How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure (16 page)

Straight On, Position A

Straight On, Position B

Legs Together

to pull up on the outer labia to assist her partner. In these two positions, you can easily incorporate the “hand assist” (see page
Her Leg Over His

156), using the thumb to stroke the anus or inserting one or two
Shoulder

fingers into the vagina to put pressure on the bottom of the introitus, the vaginal opening. Keep your fingers in slow motion and use circular movements.

T-Cross
: This is a good stroke for ladies who are more sensitive on one side of their clitoris than the other. The gentleman can alternate between a broad stroke and a pointy one, circling the clitoral bud.

Legs Together
: This is a good starting point and often the best for a woman with a hypersensitive clitoris, who cannot tolerate strong direct contact.

Her Leg over His Shoulder
: Have her place one leg over
Loving the Prize

your shoulder, and with a slight twist of her hips, you will be able to reach the right spot. Women have said they feel more

connected in this position. Again, use an upward stroking ‘notion.

Loving the Prize
: This is an ideal position for staying more connected to each other. Using a downward stroke, the man is able to relax the angle of his head, relieving his neck muscles.

Downward Dog
: This is a play on the downward-facing dog yoga position. For most couples, this is more of a novelty position, but it does allow for a good view of your partner. And some women enjoy feeling their partner holding them tightly around the middle and playing with their breasts. Again, use an upward stroking motion and be sure not to put too much weight on her.

When some women orgasm via oral sex, there is a change in consistency of lubrication. One man said, “She got thicker and there was more of it.”

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SIDE BY SIDE AND THE 69

A transition position for oral sex, the Side by Side and the 69 require
Side by Side

tremendous concentration. One woman reported, “I couldn’t give head and receive it at the same time. It was too much like that tummy-rubbing, head-patting move. I like to warm up in this position and then switch positions.”

Using a downward stroking motion, this is for more sensitive ladies. Make sure there is a lot of saliva so she won’t dry out. While you’re busy, she can be sucking on your penis or testicles. It’s a relaxing position for your neck, too.

On your side, you can cushion your head on her thigh. As one man put it, “My tongue stays more moist, saliva pools in my mouth, so I can taste her more.” You can also reach around and play with
69

her buttocks and anus.

With the woman over the top of the man, you can relax every part of your body—except your tongue. Use a downward stroking motion. This is ideal for partners who enjoy oral/manual anal play.

This is another novelty position that requires the man sitting up, with his partner on top. She then stays in place by locking her ankles behind his head while her thighs rest on his shoulders. Some women enjoy the blood rush to the head when they go horizontal again.

SOMF (SIT ON MY FACE)

These positions are two of the easiest for the lady to control the motion. In both the forward-facing Hovering Butterfly toward his head and the away-facing SOMF, she can adjust the pressure and speed as she chooses.

Reverse 69

SOMF.
Your head and neck should be supported by a pillow—not only for comfort but so you have some vertical give n the stroking area. You can easily play with her breasts and use your hands to open her more. Use both downward and upward

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stroking motions and lots of suction. This way she is able to concentrate on her own pleasure, as she can’t do anything to you.

Hovering Butterfly
. This is a ladies’ favorite for a number of reasons. She can rest on something and feel very much in control while her partner is doing her. Use a good upward stroking motion. An optional move is to cover yourself from the waist down while she faces your feet.

This position is a favorite of men who love a woman’s buttocks. It requires a shallower stroking motion, however, and if you decide to go into any anal play, remember not to go back to her vulvar area, as you don’t want to transfer fluids or organisms from one area to the other. Since the naturally occurring organisms of the anal (both yours and hers) and vaginal areas differ, you risk upsetting her natural vaginal environment, which may then cause her to get vaginal or bladder infections.

The Arch

Sit on My Face

You have limited access to everything here, but it is a good starting position. You may have to crook your neck quite severely.

One woman’s comment was, “I love when my husband does this. It’s so animal—it turns me on.” In this position, with her shoulders dropped, she can help pull herself open with her hands and open up the entire area.

SECRET FROM LOU’S ARCHIVES

Don’t go anywhere with your tongue or finger after you’ve gone near the anus; you risk introducing foreign organisms that can then cause infection.

These two positions lend themselves to activity outside of the bedroom.

Hovering Butterfly

Chair Therapy
: Whether she’s perched on a countertop or a sofa, the lady has a great view and the man a position he can
Rear Approach

maintain for an extended period without getting a sore neck. The lady can stay connected by holding his head, though some men claim this feels like being “grabbed behind the ears and steered like a boat.” If she sits or reclines on a table and you’re on a chair, the benefits are obvious: You’re totally comfortable and can concentrate on the job at hand, so to speak, using “hand assist” moves to pleasure her more.

Stand and Deliver
: Another acrobatic position, often used in the shower or while getting dressed or undressed. Use an upward stroking here. This position is a terrific way to increase what I call the fun factor of great sex. Anytime you introduce a new
Chair Therapy

position, new move, or new item, you are increasing the spirit of adventure, which will in turn make you both feel more

spontaneous, playful, and excited. Unfortunately, the only clown-side is the gentleman sometimes gets a bad crick in his neck.

Special Moves

Strumming the Frenulum
. Technically, the frenulum is a skin attachment point. Men have one on the head of their penis, and Openmirrors.com

women have it on the top of their vulvar/clitoral area. To please a woman here, use the undersurface of your tongue (it’s much smoother) with a quick side-to-side stroke. Your tongue will be curved up close to your upper lip.

The Elevator
. Use the top surface of your tongue in an upward stroke and use the undersurface on the downward stroke.

