Home to You (8 page)

“Your grandmother had it, didn’t she?” Carolyne remembered a bitter old woman in a wheelchair, the woman who, Carolyne felt, had most likely broken up Meghan’s parents, but that was all speculation.

“You do remember!” Meghan gasped. Carolyne watched as Meghan forced the words out through clenched teeth. “I don’t want to be like that. I can’t be like that!” She broke on the last word and her eyes filled with tears again, though they didn’t fall. Meghan blinked over and over until they dried up.

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Carolyne silently prayed, not sure how to answer her. What could she say? She didn’t know enough about the disease to help her. She didn’t know enough about Meghan’s family situation to advise her. But she could see the woman was hurting. She would simply deal with what she could see. And what she could see was someone who needed to know that people cared for her and she wasn’t alone.

She got up and came around the table. Putting her arm around Meghan, she squeezed her tight. “You have to remember that God is in control, sweetheart, and He won’t put more on us than we can bear. It’s our choice to choose how we react.”

Meghan shuddered, then stiffened again as if to hold back tears. Then she whispered, achingly empty, “God?

What does He have to do with this? He obviously has deserted my family.”

“Oh, Meghan.” Carolyne’s heart throbbed painfully for the young woman. “Why do you say that?”

Meghan shook her head. With her eyes downcast, she twisted her fingers in her lap. Her breath trembled in and then out with a rush. “Because of my grandmother, for one reason. And my father left us for another. Now God gives me a disease that’s going to turn me into a hateful monster like my grandmother. I’d say that pretty well sums up how God feels about me.”

Carolyne rubbed Meghan’s shoulder in sympathy as revulsion swept through Meghan. When Meghan’s shudders eased, Carolyne spoke. “You know, the Bible tells us that the trials we suffer are for the perfecting of our faith. In other words, sometimes God allows us to go through things to draw us closer to Him. Other times
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it is for His glory that we go through trials. And still other times, these things aren’t for any reason but an attack of the enemy. We don’t necessarily know when it’s an attack or simply a trial allowed by God, but we do know that we have to trust God. Tell me, Meghan, are you a Christian?”

Meghan shrugged. “I went to church once or twice when I was a kid. That’s probably why God is punish-ing me.” A fresh shudder ran through her body.

Instead of addressing her erroneous assumption, Carolyne said, instead, “Christianity is about a relationship, not about going to church. If you want to find peace, that relationship is the first place you’re going to have to look.”

“What do you mean?” Meghan asked. “How can you expect me to make peace with a disease like this?”

Carolyne smiled gently. “Because God loves you. Do you know He loves you so much that He knew, before the foundations of the world, that you were going to be born, you were going to break fellowship with Him through sin, and that you were going to need a re-deemer. Just as He knew I would, Dakota would, and every single one of us would. He sent His Son, Jesus, as the price for your sin and for my sin. And He would have done it if you were the only one who had sinned, or if I was the only one who had sinned. That’s how much God loves us. Jesus never sinned—He was perfect—and He died for you, to reconcile you to the One who loves you—not One who would punish you for missing church.”

“I don’t know.” Meghan studied Carolyne, skeptical.

“How does that have anything to do with my MS?”

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“Well,” Carolyne began, “first things first. You need hope and that’s the only place I can think of where you can find hope.” She squeezed her shoulder again. “I have a book about the very subject I’d like you to read.”

She grinned. “It’s called a Bible. I have verses under-lined and a list of Bible verses I want to give you. You read those and tell me if that helps your pain. And while you are doing that, I’ll look up some information on MS.”

“I know all about it.” Meghan’s voice filled with bitterness. “I grew up with an abusive old biddy who used to like to hit me with a stick whenever I was around.”

“That was over twenty years ago, Meghan. Things change.”

Meghan collapsed against Carolyne at that statement. “I only wish they could.”

“Well, we’ve set out on a plan. You read, I research, and tomorrow we discuss. How does that sound?”

Meghan sighed. “I don’t know. I mean…I was aim-less when I came here, so I suppose anything is better than simply sitting and thinking about it. But maybe I should do the research?”

