How to Handle a Scandal (21 page)

“I’m fine,” Eliza said. “But I lost the baby.”

“Oh, dearest.” Meg pulled her into an embrace. “I’m so sorry. What a terrible disappointment for you, even if the baby was the reason you had to get married.”

“Yes,” was all Eliza could manage as huskiness crept into her voice.

“And Tommy?”

“He’s been very good to me since the miscarriage. And,” Eliza continued, “perhaps there may be a baby after all.”

“So it’s not a marriage of convenience! I knew it! Didn’t I say there would still be something between you two?”

“It’s not exactly like that.”

Meg’s intelligent brown eyes settled on her. “What’s it like then?”

“We’ve come to an understanding.”

“Then he is staying in England?”

Eliza shook her head. “He’ll go back to India at the end of next month.”

“Alone?”

Eliza nodded.

“What exactly will that mean for you?” Meg’s eyes narrowed. “You care for him, don’t you? You care for him and he doesn’t care for you. He’s just going to do exactly as he pleases and abandon you.”

“He’s
not
abandoning me. He’s simply going to go back to the life he was living before we married, just as I’m going to try to do.” She tried for a smile. “Though considering how things at Truehart Manor have fallen apart, I’m not certain what the future holds.”

Meg squeezed her hand. “Now isn’t the time for you to be worrying about that. You need to focus on your marriage. Couldn’t you make it work?”

“Even if I were tempted by Tommy,” Eliza said, not wanting to admit even to Meg how much more than tempted she was, “how could I want to be with a man who’s got his sights so clearly set elsewhere? I would be a fool, and you know I’m no fool.”

“Being foolish or smart has nothing do with matters of the heart, as my mother demonstrated countless times. She was brilliant, and she repeatedly entangled herself with the most unsuitable men.” Meg sighed. “It says something about Tommy that he’s taken on such daring, difficult tasks in India. Clearly he doesn’t want to be just the younger brother of a viscount.”

“I know.” Eliza had to respect him for making his own way in the world, even if that meant that he didn’t see how such a thing could be accomplished in familiar old England. She looked away as emotion tugged at her mouth. Her feelings for Tommy ran deep, but she was doing her best not to let them overtake her, and talking about them with Meg would only make them feel more real.

“All will be fine, really,” she said firmly.

“If you say so,” Meg said, sounding unconvinced.

“So, how was the journey here?”

Meg groaned. “You know I am fond of Ruby, and Marcus is amusing, though of course he’s only fourteen. But Susanna Holley is completely pleased with herself, which is a quality that is never desirable in a companion. Though she
is
thirteen, which was certainly not
my
best age.”

Eliza shuddered. “Nor mine.”

“But can you believe that Gildenhall rode with us for the whole journey? Five in a coach, and as the two tallest, he and I had to share a seat while the other three squeezed onto the opposite bench. So I had to endure his company the whole time.”

“You were hoping he’d ride alongside?”

“Of course! You know I have never cared for him, and I don’t see how he could have failed to notice, either. He is always so secretly mocking.”

Meg considered Louie the very worst rake in the
ton
and deserving of no respect whatsoever, and clearly the hours spent together in the carriage hadn’t improved her opinion. Louie seemed always to take Meg’s stiff manner and silences in stride, though Eliza was certain that she’d caught him hiding a smile on several occasions. In truth, she sometimes wondered if there weren’t some interesting undercurrents below the surface of Meg and Louie’s non-relationship.

“If it’s secretly done, how do you know he’s mocking you?”

“You know what I mean—it’s all very subtle, but whenever I’m with him, I’m certain he’s enjoying himself at my expense. It’s a struggle to be polite to such a man.”

Eliza hid a smile. The Earl of Gildenhall was handsome, wealthy, charming, and one of the most sought-after gentlemen in the
ton
, and she doubted there was another woman in England who would have termed it a struggle to be polite to him. Though it was true that there was something of a cloud hovering over him of late; he’d fought a duel two months before with Viscount Marwich, a contest in which Marwich had lost an arm.

The duel had apparently had something to do with a woman, but there were only rumors and conjectures. Eliza had never liked Marwich, so she was inclined to believe that Louie had had a good reason to shoot him, but still, he’d maimed a fellow peer.

“Well, now that you’re here and there are so many other people present, I hope it won’t be too much of a trial to share a house with the earl,” Eliza said, trying for a serious tone.

