How The Cookie Crumbles (18 page)

He laughed, and I realized that the look on my face must have confirmed his theory. “Plus, completely shaved is better.”

“Better for what?”

“Better for going down on you. For a long, long time.”

He was inches away, watching my face closely, and I tried not to have any reaction to that. Unfortunately, I couldn’t help swallowing nervously. At least I didn’t moan out loud, because I did like having sex and I really liked having orgasms. Who doesn’t? He leaned in and kissed me again, this time pushing his tongue in and really putting a lot into it. He ran his hands down my back and pulled me tight into him. I could feel his body pressing into mine and he was already excited. Yeah, I was kind of excited too, but I really wasn’t sure about this. I pushed away from him and got off the bed.

“No, Jake, this is not a good idea.”

“Relax, Frankie. Why are you always so worried about stuff? Just do what feels good right now.” He looked at me lazily. “Who knows, you might even enjoy yourself.”

“Does sex not mean anything to you? Because it means a lot to me, I mean if we sleep together it will put our relationship in a whole new place. For me anyway.” I shook my head. Maybe he was right, I should just enjoy myself more and not worry so much. But I didn’t feel comfortable for a myriad of reasons.

“Is that what this is about? Frankie, I’m not going to bullshit you and talk about relationships and love, that’s crap. But I do like you, and I don’t know, maybe us being together will make you a little happier.”

“Let’s go and eat, I’m starving.” I told him, yanking him up by the arm.

“So, you’re just going to ignore the fact I have a boner,” he pouted.

“It’s what I’ve been doing all summer.”

“Aw Frankie, it’s not my fault you’re so hot.” He tried to give me his best seductive look, but it certainly wasn’t working.

“Let’s go, an unhealthy dinner awaits.”

“Okay, but we can continue where we left off here, after dinner.”

“Not happening.”

I had made cheeseburgers, fries, and carrots sticks. It sounded like a simple menu, but I dialled it up by using only the best ingredients. I went to the butcher and got him to grind sirloin for me, I got some great Kaiser rolls from the organic bakery, I got a good Swiss cheese, sliced by the deli, and I found some wild mushrooms to sauté. I was double-cooking the fries (hand-cut from Yukon Gold potatoes), which made them extra crispy and good.

Jake looked pretty happy when I put the plate in front of him, and he started eating right away. There was silence for a while.

“This meal is aweshum,” Jake said, his mouth still half full.

“Thank you,” I replied, politely chewing on a small bite of hamburger.

“Like better than any restaurant. I don’t get it, why don’t you cook like this all the time?”

“If I cooked like this all the time, I’d weigh a ton.”

“So?”

“So, I’ve been there and I don’t want to go back.”

Jake kept eating and then he looked at me. “You worry too much. About how you look and what people think of how you look.”

“Oh please, if I was big,” I puffed out my cheeks to demonstrate, “You would not be hitting on me anymore.”

“I wouldn’t care if you put on some weight,” he replied, “And neither would anyone who was your friend.”

I shook my head in disbelief. I had painful experience in this area. But Jake kept going. “I know about this stuff, people try to make you fit their ideals, but I don’t give a shit how much I weigh. As long as I can play hockey well, that’s all I care about. And in the meantime, I enjoy life too.”

“But you lost weight before too!”

“I lost weight before the draft because people were questioning my dedication. I figured that playing over 30 minutes a game was proof of my fitness, but it didn’t seem to be enough, so I went the extra mile. But I didn’t feel like it made me a better player, it only made me more like other players.” He shrugged, and I could see he was completely confident in his opinion. He looked at me carefully, like he might say something else, but then he merely smiled and asked, “Is there dessert?”

“Yes,” I got up and started taking the plates into the kitchen, “Fudge brownie sundaes.”

“Man, just like DQ!”

Only if DQ used Belgian chocolate and toasted pecans.

24. That Fake Girlfriend Thing

Jake

“So, you’re going up to the cottage?” Andrew asked me.

“Yeah, I think I’ll stay up there for the rest of July. Are you not coming up?”

