Hotel Vendome (18 page)

“I think it’s her age. And going away to school. The same thing happened to my nieces when they went to Stanford. Going away matures them.”

“And makes me feel old,” he added. He was still sorry that Heloise hadn’t had more time to get to know Natalie. He desperately wanted Heloise to like her, and they had barely met.

They went out to dinner at La Goulue on Madison Avenue that night and had a relaxed dinner in a setting they both enjoyed, and then they walked back to the hotel. He didn’t want to go to Natalie’s in case Heloise came home early. They had a nightcap upstairs, and Natalie left before midnight. Heloise came in long after he was asleep, at four.

She looked a little tired the next morning at breakfast, and he didn’t dare bring up Natalie’s name again. He didn’t want to tip his hand by looking too determined about it.

“What are you up to today?” he asked her offhandedly.

“I’m going skating with friends in Central Park. And another party downtown tonight. Everybody’s home from college for Christmas,” she said reasonably, and he was beginning to realize he was going to have to stand in line for her time. The chances of spending an evening with her and Natalie, getting to know each other, were less than slim. There were too many other things she wanted to do in her limited amount of time.

By Christmas Eve there had been not a single break in Heloise’s busy schedule for them to meet again. He was meeting Natalie for lunch to exchange presents, and she was leaving for Philadelphia that night. She was coming to the hotel to see him, and then they were having lunch downstairs. And Natalie arrived at the apartment promptly at noon. Heloise was just about to go out to meet friends again.

“Oh, hi,” she said as she saw the interior designer at the door to the apartment and didn’t know what she was doing there. She looked at Natalie with a blank expression. She clearly suspected nothing between her and Hugues.

“Merry Christmas,” Natalie said, smiling at her. “I’m having lunch with your father.”

“I think he’s downstairs, in his office.” As she said it, Hugues walked in. He was both pleased and nervous to see the two women in his life together and wondered what had been said. He gave Natalie a friendly peck on the cheek as he would have to any friend. “Hi, Papa. I’m going out,” Heloise said, putting on her coat.

“So I see. No parties tonight, I hope. Let’s spend a quiet evening together, like old times. And midnight mass.”

“Of course,” she said, as though she wouldn’t have considered doing otherwise, but so far she had been out every night. And she was leaving in six days. The visit had been crowded and rushed, but he was grateful that she was there. Just living in the same apartment with her again and seeing her every morning warmed his heart. She opened the door then, smiled at them both, said “Bye” to Natalie, and was gone.

Hugues looked unhappy after she left. “I’ve hardly seen her since she’s been back,” he complained to Natalie, who still had spent no time with Natalie at all. The hope that they would get to know each other had vanished into thin air.

“You think you’ll have time to tell her about us before she goes back?” Natalie asked, looking somewhat concerned. “I feel a little dishonest not having her know. She’s such an important part of your life, she deserves that respect.”
And so do I
, Natalie thought but didn’t say it. She felt as though they were sneaking around and not being open with his daughter, and she was uncomfortable about it.

“I know she deserves to know,” he agreed with her, and he still had no idea how Heloise would take it. As far as she was concerned, Natalie was just someone who had done work for the hotel and nothing more. How she’d feel about Natalie being important to her father now was impossible to assess. “I have to have enough time with her to tell her about us, and I can’t tell her on Christmas Eve. And she’s leaving in less than a week after that.” That also didn’t give him enough time to calm her down and let her adjust to the idea if she was upset. It was a mess. “I’ll do the best I can,” he said, and put his arms around Natalie, but he could see that she was disappointed too.

“I guess it’s hard in a situation like this when she’s away at school. But it also doesn’t feel right to me to be involved with each other, and say nothing to her.” They had started sleeping together around Thanks giving, but in effect they had been dating since September, and it was already Christmas Eve. “There’s a sneaky feel to all this that I don’t like. Maybe you just need to tell her, and let her get used to the idea when she goes back to school.”

