How The Cookie Crumbles (51 page)

So I consulted their schedule and planned a dinner for a Saturday night when they had a game against Colorado. Except I found out at the last minute that the game was actually at 1:00 in the afternoon.

“Who plays hockey in the afternoon?” I wondered. “So you’re probably going out with the guys afterwards, right?”

Jake smirked at me. “Why Frankie, you seem a little tense… as usual. Were you planning some bingo with Gramps and his senior buddies?”

“No, I was just having a couple of friends to dinner.” I tried to make it sound boring and innocent.

“Well, you know, Domer and I were really looking forward to having dinner at home after being on the road so long. And we’ve hardly seen you, Frankie.” He was using this fake sincere voice.

“It’s not going to be anything special,” I protested, but I could tell that Jake was going to be there, regardless.

“Your cooking is always special. And I love meeting your friends!” he declared.

Jake

When Frankie mentioned that she was having a couple of friends over for dinner on a night me and Domer were supposed to go out, I figured that we could change our plans. I think she was a little pissed to hear we were going to be home, but it wasn’t like she could kick us out of our own house. Domer decided he was going out anyway and suggested I do the same, but I came straight home after our game. It was a win, and I was feeling good. Frankie’s friends were already there, but instead of the greasy Antonio, it was some surfer dude and a cute brunette. I assumed that they were a couple; Frankie introduced them and said that he was an artist.

“An artist, eh? So would I have seen your work anywhere?” I asked. I found it hard to believe that this guy was an artist, he looked more like a burned-out druggie.

“Only if you’ve turned around,” Cameron replied, pointing the painting on the wall behind me.

“Oh. That’s yours? I meant to ask Frankie about it, but she’s never home.” I looked over at Frankie, and she rolled her eyes at me. “I like it a lot,” I told him. “At first I didn’t get it because it wasn’t really a picture of anything, but it sort of grew on me.”

“Can’t call you a complete Neanderthal now, can I? Okay if I get another beer?” he asked. He was pretty down-to-earth for an artist, and I brought him a beer while Frankie poured some iced tea for her and Sofia. Cameron seemed pretty relaxed here, so I figured he’d been over before. We ended up talking about the UEFA Champions League; he was a big soccer fan.

As the evening went on, it became clear that Cameron was more into Frankie than Sofia: he watched her all evening, touched her every chance he got, and couldn’t shut up about how good her cooking was. Frankie didn’t seem too interested though, and she certainly kept him at arm’s length. They all started arguing about some art show they had seen, and I zoned out. It seemed like Frankie had already met a lot of different guys in L.A., and I wondered if she was doing it to make me jealous. If so, it wasn’t really working because I got the feeling she wasn’t really into any of them.

Afterwards, I gave Frankie my opinion as I helped her load the dishwasher, “I like the Dude better than Gramps, even though he’s pretty weird. But I don’t think either one is right for you.”

“Really?” she asked with eyebrows raised. “Well, maybe you’ll like door number three better.”

BV must have been shooting a used car commercial or something, because I didn’t see her at all when the boys first came back. Then one evening after dinner, I heard the farting exhaust of her old car outside, so I excused myself before she even came in the house. I retreated to my room and put on my noise-cancelling headphones. I figured that I was over the whole jealousy part, but I still found it pretty unpleasant to have to hear Jake in bed with her. Mostly because she was such a bitch, but there was more. When I heard Jake in bed, I kept remembering everything we had done. It took away from what I had thought was special about us having sex, to know that I was only one in a long line of women who had apparently been there and done that. Never got the t-shirt though. However, like a leaking faucet or a sore back, it had begun to bother me less and less. I was out having a great time, so I found it easier to deal with Jake’s love life.

Still wearing the headphones, I went to bed and read. It wasn’t long afterwards that I heard some loud noises, but from the living room rather than Jake’s room. I could hear BV shrieking. It wasn’t her normal sex screaming though; this was different. I pulled off the headphones to listen.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re breaking up with meeee!!!”

There was the noise of something being thrown and breaking. And then more screaming.

“It’s her, isn’t it? That fucking Suzy Homemaker moves in here and suddenly you’re all different. Have you been fucking her already?”

I couldn’t hear what Jake said, his voice was only a low murmur. But suddenly the thin walls were an asset; this was better than reality TV. And I was in the cast too! I sat up in bed and hugged my knees.

“Well you can screw that fat, ugly dwarf and live fucking happily, ever-fucking after!”

Dwarf? Height-challenged, surely. And if she thought I was fat now, she should have seen me before. My guess was that Aspen herself was not looking so pretty right now. I had seen her witch face and it was scary.

“This is fucking ridiculous! You’re just some fucking hick from Canada and you’ve never had it so good.”

Could this marriage be saved? Maybe not.

“Do you want to know how fucking good an actress I am? I never came once with you, you suck in bed, you fat pig! I only went out with you to make connections. I fucking hate you!”

Talk about clichés, using the old you-never-made-me-come was so lame, but she couldn’t use the small penis insult for obvious reasons. Probably it would be wrong for me to pop out right now and offer up that he was good in bed.

There was another loud noise as she threw something else. And then the door slammed, and I heard the sound of her car peeling away. There was a long silence, and I wondered if Jake was okay. Then I heard Luke come out of his room. There was Luke’s low voice and Jake’s murmur back. I debated joining them, but I figured I’d just end up cleaning the mess, in more ways than one. Plus they were close friends and Luke would know what to say. Finally I heard Jake laughing, and I felt relieved. I snuggled under my covers and went to sleep.

