How to Defeat Harmful Habits (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (36 page)
(
VERSE
9).
•
F
ACT
#5:
The love of money will lure you into committing many sins.
“The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil”
(
VERSE
10).
•
F
ACT
#6:
The craving for money will compromise your faith and cause you grief upon grief.
“Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith
and pierced themselves with many griefs”
(
VERSE
10).
•
O
NE
A
CT
:
Don’t let your highest priority be anything that can be taken away from you. Therefore, turn from pursuing perishable wealth and pursue imperishable wealth, which is found in the development of Christlike character.
“Man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness
,
godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness”
(
VERSE
11).
Pete Rose acknowledged he was a problem gambler but remained as determined as ever to argue his case for reinstatement into professional baseball and induction into the Baseball Hall of Fame. “My actions…call the integrity of the game into question,” Pete admitted. “And there’s no excuse for that, but there’s also no reason to punish me forever.”
40
In November 1999, Pete launched an official online petition to garner signatures for his reinstatement.
Given the fact that denial is a defense mechanism frequently found in problem gamblers and has proven to be a formidable roadblock to recovery, self-evaluation is synonymous with self-delusion and can result in self-destruction. Problem gamblers can no more accurately assess the destructiveness of their behavior than teenagers can accurately determine the degree of their maturity. Insight and honesty are required if you are to learn the truth about the dangers of your own gambling experiences. As Jesus said,
“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with
much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be
dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in
handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?”
(L
UKE
16:10-11).
C
OMPULSIVE
G
AMBLING
Q
UIZ
Answer with complete honesty the following questions with either
yes
or
no
:
1. Do you think about gambling on and off throughout the day, planning your next gambling experience or figuring out ways to aquire money?
2. Do you usually gamble longer than the time you originally allotted?
3. Do you continuously spend more money in order to get excited or emotionally high?
4. Do you ever feel depressed or suicidal as a result of losing money?
5. Do you become agitated, uptight, or ill-tempered whenever you attempt to curtail gambling?
6. Do you sometimes experience regret or guilt afterward, vowing never to do it again?
7. Do you ever gamble to avoid problems or because you feel bored, frustrated, or sad?
8. Do you sometimes gamble in an attempt to win back money you previously lost?
9. Do you view gambling as a legitimate means of taking care of your responsibilities?
10. Do you ever lie about how much you gamble or conceal gambling-related problems?
11. Do you borrow money to cover your losses?
12. Do you ever gamble away money previously earmarked for necessities?
13. Do you ever let bills accumulate while you gamble your paycheck or savings?
14. Do you ever take or steal money from someone you know?
15. Do you ever steal money from nonfamily members, shoplift, or commit any other illegal acts in order to get money?
16. Do you have conflicts with family or friends as a result?
17. Do you jeopardize relationships or job opportunities?
18. Do you have difficulty falling asleep because you can’t stop thinking about it?
19. Do you skip school, miss work, break commitments, or fail to show at special events?
20. Do you ever seek help with paying your bills or mortgage/rent payments?
21. Do others ever question or criticize your gambling activities?
22. Do you spend large amounts of time gambling by yourself?
23. Do you resist spending your “gambling money” on anything else?
24. Do you have diminished interest in family, friends, or pleasurable pastimes?
25. Do you feel stunned, disoriented, and desperate to gamble again when you’ve run out of money?
If you answered
yes
to four or more of these questions, you need to meet with an expert in gambling addictions and seek help to be set free. To turn a blind eye to compulsive attitudes, desires, and behaviors is to play into the hands of the chief of all charlatans, to fall prey to the deadliest of all deceivers, to be victimized by the devourer of all the deceived. The Bible gives this caution…
“Be self-controlled and alert
.
Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion
looking for someone to devour”
(1 P
ETER
5:8).
Developing Treatment ProgramsQ
UESTION
:
“What are the usual components of a treatment program for problem gamblers?”
