Honesty (Mark of Nexus) (19 page)

“Me? I’m just a figment of your imagination. I’ll be gone by then.”

His brows furrowed as I pocketed the tape and my newly acquired knife. My blood was all over the damn thing, and I didn’t have time to wipe it, so I was taking it with me.

“Maybe I’ll take it and run,” he spat. “No one will even know I’m here.”

“Oh, they’ll know you’re here.” I pulled the gun out, racked it, and fired four rounds at the bricks near the base of the building. “GREETINGS FROM VICTOR, BITCHES!”

Lights flipped on everywhere in the apartment complex, and a door swung open on the second floor.

“It’s been real, Gene. Have fun.”

“You can’t just leav—”

“You brought this upon yourself,” I said, repeating his earlier phrase as I tossed the gun back in the trunk and chucked his keys a good twenty feet in the other direction. “And believe me, if you make it through the night and ever contact Rachel or her mom again, I
will
find a way to make that piñata thing happen.”

“Okay, okay, I got it!” He dove into the trunk with shaking hands, frantically trying to get the gun. “Just—”

Shots rang out from the balcony, and I took it as my cue to leave. The rest was on him.

I called the cops from a burner, figuring they could either arrest Gene or contact his next of kin—it didn’t matter to me. I’d just pulled off an impromptu plan that was both honest and satisfying. Maybe this honorable thing would be easier to master than I thought.

Of course, it did have some setbacks. I had to show up at Grandma’s house in the middle of the night, covered in blood and holding a mask, to ask Wallace for a ride. Talk about an interrogation…

An hour later, the three of us were still sitting around the kitchen table, where I’d relayed almost every detail of the past month. “So, now you’re up to speed. Gene’s out of the picture, Rachel’s safe, and I have new roommates until they work something out with the housing department. Oh, and the house move is back on, since I worked out that shit with Faye. Win, win.”

“Language, Nicholas.” Grandma rubbed her temples, staring into the depths of her mug.

“Sorry.”

“I guess it’ll be nice having you around on those recruitment runs.” Wallace finally spoke up, looking anywhere but at Grandma. “In case something happens.”

“Yeah.”

We had yet to bring up the five-member faction we’d assembled after the memorial service for Aiden. Now wasn’t the time. Grandma had a vested interest in everyone involved, and she loved every single one of us—including Faye. Informing her that the tyrannical bat had been deemed an inevitable causality of war would break her heart.

Even worse, it might turn it.

Wallace glanced at the clock and cleared his throat. “I should get you back up to Wilcox. Rach might get to go home early, after they sort through things at the store.”

“And when do I get to meet this Rachel?” Grandma asked as she pushed her chair back to clear the table. “It seems everyone else has.”

I opened and shut my mouth, casting a sideways glance at Wallace. “I don’t know. We’re not in a real relationship yet—wait. Not yet. I didn’t mean to say yet. What I’m trying to say is I really don’t know what we’re doing. I’ll let you know.”

She set two mugs in the sink. “Don’t lie to your grandma.”

My jaw dropped. “I’m not lying, this time!”

“Then don’t lie to
yourself
.”

Was that a smirk? Was my grandmother smirking
at me? I blinked.

“Come on. It’s late.” Wallace shoved me toward the living room. Or maybe he meant to turn me around and I flew. Either way, we both made our way to the door. “I want to get back before breakfast.”

“Not so fast.” Grandma followed us with outstretched arms. “You drag me out of bed at two thirty in the morning, and I don’t at least get a hug?”

“Sorry.” I wrapped my arms around her and felt her gesture behind me. “You too, honey. Family hug.”

Wallace probably cringed. “I shouldn’t—”

Grandma pulled back for a second, her stern face on. “I’m sorry. Did I phrase that as a question? Get in here.”

Oh shit.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Just like that, I found myself enveloped by my family. In the middle of the living room. At three thirty in the morning.