“I don’t want to do that,” Hugues said firmly. “It would be different if I’d ever been serious with another woman before, but I haven’t. This is a first, and it’s liable to be a big deal to her.” It was to him.

“It’s a big deal to me too,” Natalie said sadly, “and I’m a firm believer in truth in packaging. We’re in love with each other. That’s not a crime.” But they both knew it might be to Heloise. Natalie hoped not, but as tight as Hugues’s relationship had been with his daughter, this was an unusual situation and harder to predict.

“Just let me find the right time to tell her before she leaves. I promise I will,” he assured her, and after that they both made an effort to speak of other things. He had lunch sent up for them, instead of going downstairs, so they could be alone, and after they finished, he kissed her and gave her his gift. Natalie loved the locket, thanked him profusely, and put it on immediately. She was sorry she had made such a fuss about telling Heloise about them, but it was unnerving for her to remain a secret from his daughter. She wanted to be open about it, and make friends with her, and that hadn’t happened yet. And then she gave him her gift. She had bought him a very good-looking set of leather-bound books that were all first editions of the French classics that he referred to so often. There were twenty of them, and they were a beautiful collection that he was proud to own.

They sat and cuddled after that, and he was aching to make love to her, but on the off chance that Heloise might come home, they didn’t dare. Natalie had to leave at three o’clock to catch the train to Philadelphia and was coming back in two days. There would still be time for her to have lunch or dinner with Heloise, if Hugues could find an opportune moment to explain the situation to her.

He kissed her tenderly when she left, and they wished each other a merry Christmas, and then he went back to his office. He didn’t see Heloise again until six o’clock that night, and she was true to her word and spent a quiet evening with him. They had dinner in the dining room, went back upstairs after that, and went to midnight mass at St. Patrick’s, and when they got back from church, she had a call from her mother in London. Miriam said she was up early getting things ready for the children, and she wanted to wish Heloise and her father a merry Christmas.

“Thanks, Mom,” Heloise said pleasantly. Her mother knew she had been in Lausanne since September but hadn’t invited her to London and said she was too busy. Greg and his band were cutting a new album. The conversation was brief, and Heloise sat quietly for a moment after she hung up. Talking to her mother always left her feeling empty. She tried to explain it to her father, and he felt sad for her. Miriam never failed to disappoint her. She was the classic narcissist and a totally inadequate mother. “I guess we were lucky that we were alone together for all these years.” She smiled sadly at her father. “I can’t imagine what life would have been like with her. I don’t even remember when you two were married.” She had been too young to still remember it now. “And I guess it was lucky too that you never remarried,” she said, and smiled at him, as a tremor went through him, knowing what he did now, although he and Natalie had no plans to marry. It was all too new, but he could already imagine spending the rest of his life with her, with Heloise’s approval. It was a big leap for him, in contrast to his past fifteen years of refusing to commit or get seriously involved. “I like having you to myself,” Heloise said honestly. “I don’t think I’d have wanted to share you.” It was a big statement for her to make now, and it unnerved Hugues a little.

“And now?” he asked her quietly, watching her eyes.

She laughed at the question since it wasn’t an issue. “I don’t want to share you now either. I like being the only woman in your life, Papa.”

“And what happens when you fall in love and get married one day?” It was an honest question.

“Then we’ll all live here together, and live happily ever after. But I like it this way for now.” She had no plans to marry Francois. They were both too young. The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind.

Hugues sighed as he listened to her, and she didn’t notice the sadness in his eyes. There was no way he could tell her about Natalie now, after what she had just said. He suspected it would cause a real explosion and a rift between them he didn’t want. He didn’t want to hurt his daughter. Her mother had given her enough pain for a lifetime.

“Then you’d better come home and be the woman in my life,” he teased her to lighten the moment. “If you stay in Paris with Francois, I’m coming to get you.” Heloise laughed when he said it, and she reassured him a moment later.

