How The Cookie Crumbles (17 page)

“I think he’s in L.A. or Vegas, but wouldn’t you know?”

“Yeah. I just like to look out for his interests, you know, while he’s away.”

What? Like his investment portfolio? “Okay, whatever. See you later, Arnie. Bye, Sean.” I waved at Sean and he saluted us with his beer.

“Bye, Frankie,” Arnie said. “See you when you get back, Vern.”

In contrast to his easy friendliness all evening, Vern didn’t say much as we walked back. When we got to the house, Chloë popped right inside, but I stayed on the porch to say goodbye.

Vern looked up at the house and then down at me. “Okay, well that was fun, eh? See you later.”

“Yeah, that was fun. Maybe we can do it again sometime.”

Vern looked around, now he seemed slightly nervous. “Who knows?”

“Also, I’m at the café near the gym most days.” I suggested. “If you’re ever hungry after a workout, you should stop by.”

He swallowed visibly. “Well, I try to eat clean all the time, so, I don’t think….”

I smiled up at him. “We have water too, bottled and tap. Sometimes we can even be persuaded to give tap water away for free.” Did I need to write my phone number on my forehead next? He obviously wasn’t very good at taking hints, and he muttered something about seeing me around and then took off.

I went inside. Rex was busily prowling around as he did every night before bedtime, like some furry night watchman.

“Keep an eye out for mice. I’m pretty sure there are some more around here,” Chloë urged him. She had this funny way of talking to him as if he were human. Rex seemed to appreciate it though, he hadn’t ever scratched or hissed at her.

I looked at myself in the hall mirror. “Do you think I’m losing it, Chlo?” I wondered, pulling my hair back.

“Losing what?” she asked.

“My attractiveness to men,” I said, making a face. “I think I was hinting pretty hard tonight that I wanted to see Vern again, but he kept ignoring my hints.”

“Gosh, we don’t really know him. Maybe he’s got a girlfriend already.”

“He doesn’t. I asked earlier.”

“Well, maybe he’s not into women, you know, that way.”

“That would be a huge waste. But at first I got the vibe that Vern was interested in me too. I wouldn’t have flirted with him otherwise. Then suddenly, it was like some switch flipped and he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. And you know, come to think of it, that’s not the only thing that’s happened. I met this guy at the farmer’s market, we were both buying fresh herbs, he’s working as an assistant chef. We were having a great conversation about cooking, and I thought he was going to ask me out, but when we introduced ourselves, this is exactly what he said: ‘Frankie Taylor? That sounds familiar… oh shit, I have to go now.’”

I thought it all added up to me losing my touch. I looked in the mirror again. Were those wrinkles around my eyes? Maybe I needed an even higher SPF, but did they even make one higher than 60?

“That’s ridiculous Frank, you’re as gorgeous as ever. These Kingston guys are just weird.” She smiled shyly, “Except one, of course.”

23. Rex and Sex

“Didja miss me?”

I looked up from the back table where I was chopping two tons of walnuts for Elaine. “Jake! You’re back!”

I wiped my hands on my apron and ran up to the front counter. I wanted to give him a hug, but it seemed too awkward at work. I was half-expecting the dapper Super-Jake I had seen on television, but this was regular-Jake, as hairy and rumpled as ever. In fact, I was pretty sure he was wearing exactly the same t-shirt and shorts as when I last saw him two weeks earlier. “When did you get back?”

“Last night.” He grinned from under his baseball cap.

“How did training go?”

“Good, good. Too much hard work. Great to see the guys again though.”

“Sorry that you didn’t win that award,” I said. We saw him lose on the T.V. show. Andrew had come back earlier and told us a little about what happened. Although he kept repeating irritatingly, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” I felt that was just a dumb way of excusing whatever excesses they had gotten up to. I hope Chloë got medical certification before she went any further with him.

Jake shrugged, he didn’t look particularly unhappy. I had missed him, it wasn’t that exciting around here once Chloë was busy with Andrew. And it wasn’t like I had any other social life. I did extra shifts at work, and kept busy working out and sewing, but life had been a little boring. Jake was definitely fun.

“So, I think you owe me a dinner,” Jake grinned confidently at me.

“Sure, I have it all planned out already.”

He lifted an eyebrow, “Of course you do, Frankie. When?”