Doing Your ABCs
. I believe it was the late Sam Kinison, raunchy-style comedian, who brought this technique to fame. Alternate tongue moves that are easy to remember write the letters of your alphabet. To make it even more exciting, try enlarging the font and
Stand and Deliver

italicizing. You may want to ask her to hold herself more open for you.

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Mr. Hoover
. This is all about suction, which most women really enjoy. Have her suck on your fingers to show you how she likes to
SECRET FROM LOU’S ARCHIVES

be stimulated.

Blowing into a woman’s vagina at any time is uncomfortable
Cradle and Diamond Tip
. Suck on the clitoral bud and use the tip (not wise), but during and a few weeks after pregnancy, blowing of your tongue to stimulate it while you are creating suction pressure can force air into the uterus, and if air enters a blood vessel (a with your pursed lips.

condition called and air embolism), can be deadly.

Ice Cubes
. Some women love this, but others don’t like the cold sensation at all.

below the clitoris, with the front of your chin. Also, some
The Picasso
. Use your tongue to create a line drawing all over her women enjoy chin pressure on the base of the introitus.

body, using her clitoris as a launching point. This is also where you ¾ A woman who was extremely sensitive to touch directly on can show her what she tastes like by surfacing and kissing her.

her clitoris wore silk panties when her husband went down on her. She would still be highly stimulated through the silk, Some General Tips from the Field

but not too much. After all, silk isn’t waterproof.

¾ The slower you go, the faster you’ll get there—honest.

“Sometimes he’s at speed 4, and I haven’t even gotten into ¾ One woman finally found a way to tell her partner how she gear.” In order for a woman to orgasm, she needs to have a liked to be licked. “I told him to kiss my pussy the same way buildup of tension. The speed of movement should build

he kisses my lips—big, soft, wet, and warm. Then I told him slowly and gradually. Then, as she begins to approach

that I wanted him to suck on my clit the same way he sucks orgasm, speed up and direct your tongue more intensely.

on my tongue.”

During oral sex, women tend to feel that a man is far away.

¾ When women say “That’s great,” or “ There,” men often You may want to consider a more body-contacting position speed up, or increase the pressure. This ends up rushing her, (see Loving the Prize in the Classic position).

which will totally cut the legs out form under her “slow ¾ Some women like you to move your tongue in small,

buildup.” At the risk of repeating myself, you need to let the repetitive motion, whereas other women want variety. She lady relax into sensations—that’s how things really build.

may want you to use your tongue in broad, general strokes in On the other hand, when she says “more,” by all means stay the beginning, and then as she becomes excited, she may

with that motion.

want you to zero in on her clitoris and concentrate on that ¾ Men who are best at this use their entire face, and say they spot. Check in with her and ask if she would like you to resemble a glazed donut when they’re through. If your

change the motions of your tongue.

tongue gets tired, use your nose and chin to execute your ¾ Keep in mind that for most women, especially if oral sex is moves.

the first move of foreplay, it’s going to take longer than you ¾ Men have shared the some women like when you put

think to orgasm. Some women take fifteen minutes; others pressure on their mons pubis with your nose.

take up to a half hour. It depends on many variables,

¾ While you are using your tongue to stimulate her clitoris, including how relaxed and comfortable she is.

consider using firm, steady pressure on the urethral area, just ¾ One of the best ways a man can tell if a woman is relaxing
YOUR TONGUE GETS TIRED

and getting more excited is through her breath: It will

1. If your tongue gets tired, curve it up against the outside of change, slow, and deepen. As she gets closer to orgasm, use your upper lip. This way, you can relax your tongue and not her breathing as a guide to quicken, slow, or change the break the sensation of softness and heat she is enjoying.

degree of movement of your tongue and mouth. Another

2. There are two surfaces on your tongue—top and bottom. If indication of her arousal may be if she arches her back and your tongue tires in a side stroking motion, relax with a big goes up on her shoulders.

upward stroke with the top surface. Then use the soft

¾ Some women get over-stimulated during oral sex. If that’s underside of your tongue on the downward stroke.

the case, you need to either vary the intensity or range of your tongue’s movement or orally caress another part of her
USE THE HAND ASSIST

body and give her genitals a rest. Often if you return your 1. The hands and mouth work in concert. While your mouth is tongue to her clitoris or labia after a short rest, she will still on her, use your fingers, too. Specifically, try sliding your be aroused, but still able to have an orgasm.

thumb around the perineal or anal area.

¾ Some women who feel they are not going to orgasm during 2. Pressure the bottom of the introitus area, inside the vagina. If or from oral stimulation can experience anxiety. Try to help a woman is on her back and you are looking at her genitals, your partner, letting her know that it’s perfectly okay not to the introitus is the vaginal opening. Using your thumb or orgasm.

chin, pressure the bottom of this entry within the first two inches. Some women become very aroused.

3. Keep a hand under your chin. This is a multitasking move.

Not only can you support your chin in the crest of your

Some women like the sensation of a man “humming” on them.

thumb and forefinger, you can also use the second joint at the front of your index finger to continue the stroking motion
TROUBLESHOOTING

while your tongue takes a break. By the time you need to do We all know, women included, that pleasing her orally requires some this, there should be enough lubrication from her to avoid slight contortions of your head and body. Here are some solutions: any dryness.

KNOTS IN THE NECK SOLUTIONS

1. Pillows, pillows, pillows. Use them, especially if you’re on a 1. Make sure you shave yourself like a baby’s butt, especially bed, under her hips and/or under your chest. (In Hovering around your mouth and right under your lower lip. Test on Butterfly, use a pillow under your head.)