How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure (15 page)

she sees you licking your lips.

Factors that will change your lover’s taste:

Now, I know some of you are uncomfortable with this whole subject. Indeed, some of you may actually avoid it altogether. And ¾ Vitamins

while you have every right in the world to refrain from doing what ¾ Medication

makes you uncomfortable, I will point out some of the reasons either ¾ Diet

you or your partner may feel hesitant to let go and enjoy the ¾ Where she is in her cycle

pleasures of oral sex. But if, after you’ve gone through this entire ¾ Infection

chapter, you still feel reluctant to give her oral sex, then you should ¾ Degree of hydration

be honest about it. In a gentle, kind way explain your feelings. Keep ¾ Spicy or heavily seasoned foods

in mind, however, that your partner is especially vulnerable to the ¾ Alcohol, drugs, or tobacco

slightest rejection in this area. Women will take it personally if you don’t handle it with kid gloves. Also remember that women know or sense when a man is not enjoying himself, and the last thing a
SECRET FROM LOU’S ARCHIVES

woman wants is for you to do something you’re not enjoying.

A pheromone is a substance that provides chemical means of Part of the reason that some women feel uncomfortable about oral communication between animals and certain insects, detected by sex is that they carry around with them the feeling that their genitals smell. May affect development, reproduction, and behavior.

are unclean or that men find oral sex distasteful. We can thank Madison Avenue and their clients for that charming legacy. It was It’s important for you and the women in your life to participate in the advertisers who developed the “need” for douching and tearing down some of the old myths having to do with oral sex being reinforced negative or shameful feelings about female genitalia. To dirty or unnatural. Some men and women still believe this, and I feel the contrary, as I’ve already stated, a healthy woman’s genital area is they are missing out on one of the most pleasurable experiences two one of the most self-cleansing and self-maintaining aspects of her people can share and give one another. If it’s so “unnatural,” why do body. Ironically, sexual intercourse is the number one reason behind male animals invariably approach a female’s genitals with their nose most genital problems in women. Specifically, yeast and bladder and mouth? It’s up to you to release her inhibitions and your own.

infections and STDs result from having a foreign substance (semen) Chances are you both will find boundless pleasure in this activity.

introduced into a woman’s body. As you’ve seen in previous In my countless seminars, women have shared with me that they chapters, women can also suffer from problems in reaction to often feel safer and more enthusiastic about oral sex if you refer to it nonoxynol9. As one of the top specialists in this area said, “Women in a nicer way. Sadly, many of our cultural references having to do who do not have sex have the most pristine vaginal canals.”

with the female body are derisive or unpleasant. Here are some But I have talked to women who say that they’re afraid they smell options that women report preferring: “eaten out,” “going down on and/or will taste bad. If a woman is clean and doesn’t have infection, Openmirrors.com

me,” “cunnilingus,” “giving me head,” “dining out, “going south of come close? Tell them to suck on us the way they want us to suck on the border.” Phrases that are not liked include: “box lunch,” “eating them,” she said, muttering as she walked out of the room.

pussy,” “bush burgers,” and “muff diving.”

But inaccurate information promoting flicking is indeed out there.

A passage in a recently published book compiled by the editors of
Men’s Health
magazine says men should “flick” a woman’s clit and
SECRET FROM LOU’S ARCHIVE

not touch the lips with your lips. This is absolutely wrong! No Not all women are able to orgasm with cunnilingus, just as not all wonder men feel frustrated and women feel disappointed! The author men are able to orgasm with fellatio.

then goes on to say that “you can’t smother the clitoris with your lips or you’ll deaden the sensation.” In fact, the opposite is true—the The majority of men who are great at this have learned from clitoris does like to have isolated touch (with tongue), but the whole women—not from adult material or friends. Why? Because, as I’ve area responds to gentle sucking and pressure. The key is in knowing said before, the porn industry is inaccurate and insists on depicting (which may require asking) what your lover enjoys. And, gentlemen, cunnilingus as a long tongue pointed in the general direction of a she may not know her own body; again as a compassionate lover, it’s woman’s anatomy. Invariably, the tongue is not even close to the partly your role to help her understand her own body.