61. The Girl Who Played With Fire

Jake

As we drove to the morning skate the next day, I said to Domer, “Last night is another reason why you shouldn’t have a girlfriend. We weren’t even in a relationship, and I had to take all that crap.”

Domer gave me a pained look as he eased onto the freeway. “Yeah, but you’re the only one on the planet who didn’t think you were in a relationship. You saw her a lot, you fucked her regularly, and you took her to a team party. Apparently you are capable of being in a relationship, as long as you can pretend you’re not.”

“I was still sleeping with other girls,” I pointed out to him.

“Whatever, Jakester. I don’t really care what you do. Myself, I prefer things to be honest, but whatever.”

“Yeah but you agree, right? We’re too young to be in serious relationships.”

“Actually I do. Serious ones. “

I didn’t really care that much about all the shit that Aspen said last night, but I was a little embarrassed that Frankie might have heard it all. Aspen said some pretty mean stuff about her, and Frankie was gone before I got up so I wasn’t sure how she took it.

“Do you think Frankie heard everything last night?” I asked Domer.

“I’m pretty sure people as far as Anaheim heard everything last night.”

“I hope she wasn’t upset at all the shit Aspen said about her.”

Domer shook his head. “Frankie hates Aspen, and vice versa. I’m sure Frankie gets that it’s all bullshit.”

“How do you know all this shit?” I wondered. Before last night, Aspen had told me how much she liked Frankie.

“I watch people, I don’t just listen to what they say. She’s leaving in a month, you know.”

“She is?” I guess I knew that, but I hadn’t really thought about it while we were away. In some ways, Frankie was messing with my head and I would be happy when she left, but in other ways I would miss her a lot.

“Yeah, so now that’s you’ve turfed Aspen, are you thinking of going back there?”

“Frankie? No, she’s great, but she’s too serious.”

I felt guilty saying that and I kind of decided I’d try to spend some more time with her, but it wasn’t that easy. We had a game against Detroit that night, and she had gone to bed by the time we got home. Then the next day, when she got home from work, she announced she was going out and went to her room to get ready.

“Is there a crockpot?” I asked Domer.

“No. I told Frankie she doesn’t have to make us dinner when she’s not going to be home to eat it with us. We can fend for ourselves.”

“So, I’ll order pizza?”

“Okay, but let’s make a salad too. I don’t want to be totally unhealthy.”

I was working on the salad when the doorbell rang. I figured it was the pizza guy, so I grabbed my wallet and opened the door. Chris Bauer was standing there, looking sort of nervous.

“Hey, Cookie. How you doing?”

“I’m good, Bear. Come on in.” It wasn’t totally weird that he might drop by, but it wasn’t something he did all the time. He was one of the quieter guys on the team. “You up for dinner? Just pizza, but we ordered the good kind.”

“Actually….” he hesitated, and then Frankie walked into the living room. She looked beautiful; she was wearing a red polka dotted dress I remembered from last summer. Her dark hair was down and curling around her face and her lips were red. She smiled widely, and I smiled back at her. Then I realized she was looking behind me.

“Hi Chris, I’m all set.” She walked over and lifted her head to look up at him, and he smiled down at her. He put a hand on the small of her back, and they walked towards the door.

“Great, let’s go then. See ya, Cookie,” said Bear. Frankie murmured goodbye as well, but she never looked back at me. As they walked to his car, the pizza guy was walking up to the house, so I paid him and took the pizzas into the house.

“The pizza’s here,” I called out to Domer, taking it to the living room. I think he was doing laundry or something.

“Did you know Frankie was going out with Bauer?” I asked him after we started eating.

“She asked me if I thought he was an okay guy, and I told her he was.”

I was flipping through the channels and looking for something decent to watch. It’s pretty amazing how many channels there are, and you still can’t find anything to watch. I finally found a hockey game.

“What?” asked Domer, after a while.

“What, what?”

“You keep grunting and sighing.”

“Dunno.”

There was another long silence. When there was a commercial break, Domer turned to me. “Look, you said you weren’t going back there. Why are you upset now?”

“I don’t know, I guess because he’s a teammate. It’s weird.” But it was more the way she looked at him, like she liked him. “Did they go out before?”

“I don’t know. She asked about him after we got back from the road trip.”

And Bear was a hockey player like me, except he went to college, which would be something that Frankie was into. For dessert we had the rest of a cake that Frankie had made for her dinner party. I was still hungry, so I had a couple of dishes of chocolate ice cream too.

Domer went to bed early, but I wasn’t tired. I was watching game highlights on TV when I heard a noise and muted the sound. I could hear them outside, Frankie giggling and Bear saying something in a low voice. Then it was all quiet, what were they doing now, making out? I waited for a minute and then I couldn’t help myself, I strode over and flung open the door.

Frankie and Bear both looked up at me startled. Frankie had one hand in her giant purse, where she was apparently digging around and trying to find her keys.

“Oh hey, Jake,” Bear said, smiling nervously at me.

“Jake?” Frankie gave me a funny look, and then walked into the house. She turned and motioned to Bear, who was wavering on the porch. “Come on in, I think there’s still some cake left.”