Meg gave her a look, but it was tinged with a hint of mirth. “Don’t think I don’t know you’re laughing at me. And now that the earl is your cousin by marriage, you will doubtless feel you must champion him.” She sighed heavily. “I shall try to do my best to be civil to him while I’m here.”

Eliza laughed and hugged her. “You are the dearest creature,” she told Meg. “What better wedding present could I have than a promise that you’ll try to be pleasant to my new relations?”

Meg stuck her nose in the air. “I said
civil
. I didn’t say I’d go as far as pleasant.”

They collapsed in giggles.

Though Tommy had insisted that their guests could perfectly well eat lunch amid what Eliza called “the daytime dreariness of the Hellfire dining room,” she was grateful for the fine weather that allowed them to eat in the garden, which was now being called “the wilds” thanks to Louie. He’d taken one look at the rioting vegetation, scraggly trees, and patches of bare dirt studded with rocks, and said, “You can’t seriously call this a garden, Tommy.”

“It just needs a little work,” Anna said charitably as she and Eliza finished arranging the food and drinks on the large cloth that Louie had spread for them on one of the flatter sections of ground behind the manor.

Louie had guffawed. “It needs more than a
little
work. It needs someone to put a torch to it so you can start afresh.”

Rex and Marcus, lingering at the edge of the group, seemed to think that idea was hilarious.

“I like this place,” Heck had said.

Louie had grinned. “So do I, actually. Everyone has gardens. Tommy and Eliza have a wild land.”

The day was warm for October, with a clear blue sky and plenty of sunshine, though it was still cool enough that the cups of hot tea served with the meat pasties and custard tarts were most welcome. The adults lounged comfortably propped up on their elbows or leaning against the odd rock and chatted as they watched the young people, who eventually began poking aimlessly about in the back of the wilds. Rex and Marcus kicked at bushes and trees, as though challenging them to turn into something more interesting.

“I suppose they’re trying not to look like they’re searching for signs of anything the pirates might have left or buried,” Meg said as she selected a pasty. Tommy had casually let slip to the children that from what he understood, things had been buried on the grounds.

“Marcus and Rex probably consider themselves too old for such things,” Ruby said. As usual, she was wearing red, a pretty garnet gown that was far too fashionable for such a setting, but for some reason, Eliza thought, Ruby Halifax never looked overdressed. She supposed this had something to do with the confident tilt of her chin.

“True,” her brother said, “though I saw Marcus’s eyes light up at the mention of the dungeon.”

“Vic seems quite taken with Susanna,” Eliza said. The little girl trailed after the older one as intently as a duckling after a mother duck, leaning close to peer at the ground wherever Susanna stopped to prod things with her feet.

Anna nodded. “Susanna has been sweet to her.”

“Partly that’s kindness,” Ruby observed, “and partly, I suspect, it’s showing off for the older boys.”

“Rex has his own follower as well,” Will said as Heck dropped to his knees next to where Rex had started to clear some underbrush. “Heck’s been fascinated with India ever since Tommy came back and gave him a scimitar. He seems to think Rex is the luckiest boy ever, growing up in a land with tigers and elephants and full of men who are…” He flicked a glance at his brother.

“Don’t say it,” Tommy warned.

“Swashbuckling,” Will finished with a grin.

Tommy tossed an apple core at him, which Will dodged, laughing.

A shout went up; apparently Vic had stumbled on something near the base of a rotting tree.

Louie squinted. “What is that—the remains of someone your brigands dispatched?”

“They’re some ancient tools I found outside the old garden shed.” Traveler, who’d been sitting beside Tommy, stretched and began making his way across the wilds to investigate. “I thought it might amuse the children to think the pirates left them lying around.”

Eliza, sitting next to Meg, felt her heart squeeze at his thoughtfulness.

“Is there really a dungeon?” asked Meg, who had chosen a spot as far away from Louie as possible. Really, Meg was completely misguided about him, Eliza thought; the man was downright sweet. Hadn’t he brought an extra child with him on holiday to give her a treat and the parents some time on their own?

“There really is,” Tommy said, “but don’t worry, I wouldn’t send anyone down there unless hideously provoked.”

“A competition seems to have broken out,” Will observed as they watched Marcus wield a shovel under a carefully chosen tree. Susanna and Victoria were helping him by clearing the brush from the digging site. Perhaps fifty feet away, Rex was digging in the packed dirt next to a large rock while Heck cleared the loosened clumps.

