Homecoming

A Cerridwen Press Publication

www.cerridwenpress.com

Homecoming

ISBN #1-4199-0292-X

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Homecoming Copyright© 2005 Elizabeth Jennings

Edited by: Kelli Kwiatkowski

Cover art by: Syneca

Electronic book Publication: September 2005

With the exception of quotes used in reviews, this book may not be reproduced or used in whole or in part by any means existing without written permission from the publisher, Cerridwen Press, 1056 Home Avenue, Akron, OH 44310-3502.

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the authors’ imagination and used fictitiously.

Cerridwen Press is an imprint of Ellora’s Cave Publishing, Inc.®

Chapter One

May 15th, 2005, from Inter Airways flight 4410 en route to Hong Kong

FAX MESSAGE TO: Sheriff J. A. Sutter, Sheriff’s Office, Carson’s Bluff, California

FAX MESSAGE FROM: F. H. Mansion

Sheriff Sutter,

I’m sending this fax to you because I seem to be unable to contact Mayor Sutter—who I assume is a relation of yours—to discuss the possible sale and restoration of a property inside the city limits of Carson’s Bluff.

The property is known locally as “Harry’s Folly” and my lawyers have been unable to discover if it is known by any other name. Nonetheless, as you probably know, since I have been trying to get in touch with either you or the mayor for over three weeks now, Mansion Enterprises, which I represent, is interested in contacting the city authorities. Apparently, it is the city which holds a lien on the property. Mansion Enterprises is thinking of either acquiring a majority interest or purchasing the property outright.

I have been totally unsuccessful so far in establishing contact with any member of the Carson’s Bluff City Council. I am operating on a tight schedule, but could make a brief visit in the second half of May, preferably sometime after the 25th, after my return from Singapore.

In my previous messages, you will find the number of my cell phone and my email address. My itinerary is as follows: May 16th, Hong Kong, May 22nd, Singapore, May 25th San Francisco. You can reach me at the Mansion Hotels in each of these cities or leave messages with the San Francisco or New York administrative offices, which will forward any messages.

Best, F. H. Mansion

Carson’s Bluff

Note taped to Jack Sutter’s refrigerator door

Hey Jack, the Cossacks have faxed again. I guess this F. H. guy’s just not giving up. You’re going to have to answer, otherwise this workaholic yuppie will just turn up on our doorstep some fine day and drink us out of all our white wine. You know how much Dad would appreciate that.

Cavendish broke through the fence again. He chewed the top half of your favorite boots. Maybe Norman can repair them. Sorry about that.

Lilly

FAX TO: Ellen Larsen c/o Inter Airways, Logan Airport

FAX FROM: Federica Mansion, en route to Hong Kong

Hi El,

You won’t be surprised to hear that I’m going to have to cry off our date in Paris. My beloved uncle has tacked on a quick tour around the Pacific Rim hotels before the Paris trip—it seems quarterly profits are up only seventy-five percent instead of ninety percent and he wants to know why—so that’s been postponed by a week. You’ll be in London by then. This is the second time I’ve cancelled in a row. Forgive, forgive.

How did the date with the Great Dane go? Lucky you, you get to date. I don’t remember the last time I had dinner with a man who didn’t consider me a proxy for Uncle Frederick.

Love, Federica

May 16th, Paris

FAX TO: Federica Mansion, c/o Hong Kong Mansion Inn

FAX FROM: Ellen Larsen, Roissy-Charles De Gaulle Airport, Paris

Hi honey,

That’s okay. We’ll meet up eventually. The date wasn’t with the Dane, it was the Swedish Captain for SAS. I don’t know why I bother. The date came to an early end. He started mistaking my breast for a joystick before we even got out of the taxi. It must be part of the job description for pilots—they have to have high testosterone levels and be oversexed. I’m still working to get the taste of his beery tongue out of my mouth. Am just about willing to throw in the towel and join you in celibacy. What’s it like?

Are you going to Podunk in Northern California at the end of May? We could meet up in the beginning of June. If you let me know, I’ll put in a bid for the California route.

Don’t work too hard making another zillion for your uncle. He doesn’t need it. What he really needs is a brain transplant and a heart.

Love, El

Hong Kong

FAX TO: Mayor Sutter, Carson’s Bluff

FAX FROM: F. H. Mansion

Mayor Sutter,

I wonder if the entire Town Council of Carson’s Bluff has disappeared? I didn’t know the area was part of the Bermuda Triangle. My faxes to you and to Sheriff Sutter have gone unanswered. I am sending a copy of this to the City Treasurer, c/o your town hall. Someone, somewhere, must be alive out there.

As you must know by now, Mansion Enterprises is interested in purchasing Lot 448 of the local land register—otherwise known as “Harry’s Folly”—either partially or in its entirety. My lawyers have checked the public records. The property has a debt burden of over $100,000 in back taxes and is a drain on the community. It seems impossible to me that the Town Council would not leap at the opportunity to make a profit and see a thriving business grow in their community. However, the original offer has been cut by $10,000 dollars and shall fall by that amount every day my messages go unanswered.

F. H. Mansion

Carson’s Bluff

Sticker on fax message from F. H. Mansion

Jack—this is the latest fax that shark sent. Now I know what those weird lawyer types were doing poking around our records last week. Do you think City Hall should have a fire, tragically burning all our registers? What are we going to do? Can’t you try a little unfriendly persuasion?

