Horrid Henry and the Mummy's Curse (5 page)

Thursday was his class swimming day. Henry had a nagging feeling that this Thursday was even worse than all the other awful Thursdays.

Horrid Henry liked the bus ride to the pool. Horrid Henry liked doing the dance of the seven towels in the changing room. He also liked hiding in the lockers, throwing socks in the pool, and splashing everyone.

The only thing Henry didn’t like about going swimming was…swimming.

The truth was, Horrid Henry hated water. Ugggh! Water was so…wet! And soggy. The chlorine stung his eyes. He never knew what horrors might be lurking in the deep end. And the pool was so cold penguins could fly in for the winter.

Fortunately, Henry had a brilliant list of excuses. He’d pretend he had warts, or a tummy ache, or had lost his swimsuit. Unfortunately, the mean, nasty, horrible swimming teacher, Soggy Sid, usually made him get in the pool anyway.

Then Henry would duck Dizzy Dave, or splash Weepy William, or pinch Gorgeous Gurinder, until Sid ordered him out. It was not surprising that Horrid Henry had never managed to get his five-meter badge.

Arrrgh! Now he remembered. Today was test day. The terrible day when everyone had to show how far they could swim. Aerobic Al was going for gold. Moody Margaret was going for silver. The only ones who were still trying for their five-meter badges were Lazy Linda and Horrid Henry. Five whole meters! How could anyone swim such a vast distance?

If only they were tested on who could sink to the bottom of the pool the fastest, or splash the most, or spit water the farthest, then Horrid Henry would have every badge in a jiffy. But no. He had to leap into a freezing cold pool, and, if he survived that shock, somehow thrash his way across five whole meters without drowning.

Well, there was no way he was going to school today.

Mom came into his room.

“I can’t go to school today, Mom,” Henry moaned. “I feel terrible.”

Mom didn’t even look at him.

“Thursday-itis again, I presume,” said Mom.

“No way!” said Henry. “I didn’t even know it was Thursday.”

“Get up, Henry,” said Mom. “You’re going swimming and that’s that.”

Perfect Peter peeked around the door.

“It’s badge day today!” he said. “I’m going for fifty meters!”

“That’s great, Peter,” said Mom. “I bet you’re the best swimmer in your class.”

Perfect Peter smiled modestly.

“I just try my best,” he said. “Good luck with your five-meter badge, Henry,” he added.

Horrid Henry growled and attacked. He was a Venus flytrap slowly mashing a frantic fly between his deadly leaves.

“Eeeeeowwww!” screeched Peter.

“Stop being horrid, Henry!” screamed Mom. “Leave your poor brother alone!”

Horrid Henry let Peter go. If only he could find some way not to take his swimming test he’d be the happiest boy in the world.

* * *

Henry’s class arrived at the pool. Okay, thought Henry. Time to unpack his excuses to Soggy Sid.

“I can’t go swimming, I’ve got a wart,” lied Henry.

“Take off your sock,” ordered Soggy Sid.

Rats, thought Henry.

“Maybe it’s better now,” said Henry.

“I thought so,” said Sid.

Horrid Henry grabbed his stomach.

“Tummy pains!” he moaned. “I feel terrible.”

“You seemed fine when you were prancing around the pool a moment ago,” snapped Sid. “Now get changed.”

Time for the killer excuse.

“I forgot my swimsuit!” said Henry. This was his best chance of success.

“No problem,” said Soggy Sid. He handed Henry a bag. “Put on one of these.”

Slowly, Horrid Henry rummaged in the bag. He pulled out a bikini top, a blue suit with a hole in the middle, a pair of pink underpants, a tiny pair of green trunks, a polka-dot one piece with bunnies, see-through white shorts, and a diaper.

“I can’t wear any of these!” protested Horrid Henry.

“You can and you will, if I have to put them on you myself,” snarled Sid.

Horrid Henry squeezed into the green trunks. He could barely breathe. Slowly, he joined the rest of his class pushing and shoving by the side of the pool.

Everyone had millions of badges sewn all over their suits. You couldn’t even see Aerobic Al’s bathing suit beneath the stack of badges.