“Sure, now that my course is over, I’ll come up during the week, but I’ll go back weekends – to see Chloë. What about Frankie?”

“What about her?”

The summer was half over and I wanted to kick back before training camp and all that shit. Normally I spent most of my summer at the cottage, but this year I had spent more time in Kingston since Andrew had classes and Tolly was working. And maybe because I liked hanging out with Frankie. While I was in Vegas and L.A., I got to see what normal chicks who were into me were like, and I decided that Frankie wasn’t into me and I wasn’t going to force it. But when I got back, she was so happy to see me, and she made the greatest dinner for me. All the stuff chicks do when they like you, but Frankie was still saying no to sex. She was one weird chick and I did not understand her.

Andrew gave me a shove and started laughing. “I find it ironic that I wanted you to help me get with Chloë by scoring with Frankie, and now I have to help you instead.”

“Fuck off, Alanis. I’m not looking for help with Frankie. It is what it is.”

“Okay, someone’s a little touchy. Can’t be the first time you’ve struck out. Hey, don’t forget, David Little is having a big party in two weeks, that should be good, lots of people from high school and hockey.”

“Yeah okay, I’ll come back for that.” Meantime, I was looking forward to some mindless relaxation.

“So where’s Jake these days?” Chloë asked me while we were on our newest craft kick, crocheting. We had started with doilies, moved on to bikini tops that looked cute on skinny Chloë and pornographic on me. Now we were working on pretty crocheted tunics. It was the perfect craft for working and chatting at the same time.

Chloë had ended up selling three pillows to a colleague at school, who saw them on Instagram and fell in love. Now there was more room on the couch for Rex, who still seemed to be gaining weight. I wasn’t feeding him extra, so perhaps he was catching and feasting on mice. Was he even going to fit into his carrying case for the flight home?

“Jake’s gone to the cottage,” I said grumpily.

“And why the face?”

“We actually had a fight about that. I can’t believe I’m having fights with someone I’m not even going out with!”

“Why did you have a fight?”

“He wanted me to take a week off work and come up to the cottage. That’s ridiculous.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s ridiculous that someone might want you to do something fun.”

“Don’t you start. I have two summer jobs and you don’t get holidays from summer jobs.” Jake had also made it clear that he didn’t want to be just friends anymore, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. It didn’t seem fair to keep hanging out with him if I was just stringing him along. But I did miss him. Life was confusing.

One Friday night, Chloë insisted that I was working way too hard, and I ended up going to some house party with her and Andrew. We were standing in the living room, drinking beer and checking people out.

“Oh shit.” Andrew looked pissed and worried at the same time. He was like Chloë in that you could read every emotion on their faces.

“What’s wrong?” Chloë asked.

“See that girl Jake’s talking to,” he motioned subtly with his head. “That’s Tracey, his girlfriend from high school.” Jake was here? I hadn’t seen him in ages. I looked over and there he was, in jeans and a black t-shirt.

“So?” I wondered. If I saw Adam at a party, I’d talk to him too.

“So? So she’s a bitch and she screwed him over big time. I thought she had moved to Toronto, maybe she’s back visiting someone. And now that he’s a big deal, she’s probably ready to jerk him around some more.”

“Jake’s a big boy, he can handle himself,” I said, shrugging. That was another thing that Andrew and Chloë had in common, meddling in the love lives of their friends.

“No, look at him, it’s like she has some hypnotic power over him,” Andrew declared. We all looked over, but Jake often wore that slightly stunned look, so it was hard to tell. “I can’t stand by and let this happen. Chloë, can you go in there and do something?”

“Me!” squeaked Chloë, “I’m not the kind of person to do something.” They both looked at me.

“What?”

“Well, you do have a history – well-intentioned, of course – of getting involved in other people’s business,” Chloë suggested.

I shook my head. “No way, I’m not interfering in Jake’s love life.”

“Frankie, if I swore on my grandmother’s grave that Tracey was truly evil, and Jake would thank me and you and everyone involved for rescuing him, then would you help?” Andrew pleaded.

