Hurricane Force (A Miss Fortune Mystery Book 7) (10 page)

“There’s twelve in this tray,” Ally said. “And then, of course, everything that we haven’t cooked.”

“I think twelve will tide us over until tomorrow,” I said. I slid Gertie’s car keys over to her and grabbed a stack of trays. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

We piled everything into the backseat of Gertie’s Cadillac and headed for downtown. We were halfway there when Gertie’s cell phone went off.

“Crap,” Gertie said. “It’s Marie. Deputy Breaux just left on patrol.”

“He’s early,” Ida Belle said. “How long have the patrols taken?”

“About thirty minutes,” Gertie said. “We need to hurry.”
 

Chapter Seven

Gertie slammed her foot down on the gas pedal and the car lurched forward. I scrambled to grab the stacks of trays before they fell onto the floorboard. “A little warning next time,” I said.

“Sorry,” Gertie said. “Sharp turn!”

I leaned over the trays as if I were protecting a small child from a bear attack as Gertie wheeled the car around the corner.
 

“Slow down, you old fool,” Ida Belle yelled. “This won’t work if we don’t have hamburgers to bring to the sheriff’s department.”

Gertie let up on the gas a tiny bit and made the final turn onto Main Street. I relinquished my protective position and looked between the seats and down the street. A handful of people were picking up debris on the street and sidewalks and waved as we pulled up. I recognized a couple of them from the night before at the church and figured they must be some of the people who couldn’t return home yet.
 

“Looks like they’ve organized a bit of a cleanup,” Ida Belle said.

“They probably got tired of sitting on those uncomfortable pews,” I said.

“Pastor Don got back in town today,” Gertie said. “He started preaching about three hours ago and hasn’t let up since.”

“I hope he stops before tonight,” I said, “or they’ll be sleeping outside with the mosquitoes.”

Ida Belle nodded. “Let’s sneak these in and hope he doesn’t see us.”

“I’ve got a better idea,” Gertie said, “and it will save us some time.” She climbed out of the car and whistled. “We’ve got burgers here. Come grab a tray and take them to the churches.”

Everyone stopped what they were doing and hurried for the car. I passed out hamburger trays like a dealer at a blackjack table, and a couple minutes later, everything was gone except the tray for the sheriff’s department.
 

“Time?” I asked as I grabbed the last tray and we hurried for the sheriff’s department.
 

“Fifteen minutes since he left on patrol,” Gertie said.

“Then we’ve got fifteen minutes, give or take, to get this done,” Ida Belle said.

“I still say the feminine wiles thing would work faster,” Gertie said.

“Not if Fortune’s the one executing,” Ida Belle said.
 

I suppose I could have been insulted, but there wasn’t really any point given that she was right. “Just get the information and don’t get caught.”

“Stop worrying,” Gertie said. “We’ve got this.”

I wish I felt as confident as Gertie sounded, but I had some experience with executing plans with Ida Belle and Gertie. The only thing consistent is that they never went the way we intended.

I pushed open the door to the sheriff’s department and stepped inside. Carter was sitting at the front desk, as predicted, and gave me a weary smile. “Hard day?” I asked.

He lifted up a stack of paper about an inch high. “Four missing persons reports. Three vandalism reports. Five burglaries, and eighteen reports of missing cats.”

“That’s a lot of missing cats,” I said, glad that Ida Belle and Gertie had insisted on caging Merlin and taking him to church with us. He may be pissed now, but he’d thank me later. Or not. He was a cat.

Carter laughed. “I see where your priorities lie.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling a bit dismayed at my callousness.

“Stop ribbing her,” Ida Belle said. “You know good and well those four people aren’t missing. I bet I can tell you who they are.” She rattled off the names of four men.

Carter nodded. “Got every one of them. You win the big prize.”

“I don’t get it,” I said.

“Those four are drinking buddies,” Gertie said. “They also happen to be married to four of the most difficult women in Sinful, excluding Celia of course. Every time there’s a big storm, they pretend they’re going round to help people and then ‘accidentally’ get caught in the storm.”

“So where are they really?”

“Probably sitting at a motel up the highway,” Gertie said, “drinking beer and watching all the HBO they want in peace in quiet. They’ll turn up tomorrow with some story about being stranded while helping a fisherman or a tourist or saving a family of squirrels, and everyone will be happy.”

I tried to fathom choosing a life that required a hurricane moving in for me to be happy but couldn’t make the leap. Besides, we had work to do.
 

“I came bearing gifts,” I said and put the tray on top of the stack of paperwork.

He lifted the end of it and sniffed. “That smells delicious.” He looked at Gertie. “Did you run over a cow again?”

Gertie threw her hands in the air. “Why can’t I just be a meat hoarder? Why does everyone assume I killed something?” She pointed at Ida Belle. “Don’t answer that.”

Carter grinned. “If you guys don’t mind, I’m going to start on one of these right now.”

“Feel free,” I said. “We’ve been working on them all afternoon and kinda got enough by smell. But then, we had chips and dip and apple pie to snack on while we were working.”

“You’re killing me, Smalls,” Carter said.
 

“I don’t get it,” I said.

“
Sandlot
reference,” Gertie said and clapped. “As soon as the power is back on, we’ll watch it. I love that movie.”

Carter plopped a hamburger patty on a bun. While his gaze was directed down at the food, I poked Gertie in the ribs. We were running out of time.

“I need to use your restroom,” Gertie said. “Do you have water jugs in there?”

Carter took a big bite of the burger and nodded.
 