It was warm and awkward and…just what I needed
.
This was what we were fighting ERA for—life as it was meant to be. Shitty days and low points, followed by moments that restore you to the point of feeling almost whole again. Without that contrast, we might as well trade in our souls for robot parts. Fuck utopias.

Of course, I couldn’t let them know how much their affection meant to me. I had to bust up this sapfest the fastest way I knew how. By singing. “I love yoooooou, you love—”

“Don’t you dare sing the Barney song again,” Wallace threatened, backing off. “You know that gets in my head.”

“Aww, c’mon, brother.” I turned to him with my arms still open. “I need affection to heal my troubled soul.”

“You need a doctor to heal your troubled brain.”

“Boys.” Grandma shook her head, staring up at the ceiling. “Go take care of your friend.”

I gave her a quick peck on the cheek and darted out the door. “Thank you!”

Wallace followed suit and we loaded into his F-150, headed for Wilcox.

“I really do appreciate the ride,” I told him after a few minutes of silence, wringing my mask with my hands. “No shit. I was kind of in a tough spot.”

He kept his gaze on the interstate. “Remember when I asked you to stay away from Rachel for a while?”

Ah, hell. He’s gonna throw me in the Scioto River.
“Vaguely.”

“Well, I was wrong. Apparently, she needed you, so it was a good thing you stepped up.”

Brain. Not computing.
“Did you just admit you were wrong and condone my behavior in the same sentence?”

His eyes flicked in the direction of his rearview mirror before he slammed on the brakes, hurling us forward to be assaulted by our seatbelts. “Squirrel.”

“Yeah,” I grumbled. “Lot of those middle-of-the-night squirrels on deserted highways…”

Wallace grinned. “What’d you expect me to say, shithead? I’m not a fan of your former hobbies, but it seems like you’re past that phase. Maybe Rach is a good influence on you.”

I grunted. He was right, but I was still savoring the fact that he’d been wrong. No reason to cut the celebration short.

My phone chirped, and I squinted at the bright screen.

RACHEL: “
My manager offered to drive me home after she gives her statement.”

I frowned. “
Do we trust her?”

RACHEL: “
Yes.”

“
Does she know you live in Cleveland now?”

RACHEL: “
I told her. She lives in Bedford, so it’s not that much farther.”

“
Okay, I’ll text Tits and tell him to let you in. I should be there in about three hours.”

RACHEL:
“Three hours? What happened?”

“Nothing to worry about. I just went to visit my Grandma after I dropped Gene off. Wallace is driving me back.”

Wallace tilted his head. “She got off early, didn’t she?”

“Yeah.”

“I was right.”

“Ye—no,” I lied. “
Damn it.
”

He grinned and turned the radio on. “Relax. It’s going to be a long ride.”

After traumatizing my twin with the threat of another hug, we parted ways at the Laundromat where I’d left my Jeep. Thankfully, the drive up to Cleveland was shorter than usual, given the lack of traffic, so I made it to the apartment sooner than expected.

“Honey, I’m home…” I murmured in my best Ricky Ricardo accent, scanning the darkened kitchen. A thin silhouette sat on the counter with crossed arms.

“Welcome home,” Rachel said in a flat voice. “Can we talk?”

Shit.
That was never a good sign. “Sure.”

“Privately?”

“Uh…” I looked around, not finding much in the way of noise cancellation. “The roof?”

She nodded, and I threw my stuff on the counter.

The walk there felt like a march to the principal’s office. I had the unnerving feeling I was about to be broken up with for the first time in my life, and we weren’t even technically an item. How the hell did that work out?

A mixture of scents met us atop the building. Food, mostly. The new neighborhood seemed to be a hotspot for entertainment, even in the wee hours.

“Did you go to a doctor?” she asked in a quiet voice, crossing her arms.

“No.”

