Honey Flavored Tears (5 page)

“P
yo, it’s really time for you to find a new club,” Ava said with a serious look on her face.

“Whatever hating ass hoe,” Pierre said causing us both to crack up. Ava looked back at me.

“So are you going too?” Ava asked.

“Yeah,” I replied.

“Oh ok so I see we got a new Rainbow buddy,” Ava said.

“Oh no, she’s strictly
dickly she’s just coming along to have fun that’s all,” Pierre said.

“Well no disrespect
ma but when the ladies see you tonight they gone be all over you,” Ava replied.

“Well damn bitch just make the girl feel uncomfortable,” Pierre said. I couldn’t help but to laugh.

“I’m just saying,” Ava said.

I laughed and said, “
It’s okay attention is better than having no attention at all. I’m about to go take one more look at myself before we leave.” I walked back into my room and looked at myself in my full length mirror. I had on an all black silk skimpy halter top dress that hugged my breast and ass. I had on my black Christian Louboutin shoes to match with my all black Gucci purse. I had on black and silver accessories to finish off the touches. My hair was swooped to the side in some big loose curls. Yes I guess Ava was right. All eyes may be on me tonight because I was feeling good and looking good. This is exactly what I deserved to help get my mind off everything that has been going on. But I couldn’t lie; I did miss Quincy like hell. Even after all of the back and forth he put me through, it was just his presence that I missed. I pulled my Iphone out of my purse and scrolled down to his number. I contemplated for a couple of seconds if this was I wanted to do. I knew that we would probably never be the same like we use to be but it was worth a try getting our friendship back.

Without another thought I dialed the number and placed the phone to my ear. After a couple of rings I heard, “Hello.” The sound of his voice sent a chill through my pussy and my heart skipped a beat and begin rising in my throat.

“Hello,” he said again.

A part of me was screaming to hang up the phone and the other part of me
was just saying talk to him.

“Hello,” he said getting frustrated at the sound of silence as a response. After a couple of seconds he hung up the phone.

“Damn Jai, how long does it take you to look at yourself in the mirror?” Pierre yelled out from the living room snapping me back into reality.

“Okay I’m coming!” I yelled out.
I took one last look at myself in the mirror then headed back out to the living room to leave.

Ava ended up coming along with us to Dream 4.
The scene was live but it just wasn’t something I could get into. Half the reason was because I didn’t know anyone there but Pierre and the other reason was because I was beating myself up on the inside for calling Quincy. It was time that I just moved on, it would be hard because I didn’t want to learn anyone else and have to go through the interview question stage. I felt comfortable with Quincy but it hurt that his heart wasn’t comfortable with me.

“Girl
, didn’t your parents tell you that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile,” Ava said as she walked up behind me. I was confused at what she was saying. She sucked her teeth and pushed my sad face up into a smile with her hands. “See that’s better,” she said causing me to laugh. “Why do you look so down?” She asked.

“No reason, I guess I just can’t seem to get into
the party mood tonight and Pierre done left me over here by myself,” I replied as I looked over at Pierre dancing on another guy shaking my head at him and chuckling.

“Well look
, how about I party with you to make you feel comfortable?” Ava suggested. Right then and there my favorite song by Chris Brown and Big Sean “Paper, Scissor, Rock” came on.

“That would be a good idea,” I said. We headed over to the dance floor and begin dancing.
I was starting to enjoy myself. Ava kept me laughing and she was the life of the party, other girls surrounded her. I just danced and cheered her on.

 
I felt my phone vibrate against my breast. I pulled it out and there was a message from Quincy. My heart paused and my eyes got real big. Big enough for Ava to notice.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

  I snapped back to reality. “Nothing, nothing I’ll be right back. I got to head to the bathroom.” I marched over to a corner in the club and opened the message. He wanted to know if it was me. I hesitated to text back then finally said forget it and replied anyway saying yes it is, this is my new number.

 
A couple of seconds later my phone vibrated again with a message from him saying that he missed me a lot. My heart began to pound against my chest as my throat got tied up. Here I go again playing myself. I texted back saying I missed him too. He had me right where he wanted me once again.

                                                              

  
Last night felt like a dream but real at the same time. I woke up feeling like I was on cloud nine-thousand but why was I so happy? It’s not like anything really changed for me, Quincy was still with Zariah and I was still stuck on trying to move past that. I reached for my phone and realized I had a text message from him that came in at 4 this morning.
Damn were we texting since I came from the club?
I thought to myself as I opened the message to read it. The message said he would meet me at the poetry slam tonight. I didn’t even remember texting him saying I wanted to go, but hey what the heck it would be fun. That was like our friendship tradition to always go to the poetry slam at Café Sensations every once and a while when we needed to just relax and get away from the drama and pain that was going on in our life. It was always good to surround ourselves around people who expressed their emotions into poetry, we felt like we could relate to them. I just didn’t know how I would be able to be around Quincy now since he was the one causing my pain. What could our hearts relate to now; does he even feel the same pain that I feel?

 
I texted back okay see you tonight then placed my phone back on my dresser next to me. Right then and there I heard a light knock at my door. “Come in,” I said loud enough for the person on the other side to hear. My door slowly opened and Ava poked her head into the room.

“Hey girl I didn’t know you was still here,” I said as I sat up in my bed.

