'It
won't change anything.'
One side of his mouth twisted. 'Don't you think you'd better wait until you hear what I
have to say before you make such sweeping statements? I thought better of you than
that.'
He
thought better of
her!
What new ploy was this? Her own cynicism showed in her
face, pulling the precise features into an older, jaded expression that didn't suit their
delicacy. 'What a marvellous transition from Friday, when you thought me despicable.
And you had sounded so sure of yourself,' she told him. He didn't just look at her. He
smiled. 'Do we try to get that splinter out,' she snapped, 'or not?'
He stepped to one side and bowed her ahead of him. Gritting her teeth, she pushed past.
She couldn't help but notice how her sleeveless shoulder grazed lightly along his chest.
He was warm and smelled of sunshine and sweat.
In the strong kitchen light, she inspected the splinter embedded in Francis's hand. It was
indeed a large one, an alien splice through the whorling pattern of his handprint. The
area around the puncture had already begun to swell. It must be quite painful, and,
unknown to her, Kirstie's forehead wrinkled as she stared at it.
Francis was watching what he could see of her downbent face, and that male gaze grew
sharp with conviction. 'You have such a nerve,' he said.
The unexpectedness of it was like an attack. It shot past all her barriers and hit inside,
and Kirstie's head snapped up as she took a step back from him in shock. Francis
advanced; now he was the aggressor with a new, inexplicable anger, and the recognition
of just how big he was barrelled through her all over again. She retreated until her back
was pressed against an unyielding kitchen counter, her mind pounding with
disconcertment, incomprehension.
'Pain!' Francis drove the word at her, and he thrust his open palm under her nose. 'You
don't like it, in anyone! It's written all over your face! How the hell did you pull last
Friday off?'
She stared at him, with her eyes huge and dark, a reflection of the conflicting emotions
heaving inside.
Quietly she said, 'It wasn't that difficult. You saw what you expected to see.'
'Oh, Kirstie,' he whispered, and the warning in it twisted her own words on her like a
knife. Her mouth tightened with the unhappy pain of it, and she jerked his hand down to