I’d weighed our situation in my mind on the ride up here, and I couldn’t bring myself to lie to her anymore. With this Gene thing behind us, I’d started to think we could start over. Sure, we’d still be an unlikely duo—badass Dynari pairs up with the sweetest human girl in existence—but we wouldn’t be shackled to our pasts anymore. Either one of us.

“Let me see it.”

I tilted my chin. “Hm?”

“Your wound.” She gestured to the dried blood on my shirt. “If it’s bad, we need to go to a hospital. I understand you’re trying to shield what happened, but it’s important, Cole. Gene could have permanently damaged something.”

I could’ve laughed. Her assumption would’ve worked perfectly to cover the real reason why I hadn’t gotten checked out, but I couldn’t use it. I had
just
sworn to be honest with her. Literally. Like five seconds ago. If I’d known the truth would surface this fast, I might’ve given it more thought…

“I’m sorry.” The strung lights below reflected in her eyes, and she shook her head. “I got you into this. I made you go back to what you were trying so hard to get away from.”

“No, no…” I grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it up. “See? It’s really not that bad.”

Sure enough, it looked like I’d just smeared blood around the taut skin at my waist. No gash, no scar. Totally healed.

She covered her mouth and backed away, then ventured a step closer to gawk. “That’s impossible.”

“And yet it’s not.” I kept as calm as possible, realizing how scary the whole thing would be for her—hell, it was scary for me. How did Wallace pull this off with Rena? I’d eavesdropped, but didn’t realize the nerve bundle associated with admitting your biggest secret to someone whose opinion means so much. I could barf.

“How?” she asked, her gaze glued to my side.

“Before I explain it, I have to know something.”

“What?”

“What do you see happening with us?”

That earned me eye contact. “
Now
?”

I let my shirt fall to cover the non-wound again. “No, in general. What do you want to do? Dating? Mating? Just friends?”

“I-I, uh…” She tucked her hair behind her ears and crossed her arms again. “You can’t just ask someone that on the spot.”

“And yet I did,” I said, mimicking what I’d said a minute ago. “C’mon, it’s important.”

She studied me for at least a minute, her eyes narrowed in careful scrutiny. “I guess I see us on the verge of dating. Other things would come later.”

“Sex?”

Even in the dark, her face turned red. “Yes, Cole. I reclaimed my virginity two years ago.”

Well, hell.
I leaned against the access door and scratched my head. “How does that work? I was under the impression that once you pop the balloon, it can’t be inflated again.”

“It’s a spiritual thing,” she hissed under her breath. “I’m not having sex again until marriage.”

Holy shit.
“O-kay. Do you plan on getting married?”

“To you, or in general?” Her questions had turned suspicious, not that I could blame her. We
were
near a four-story drop.

“Me. Would you rather marry someone else?”

“No.” Instantaneous answer. “I mean, I don’t know. Why are we even talking about this?”

“Because we’re about to have Cole and Rachel’s special share time, and I want to make sure what we have is worth the risk of exposure.”

“I don’t understand.”

I blew out a deep breath and looked up for patience, just as I’d seen Grandma do a thousand times. One step at a time. “Rachel, do you want to be my girlfriend?”

A smile played at Rachel’s lips. “Of course I do.”

“Then that’s settled.” I couldn’t keep from grinning. “Congratulations, by the way. I’m quite the catch.”

“So I’ve heard.” She poked her tongue out.

Now here goes nothin’.

“Okay, on to serious shit—I mean, crap. Can you keep a secret? Like a carry-it-to-your-grave secret? I say this, because it’s not just mine. It belongs to Wallace, Rena, and the rest of my family. If you share this with even one person, you’ll put all of us in danger.”

Her brows drew closer together, and she took a step toward me, lowering her voice. “I’d never repeat anything you’ve entrusted me with. What is it?”