“I wonder why they decided those particular spots would have to be treasure spots,” Ruby said.

“They’re probably just drunk with power since Tommy told them that if they want to look for buried treasure while they’re here, they may dig anywhere they want in the wilds,” Anna said.

“I like this place,” Meg said, trailing her hand over a rock half-buried in the ground next to her leg. “It’s a pirate’s garden, wild and full of shadowy nooks and rough ground.”

“I wouldn’t have thought you partial to wild things,” Louie said.

She lifted her chin haughtily. “I was speaking of the beauty of nature.”

The corner of his mouth quivered and Meg gave him a dark look.

“Shall we go down to the sea?” Eliza asked. “I’ve been here all this time and not had a minute to visit it.”

The adults all agreed, and they set off, leaving the children to their digging under the watchful eyes of Traveler. The path to the sea was overgrown, hardly more than a suggestion of a once-cleared trail, so the men went first, crushing down the high grass with their booted feet, tossing aside dead limbs, and bending branches to allow the ladies to pass without being scratched.

Tommy took the lead, though as he listened to Eliza laughing with Meg and Anna, who were a little distance behind the men, he wished he were with her, because she was so fun. She was witty and clever, and she kept him on his toes. He’d thought he’d known her years ago, but being with her now felt different.
They
were different.

He thought of the changes she’d made in the house and chuckled, deciding that if Flaming Beard and his brigands could have seen the rose fabric now softening the dining room’s walls, they’d surely have gone on a rampage. Though in a sense, the pirate
could
see the room, since his portrait was now hanging over the fireplace.

“Something amusing you?” Will asked. He was behind Tommy, with Louie at the end.

“Just imagining what Flaming Beard would have thought about the redecoration of Hellfire Hall.”

“I’ll admit I was disappointed that the place is so comfortable,” Louie said. “I was expecting a brigand’s haul of grubby furniture and nasty old mattresses.”

“And you still came?”

“I was willing to surrender comfort in the interest of adventure, or at least the chance to mock your impulsive purchase relentlessly.”

“If you’d come a few days earlier, you’d have gotten your wish, though the furniture wasn’t filthy; Mrs. Hatch is a demon for cleanliness. But it was barren and ugly until Eliza organized a massive redecoration effort.”

Behind them, the ladies stopped to admire a colorful mushroom growing amid the mashed-down grass, but the men kept going, clearing the path further.

“She must have put in a significant effort to make it pleasant,” Will said. “It will be a very fine home.”

“Mmm,” Tommy said vaguely. Will would want to talk about the future, and Tommy didn’t want to have that conversation just then. He didn’t want to have it at all, but considering how responsible and thorough his brother always was, Tommy doubted he’d escape entirely. He could only hope not to be pressed into giving too many details.

“I suppose this is nothing to the wilds of India,” Louie said, crushing a tangled clump of juniper with his boot. “Do you miss it?”

“I do,” Tommy said. “It’s often hellishly hot there, and I don’t miss that so much. But the variety of nature is amazing.”

“Seen any tigers?”

“Several. And snakes enough to kill an army.”

Louie made a face. “I don’t know that I’d miss snakes.”

Tommy laughed. “Very well, I don’t miss the snakes. But the way it’s all so different and exciting—I miss that. England is beautiful, and I love it, too, but the colors are muted, the sights familiar.”

“It’s not as though you’ve been all over England, Tommy,” Will pointed out. “You’ve never been to the Lake District, for one thing, nor Yorkshire, unless I’m mistaken.”

“I’m sure Yorkshire is a marvel to all who love it,” Tommy said, “but it hardly compares to the splendor of the Taj Mahal.”

“The pleasures of England may be more subtle, but they are no less compelling.”

Tommy made no reply. England was lovely, but it was tame. How could he choose that tameness over the life that had fulfilled him for the last six years? He needed excitement. Maybe it wasn’t a very admirable quality, but he knew who he was.

He stepped a little to the side to push a dead branch out of the way and saw that the ladies were closer than he’d thought; they’d simply been quiet. Eliza would have heard what he’d said, but he saw by her face that his talk of preferring India didn’t seem to have bothered her.

Really, being married to her wasn’t going to be bad at all.