clitoris. Another problem some men have shared with me is they don’t know their way around a woman’s anatomy and feel they are
SECRET FROM LOU’S ARCHIVES

“rooting around in the dark.” This is perfectly understandable, and Amazingly, there are twenty-three states in which oral sex is still another reason why I included the guide to genitalia in the previous illegal, plus the District of Columbia and our military bases.

chapter. If you know that the clitoris is under a hood, for instance, then you’ll know where to focus and why when it is stimulated it becomes engorged lifting under the hood.

Herein lies one of the great faux pas of oral sex: the “flicking”

problem. Flicking directly on the clitoris, especially in the initial Mai ntenance and –Hygi ene

stage, is not stimulating for most women. Now, some women enjoy flicking, but not until they are already stimulated. It’s better to start The best and most effective way for a woman to maintain herself in with a full, warm mouth on her, and then some flicking, and then

“dining condition” is regular bathing and cleaning of the genital area.

back to full, warm mouth. One male seminar attendee suggests If you are concerned that she is not fresh as a daisy, perhaps you can

“leading up to her clitoris by stroking your tongue on her inner suggest taking a shower together. One woman from a seminar told thighs, and working your way up to the pubic bone, where you put me that her boyfriend lays her on the bed, inches up her dress, and on a bit of pressure.”

slowly washes her with a warm, wet washcloth. When he’s finished, Three things are bound to happen with flicking: (1) Your tongue they are both totally turned on: She is completely aroused and he is, dries out; (2) she dries out; and (3) your dry tongue pulls on her too. As she explains, “I feel like he is completely embracing of me, clitoris—not pleasurable. As one woman aptly put it, “What is it with which just gets me so hot.”

those flickers? Why do they stay so far away? Are they afraid to more. You may want to know that the current fashion trends do
SECRET FROM LOU’S ARCHIVES

require some pretty close manicuring of women’s pubic hair: (1) It is possible for women to be unaware of the symptoms of naked lips, (2) clean thong (area between buttocks cheeks), and (3) a vaginal infections. Bacterial vaginosis (BV) is a condition in small triangle or “runway” of hair. Some women will have special-which the natural balance of organisms in the vagina is changed.

event waxings done—hearts for Valentine’s Day and shamrocks for The exact cause of bacterial vaginosis is unknown. Among St. Patrick’s Day are two rather vivid examples. However, these women who are aware of BV symptoms, the most common

designs do require skilled estheticians. One woman from a seminar complaint is a foul or “fishy” odor. This odor often becomes told me about having her pubic hair dusted with gold powder (to stronger after sexual intercourse. (Yeast infections generally have match her lingerie) for a special occasion. After a night of complete no odor.) If left untreated, BV may cause complications, enjoyment, her boyfriend left the next morning to play his regular including abnormal Pap smears and increased risk of pelvis basketball game. As he walked on the court, his teammates looked at inflammatory disease (PID), and in pregnancy it has been him and asked, “What the f— is all over your face?” You guessed—

associated with premature birth and low-birth-weight infants. A her gold dust. So if she dapples, just check yourself in the mirror variety of antibacterial medications are used to treat bacterial before going out in public.

vaginosis.

SECRET FROM LOU’S ARCHIVES

If you try the washcloth method, remember not to use soap. The If you are worried about stray hairs in your mouth, do a stroking pH in soap is incompatible with the natural pH of a woman’s body.

move with your hand through her pubic hair. She will take it as a The soap will upset the natural acid balance that keeps the vaginal caressing move, when in actuality, you are grooming her and environment stable and braced to fight off foreign, infecting removing loose hairs.

substances. The lemony tartness of a woman’s natural lubrication is from the more acidic lubrication, the lactic acid. Vitamins will also change (usually for the worse) her taste. While we are on this While we are on the subject of her hair, I’d like to address your subject, if you are concerned about how to let your lady know her facial hair. Make sure that after shaving, you are smooth enough to smell or taste is strong, try telling her about the last time she tasted approach her. Rub the inside of your wrist on your beard, particularly
good
, after eating such foods as fruit.

just below your lower lip. If you feel anything scratchy, so will she.