Gertie set off down the hall. Ida Belle hesitated a couple seconds. “I better go too. Last time Gertie had to pour water into a toilet tank, there was an incident.” She took off after Gertie, Carter and I staring after them.

“I don’t even want to know,” I said. “Especially since they’re bunking with me tonight.”

“Did they have damage?” he asked.

“No. Ida Belle just figured we’d consolidate gas use on one generator and at least get to run a fan inside.”

He nodded. “I wish I knew how long power would be out. I’d kill for a fan right now.”

I pulled my T-shirt from my chest, where it was clinging. “I can imagine. This building is super hot compared to my house.”

“No north-south windows. I can’t get a good draw through here, and then with the humidity from the rain, it’s awful.”

“If it doesn’t come on in a day or two, I imagine we’ll relocate until it does. Assuming we can find a hotel, of course.”

“You might have to go a ways north, but bet your butt I would if I wasn’t stuck here. Roads should be completely clear by tomorrow.”

My cell phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my pocket, figuring it was Harrison. It wasn’t. It was Ida Belle.

Max’s info isn’t on his desk. Must be up front.

Crap. I couldn’t exactly start sorting through his paperwork with him sitting there.
 

Create a diversion. Then I’ll check the desk.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

“What? Oh, no. It’s Ally,” I lied. “She’s finishing making up the last of the hamburger patties and wants to know if she should heat up some pastries for dessert.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Carter said.

“Sorry. If I’d known she had frozen pastries, I would have brought some with me. So I hear Celia pulled a disappearing act.”

Carter sighed. “Where did you hear that?”

“It’s all over town.”

“Of course it is.”

“So are you looking for her?”

“I don’t have to look for her,” Carter said. “She’s hiding at her friend Freda’s house, and since Freda didn’t want to be accused of harboring a felon, she called and ratted Celia out.”

“With friends like those…”

“I should go arrest her on principle, but I don’t want to listen to her mouth all night. I figure Freda deserves it more.”

“Definitely.” I glanced down the hall, wondering what the hell was taking them so long. Deputy Breaux would be back any minute and we hadn’t found out anything. I was just about to ask him for a roll of paper towels or something equally inane when I heard a yelp from the back of the building. Then Ida Belle came running back up front.
 

“Gertie’s locked in the bathroom,” Ida Belle said, “and the door is jammed.”

“What?” Carter rose from the desk. “I just replaced that hardware a couple months ago.”

“Come take a look before she panics.”

Gertie started yelling and banging on the door. “I’ve got the claustrophobia. I can’t breathe.”

“Too late,” Ida Belle said and took off down the hall again.

Carter dropped his burger and set off after Ida Belle. I ran around the desk and started shuffling files as quickly as I could. Burglary, assault, gaming violation…Max Arceneaux!

I opened the file and started reading. The cause of death was two shotgun blasts, as expected, but given the weather and lack of air-conditioning, the medical examiner hadn’t been able to narrow time of death very well. His best guess was a window from yesterday evening until around 1 a.m. I flipped the page over and saw a copy of a driver’s license that had Max’s picture on it but a different name.
 

Thomas Johnson.
 

I made a mental note of the address and license number and flipped that page over. The last thing in the file was a plastic bag with money in it. My pulse quickened. It was hundred-dollar bills. I leaned over to get a better look, but without a magnifying glass, I couldn’t be certain the bills were fakes.
 

I shoved the file back where I’d found it and was about to hop up when I saw another file peeking out from the stack. It was labeled simply “Money.” I pulled it out and was just about to start reading when I heard commotion down the hall.

“I’m fading out!” Gertie yelled. “Tell my mother I love her.”

“Your mother died thirty years ago,” Ida Belle yelled back. “Pull on the damned door.”

“Back up, Gertie,” Carter said. “I’m breaking it down.”

I cringed and scanned the file.
 

I heard a loud crash. Then Gertie scream. Then Carter cursing.

I shoved the file back where I’d gotten it from and went running down the hall. Ida Belle was standing outside the now-open door to the restroom, shaking her head.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Gertie,” Ida Belle said and pointed.

I took one hesitant step forward and peered into the restroom. Gertie was splayed out on the floor against the back wall, pinned into place by the toilet, which had taken leave of its normal spot and was lying on its side, water dripping out of the tank. Carter was pushing himself up from the top of the toilet and glared down at Gertie.
 

“Why didn’t you tell me the door had come loose?” he asked.

“It was too late,” Gertie said. “I barely had time to get out of the way. Get this thing off of me.”

“I ought to leave you there for a couple hours,” Carter said. “Give all of Sinful a break from your brand of terror.”

“I take it the door came loose before Carter tackled it?” I asked.

Ida Belle leaned toward me and whispered, “It was never stuck. Gertie was pushing against it.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head, a clear visual of what had happened running through my mind. “So the door flew open and Carter stumbled in and tackled the toilet.”

“Pretty much.”

I watched as Carter pulled the toilet off Gertie and helped her up. “Do you have any idea of the debt we owe to that man for the crap we put him through?” I asked.

“Let’s just hope he never collects.”

Carter headed back to the door, his expression a mixture of frustration and exhaustion. He checked the lock and the doorjamb, then closed and opened the door several times. “It’s working fine,” he said.

“Oh,” Gertie said, looking guilty. “Maybe I was pushing instead of pulling.”

Carter threw his hands in the air and headed down the hall, apparently too mad to even speak.
 

“I hope those burgers are spectacular,” I said.
 

“This is all your fault,” Gertie said. “And I was improvising. If you could do the whole girlie thing, that stunt with the door wouldn’t have been necessary.”