How to Fall in Love (81 page)

She wants him. She’s falling for him.

“It wasn’t anything romantic,” I add in quickly, deciding I can’t tell her about the library, not right now. “It was like an apology.”

“An apology?”

She looks skeptical.

“He chained me up for twelve hours with a gag in my mouth, I think he was sorry for that.”

“So he kissed you?” she muttered.

“Y-y-yes.”

“Is that all he’s done?”

I look away guiltily.

“This isn’t a competition, Number Thirteen. I’m just trying to figure out how and why he’s doing these things.”

“I get a feeling it is a competition,” I say honestly.

She shakes her head. “He kissed me too, Number Thirteen, only not in the way he kissed you.”

I narrow my eyes.

“Then how did he kiss you?”

She looks away for a second. “As I was saying, he was almost waiting for my permission. He was gaining our trust, holding us, letting us see that if we wanted it we could have it, but he wouldn’t push it on us if we didn’t.”

“And...”

I feel sick. Something in my stomach is about to erupt and show how much this is affecting me.

“Well, I asked. I told him I wanted it. I told him I wanted him. I thought he would just take me, but he didn’t. He just...pleasured me.”

Pleasured her?

Bile rises in my throat.

“H-h-how do you mean?”

“He gave me oral sex, Number Thirteen.”

I blink at her.

He gave her oral sex.

He gave her oral sex?

I try to stop my mind from spinning, but there is no holding back. Tears well under my eyelids, and I want to swipe them away angrily while cursing to the roof. I don’t even know why it affects me. I am weak for allowing myself to warm up towards a man that’s really given me nothing but pain. Yet it’s affecting me. 

I’m jealous.

Insanely jealous.

“Well, okay,” I finally manage to rasp out.

“So, what I’ve made from all this is that he’s playing now with two of us. He’s kissed you, and he’s...well...
you know
with me. To me, a kiss is so much more personal, so I wonder which one of us he is warming towards.”

A kiss is more personal? Is she serious? He didn’t put his mouth on me like that. He gave me his hands, but he didn’t...He put his mouth on her...on her...God, I think I’m going to be sick.

“We don’t have time to analyze this now,” I mutter.

“The thing is,” she says nervously, “is that I figure it’s kind of simple. If you don’t want him, then you can step away, and make this easier. So, what I’m really asking you is, do you want him, Number Thirteen?”

I spin towards her and snap, “Have you seen him, Number Twelve?”

“Of course I have.”

“No, I mean really seen him. Without the mask.”

She shakes her head, looking completely confused. “No...but...”

“He’s disfigured. He’s got a ruined eye, and he’s missing an eyebrow. His skin is all burned...”

“What?” she whispers.

“You think you know what you’re doing here, but until you know all of him, then you can’t possibly want him. You want the
idea
of him. It’s two different things.”

“And you still want him, even after...you saw
that
?”

“
That
is a person, Number Twelve. A person who is damaged, and broken, and has a reason behind everything he does.
That
is a part of him, and it comes with the package that is William. So to answer your question with full honesty, yes, I do want him even after I saw
that
. Because he let me see all of him when he showed me
that
, and all of him is something I want to explore further.”

She stares at me for a long moment, and then murmurs, “I want all of him, too.”

“Well, then I suppose we’re in a bit of a situation.”

I’m angry with William, but I’m not going to show her that. I don’t want her to see she’s hurt me, because really, it’s not her fault. He’s the one playing around, and playing around is something I won’t give in to easily. I don’t want to be with a man who can’t choose, and I certainly won’t be fighting for him if he’s not interested in fighting back.

“We need to go get prepared. We have to clean up for tomorrow night,” she says, sliding off the bed and walking towards her.

I guess she doesn’t want to talk about it further.

I can’t say I blame her.

“Okay,” I say, staring out the window.

Where does this leave us?

~*~*~*~

“N
umber Thirteen tonight,” I order George as I pull off my shirt and lean down, gripping my pajama pants.

“I’ll go and retrieve her.”