A
NSWER
:
The four components usually incorporated into treatment programs for gamblers are…
•
Counseling (individual and group)
– Offered by skilled professional psychologists, counselors, and/or social workers
– Provided often without charge or through government subsidies
•
Step-based Programs
– Gamblers Anonymous (modeled after Alcoholics Anonymous) is the best known and most prevalent
– In addition, 12-step programs (both nonprofit and for profit) are available for treating general and/or specific addictions
•
Peer Support
– Gamblers Anonymous and other step-based programs provide peer support groups
– Online support groups are also available for those who desire anonymity or want to avoid personal disclosure
•
Self-help
– Workbooks, study guides, devotionals, Bible studies, and videos are available along with telephone support
– Online self-help sites are also beneficial for those who do not want to disclose their identity but still desire help
When it comes to overcoming addictions, step-based programs have stood the test of time and have proved their effectiveness. The Bible reminds us, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed” (Proverbs 15:22).
Gambling addicts like Pete Rose incur great debt as a result of their gambling. But by taking one step at a time in the right direction, they can find financial freedom. Although debt can be discouraging, it shouldn’t be devastating. Just don’t tackle the debt all at one time. The best plan for climbing out of financial debt is to pay off accounts with the highest interest rate and smaller bills first and then put those payment amounts toward paying off the biggest bills.
If you keep your eyes on the next step rather than on the entire mountain, your anxiety will cease and your motivation will increase. The best mountain climbers take just one step at a time, recognizing the biggest challenge awaits them near the top. Keep your eyes on the goal by regaining control of your finances. Only then will you move forward toward peace and debt-free living. Acknowledge your need of the Lord, for He will be your provider.
“My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus”
(P
HILIPPIANS
4:19).
As you begin your journey out of debt, take the following steps—again, one step at a time:
•
Acknowledge your gambling addiction
to God and to significant others.
– Confess your hidden addiction to God and to at least two trustworthy people.
– Be open and totally honest about all aspects of your gambling-related behavior.
•
Assume personal responsibility
for your debt.
– Don’t blame others for your choices.
– Fully disclose the extent of your indebtedness.
•
Get the help and support
you need to stop gambling.
– Join a support group for gamblers and attend meetings faithfully.
– Enlist the support of dependable, self-disciplined loved ones to hold you accountable.
•
Do not worry about your debt.
Make a covenant with God, yourself, and a support person.
– Realize worry can be a trigger that throws you back into gambling.
– Place Scripture cards in several strategic places around you to remind you of God’s provision.
•
Evaluate your total financial picture
with objectivity.
– Get expert assistance in setting up a yearly budget and a long-term savings and payment plan.
– Destroy all but one credit card and temporarily entrust it and your bank card to a trustworthy person as you operate on a cash-only basis.
•
Learn about boundaries
regarding people and places.
– Avoid people and places that tempt you to gamble.
– Find new travel routes to and from work and other places you would leave to go gambling.
•
Institute emotional boundaries
with an accountability partner.
– Be aware of your triggers, feelings, and mood swings and what impacts them both positively and negatively.
– Pray, journal, memorize Scripture passages, study God’s Word, engage in a hobby, call a friend, or go somewhere safe when you are tempted to gamble.
Remember that your hope for victory lies in your relationship with Jesus Christ and your total dependence on the Spirit of God within you. Memorize, personalize, and repeatedly quote God’s promise to you that
“no temptation has seized you except what is common to man
.
And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond
what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also
provide a way out so that you can stand up under it”
(1 C
ORINTHIANS
10:13).
Statistics abound that reveal the negative impact of gambling—related incidents of addiction, bankruptcy, crime, corruption, domestic abuse, destruction of marriages and families, and suicide attempts are higher among gamblers than among those with any other addiction. The progressive nature of gambling often leaves onlookers with the following concern:
“Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves
wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless”
(E
CCLESIASTES
5:10).
The following data is just the tip of the iceberg.
Crime
1. The crime rate in gambling communities is nearly double that of the national average.
41
2.
Legalized
gambling increases
illegal
gambling by 300 percent.
42
3. Among those arrested, the percentage of compulsive gamblers is 3 to 5 times higher.
43
4. Studies of Gamblers Anonymous (GA) members report that approximately 50 percent of the participants had stolen in order to gamble and over 33 percent had been arrested.
44
5. Casino communities in the United States have crime rates 84 percent higher than the national average. Crime within 30 miles of Atlantic City rose by 107 percent in the nine years following the introduction of casinos to the area.
45
And, in Deadwood, South Dakota—just three years after casinos were legalized—felony crimes rose 40 percent.