Wyatt

FAX TO: F. H. Mansion, c/o Administrative Headquarters, Mansion Enterprises, San Francisco, CA

FAX FROM: Sheriff J. A. Sutter, Sheriff’s office, Carson’s Bluff, CA

Sorry I haven’t answered your faxes. Me and some men from Carson’s Bluff have been out to Harry’s Folly clearing brush. This is brushfire season and the brush hides all the rattlers. They get pretty big this time of year. Some have been known to carry off babies. Any time you want to come out, that’s fine by us. “Us” meaning the Town Council, which is mostly me (I’m the mayor, too) and my brother, Wyatt, who’s City Treasurer. Since you’re interested in Harry’s Folly, we’ll fix up a room for you there if you want. It’s a little isolated, up in the mountains, but we’ll try and make it cozy for you, put some sheeting on the roof, clear out the black widows.

By the way, what does the F. H. stand for?

P.S. Don’t worry. We’ll leave a snakebite kit next to the bed.

Sheriff J. A. Sutter

May 17th

EMAIL FROM: [email protected]

TO:
[email protected]

Federica,

Why haven’t you made that appointment with the City Council of Carson’s Bluff yet? Our lawyers have already been in to check out the legal situation, and the engineering offices have come up with a timetable for the restoration. It’s in a perfect location for business seminars and there is plenty of room for a helipad. We want to get on this right away.

Have you found out anything about our Pacific Rim properties? You might want to fire someone out there. Just pick someone out and fire him. That’ll make them sit up and take notice.

Uncle Frederick

May 18th

EMAIL FROM: [email protected]

TO:
[email protected]

Dear Uncle Frederick,

It is now 11:00 p.m. my time—their time, Hong Kong time, whatever. I only landed two hours ago. The meeting with the Hong Kong manager is scheduled for 7:00 a.m. Will know more tomorrow. Strongly advise against firing anyone. Received message from mayor of Carson’s Bluff upon arrival. Will schedule meeting soonest.

Federica

May 18th/19th,
Hong Kong

FAX TO: Ellen Larsen, c/o Inter Airways, Roissy-Charles De Gaulle Airport, Paris

FAX FROM: Federica Mansion

Hey El,

I’m not too sure what day it is anymore. I’m in Jet Lag from Hell phase and have only just started this swing through the Rim. Sorry the Swedish captain didn’t pan out. At least you’re seeing some action. What does celibacy feel like? Dunno. I don’t feel much of anything below the neck these days.

Uncle Frederick wants me to fire someone out here. I don’t think it makes much difference who, he just wants to make a point.

I have actually established contact with Carson’s Bluff City Council, in the person of its sheriff (who is also the mayor!), and I might be edging closer to an appointment. For some reason, they seem to want to scare me off.

That nutcase wrote that the rattlers on the property are big enough to carry off babies. Anyway, if I do manage to actually make an appointment with these people, we could meet in San Francisco end of May/early June.

What do you say? We could take in a show or two. You could stay with me, sleep in my spare room. I do have a spare room, don’t I? I can’t seem to remember. I don’t even remember the last time I was there.

Love, Federica

May 19th

Note stuck under Lilly Sutter Wright’s windshield wiper

Hi Lil,

Stopped by your studio but you weren’t there. Cavendish did me a favor, those boots chafed at the top. Tell your good-for-nothing husband that he can cook me a meal instead of repairing my boots. I haven’t had a home-cooked meal since the last time the two of you had me over.

I think I might have stopped the Mansion Enterprises juggernaut. Told him Harry’s Folly was overrun with giant rattlers and black widows, but don’t know how long I can hold out. Maybe we should have a town caucus.

Love, Jack

EMAIL:
[email protected]

TO:
[email protected]

Federica,

Let’s meet in California, that would be great. Confirm soon, because I have to bid the flight in a few days. I imagine that the Town Council is spinning tales because they don’t want to be taken over by Mansion Enterprises.

Your Uncle Frederick belongs under a rock. Our boss at Inter Airways is like that. He would fire his grandmother. Eat this email.

Don’t you ever dream of the perfect man? Six-foot-two, bright blue eyes, sexy as hell? If you’re dead below the neck, what do you dream of?

You have a spare room, trust me on this. Let me know soonest if we can meet because the bidding wars have begun.

Love, El

May 20th

FAX FROM: F. H. Mansion c/o Hong Kong Mansion Inn

FAX TO: Sheriff J. A. Sutter, Sheriff’s Office, Carson’s Bluff, CA

Sheriff Sutter,

I will be arriving in Carson’s Bluff on either May 31st or June 1st. Shall advise exact date in a few days. I would appreciate if you could convene a meeting of the City Council by the 1st or 2nd of June.

Don’t worry about the rattlers. My bite is deadlier. Will bring my own snake kit. If it’s brush fire season, should I pack my asbestos pajamas?

Isn’t it illegal to be both sheriff and mayor?

I was named for my uncle—Frederick Henry Mansion.

Best, F. H. Mansion

EMAIL FROM: [email protected]

TO:
[email protected]

Dear Uncle Frederick,

I met with Mr. Chen, our Hong Kong manager, and he assured me that the slight downturn in profits was due to cancellations after the Air Swift disaster. It makes sense. He showed me preliminary figures for the next quarter and it looks as if profits will be back up to par soon. If you give him a little slack, he’ll produce more.

Have made provisional appointment with Carson’s Bluff City Council for June 2nd.

Love, Federica

EMAIL FROM: [email protected]

TO:
[email protected]

Federica, don’t let yourself be blinded by figures. Did you check what Chen showed you? The Air Swift disaster should have been followed by an aggressive ad campaign. Tell Chen he is borderline.

Firm up CB Town Council meeting. We will expect report by June 5. If sale is made by June 15, schedule will be met. Don’t fail me.

Uncle Frederick

May 21st

Notice tacked on oak tree in front of City Hall, Carson’s Bluff

Citizenry,

I think we’re in deepest shit. Outside forces are moving in. We’re calling a town meeting for the day after tomorrow in the courthouse at 7:00 p.m. We want everyone to be there. AND THAT MEANS YOU!!

Jack Sutter