“Thank you.”

When he leaves, I strip off my pants and pull my sleepwear on, then I walk over and light a few candles before flicking off the lights. Number Thirteen and I haven’t spoken a lot. In fact, she barely looked at me today when I checked in on her group to make sure they were setting up right.

Something is off.

I’m going to find out what it is.

“Here she is, sir.”

I turn and see Number Thirteen walking into the room. She’s watching me, but her face is expressionless. Her long, blond hair is curling and dropping around her shoulders before trickling over her breasts. She’s wearing a white nightdress that sits just above her thighs. She’s only tiny, and it looks far bigger than her.

“Come, sit beside me.”

She looks at George, and he flashes her a quick smile before leaving. Slowly she begins to walk over. She stops next to me, and stares down at the couch. Realizing she’s not going to sit easily, I reach up and take her hand. I notice she flinches and pulls her bottom lip into her mouth, turning away. I tug her and she comes easily enough, falling onto my lap.

“Number Thirteen, something is wrong.”

“That’s not my name,” she whispers.

“Is that what the problem is?” I murmur, running my nose up her neck. She shivers.

“No,” she mumbles. “I don’t have a problem.”

“Do you remember what I said about liars?”

“I’m not lying to you, William,” she seethes, stiffening.

“But you are, because I felt it today. I felt that you were angry, and you didn’t look at me. I don’t understand what I’ve done wrong. I’ve opened up to you, Number Thirteen.”

She spins to me. “Are you serious?”

“Completely.”

“You’ve opened up to me? You’ve given yourself to me? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

“How many people do you think see me like this?” I grind out, feeling my body stiffen.

“I don’t know. Maybe I should ask Number Twelve.”

My eyes narrow, and I shake my head, looking down at her. “What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” she cries, tucking herself further into me, as if she needs my comfort even though she’s angry at me.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about. Please, enlighten me.”

She’s quiet for a moment, and I can feel her breath puffing against my chest. She smells amazing, and my heart clenches as I relish in how well she fits into my lap.

“I don’t play games, William,” she whispers in a small voice.

“Neither do I.”

“But you do, you’re playing with me right now.”

‘You’re not making any sense.”

She sighs, and I risk lifting my hand and running it over her soft locks. She makes a whimpering sound, before continuing.

“You’re using me and Number Twelve.”

“I beg your pardon?” I say, feeling my hand stop and my body freeze.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know. You’re getting us both comfortable so you can have your way with us. You’re making us think we matter, but we don’t matter, do we, William?”

It clicks then. She’s obviously found out about Number Twelve and I. God, she has no idea. No idea how little that meant to me. How little I felt while I pleasured her. If she understood how good it felt to have my fingers inside
her
, how I craved
her
, she would understand there is no comparison.

“You’re jealous that I had a sexual encounter with Number Twelve?”

“You mouth-fucked her. It’s hardly a sexual encounter.”

I feel myself grin, even though she can’t see it. She’s so sassy, constantly challenging me.

“Yes,” I say in a gravelly voice. “I did mouth-fuck her.”

“God, don’t go easy on me or anything,” she mumbles against my chest.

“Does it bother you, Beauty?”

“It bothers me that you’re still calling me in here, trying to get close with me. If you’ve picked her, if you’re doing that with her, then let me go and join the other girls. Don’t keep calling me in here to spend time with you. It’s pointless.”

I decide the best way to approach this is to be brutally honest with her, so that’s what I do. “She asked me to deliver, I delivered. I wasn’t sure what I wanted when that happened. I had three girls left in my group; one really didn’t want to give in to me. The other was smart-mouthing me every chance she got. Then there was Number Twelve, willing to be everything I wanted.”

She stiffens again, and her hands fumble together. “So you chose her because she is easy.”

I shake my head, leaning down, and breathing her in. “
Wrong
, Beauty, I didn’t choose her.”

She stares up at me, and her lips part slightly. “You didn’t?”