I looked over. Tracey was leaning in to talk to Jake and touching him on the thigh for emphasis, flirting for sure. Jake looked slightly wary, but not unhappy. Tracey was hot, she had auburn hair with blonde streaks and a killer bod.

I sighed. “What would I have to do?”

“Why don’t you do that fake girlfriend thing, like in the movies?” Chloë, as usual, was full of creativity when it came to things I had to do.

“I don’t know….” I looked over again and caught Jake’s eye. He gave me a look that I couldn’t interpret. Was it a cry for help? Or indigestion?

“Frankie, that’s what buddies do for each other,” Chloë prompted me.

“Okay, okay.” I smoothed out my teal sundress, then finger-fluffed my hair and licked my lips. “How do I look?” I asked.

“Hot,” Andrew replied and Chloë punched him in the arm.

I strode over and sat on Jake’s lap and then kissed him quickly before he could say a word.

“Darling, I didn’t know where you had gotten to.” I tapped a finger on his nose, “You’re such a bad boy, I have to keep an eye on you all the time.”

“Sorry, Frankie,” he replied, with a slightly mystified smile. And then he wrapped both arms around my waist, resting one hand on my thigh and the other on my ass. Trust Jake to take advantage of any situation.

“I don’t think we’ve met yet,” I told Tracey, who was looking surprised. “I’m Frankie.”

“Hi, I’m Tracey. I was Jake’s first…” she paused dramatically, “…girlfriend.” She seemed less than daunted by me. “He never mentioned he had a girlfriend.”

“Well, that’s just Jake isn’t it? A true gentleman, he’s never mentioned you either.”

“I don’t know if I’d call Jake a gentleman exactly.” She was smiling sexily at Jake. Was she still flirting with him while I was on his lap? For crying out loud, I’d have to go to Defcon 4.

“He’s definitely all man,” I declared in my sexiest voice. I zigzagged a finger down his chest and stopped on his belt buckle.

Jake chuckled. “Ladies, there is enough of me to go around.”

That was for sure.

He didn’t really seem to be appreciating what I was doing for him here, and I cast a suspicious look back at Andrew. If Jake actually liked this chick, then I was going to look like an idiot. Andrew was grinning and gave me a thumbs-up, and Chloë was giggling away beside him. I tried to slide off Jake’s lap onto the seat beside him, but he held me firmly and ran his hand up my thigh for good measure.

“So do you live in L.A. too?” Tracey asked me.

“She does,” Jake responded smoothly. “She’s an actress.”

“Really, because I thought most actresses were taller,” then she looked dismissively at my body, “and thinner.”

What a bi-otch. If Jake went out with her he must have been a masochist. I figured I was built along the lines of Penelope Cruz, who was a very attractive actress. But Tracey was making me feel insecure all over again, and my body slumped a little. I couldn’t think of anything snappy to say back to her. Jake gave my ass a little pinch and I sat up straight.

“Actually, a lot of Frankie’s work has been in the adult film industry.” Jake explained smoothly, “But she’s moving into more mainstream stuff these days.”

Oh my God! Did he just say I was a porn star? I was going to kill him later. Finally an idea was coming to me. “Yes, like hosting a show about cooking.” That would be something I could fake.

“The big difference is that Frankie does all the cooking in a bikini, that’s one of the draws of the show.” Jake was grinning like an idiot, as he got me deeper in the hole.

“A bikini?” Tracey looked surprised, but possibly more at the concept than the idea of me in a bikini.

“Yeah, she wanted to be naked, but there were safety concerns. Or the health code, or something.”

I nodded, while wondering which would be more painful, killing Jake with a dull knife or smearing him with jam and tying him on one of those killer anthills?

“Wow Jake, I’m surprised that you two are a couple. Frankie seems a little… experienced for you.” Tracey concluded.

“She’s very free, that’s what I really like about her.” And he cupped my ass and squeezed it and I had to pretend to smile and enjoy it. “Plus she told me that out of the all the many guys she’s done, I was the best she had ever had, right babe?”