I took a quick inventory of our surroundings. Vacant rooftop, a thick barrier between us and the uppermost apartment building, and no one in the alley below. It’d have to do. “So, the healing thing…”

Once I started my confession, it all came out. Things I’d bottled for years spewed out like I’d popped some kind of emotional cork—the truth about my bloodline, what really happened to the man who’d killed our parents, how kidnapping Rena had forced Wallace to involve her, the impending war with ERA, the virus that’d been released on campus, how Aiden Ross was still alive, what had just happened with Gene.
Everything
.

We ended up sitting on the concrete, our backs to the ledge. Rach had asked a few questions in the middle, but for the most part, just stared at me with huge eyes. At least Sis had scoffed at Wallace and had to be scared into believing it. From my girl, I got nothing. No reaction. Just that blank stare.

“I probably should’ve saved the girlfriend question for after, right?” I laughed, trying to lighten the situation, but she didn’t respond. My heart dropped.

Was it really that bad? Sure, she’d just had a bomb dropped on her that shattered everything she knew about the world, but it was just me we were talking about. She knew me. She had
feelings
for me. My having gifts shouldn’t change that.

Unless, that’s not the problem here…

I drew my legs up to my chest. Maybe she could get past
what
I was, but couldn’t deal with who I’d become. As someone trying to stay on the straight and narrow, she probably saw me as toxic.
A one-way ticket to hell.

“You can go,” I finally muttered, deflating as I leaned on my knees. “This doesn’t have to be an awkward thing. Just go back to bed, and we’ll pretend like this didn’t happen in the morning. I trust you’ll still keep it to yourse—”

“Can I see it?”

I nearly gave myself whiplash, turning to look at her. “What?”

“I saw your healing ability for myself,” she said, her voice unnervingly void of emotion. “I have no choice but to believe what you’ve told me. But it’s
really
hard to wrap my head around, Cole. I think I need to see this speed firsthand, too.”

My pulse kicked into high gear at the possibility of her still being okay with this—with
me.
I shoved myself to my feet and bounced on my toes to look around. “Oh, right. Sure. Of course. Uh…”

There. Across the southern alley, a restaurant had its flag mounted to the corner of the building. It flapped around in the spring breeze, practically begging to be taken. I pointed. “See that?”

She rose and followed my line of vision. “Yes?”

I didn’t say anything else. Choosing, instead, to give her the best demonstration possible. I ran full tilt for the end of the roof and pushed off hard, flying over the alley like some kind of parkour god. A roll stopped my momentum mid-way across the roof, and I scrambled to the edge.

A few tugs brought the grommets free of their bindings, and I practically flew back, the flag balled up in my fist. “Here.”

Rachel jumped with a start, and I steadied her, eyeing the ledge. “Easy.”

“H-How…?” She blinked at me, and then the pole where the flag used to be. Me. The pole. Me—

I shrugged.

Her tears sprang anew, and she shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m not upset. I just really don’t know what to do with all of this.”

“Nothing,” I told her, bending to meet her eyes. “Nothing’s different. So you know my past now and a few things I can do. That doesn’t change how I feel about you. And I sure as hell hope it doesn’t change the way you feel about me.”

She took one step, and then another. Slowly, she laid her head against my shoulder. “This doesn’t seem real.”

“I know.” I rubbed her back, carefully taking her into my arms. “It won’t for a while. Rena was the same way.”

Her words muffled against my shirt. “You didn’t use your powers to kill Gene, did you?”

My powers.
She acted like I shot energy blasts from my hands. “No, I told you what happened. That ‘antagonize the gangbangers’ thing was me sparing him for you. Though, he’s probably Swiss cheese by now…”

She slumped against me. “Is it wrong that I almost felt relieved when you said that?”

My lips twitched. “Don’t ask me. I’m a bad moral gauge—though, since you reclaimed your hymen, maybe I can reclaim my innocence in terms of violence.”

She leaned back with a raised eyebrow. “Mine involved a vow before
God
.”

I coughed. “Yeah, okay, I’ll get back to you on that.”

Whether it was the early hour or the ridiculousness of my statement, we both started laughing. Hysterically. The tension cracked between us, and before I knew it, we were back on the concrete.

