Home Alone (4 page)

Kevin gasped, remembering the fight over the pizza the night before. He'd wished his family would disappear! Could it be? Was it possible?

"I made my family disappear," Kevin whispered. But as he thought of his family, he remembered that Megan had called him an idiot, Linnie said he was
les incompetent
, Tracy said he was a disease, Uncle Frank called him a jerk and had pulled down his pants. And now he was supposed to feel bad for those dorks? No way. A small smile appeared on his face. This could be great!

In the OHKAY Plumbing and Heating van, Harry and Marv watched the Murphys pack up their station wagon and drive away. Harry leaned back in his seat.

"Okay," he said with a satisfied grin. "They're all gone and none of 'em will be back until after Christmas. And the great part is they told me from their own mouths."

"It's almost too easy," Marv said.

"Remember the old days?" Harry asked, lighting the butt of a half-smoked cigar. "Everybody stayed home for the holidays."

"Now it's off to Hawaii, Aspen, Paris," Marv said. "Whatever happened to sittin' around the fireplace with your family, roastin' chestnuts and singin' Christmas carols?"

"People have become cynical," Harry said, shaking his head. "Everyone's too jaded. It's just another sign of the moral decay of contemporary society."

"Yeah," Marv nodded. "So Which house you wanna rob first?"

Kate still couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. Here I am, sitting in first class, she thought. Going on a wonderful family vacation. Why should I feel like this?

"What is it, honey?" Peter asked.

"I don't know," Kate said. "I have this terribly anxious feeling."

"About what?" Peter asked.

"That we didn't do something," Kate said. "It's just that we left in a hurry." Peter slid his arm around her shoulders and tried to reassure her. "I'm sure we took care of everything."

"Did I turn off the coffee machine?" Kate asked.

"I'm almost certain I did," said Peter.

"And we locked the house?" Kate said.

"Absolutely."

"You put the timers on the lights?" Kate asked.

"Check," said Peter with a smile. "And I closed the garage door."

"Did we put the answering machine on?" Kate asked.

"That's it!" Peter said. "Honey, I forgot. But look at it this way. We won't have to listen to all those dumb messages when we get home. And anyone with something important will call again."

Kate nodded.

"Do you feel better?" Peter asked. "Now that we know What it is?"

But Kate shook her head. "That wasn't it."

"I don't get it," said Peter. "what else could it be?"

Munching on a bag of popcorn he'd just nuked in the microwave, Kevin stepped back into Buzz's room. This was great, just great! He could get his revenge on everyone. He could do whatever he pleased.

"Hey, Buzz," he shouted gleefully. "I'm in your room and I:m gonna go through all your private stuff! You better come out and pound me! Nah nah!"

He knew that Buzz kept a secret suitcase under his bed with all kinds of cool stuff in it. Kevin crawled under and pulled the suitcase out.

"Oh, cool!" he whispered as he opened it and found a whole mat of firecrackers and a box of BBs. Whoa! Kevin thought. What does Buzz need these for . . . unless he has a BB gun!

Kevin jumped up and looked around. Their parents didn't allow them to play with guns, but Buzz must've snuck one in. Good old Buzz. Kevin looked up at the bookcases on the wall. A little piece of brown plastic was visible on the highest shelf. Kevin climbed up on his brother's desk to get a better look. There it was! The BB gun and a tin baseball-card box.

Kevin opened the box. Inside were some $10 and $20 bills.

"Forget the money," Kevin whispered, closing the box and grabbing the gun. "It's time for target practice!"

Out in the hall Kevin lined up all of Buzz's sports figurines on the edge of the laundry chute. Then he walked to the opposite wall and picked up the BB gun.

"For the crime of belonging to my rashy brother and allowing yourself to be displayed in the pigsty he calls his room," Kevin announced. "I sentence you to death by BB wounds and falling all the way down the laundry chute to the creepy basement, where you'll die of massive head injuries."

Kevin aimed the BB gun at Don Mattingly.
POW!
Don Mattingly's head flew off and his body fell into the chute.
POW! POW!
He got Magic Johnson in the knee and shoulder.
POW!
Joe Montana sustained a severe stomach wound.