“Don’t worry, Papa. I’m coming home for good next Christmas. I promise.” She moved closer to him then on the couch and put an arm around him. “I’m going to be your girl forever.” She had been all her life, and in her mind nothing had changed. It was inconceivable to her that there was any other woman in his life. There was no sign of it. “I love you, Papa,” she said softly as she leaned her head on her father’s shoulder. Unlike her mother, in her entire life he had never let her down.

“I love you too,” he whispered, and pulled her closer, feeling as though he had betrayed Natalie by not telling his daughter about her. But his first allegiance was to Heloise, always had been and always would be. It was the old saying that blood was thicker than water. And the bond they shared was more powerful than any other.

Chapter 11

WHEN NATALIE CAME back to New York the day after Christmas, Hugues said he was taking Heloise to the theater that night. It was the most successful new play of the season, and they both wanted to see it. He would have loved to invite Natalie, but he didn’t dare. He had realized on Christmas Eve that there was no way he could tell Heloise about his romance with Natalie before she left. Not after what she had said that night, about wanting to be the only woman in his life. In light of that, Natalie was not likely to be a good surprise. And he didn’t want to risk it.

He didn’t see Natalie again until the night Heloise left, which had been a sorrowful parting for them. He had promised to come to Europe for her Easter vacation and take her to Rome. It was almost four months away, which was a long time for them both, but it would have been hard for him to get away before that, and she was busy with school in Lausanne.

Her eyes filled with tears when he left her at the airport, and he choked up, and he had the car stop at Natalie’s apartment on the way back. She was surprised to see him. She had tried not to be upset about how busy and unavailable he had been while Heloise was there. The last time she had seen him was for lunch on Christmas Eve, six days before, which was a long span for them to be apart.

“Do you hate me?” he asked, as he followed her into the apartment when she let him in.

“Don’t be silly. Why would I hate you?” She smiled at him, but she seemed cooler to him than the last time he’d seen her, when they exchanged their gifts. He was happy to observe that she was wearing the locket he had given her.

“Because I didn’t tell my daughter about us?” he answered her question. He felt guilty about it, and a little bit dishonest with Heloise. “After church on Christmas Eve, she told me that she loves being the only woman in my life. It was tough trying to tell her about you after that. I think she’ll need more time to adjust to it than a few days before she leaves. You’re going to be a big surprise to her.”

“I was hoping to be a good one,” Natalie said, still looking disappointed, “not a major trauma.” It was an unpleasant situation to be in and not the role she wanted. She wanted to make friends with Heloise, not destroy her life. “When are you seeing her again?”

“Not till Easter. I’m taking her to Rome for her school vacation. Maybe I can tell her then.”

“And not before?”

“I don’t think I should say something like that over the phone or by e-mail. And by then we’ll have spent more time together, which isn’t such a bad thing,” he rationalized. If the relationship had fallen apart by then, then he wouldn’t have to tell her at all and would never have upset her. Natalie understood the implication.

“Why? So I can audition?” She was starting to look angry then and seriously upset. She had no intention of auditioning for him. She loved him and believed that he loved her.

“You don’t have to audition for me,” he said, looking upset. “You have to understand, my daughter virtually never had a mother. I’m all she has in terms of family. Anyone entering that inner circle is bound to be a threat to her. You know how kids are.” He was struggling to justify a most unusual situation, and although Natalie was sensitive to it, not all the component parts made sense to her.

“She’s not a kid, Hugues,” Natalie said quietly. “She’s nineteen. Some people have their own children by then. My mother did. And I am trying to understand it, but it’s a weird situation for me. I don’t like being a secret. We’re not doing anything wrong, and it puts a huge burden on us. We can’t even move around the hotel freely, in case someone tells her. That’s not how I live. I’m an honest woman, and I love you. I’m willing to make allowances for this, but I want you to know that I’m not going to stay hidden forever.” She was being totally clear with him.

“And I don’t want you to,” he insisted. “Just give me till Easter. I’ll tell her when I’m in Europe with her. I promise.” She smiled at him slowly then. It was a bit of a crazy situation, but sometimes life was crazy. “Do you still love me?” he asked as he moved closer to her, and she smiled at him.