“No. I didn’t choose her because you’re right, she is too easy. She doesn’t put up a fight; she doesn’t challenge me. She just gives me what she thinks I want. There have been no choices made.”

“Are you looking for a lover, William?”

I think on that a moment, and once again I answer her honestly. “Yes, Number Thirteen. I am.”

“And you picked our group because the girls in it were...” she prompts.

“The girls in your group are the most damaged, but you’re also the sweetest, the kindest, and have the biggest hearts.”

“You can’t possibly know that.”

I chuckle softly. “But I can. I’ve been testing all of you. I gave you the chance to make Number Eleven your slave, but you let her go. You were the one who took lashes for your girls, so they didn’t get hurt. You were the one who held Number Three in your arms, not caring about the mess it was making.”

“I just want you to know,” she whispers, “I’m not a game-playing kind of girl. Okay, I don’t really know what kind of girl I am, but I do know that right here, right now, I don’t like to be played with. I don’t want to be competing against Number Twelve. I have no purpose or desire to.”

“So you’re saying there’s a competition to be had?”

God help me, her cheeks flush. My body tightens, and my want towards her increases.

“No,” she whispers. “I’m just saying that if you’re interested in her, then I really don’t need to be coming to you.”

“And if I’m not?”

We hold each other’s gazes for long, long moments. “Then I guess things stay as they are.”

“And if I request you as my lover, Beauty?” I say, feeling my lips twitch.

“I never said I would be your lover. That wasn’t what I was doing...I...” she stammers.

“What were you doing, then?”

“I don’t know you, William. You haven’t given me the chance to know you. But if I got that chance, then yes, I might consider letting us...I mean, letting you...”

“Mouth-fuck you.” I grin.

Her lips pop open. “I...”

“Master?”

We both turn to see George standing at the entrance of the room. 

“Yes, George?” I bite out, wondering why he’s interrupted me.

“You have a visitor, sir. It’s Ben.”

I nod, and then turn, staring down at Number Thirteen. I curl my finger under her chin and tilt her face, pressing my lips to hers. She has the sweetest, softest lips I’ve ever had the pleasure of kissing. She whimpers, and her fingers go up and splay out against my chest. I rumble and pull back, staring down at her mouth.

“We’ll finish this, Number Thirteen.”

Then I lift her off my lap and exit the room.

~*~*~*~

“T
he girls are ready to work,” George says early the next morning when he comes in with my breakfast.

I turn in my chair, and nod at him.

“Are they aware of what they’re to do today?”

“Of course sir,” he says, then hesitates before adding, “You can go and check in on them, if you like?”

My chest clenches. He’s right, I should be bringing myself out more now, I shouldn’t be hiding up here. To earn their trust, I need to show them more of myself. The other girls see me here and there, because they aren’t the group that are damaged, but those girls, they have only ever known me as hidden. Number Thirteen is the only one who has seen me properly.

I know I can’t keep hiding here, though. I have to start letting them become familiar with my presence. Letting them get to know that I’m not the monster they think I am, that I’m here, watching them, supporting them. I’ve been avoiding taking the next step, but I know that it’s time, and so does George. I stand, turning to him. “You know, I think I’ll do that, George. Thank you.”

He nods, giving me a brief smile. I take my eye patch, the one I have specifically made to cover all the damage to my face. Then I head out. I pass groups one and two as I move down the halls. They watch me, their mouths slightly agape. They’ve seen me before, of course, but they don’t see me often. I nod my heads at them, giving them a brief smile. Their faces light up. My chest swells with pride.

I reach the kitchen, and I stand outside the door, listening to the girls chattering inside. I know my group is in here;
my girls
. I know me coming in will shock them, but it will also help them learn to trust me. I put my girls in their places when they need it, but I’m also a kind, giving man.

Taking a breath, I shove the door open. Number Seven, Twelve and Thirteen are preparing the food. They all gasp a little when I enter, and I notice Number Twelve staring at my eye. I guess she knows what lies behind the patch. I stare around at the amazing food they are preparing, and once more I feel pride.

“How is it all going, ladies?” I ask.