"This is the life," Kevin said with a smile.

Two houses away Harry and Marv carried armloads of stolen goods to their van.

"It was nice of these People to give their Christmas gifts before they went away," Marv said as he carried a brand-new Sony Trinitron TV set.

"Yeah," said Harry, who was carrying a Panasonic laser disc player. "Real considerate."

"So you want to get the house next door?" Marv asked.

"Naw," said Harry. "All this work makes me hungry. Let's break for lunch and hit it this afternoon."

"Honey, you have to calm down," Peter said softly. "You're driving yourself crazy with worry over nothing."

"It's killing me, Peter." Kate was wracked with anxiety. She'd never felt this way before. All around her seat were little pieces of napkin she'd nervously torn up.

"But we've been over and over it," Peter said. "Everything's fine. We're here. The kids are here—"

Kate's eyes went wide. She jumped up and dashed through the curtain into the coach section.

"Kate, wait!" Peter followed her. "What's wrong?" Kate stared at the rows of passengers. The plane was full and most of them were reading or sleeping, but a few stared back at her. Kate searched for a familiar face and saw Megan.

"Megan, where's Kevin?"

"Uh, I think he's sitting over there," said Megan. "No, maybe he's behind me."

Kate moved down the aisle, staring at the faces, Fuller, Sondra, Jeff . . . but no Kevin.

"Heather!"

Startled, Heather looked up from a magazine. "Yes?"

"Where's Kevin?" Kate gasped.

"Uh, uh," Heather looked around. "I don't know."

In no time Kate had worked her way to the smoking section. Kevin wouldn't be back here, would he? She didn't see him anywhere.

Kate reached the back of the plane. All the bathrooms said "Unoccupied," but she checked them anyway. They were empty.

"Oh, no!" she gasped. "Oh, no!"

A stewardess in the rear galley scowled at her. "Can I help you?" she asked.

Suddenly the words burst out of Kate's mouth. "
STOP THE PLANE!
"

Twelve dead sports figurines lay in a laundry basket in the basement. Kevin was in the family room watching the tape Uncle Frank wouldn't let him watch last night. A half-gallon container of chocolate fudge swirl was sitting on the coffee table, the ice cream inside slowly melting. Kevin dipped his spoon into it. He liked his ice cream soft.

On the TV a big gangster with scars on his face was standing in an apartment, talking through a door.

"Who is it?" the gangster asked.

"It's me, Snakes," someone answered. "I got the stuff."

"Leave it on the doorstep and get outa here," the gangster snapped.

"All right Johnny. But what about my money?" the guy on the other side of the door asked.

"What money?" the gangster snarled.

"Acey said you'd have some dough for me."

"Is that a fact?" asked the gangster, picking up a machine gun. "How much do I owe you?"

Kevin hit the "hold" button on the remote and had another spoonful of ice Cream. This movie wasn't so scary. Uncle Frank was just dumb.

"Hey, Uncle Frank!" Kevin shouted happily. "Hey, the rest of you guys! I'm watching rubbish and eating junk! You better stop me! Nah, nah!"

Kevin hit the "play" button. The gangster opened the door and a thin baby-faced guy stepped nervously into the apartment. The gangster leaned close to the thin guy. "I'll tell you what I'm gonna give you, Snakes," the gangster sneered. "I'm gonna give you to the count of ten to get your ugly, yellow, no-good face off my property before I pump you fulla lead."

"Awright, Johnny. I'm sorry. I'm goin'," the thin guy gasped, backing away.

"One, two . . . ten!" the gangster snarled.

The next thing Kevin knew, the gangster started firing. Kevin's jaw dropped.

"That's not fair!" Kevin shouted at the TV. "He didn't count right!"

On the TV the gangster stopped shooting.

"Keep the change, you filthy animal," he muttered.

Kevin grabbed the remote. He'd seen enough movies to know what was going to happen next. They were going to show the thin guy's bullet riddled body. He hit the "stop" button just in time, then stood in the middle of the family room, trembling. He looked out the window. It had been gray outside all day, but now it was starting to get dark. All of a sudden he felt very scared and very alone.