Family Violence
1. Case studies of 10 casino communities revealed that the majority of these communities witnessed increases in domestic violence related to the opening of casinos.
46
2. The National Research Council (1999) reported on studies indicating that 25 to 50 percent of spouses of pathological gamblers have been abused.
3. Three years after casinos became legal in Deadwood, South Dakota, domestic violence and assaults skyrocketed 80 percent.
47
Child Neglect/Abuse
1. A review of Indiana’s state gaming commission records showed that 72 children were found abandoned on casino premises during a span of 14 months.
48
2. Children of problem gamblers have been shown to have higher levels of tobacco, alcohol, and drug use and more problems with overeating than do their classroom peers.
49
3. Children of compulsive gamblers are often more prone to suffer abuse as well as neglect.”
50
In South Dakota, child abuse increased 42 percent in the first three years after casinos were legalized.
Suicide/Depression
1. “Suicide attempts among pathological gamblers are higher than for any of the addictions.”
51
And 76 percent of pathological gamblers are likely to develop a major depressive disorder.
52
2. Ultimately, 1 in 5 compulsive gamblers attempt suicide,
53
and 1 in 10 spouses of gamblers attempt suicide.
54
3. Suicides increased by 213 percent (from 24 to 75) in the first two years after casinos arrived in Gulfport, Mississippi. In nearby Biloxi, suicide attempts jumped 1000 percent in the first year alone.
55
Negative Social Impact
1. Gambling has been called “the single fastest-growing driver of bankruptcy.”
56
Gambling-related bankruptcies in the Detroit metropolitan area increased by as much as “40-fold within a year and a half of the opening of Casino Windsor.”
57
2. Legalized gambling depresses businesses because it diverts money that could have been spent to energize the economy. Money that could be invested, loaned, and recycled through the economy is instead risked in a legalized gambling scheme.
3. Legalized gambling siphons money that could be spent on education. More money is wagered on gambling than is spent on both elementary and secondary education. For every dollar a state receives in gambling revenues, it costs the state at least three dollars in increased social costs (for criminal justice and social welfare).
58
4. The less education people have, the more likely they are to play the lottery.
59
The poor bet a far larger portion of their income than the middle class, the rich, or the well-educated. Those in the lowest income bracket lost more than three times as much to gambling (as a percentage of total income) as those at the wealthiest end of the spectrum.
60
5. Gambling breeds greed. Research has shown that the number of compulsive gamblers increases between 100 percent to 550 percent when legalized gambling is brought into an area. Within 50 miles of a casino, the prevalence of multiple problems and compulsive gamblers roughly doubles (called the “50-2x Rule”).
61
Those who struggle with gambling can be ruined by real risks and wrong rewards. Although a struggler may try to justify—“I don’t have a problem. I only gamble for fun”—the human heart can be deceived, and pursuing that heart’s desire can result in monumental mistakes. And God is just—He promises to settle accounts based on our choices, based on what we choose to do. As the Bible says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? ‘I the L
ORD
search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve’” (Jeremiah 17:9-10).
Jasmine—from Rejection to Redemption
It’s a typical weekday for little Jasmine. After returning from school and completing her homework, she begins stringing together necklaces—
lots of necklaces
—to sell on the streets of Hong Kong to help financially support her family. There is no time to play Catch the Dragon’s Tail or Blind Man, two popular Chinese children’s games. Instead, Jasmine must keep stringing necklaces…bead after bead. Later she wanders through the nearby vegetable fields, hoping to discover discarded produce for dinner.
Jasmine’s mother knits and sells cardigan sweaters. And although her father works as a policeman, a measly pittance is spent supporting his seven children, of which Jasmine is the youngest. Rather than feeding his family, he is consumed with feeding his habit, betting big money to play an immensely popular game of mythical origin—Mahjong.
62
Seated at a gambling table for countless hours, Jasmine’s father discards and claims tiles to form certain combinations in hopes of creating a winning “hand.” In the 1950s, when Jasmine was a girl, there were about 150 registered Mahjong parlors in Hong Kong,
63
affording plenty of opportunity to participate in the high-stakes game characterized by strategy, skill, and that untamable variable—
chance
. For almost 15 years, Jasmine’s father spends far more time at the parlors than at home, emptying his wallet to amass thousands and thousands of dollars of gambling debts.