“Hey you!” shouted Soggy Sid. He pointed at Weepy William. “Where’s your swimsuit?”

Weepy William glanced down and burst into tears.

“Waaaaah,” he wailed and ran weeping back to the changing room.

“Now get in!” ordered Soggy Sid.

“But I’ll drown!” screamed Henry. “I can’t swim!”

“Get in!” screamed Soggy Sid.

Good-bye, cruel world. Horrid Henry held his breath and fell into the icy water. ARRRRGH! He was turning into an iceberg!

He was dying! He was dead! His feet flailed madly as he sank down, down, down—clunk! Henry’s feet touched the bottom.

Henry stood up, choking and spluttering. He was waist-deep in water.

“Linda and Henry! Swim five meters—now!”

What am I going to do? thought Henry. It was so humiliating not even being able to swim five meters! Everyone would tease him. And he’d have to listen to them bragging about their badges! Wouldn’t it be great to get a badge? Somehow?

Lazy Linda set off, very very slowly. Horrid Henry grabbed onto her leg. Maybe she’ll pull me across, he thought.

“Ugggh!” gurgled Lazy Linda.

“Leave her alone!” shouted Sid. “Last chance, Henry.”

Horrid Henry ran along the pool’s bottom and flapped his arms, pretending to swim.

“Did it!” said Henry.

Soggy Sid scowled.

“I said swim, not walk!” screamed Sid. “You’ve failed. Now get over to the far lane and practice. Remember, anyone who stops swimming during the test doesn’t get a badge.”

Horrid Henry stomped over to the far lane. No way was he going to practice! How he hated swimming! He watched the others splashing up and down, up and down. There was Aerobic Al, doing his laps like a bolt of lightning. And Moody Margaret. And Kung-Fu Kate. Everyone would be getting a badge but Henry. It was so unfair.

“Pssst, Susan,” said Henry. “Have you heard? There’s a shark in the deep end!”

“Oh yeah, right,” said Sour Susan. She looked at the dark water in the far end of the pool.

“Don’t believe me,” said Henry. “Find out the hard way. Come back with a leg missing.”

Sour Susan paused and whispered something to Moody Margaret.

“Shut up, Henry,” said Margaret. They swam off.

“Don’t worry about the shark,

Andrew,” said Henry. “I think he’s already eaten today.”

“What shark?” said Anxious Andrew.

Andrew stared at the deep end. It did look awfully dark down there.

“Start swimming, Andrew!” shouted Soggy Sid.

“I don’t want to,” said Andrew.

“Swim! Or I’ll bite you myself!” snarled Sid.

Andrew started swimming.

“Dave, Ralph, Clare, and Bert—start swimming!” bellowed Soggy Sid.

“Look out for the shark!” said Horrid Henry. He watched Aerobic Al tearing up and down the lane. “Gotta swim, gotta swim, gotta swim,” muttered Al between strokes.

What a show-off, thought Henry. Wouldn’t it be fun to play a trick on him?

Horrid Henry pretended he was a crocodile. He sneaked under the water to the middle of the pool and waited until Aerobic Al swam overhead. Then Horrid Henry reached up.

Pinch! Henry grabbed Al’s thrashing leg.

“AAAARGGG!” screamed Al. “Something’s grabbed my leg. Help!” Aerobic Al leaped out of the pool.

Tee hee, thought Horrid Henry.

“It’s a shark!” screamed Sour Susan. She scrambled out of the pool.

“There’s a shark in the pool!” screeched Anxious Andrew.

“There’s a shark in the pool!” howled Rude Ralph.

Everyone was screaming and shouting and struggling to get out.

The only one left in the pool was Henry.

Shark!

Horrid Henry forgot there were no sharks in swimming pools.

Horrid Henry forgot
he’d
started the shark rumor.

Horrid Henry forgot he couldn’t swim.

All he knew was that he was alone in the pool—with a shark!

Horrid Henry swam for his life. Shaking and quaking, splashing and crashing, he torpedoed his way to the side of the pool and scrambled out.