“You read those verses first. They’ll help you more than sitting at a computer. Besides, you still need rest and when you’re feeling better, we’ll get you online, okay?”

Meghan hesitated and then nodded, visibly relaxing.

“Will you be okay staying out in the upstairs apartment?” Carolyne asked gently.

“I think I can manage the stairs.”

“Are there any other symptoms you’ve been experiencing that we need to know about? Any medications?”

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Meghan shook her head. “I get tired a lot and fall asleep sometimes just sitting there. I think I may be forgetting more than normal but that could be the alcohol.”

She bit her lip to stop the trembling.

“You know, it’s okay if you cry, Meghan.” Carolyne crooned the words softly, thinking back to how many times after her husband’s death she’d sat down and cried. “Sometimes it’s good to mourn a loss, a change to your way of life.”

“I’m afraid if I let go, I won’t come back.”

Carolyne hugged her close. Carolyne felt they had talked enough about the subject. Now might be a good time for a change. “So, what do you think we should do next?” she asked Meghan. “I mean, obviously you don’t want breakfast.”

Meghan blushed. “I do need to go lie down, but maybe we could talk some more later?”

Carolyne laughed and stood. “I’ll be waiting. The electricity is already on and I’ve put toiletries up there.”

“Thank you.” Meghan smiled. Turning, she left and went out the back door.

The yard was turning brown as everything went to sleep for the coming winter. The garden was dying, but still had a beauty about it. She looked around the yard trying to remember.

So intent was she on studying it, she didn’t hear the car drive up or the car door close. The first indication anyone was near was his voice. “What are you thinking about?”

Startled, she glanced around. Dakota stood there, looking handsome and so in charge. She forced her gaze away, back to the yard. “I was thinking even
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though it’s been more than twenty years, things haven’t really changed much. There are still tall plants that aren’t quite as tall now, and the latticework is new, but other than that, your place still looks the same.”

Dakota walked forward and glanced around the yard.

“You’re the second person in as many days who has pointed out that despite the years things around here haven’t changed.”

“You see it all the time.” Meghan kept her gaze averted. “You probably haven’t noticed.”

“On the contrary. I’m so rarely at home that I’ve never noticed.”

She wasn’t sure what he meant by that.

The sound of the wind blowing through the trees whistled above. She wondered what the man next to her was thinking.

“It’s been a long time,” he finally answered her question by saying.

She nodded. “I am sorry.”

He touched her arm, a fleeting touch from behind and then his hand was gone. “Don’t be.”

They stood that way for a while, neither saying anything. Meghan watched a blue jay fly into a tree and then a squirrel run up the tree, scaring the blue jay into flight. She felt much like that blue jay and the MS the squirrel. It has sent her running.

“I remember that promise,” Dakota finally said.

That brought Meghan around, and staring into those deep beautiful eyes. “You’re kidding.”

A small smile tilted his clean-shaven cheeks into a pleasant look. “No. If I remember right, you were going to make me eat a mud pie.”

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She groaned. “Oh no.”

He chuckled softly. “My thoughts exactly. And I’ll have you know, I was grounded for a week after that pie fell into my lap.”

The mood was broken as he glanced at his watch.

“I’m keeping you from something,” she said.

“I’m running really behind, but I forgot some papers for my briefcase. I had to stop back by.”

She stepped back. He stepped forward. “I want to talk more. Those were good days, back then, slower days.”

“Yes, they were.”

He glanced at his watch again.

She bit her lip in worry.

“Don’t feel out of place, Meghan.”

How had he known what she was feeling?

“Accept the hospitality and stay with us. It’s a time to renew our acquaintance, for you to recover. We’re here for you.”

In embarrassment her gaze slid away. “I have to go upstairs.” She pointed behind to the garage apartment.

“And I have to go.”

“Well…” She rubbed her legs and turned to go.

He started to leave and she heard him stop. “And Meghan?”

She paused and waited, not turning around.

“You clean up really good.”

Mortified, she wanted to run, and yet, she didn’t. In a way, that was one of the nicest things she’d heard in a long time and something that made her feel, in an odd way, very special.