“Well, let’s see. I’m off tomorrow night, so that would work. I’m here in the daytime, but I’m off at 2:00, so that’s lots of time. Would that suit you?”

“Sure, I don’t have any plans. What time?”

“7:00.”

“Okay, and remember, just stuff I like, right? Not that healthy crap.”

“Sure, I’m serving tofurky, steamed broccoli and yam fries.”

“Frankie!” Jake looked pained. I brought out his Diet Coke and he left, still complaining.

Elaine came over while I was finishing the walnuts. “So are you banging the Big Burrito now?”

“Excuse me?”

She laughed, “I thought you were getting it on with Mr. Fancy-pants, but maybe the Big Burrito is the better choice.”

I didn’t even know where to begin correcting her, so I went along with this. “Why?”

“He looks like he’d be a dirty boy, up for anything.” She cackled loudly at this notion.

“Well, I wouldn’t know, I’m just friends with the Big… I mean, Jake.”

“Ain’t no such thing, darlin’. Even if that’s what you think, he wants to jump your bones. Anyway, why bother? You’ve got girlfriends if you want to talk, you should use men the way nature intended.”

Why did everything have to be about sex and dating? I finished the last of the walnuts with a flourish and Elaine raised one over-plucked eyebrow. “And if you were getting some, Frankie, you wouldn’t need to chop the poor nuts so hard!”

The next afternoon was as hot as ever. Now that it was July, the Ontario weather seemed to get hot and stay hot until a thunderstorm occurred, then it was hot and muggy. I had just finished the first cooking of the French fries, when there was a knock on the door. Chloë and Andrew had gone out to dinner and a late movie, a plan that had mysteriously emerged when she found out that Jake was coming over for dinner. Even after I assured her twenty times that nothing was going to happen.

Jake was standing in the doorway with wilting flowers and a six-pack of beer. “Hey,” he said smiling.

“Hey,” I said, smoothing down my apron over my shorts. “You’re like an hour early.”

“I thought maybe I could help or something,” he pushed his way in and started sniffing. “It smells good in here, not like tofurky.”

“I don’t think tofurky even has a smell,” I didn’t know for sure since I had never actually had tofurky, but tofu didn’t smell unless it was going bad. I put the flowers in water, they were a colourful daisy mix. Jake helped himself to a beer and sat down at the kitchen table.

All the cooking had made me hot and sweaty and I wasn’t ready at all. Who ever heard of coming so early? “Um, look, the food is all prepped,” I told him, “But I was just going to take a shower and get ready now.”

“Great! I knew there was something I could help you with!”

“You can just watch TV or something,” I told him, leaving the room.

“Are you sure? Because I could scrub your back… or your front.”

Did this guy never let up? I shook my head, and when I got to the bathroom I locked the door.

After my shower, I felt refreshed and more relaxed. I put on a yellow halter-top and a pair of black capris. My bedroom door was partially ajar, and Jake poked his head in.

“Can I come in?” He reminded me of a little kid, following me around.

“Um, sure.” I was dressed except for shoes, just fixing my hair and makeup.

He walked in and he had Rex cradled like a baby in one arm and he was scratching his tummy. That was like a freaking miracle, since Rex hated everyone but me. I looked over and Rex blinked his upside-down eyes at me calmly. Was this some kind of sign? Perhaps a sign of the apocalypse.

“Do you have meat in your pocket or something?” I asked Jake, mystified.

“Why Frankie, I thought you’d never ask.” He grinned at me. “Reach right in and feel for yourself.”

“No! I only meant, how did you get Rex to be so….” I didn’t even know the word. Gentle? Friendly? Nice?

Jake looked down at him, “His name is Rex?” Another tummy rub and Rex closed his eyes. “Animals like me.”

He started looking around my room, and examined the to do list on my desk and the photos on my bulletin board.

“Is this your family? You’ve got two brothers?”

“Yeah, both taller than me, but younger. Glen and Allan. Actually they’re big hockey fans.” They would probably be impressed that Jake was in my room, although not as impressed as if I got tickets and took them to games.

“I’ve got two older sisters. Oh yeah, you already met them. Wow, your girlfriends are all cute.” He was peering at a photo of me with Bianca and Lauren, and another from a party. “Of course, you are the cutest,” he added.