One woman, who has particularly sensitive skin, told me of being left with a rash on the inside of her thigh—ouch! Short mustaches
SECRET FROM LOU’S ARCHIVES

and goatees can be the most abrasive, so longer hair (beards) is If your partner shaves her pubic hair, be careful of stubble during generally better.

oral sex and intercourse. Stubble could be abrasive for you.

The significance of your hair is best captured by this anecdote from one of my seminars. In a group of thirty-five men, I asked the
THE TRIANGLE DEBATE

three men with facial hair if they ever used their beards as a tool in Some men love a lot of pubic hair. The wife of a major television oral foreplay. (Please note that these men did not know each other.) star said, “He’d love it if I never shaved my legs, armpits, or bush.

The three men shyly looked at each other and then smiled. In unison, I’m the one who prefers it off.” For other men, less hair is definitely all three nodded yes. Then one of them, a big trucker, announced as he stroked his very full beard, “Hell, I even use hair conditioner on mine so it’s nice and soft.”

A quick note before I describe the best positions for oral sex. I’d like But as a standard policy, ask her what she prefers.

to share what some men recommend as great ways to practice tongue technique.

SECRET FROM LOU’S ARCHIVES

1.

In French, a woman’s personal scent is referred to as her Eat an ice cream cone. Just think about it: The upward,

elongating tongue strokes are quite similar to what you

“cassolette.”

would use on her. For more subtle moves, try eating Jell-O

or pudding straight out of the container with no spoon.

Lifting the Clitoral Hood

2. To perfect your tongue finesse (and as Whoopi Goldberg suggested in her comedy routine), hold a Life Saver at the front of your mouth in the flat position either between your For those ladies who enjoy and prefer direct clitoral stimulation, you lips and gum or just inside your teeth. Using tiny tongue will need to lift the prepuce, or clitoral hood (akin to the foreskin in a motions, “eat” or dissolve the Life Saver from inside out.

man). Here are some tips.

Like great oral sex, this takes time, patience, and a strong,
Option #1
: Using the index and middle fingers of both hands, put nimble tongue.

upward pressure on the inside of the outer labia and lift the entire area. The best positions for this are the Classic (oral), SOMF, and That said, we’re ready to move on to the positions. Essentially, Chair Therapy.

there are five positions, with each position containing subpositions or
Option #2
: The woman’s legs must be in a “V” with her feet on a variations on the main theme.

flat surface. You are between her legs and have one arm under and around her thigh. With a flat hand on her pubic hair, use a firm,
THE CLASSICS

upward pressure toward her head. Again, this will move everything In the following seven illustrations, you’ll see the standard position up and create a more taut, open area for your mouth.

of the man between the woman’s legs, with his mouth attached to her
Option #3
: If she is comfortable doing so, ask your partner to genitals. And although these seven positions all belong to the same hold herself open. She might get a better hold on the slippery surface

“family,” each has its own variation on the theme. As a rule, it’s best of the skin if she wears those little white cotton gloves—the type to have pillows under her hips and under your chest. This allows for women wore in the 1950s. Of course, she may feel silly doing this, a better range of motion for you and positions her hips so she can be so it’s up to both of you to decide.

spread more openly. It also saves you from abrading the underside of your tongue on your teeth.

“As she gets more excited, I notice a perceptible change in the
Straight-On
: (Positions A and B) These two positions allow temperature just inside my girlfriend’s vagina, and then there is a for good upward stroking, lifting the clitoral hood. In A and B, whoosh of lubrication. Can I tell you what that does to me?”

the woman can adjust how open she is by holding her thighs Positi ons

open. She can also use her hands (perhaps in those white gloves)
T-Cross