Some minutes later they finally broke through the brush and trees, coming almost suddenly to the edge of a cliff that led down to the sea. They stopped in a jumble with nervous laughter as they realized how close some of them had come to pitching right off.

“You almost lost your husband to the sea,” Louie pointed out to Eliza.

“Oh well,” she said, “easy come, easy go.”

Louie gave a bark of laughter, but Tommy noticed that Will didn’t look amused.

“How beautiful,” said Meg, gazing out over the sea, which was calm and mellow gold in the afternoon sunlight.

“Isn’t it?” Tommy said.

They looked at the steep, overgrown path that led to the beach below and disappeared abruptly in a thicket of gorse that clung to the sheer face of the cliff.

“A trip to the beach doesn’t look quite survivable, does it?” Meg said with a hint of disappointment.

“You’ve got your work cut out for you to make the trail passable,” Louie said. “But think of the summers you’ll have, frolicking on the beach and swimming.”

It did sound nice—for the future. Tommy made a noncommittal sound, and they lingered over the view a little longer, then made their way back to the manor.

* * *

Eliza’s and Tommy’s attempt to avoid probing conversations with Anna and Will lasted until just after tea, when they were waylaid by Will, who had slyly waited for the others to seek their chambers.

“Tommy, Eliza,” he said, “do give us a tour of the library.”

“Really, there’s not much to it,” Tommy said. But it was no use, and they were swept into the library, where Anna was poking through the shelves.

“So, how is married life treating you both?” she asked. Although Anna was hardly naive, she was also clearly quite hopeful about Eliza’s and Tommy’s marriage, and Eliza felt an inward slide of guilt.

“Married life is fine.
Very
fine, really,” Eliza said.

“Yes,” Tommy said enthusiastically.

Anna glanced at Will.

“Fine, is it?” he said, and Eliza couldn’t miss the skepticism in his voice. “That’s good to hear of a marriage that was entered into with such haste.” He crossed his arms. “We both want nothing more than to see you two happy, and you certainly seem to get along well. But we’ve noticed the way you shift conversations to avoid any talk of the future. Do tell us about your plans.”

For once, Tommy looked uncomfortable. “We’ve decided it will be best if Eliza stays in England while I return to India for the time being.”

Will’s eyes darkened. “And how long do you expect the ‘time being’ to last?”

“I don’t know for certain. A few years at least.”

Tommy’s words fell into a silence that grew more charged with each passing moment.

Finally Will said, “Eliza? How do you feel about staying in England while your husband deserts you for an indeterminate number of years?”

“I’m not deserting her!” Tommy insisted. “We’ve discussed the possibilities, and this is our plan.”

Eliza forced herself to speak. “It’s really quite all right with me. We’ll see each other again before too long.”

More of the awkward sort of silence Will had always employed so well. She was deathly afraid that another few minutes and she’d break and tell them everything.

“The two of you are newlyweds and you’re planning a major separation?” Will said incredulously. “What about loving and honoring and cherishing? How is that supposed to happen while you’re not even in the same country?”

Tommy’s jaw tightened. “Will, you may not have noticed this, but Eliza and I are all grown up now, and we’re not in need of guidance.”

“I think you are, if this is the choice you’re making. What kind of family will you have, with the two of you apart? What about any children who might come along before Tommy returns?” He gave them a stern look. “You do realize it’s possible, I assume.”

“Good God,” Tommy growled.

Eliza forced a smile. “We would hope that you two would be in their lives, of course, if we should be so blessed.” She wanted to weep with the absurdity of the conversation.

Will looked tense, but Anna put a steadying hand on his arm. “Certainly we would be part of your children’s lives. But with Tommy leaving, and so soon, children seem a little beside the point. If he really must return to India, couldn’t you go with him, Eliza?”

This was twisting the knife. She would have loved to go with him, to share the adventure of India together. But he’d made it clear that he didn’t want her to come.

“I’d prefer to stay in England,” she said, and forced herself not to say anything further even though Will fixed her with the piercing look she used to think of as his “guardian stare.” It had been years since he’d acted as her guardian, but she would always value his opinion and want his respect.

“We’ll be no different from many other couples with a husband in India and a wife in England,” Tommy said. “Everybody has sacrifices to make.”

“But any couple who cared about each other would think spending years apart an unnecessary sacrifice,” Will said. “Especially as newlyweds.”