Without another word, she started up the stairs.

Once in the apartment, she lay down for a short time,
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and when she returned to the main house, Dakota was gone.

Carolyne was sitting in the living room drinking tea.

She smiled up at Meghan. “Glad you’re back, dear. Are you ready to talk?”

Meghan shrugged self-consciously. Then she offered a tentative smile.

“Well, come over and sit—” The knocking on the door stopped her.

“Oh Carolyne? Carolyne!”

Carolyne sighed. Smiling at Meghan, she warned,

“Brace yourself. It looks like we’re not going to get much conversing done.”

Meghan looked at her, confused.

Carolyne only chuckled and strolled to the front door.

“Good morning, Mary. Margaret. How can I help you?”

The two women bustled in nearly before Carolyne could open the door.

“Is that woman up yet?” Margaret asked.

“She’s got a name, sister. At least, I’m sure she does.”

She looked at Carolyne.

“Of course she does, sister,” Margaret replied. “But do you know it? I mean, she wasn’t in any condition yesterday, and if she’s not up yet…”

Margaret looked past Carolyne and her eyebrows shot up. “Well! What a change. What’s she wearing?”

“Sister!” Mary turned to Carolyne, her blue hair bobbing as she shook her head in apology. “She didn’t mean that. We found something for her to wear. Yesterday, well, she couldn’t very well wear that, now, could she?” Mary thrust out the clothes she held.

Carolyne bit back a smile at the age-old dress that
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had obviously belonged to one of the sisters back in the forties or earlier. “It was very stylish,” Mary offered.

“Doesn’t look like she needs it now,” Margaret har-rumphed. “And what is her name?”

Carolyne sighed. “Ladies, please come meet a family friend.” She turned and headed toward Meghan, hearing the two women shuffling along behind her.

She smiled gently at the shell-shocked Meghan.

“Meghan, this is Mary and Margaret—”

“I remember you!”

Both women stepped back in surprise.

Meghan blushed at her exclamation. “I’m sorry. I—

it’s the smile—” she glanced at Mary “—and your eyes,” she said to Margaret.

Both women beamed, any past transgressions forgotten at Meghan’s inadvertent flattery.

“Well, now, child. I have to say I don’t remember you,” Margaret tut-tutted as she bustled over to Meghan and studied her closely.

“I used to play with Cody.” Feeling the close scru-tiny, she flushed.

“A young blond-haired girl,” Carolyne supplied.

Margaret frowned. “Mud pies.”

“Oh yes,” Mary affirmed. “I remember that. A little girl and Cody were famous for waiting until we weren’t looking and going out back near the alley to dig in the ditch to make mud pies. We were always shooing them out of there.”

Mary giggled.

“They made a mess, they did,” Margaret grunted. “I was afraid I was going to step in one of those holes and break my leg.”

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“Oh, sister, they weren’t that big,” Mary argued.

Margaret simply whistled as if ignoring her sister.

Mary frowned.

Carolyne thought it time to intervene. “Why don’t we go into the other room and have a seat.”

They headed into the living room.

“We were just about to discuss what we were going to do today.” They all took a seat.

“Well, that is obvious.” Margaret glanced over at Meghan, leaving them all mystified as to what Margaret meant.

“Now, sister,” Mary argued. “Let’s get to know her first.” The pointed look she shot Margaret seemed to belie her words, making Meghan uncomfortable.

“What brought you here?” Margaret asked.

Meghan blinked, taken aback by the direct question.

But Margaret didn’t let up. “Obviously you thought Pastor Cody could help you.”

“And I’m sure he can,” Mary added. Mary followed her sister’s gaze. “He and Carolyne are the sweetest people and such wonderful neighbors.”

“Be that as it may,” Margaret added, “you came here for something. That much is obvious.”

“Now, ladies,” Carolyne intervened. “Let’s not put Meghan on the spot.”

Margaret backed off.

The room fell quiet.

Meghan shrugged. “I have multiple sclerosis.” Her eyes were downcast, so she didn’t see the sisters’ reac-tions, but Carolyne did. And Meghan certainly heard them.