“This is going to sound weird,” I admitted, leaning against the bricks, “but I’m glad you’re sticking around—and not just because I have feelings for you. Wallace thinks you’re a good influence, but in reality, you’re more like a good reason. When I think about you, I want to fight my impulses. I want to stop taking shit out on people and feeling nothing at the end of the night. Sometimes it scares me what I’m capable of…”

She reached over and clasped my hand with cool fingers. “You know, the way I see it, anything can be used for good or evil. This knife is a scalpel; that knife is a switchblade. One helps. One hurts. Same thing with your abilities. It all depends on the guy wielding them.”

Huh.
A horn honked down the street. “I never thought about it that way.”

“So, is that why you did all of those things?” she asked. “Impulses?”

“I don’t know how to explain it.” I looked up, searching the lightening sky. “Sometimes I like to see how people react to things—to see what they’d be like at their breaking points. I know it sounds sick, but try living a day in this slow monotony. You become interested in things you’d never expect to.”

“What do you mean slow monotony? I thought because you were fast…”

“I
seem
fast, because everything is slow to me. It was tolerable when I was a kid, but by the time I’d hit puberty, life had slowed to a crawl. I see things as they’re happening. I speed read. I have time to soak in details—too many details. I get bored.”

“That makes sense,” she acknowledged in a soft, sleep-deprived voice. “I guess you just need to find a way to make that time worthwhile.”

I leaned over, stopping a breath from her lips, and whispered, “I think I’ve found it.”

Her hazel eyes brightened in the dim light, betraying a smile I was too close to see. The reaction was all the encouragement I needed to kiss her, and she did
not
protest. Eager hands ran lines of warmth up my chest and over my shoulders, before she pulled me closer.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and returned the favor until our bodies were pressed against each other. The wind picked up and blew her hair around us, and it was all I could do to suppress a moan as I tunneled my fingers through the coppery strands. “You’re beautiful…”

“Cole, look,” she rasped, pulling back to nod over my shoulder. “The sunrise.”

I turned, and a lungful of air hitched in my throat. A fiery sliver hung low in the horizon, casting rays through dark clouds. They seemed to part for it, drifting to the sides like a scroll that’d revealed a glowing piece of heaven. Just for us.

The things I’d listed yesterday surged through my mind, stopping with
‘watch a sunrise with Rachel’
. Not only had that milestone come to pass, it’d been completely unscripted—making the experience more beautiful than I could’ve ever imagined. This wasn’t
just
a sunrise. It was some kind of sign.

I turned to my new girlfriend, radiantly bathed in sunlight, and blurted out, “We should get married.”

Rachel’s jaw dropped.

“Someday,” I quickly elaborated. “When you’re ready.”

Ready to get rocked by your husband every night. And morning. Three times on Tuesdays. While skipping jury dut—

She laughed. “Well, we have been dating almost an hour now.”

“Ever seen a Disney movie?” I quipped. “‘Cause they usually know each other less than ninety minutes before they get hitched, and they’re happy enough to sing. The wait is a formality.”

It’d come out as an impulsive declaration, probably because I didn’t know any other way to express my feelings and desire to bone her, but now that I thought about it—
damn
, it wasn’t that bad of an idea. Being chained to someone for the rest of my life had always terrified me, but when I pictured Rachel in that scenario, I felt like I was cheating life. Like I was snatching up something good I wasn’t supposed to have.

“I’m fairly certain weddings take saving up,” she told me.

“Rena and Wallace are getting married. We could just piggyback theirs.”

She facepalmed. “I think you need sleep, Cole.”

“Sleep?” I scoffed, though it was a distinct possibility. “Nah.”

“Come on,” she laughed, standing to grab my hands. “We’ll finish watching the sunrise, and then head in.”

“Can we finish the other thing we were doing, too?” I let her pull me up. “Because I was just getting started.”

