Hungry for Love (5 page)

Thinking about the incident this morning and Candy
’
s comments
,
he felt disturbed and was flipping through the photo archive on his laptop.  There were many pictures of him with Chrissy and the kids.  They were walking and laughing and playing and there she was
,
this pretty girl with red hair in a pixie cut.  Her smile was bright and so endearing.  There she was with Candy beside her
,
reading a book.  There she was with Will
,
building something out of Legos.  And then he played a video they
’
d made at the beach one day.

They were all seated on a blanket eating sandwiches and enjoying the day.  There Bill was
,
so strange always to see himself
,
not bad he always thought
,
but he knew it was better than that
,
even if he was on the wrong side of forty
,
his hair gray
,
ok prematurely gray
,
but only at the sides
,
and his face still angular and nicely chiseled.  What a catch
,
he thought
,
laughing briefly
,
then again the kids were moving and laughing and Chrissy was talking with them and unwrapping more sandwiches and some carrot sticks
,
and everyone was having a lovely time.  That was the day he
’
d asked her to move in with them
,
more than a year ago.  They were all so happy and it all seemed as though life was back on track.

Bill had to believe that things would be all right
,
that despite her current odd behavior
,
Chrissy was who she
’
d seemed to be when first they met
,
the girl who fit right in as part of the family.  Maybe she just needed something
,
more assurance or something he could provide
,
and he would provide it.  But today he
’
d have to discuss the Slimfast with Chrissy
,
so he dialed his home number.  He would make the kids breakfast from now on.  And either give them money or make their lunches
,
which he should have been doing all along.  Was she still running
?
While listening to the phone repeatedly ring
,
he removed a partially eaten candy bar from his desk drawer and nibbled discretely on it.

Chrissy tried to yank the gloves off her hands but somehow they seemed to be stuck.  She grabbed the phone and tried to push the button but she couldn
’
t manage it with the gloves on.  Finally she held the phone to her lips and pressed the green button with her tongue.

“
Hello
?”
she said hastily
,
sounding out of breath and frustrated.  She listened to what Bill was saying with a baffled look on her face. 
“
I don
’
t see why—what could be more nutritious
?”
  She kept fumbling and yanking on her gloves and finally got them off with a grimace and a shrug.  Reaching for the remote
,
she set the TV on mute
,
and turned on her kickboxing DVD so she could continue while talking to Bill.

“
Okay
,
okay
,”
she said
,
“
Of course I know they
’
re children.  What else would they be
?
Midgets
?”
  Then sighing complacently
,
she said
,
“
You win.  No more Slimfast.  Coming home on time tonight
?”

Bill casually fiddled with the candy bar wrapper
,
which he had folded into a ring and was trying on his left hand. 
“
I have that game tonight with Will
,
remember
?
  Why don
’
t you and Candy come to cheer us on
?
  We can go out for dinner after.  It
’
ll be fun.
”

“
Eat out
?”
she asked
,
sounding as though he
’
d said something remarkably cruel.  Chrissy amped up her kicks to match and exceed those of the group working out on the DVD. 
“
So what about the Koush Koush
?”
she asked.

Bill shook his head as a resigned look crossed his face—they
’
d had this conversation too many times before. 
“
The FDA is never going to approve that drug
,
hon
,
I told you.  Besides it
’
s only for the most severely overweight.
”

Kicking and lurching even more deeply
,
Chrissy was adamant
,
“
I need it.
”

Bill swirled around in his chair
,
gazing helplessly out the window but there was nothing distracting enough to claim his attention. 
“
Horses died on that drug during trials in
India
.
”

Chrissy scowled.  She just had to let him know she was determined
,
make him understand that she was doing all this for him.  What was wrong with Bill
,
anyway
?
  He should want her to have it
,
not be there like some giant road block in her way. 
“
I
’
m aiming for zero body fat. I can
’
t do it without Koush Koush.
”

“
Starvation victims have more body fat than that.
”

Chrissy stopped kicking and lurching briefly as she considered what he was saying.  Her voice grew mournful and she sounded almost terrified. 
“
Oh God
,
could you imagine that—what if you died and still had cravings—and no body.
”
  She held the phone out away from her and looked down at herself
,
then resumed talking. 
“
No mouth.
”

Bill patiently attempted to provide assurance although inside the frustration mounted
,
“
Now stop worrying—I mean it.  Since you
’
ve been on this diet
,
you haven
’
t been yourself—I
’
m starting to worry about you.  You don
’
t need….
”

Chrissy looked up to see Will walking into the den
,
eyeing her suspiciously and changing the TV to one of his shows. 
“
I
’
ll go to
India
to get it if I have to.  Oh—Wally
’
s here.
”

Bill shook his head again. 
“
Hon it
’
s Will not Wally.  It hurts their feelings when you get their names wrong after all this time.  Listen—a diet drug out of
India
is not something you should mess with.  Have you been taking any diet meds I don
’
t know about
?”
  Opening the center drawer of his desk
,
he removed a picture of JoEllen and gazed at it lovingly.

Will glanced toward Chrissy and precociously gave her the sort of look of disgust most teens display often and said scornfully
,
“
You mean WILL!  William Masters JUNIOR
,
remember
?”

Kevin had been having an excellent day.  Now
,
taking a little break
,
he sat at his desk as Nurse Caryn bent over the stack of journals on the floor in his office.  Bill was a fool keeping all his periodicals on a shelf.  He waited long enough and then slunk over to where she was standing
,
and spooning himself behind her
,
he squeezed her breasts
,
causing her to giggle.  What a great woman.  She was the perfect woman
,
the perfect nurse and Kevin was happy she was there when he needed to let off some steam.  Envisioning another quickie in the closet
,
he almost didn
’
t hear the movement by the door.  When Bill entered
,
they jumped quickly apart and he was fairly sure Bill
,
who was pretty much a zombie these days
,
didn
’
t catch on.  Caryn exited the office with a sweet little wink in his direction as Bill slumped down in the chair in front of his desk.

“
You think maybe I could ask Laura to help me plan a party for Chrissy
’
s birthday
?
  She
’
s not exactly Chrissy
’
s fan.
”