“Um, thanks.” I didn’t know if he meant that or it was just another attempt to butter me up and get into my pants.

It didn’t take long to look around my room, since it wasn’t really my room and I didn’t have much personal stuff around. Jake put Rex down on the bed, pushed his shoes off and then lay down as well. Rex curled up on the pillow beside him.

“Ahh, this is relaxing.” He had his hands behind his head and his eyes were closed.

“What, after a hard day of gaming?”

“I went shopping too,” Jake defended himself lazily. “You’re the one who worked all day, maybe you should join me here.”

“On the bed?”

“Yeah,” he patted the space beside him. He took up a lot of the double bed though and there wasn’t much room.

“Let me guess, it’s also hot in here, so I should join you on the bed, but maybe take off my clothes first.” I snorted and finished applying my eyeliner.

“Well, if you insist.”

“Not happening, Jake.” I started doing my lips, lining them first, applying lipstick and finally gloss. I noticed he was watching me with a half-smile, and I also noticed he was looking a little furry. “Hey, you’ve got cat hair all over your t-shirt.”

He was wearing a black t-shirt with some skulls and spirally graphics on it. And he had plaid shorts on and black ankle socks. If he were my boyfriend I would have trashed half his wardrobe. I reached into a drawer and pulled out my lint brush and tossed it to him. He sat up and started using it all wrong and brushing more lint onto himself.

“Why does it not surprise me that you’ve never seen a lint brush before?” I asked, coming over and taking over the de-linting process. I ran the brush down the front of his t-shirt and Jake watched me with a little smile on his face. I was sitting on the edge of the bed beside him, and when I finished he grabbed my wrist.

“I could help you Frankie, you know, with your problem.” He was looking at me intently, but it wasn’t really desire in his eyes it was something more.

“My problem?”

“Yeah, I can see you’ve got some issues… around sex. Maybe you had some bad experiences, and now you’re afraid.”

“I’m afraid of sex?”

“Don’t worry, I mean, I’m just good at seeing stuff. I’m sure nobody else notices.” He smiled at me encouragingly, like you would coax a timid animal. He ran his hand up my arm. “Sex can be really fun.”

I started to laugh and I could not stop. Jake was looking at me, puzzled.

“Please don’t worry,” I was still laughing. “I have had some great sexual experiences. Really great,” I repeated.

“In that case, why do you keep resisting me?”

He put his arm around me, pulled me towards him and kissed me wetly. His lips were soft and moist, but his stubble was scratchy. His chest felt strong and solid. Everything was nice, but I really wasn’t into this. I pushed Jake away. Rex glared at us and then left in a huff, the bed not being big enough for the three of us.

“Look Jake, I’m sorry but this is not happening. It’s not a good time for me. I used to think I knew exactly what I wanted, but now, I don’t have a clue.” I lay on my back, looking up at the ceiling, and Jake kept holding my hand. “I broke up with my boyfriend in April, we’d been going out pretty seriously. He dumped me, and then immediately started dating someone I knew, it was a mess and I came here to get away from it all. And then I went out with Liam, and that was dumb too.” I sighed and closed my eyes.

“Poor kid.” He stroked my hair and I felt like I was Rex. I leaned against Jake and closed my eyes. He felt big and comforting, like a giant teddy bear. Maybe I should get with him, I mean why not? It seemed like everyone was conspiring to put us together: Chloë, Elaine, Rex. I was the only one fighting it.

I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was so nice and funny and laid back. If only I were attracted to him things would be perfect. I mean, it wasn’t that I found him unattractive, only that I didn’t feel like jumping him like I did Matt. Or Liam, or even Vern. What was that special something that made some people appeal to us?

I looked at his beard-thingy speculatively. Maybe that was it; I had never liked guys with beards. “I like you better without a beard or a goatee or whatever this is,” I told him, remembering his TV appearance.

He chuckled. “I like me with a beard. But Frankie, I’ll let you shave me on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“I get to shave you too.”

“What!” Did he mean what I thought he meant? By the look on his face, he did.

“It only seems fair,” he said grinning widely.

I pulled away, and stared. “How do you know I’m not already, you know, shaved down there?”

“I live in Hollywood, you know. I’ve got some experience of these things.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“Nope. I have imagined you naked and I think you’ll be trimmed and not shaved.”