“Yeah I’m just now waking up, I never sleep this late
,” Ava replied.

“This late, what time is it?” I asked as I furrowed my eyebrows up
.

“It’s going on four
in the afternoon,” Ava said in return.

“Oh I got to get going,” I said as I jumped out of the bed. The poetry slam starts at 6 and I didn’t want to have Quincy waiting.
I had to admit he put me through a lot in these past two years but I would still be there for him if he needed me, I’m human.

“Is there something wrong?
” Ava asked looking confused at this point.

“No, I just got to meet up with someone tonight at the poetry slam and it starts at 6
.”

“Oh wow, I’ve never been to one of those before but I’ve always wanted to go because I love poetry,” Ava said. I looked up at her and I knew she wanted to ask if she could come along. A part of me only wanted it to just be Quincy and me, so we could talk for once about everything that went down and how we can get on better terms, but another part of me didn’t want to be mean to Ava because I knew since this was her first time she would really enjoy herself.

“You’re more than welcome to come along if you want,” I said in return with a sincere smile on my face.

“Are you sure because I don’t want to intrude with you and your company tonight?” Ava asked.

“Trust me Ava it will be okay, I want you to come,” I replied causing Ava to smile harder. With her being there, being around Quincy wouldn’t be so awkward because I didn’t know how ready I was to be around him just yet.

“So where is Pierre?” I asked as I walked out into the living room.

“He’s still over that guy house that he met at the club last night.”

“Are you serious?” I asked shocked because Pierre wasn’t the type to stay overnight with someone then spend the whole day with
them as well.

Ava chuckled and said in return, “
Girl tell me about it I said the same thing when he called me this morning. That guy must’ve really put it on his ass.”

“Literally,” we both said in unison then shared a laugh together.
We took turns getting ready to head out. I had to admit I was nervous to meet up with Quincy tonight but I wanted to look my best so he could know he made the wrong choice. Call me petty but l had to do what I had to do to let him know I wasn’t stressing, I can do bad all by my damn self. I put on my tightest hip hugging dark blue jeans, a white dressy shirt that draped down into a V showing off my cleavage. I placed my brown wedge heels on that zipped up in the front showing off my French manicure I had did the night before we went to the club. My hair was pinned up in a cute sloppy bun seeing that my curls fell the night before, decorated with my medium size silver hoop earrings. I wanted to look sexy but simple so that trying to impress him would be a disguise.

“Wow you look beautiful,” I heard Ava say. I turned around to see her standing in my doorway. She had
on some light blue skinny jeans with a polo shirt on that was buttoned in the middle showing off her black camisole under it.

“Thank you,” I said smiling shyly.

“Well are you ready to go?” She asked.

“Yeah sure,” I replied grabbing up my belongings. As we edged away from the apartment my heart seemed to skip beat after beat, who ever thought the one who knows how to hurt me could
make me so nervous…

It’s like I waited and waited for him, every time that door opened to the café my heart would rise into my throat only to fall back into the pit of my stomach when I realized it wasn’t him.

“Hey do you know when your friend is coming?” Ava asked breaking me of my thoughts
.

“I’m not even sure myself,” I said feeling disappointed and embarrassed at the same time.
Disappointed for even getting my hopes high thinking things would be different after only a couple of weeks of not talking and embarrassed that I may get stood up.

“And
next we have Ava also known as ‘Complex Angel,’ clap her up to the stage she’s a virgin on the mic tonight y’all,” the host said. The audience began clapping and whistling for Ava as she walked up to the stage. She looked nervous so I stuck two thumbs up for support even though I was shocked that she was even going up there to perform a poem seeing that this was her first time at a poetry slam ever.

“This poem is t
itled ‘Daddy’s Little Girl,’” she said. She cleared her throat, placed the most innocent smile upon her face and began:

  
Daddy the first time you laid eyes on me in the hospital

 
You promised me you would give me the world

 
You said no one would ever hurt me

 
Not even you…

 
But daddy it’s 23 years later

And I’ve never felt more neglect from you in my life

I know the pain is something hard to swallow

But see daddy I’ve always been your little girl…

Just not in the way you pictured me to be

My footsteps dream of
walking just like you walk

My mind thinks just like yours

Momma told me you wished so hard for a boy

Well here I am daddy your son reincarnated as your daughter

  
Hearing the way Ava performed this poem touched my heart, hearing the pain behind each word just made tears build up. I know how it feels to get neglected by a parent but Ava had a relationship with her father and the thought of her being homosexual caused their relationship to go astray. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how that felt. As she finished up her poem I realized I had a text message from Quincy. I ignored it and stood up to clap for Ava she deserved it.

“Girl
, you did sooo good,” I said as she came back to the table.

“Thank you, I’m glad I came with you tonight,” she replied as she sat down. My smile dropped as my ears tuned her out. The only thing I was focused on
now was why all of sudden Quincy had a change of plans and couldn’t make it tonight.

“Thank you for inviting me,” Ava said as she placed her hand on my arm.

“Oh girl you’re welcome,” I said as I came back to reality halfway, my mind was racing with thoughts now. I’m tired of putting myself through this.

                                                                  

“So what happened to your friend if you don’t mind me asking?” Ava asked breaking me of my thoughts as we headed back to the apartment. I was wondering the same damn thing
. “Something came up,” I said leaving it at that.