Harry and Marv had just finished looting the house next to the McCallisters'. Now they sat in their van, surveying the street. Harry glanced at his wristwatch.

"Check this out," he said. "All these houses have automatic timers to turn on the lights at night even if no one's home. It's time for the Murphys' house to light up."

Across the street the lights in the Murphys' house went on.

"Now doesn't that make you think the Murphys are home?" Marv laughed.

"Here come the McCallisters'," Harry said.

Across the street a few lights went on in Kevin's house.

"Looks like Mr. MeCallister's trying to save on his electric bill," Marv said.

"Don't kid yourself," Harry said. "That's the one, Marv. That's the silver tuna,"

"Oh, yeah?"

"It's loaded," Harry said. "Top-flight goods. Antiques, collectables, objects d'art, VCRs, stereos, TVs. I say we're looking at jewelry, a nice stash of cash, maybe a couple of marketable securities. It's a gem, Marv."

"Then let's rob it," Marv said eagerly.

"Naw, we gotta unload all the stuff we took from the other houses first," said Harry. "We'll come back and hit it later."

Kate was trying to breathe Steadily and not go completely berserk. The copilot of the plane, a young man who looked barely old enough to shave, was talking to her.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. McCallister," he said. "But we never turn a plane around. Not even for first-class passengers. Besides, we're closer to Paris now than Chicago."

"But my helpless seven-year-old baby isn't in Paris," Kate snapped angrily. "He's all by himself back in Chicago!"

The copilot said he was sorry again and returned to the cockpit. Kate slumped back in her seat and pressed her fingers over her eyes.

"I don't understand it," said Heather. She and Buzz had come up from the coach seats to find out what was going on. "I know I counted eleven kids."

"Listen, everyone," Peter said soothingly. "Kevin's an intelligent boy. He won't do anything stupid."

"He can't even make a sandwich!" Kate cried.

"I read that people can live on water for weeks," said Buzz, trying to be helpful.

"Go away!" Kate screamed at him. The other first-class passengers stared at her, but Kate didn't care. Aunt Leslie put her hand on Kate's shoulder.

"We'll call as soon as we land," she squeaked. "I'm sure everything's okay."

Meanwhile, Uncle Frank took Peter aside.

"Listen," Frank said. "If it'll make you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses."

Peter stared back at Frank. I can't believe this idiot is my brother, he thought.

Harry parked the van in the McCallisters' driveway. Marv reached behind the seat for the crowbar.

"Man, I can taste it," Harry said as he got out. "I'm telling you, Marv, this is the score that's gonna set us up for life."

"How do you want to go in?" Marv asked, tapping the crowbar against his palm.

"Same way as the others," Harry said "All these houses have stairs in the back leading down to the cellar. We go in and out through the cellar. That way no one sees us from the street."

He and Marv headed for the back of the house.

Kevin sat in the study trying to watch TV. Some lights had gone on before. Kevin knew they were connected to the automatic timer his dad had installed. But his father had only hooked the timer up to a few lights and the house seemed dim and spooky. Well, there was an easy way to fix that. Kevin went upstairs and started turning on all the lights.

Marv had no trouble breaking the lock on the cellar door. He took out a tiny pen flashlight and looked around.

"Wow, what a mess," he whispered to Harry. Parts of mannequins were lying here and there, along with cans of paint and roof tar, boxes of Christmas ornaments, and all kinds of gardening tools.

"We're not here to clean," Harry hissed behind him. "We're here to rob the place. Now come on."

Kevin finished turning on the upstairs lights and started downstairs. He got to the kitchen and turned on the counter TV and the radio, too. Then, for extra good measure, he hit the switch near the door that turned on the basement lights.

In the basement Harry and Marv were suddenly bathed in light.

"What the—?" Marv gasped.

"We gotta get out of here!" Harry hissed.

They turned and ran as fast as they could without knocking anything over. Moments later they climbed out of the basement, got into the van and pulled out of the driveway.