“Later.” Rach reached up to tilt my chin back. “Sunrise, bed, and then we’ll figure it out.”

“Fine.” I smirked at her assertive side, letting her manhandle me.
Seems like I’m a good influence on you, too.
“So, we’re calling pause on the making outage?”

She smiled and rolled her eyes. “Yes, Cole. Pause.”

Later that morning, I went back to my usual routine—music, a cig, and bare-assed yoga. I had just gotten to
Virabhadrasana I,
when a knock preluded the door swinging open. “Hey, I’m making panca…”

Rachel trailed off, gaping. “O-Oh, I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I shrugged, holding my straddled pose. “Just come in and shut the door. I’m getting a draft.”

Her face blazed pink. “I can wait.”

“Does the vow prohibit you from watching your boyfriend stretch out?”

“No…”

“Then have a seat.”

She shut and locked the door behind her, shaking her head as she moved to my bed. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“It’s like a dream, right?” I teased.

“Something like that.”

Her timing was perfect. I could use the situation to finish what we’d started on the roof and then some. I flexed for effect. “You know, they call this the warrior pose.”

“I…can see why. Do you do yoga often?”

“Every day.”

She mouthed a ‘wow’ and crossed her legs. “So, is it a religious practice of some sort or…?”

“Nah, I’m just a big fan of doing things that feel good.”

“Feel good,” she echoed in a mechanical voice, her eyes glazing over. “Right.”

I shifted to the next position and looked at her across my shoulder. “You ever do things that feel good, Rach?”

I am a bad, bad man…

“Um…” She bit her lip and lifted her gaze to meet mine. “What did you say?”

“Nothing.” I stifled a laugh and straightened. There was no way I could keep going like this. There was morning wood, and then there was…well, being alone with the most beautiful woman on earth. Naked.

But then again, I’d been known to make situations worse…

“Now is when I do pushups,” I half lied. Since I was starting now, it seemed technically true. “Wanna help?”

“H-How?” Her voice cracked, and she cleared her throat. “Sorry, how?”

“Just give me a little resistance. Sit on my back or something.”

“Are you going to put clothes on first?”

“Not when I’d just sweat in them. I’m going directly to the shower after this, so it saves laundry.”

“I probably shouldn’t…”

I got down on the floor and assumed the position. When she didn’t move, I raised my eyebrows. “C’mon, it’s not sexual. We’re exercising.”

She swallowed so hard, I heard it from the floor. “R-Right, sorry.”

Two steps brought her to my side, where she carefully perched on my back. “Like this?”

“No, the weight isn’t distributed. You’ll have to straddle.”

She hesitated before swinging her leg over, clenching her thighs against my ribs. “Better?”

“Much.”

I did the pushups with no problem, wondering what the experience was like from her end. Even through the cotton of her shorts, her core pressed warmth against my bare skin—increasing with each dip and raise. After a few more reps, she grasped the muscles bunched at my neck for balance.

“H-How many of these do you do?” Her breathing pattern had changed, rivaling my own from the exertion. If I had the empath gene, I’d probably be able to ascertain that
someone
was enjoying this ride.

Okay, maybe two someones.

“Two hundred,” I answered with little strain. “Why?”

“No reason.” A second or two passed, and she blew out a sharp breath. “Actually, you know that thing you said last night that was crazy? I was just thinking about it.”

“Are you asking me to marry you?” I chuckled beneath her, a wicked grin curving my lips as I paused mid-pushup. “Because I’d be down with that.”

She gave a stilted, disbelieving laugh. “No, I wouldn’t…we can’t…”

“Why not?”

“We haven’t dated long enough; we haven’t
known
each other long enough.”

I went back to work. “Societal traditions mean nothing to me. Besides, what if ERA kills me, and you never get to know me in the biblical sense?”

“I think I would be more upset about the fact that they killed you,” she gave the back of my head a little shove. “But you do make a compelling argument.”