Holiday Homecoming (8 page)

“Come in here,
sweetheart. I wanna talk to you about somethin’.”

“What is it?”
She sat down in the leather chair across from him, leaning forward
when he reached for her hand. “What’s going on? You should be
thrilled, yet you seem… I don’t know, so somber.”

“I’ve been
doin’ a lot of thinkin’ lately.” He slid the diamond rings around
on her fingers. “I’ve been so blessed in my life. You, Alisa, now a
grandbaby. It doesn’t get much better than that.”

“But?”
Sierra’s heart began to race. She’d never known her husband to be
indecisive. He spoke his mind and dealt with the fallout, yet
lately he seemed to be withdrawing and it scared her. Communication
was the foundation of their relationship and they promised each
other, no matter what, they’d always talk about what bothered them.
They learned the hard way how much misery and heartbreak silence
could cause.

“I’ve been
lucky in my life, so damn lucky.” He glanced at a row of platinum
records hanging behind his desk. “I don’t know what the hell I did
to deserve all this.” He pointed to his favorite acoustic guitar,
sitting upright in a stand in the corner. “You know how many
thousands of people have a great voice, yet they never make it in
this business?”

Trey had
always been humble about his success. That was one of the things
she loved about him, but he didn’t downplay his accomplishments. He
worked harder than anyone she knew, and that work ethic allowed him
to believe he earned his success. “Honey, where’s all this comin’
from?”

“All good
things must come to an end, right? Isn’t that what they say?
Nothin’ lasts forever and all that shit?” He chuckled as he
released her hand and leaned back in the leather club chair. He
closed his eyes and tipped his head back.

She waited for
him to continue, but when he said nothing, she felt compelled to
ask, “Does this have something to do with us? Are you trying to
tell me you’re unhappy?”

His eyes flew
open and he raised his head, looking her in the eye a long time
before he asked, “You can’t be serious. Don’t you know that you’re
my anchor? Without you, none of this…” He raised his hands,
gesturing to the awards lining the built-in books shelves. “None of
this means a goddamn thing to me. You’re the reason I wake up in
the mornin’, Sierra. You and our family.”

Sierra finally
felt like she could breathe again when he gave her the reassurance
she hadn’t realized she needed. She hadn’t thought about that dark
time when she and Trey were divorced in so long. As much as she
wanted to forget that time in their lives, she knew it would always
be a part of her, a painful reminder of what could happen when you
took the love of your life for granted.

“When you left
me…” His voice cracked and she held up her hand to silence him.

“Trey, we
don’t have to go there. That was a long time ago.”

“Yeah, but
it’s important to me that you know. Hell, I don’t ever wanna forget
what I went through back then. It reminds me to never take you or
what we have for granted, ’cause it could all be gone like that.”
He snapped his fingers. “If God took you away from me, I don’t
think I could go on.”

“Don’t think
about that. Not tonight.” She placed a hand on his knee. “This is
supposed to be a happy time. We just welcomed our first grandchild
into the world. Let’s just enjoy that, instead of looking back on
times we’d rather forget.”

Almost as
though he didn’t hear her, he continued. “I’d fall into bed drunk,
and I’d wake up in the mornin’ and the first thing I’d do is reach
for a drink.”

She knew he
was talking about the time they were apart. Trey had always loved a
good party, and scotch was his drink of choice, but he didn’t start
overindulging until they lost their baby girl, Callie. “You were
trying to cope with our loss the only way you knew how, Trey.”

“I know. I
spent years in AA tryin’ to come to terms with the fact that bein’
an alcoholic is just a part of who I am. Some days I still think
about havin’ a drink… like tonight.”

Sierra’s
stomach clenched. She hadn’t heard him admit to being tempted by
the lure of alcohol in a long time.

“I was so
scared. I couldn’t get it out of my mind, what happened the night
Callie died. I kept seein’ that look on your face, like you
couldn’t stand the sight of me. I know you blamed me for her death,
Sierra. If we hadn’t been arguin’… if I hadn’t been drivin’ too
fast, we never would have gotten in that argument. I wouldn’t have
lost control, and our baby girl wouldn’t have been born too
soon.”

In spite of
what Trey thought, she’d never blamed him for their daughter’s
death. It simply wasn’t meant to be, and while it took her years to
come to terms with it, she finally had. The charity she founded
raised millions of dollars to help grieving families who lost their
babies, and immersing herself in the cause helped her to heal. Her
husband never found a way to come to terms with their loss.

She reached
for his hands. The hands that had loved and comforted her most of
her adult life. The hands that made him a millionaire hundreds of
times over, made millions of people laugh, cry, and sing along with
his songs. He was unlike anyone she ever knew and the fact that he
chose her as his wife and best friend humbled her every day.

“You will
never know how much I admire you, Trey. You think that I blame you,
that I hold you responsible, but you’re so wrong. My heart aches
for the pain you’ve had to endure because of what happened to
Callie. I just want you to let it go so you can be free. So we can
both be free of it.”

“I always
thought that letting go of the guilt would be disparagin’ her
memory, but when I looked into that baby’s eyes tonight, I realized
somethin’. Life’s a cycle. Things begin and end when they’re
supposed to. I’ll never know why Callie’s life was cut so short,
but during the time she was here, she taught me to love with my
whole heart in a way that I never had before. Because of her, I
learned to love with no boundaries, and I think in the end that
made me a better husband, father, and songwriter.”

She leaned
forward to kiss him, smiling against his lips when he held the back
of her head to deepen the kiss. “I’m glad to hear you say that,”
she said, touching her forehead to his. “Maybe your grandson can
help you to find what you need… closure.”

“I think you
might be right.” He held her hands as she sat on the edge of her
seat waiting for him to continue. “Speakin’ of closure, that’s
another thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okay.”

“I think I was
born with music coursin’ through my veins.” He smiled. “For a long
time, I thought football was my passion, my purpose, but when that
fell apart, I realized it happened for a reason, because music is
what I was meant to do with my life.”

“No doubt
about it. Your music has touched millions of people, probably in
ways you can’t even begin to imagine.” Sierra had read dozens of
letters and emails over the years from Trey’s fans. They told him
that his music about love and loss helped them through a difficult
period in their lives. It gave them hope that things could get
better when they were on the verge of giving up and ending it all.
They’d listen to his songs over and over again, knowing the loss he
suffered, and came to believe that if he could find happiness
again, maybe they could too.

“That’s been
the greatest gift of all,” he said, quietly. “Sure, the money and
the awards are nice, but knowing that I’ve touched people, that my
music has impacted them in some way, that’s the best feelin’ in the
world.”

“I can
imagine.”

“It’s the
music I love. It’s always been a part of me. I know that now.” He
sighed. “But the truth is, I’m getting’ tired, baby. Tired of
tourin’, tired of spendin’ hours and hours in the studio. I think
it’s time…”

Sierra
couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She’d never heard her
husband talk about retiring before. She never thought she’d live to
see the day when he didn’t look forward to going out on the road
and entertaining his legions of fans.

“I’ll still
write music, but I gotta face facts. This is a young man’s game,
and I’m not young anymore. I wanna take time to slow down and enjoy
life before it’s too late.”

“You really
think you can be happy without the crowds and excitement?” Sierra
would love to have more time with her husband, but not if it meant
he was sacrificing his happiness to give her something he thought
she needed. She’d learned a long time ago to love Trey exactly as
he was, and she learned to embrace the music that completed
him.

“I do.” He
rubbed his thumb back and forth across her hand. “I can write music
from anywhere in the world. I’ll still get the pleasure of hearin’
my songs on the radio, knowin’ my words are touchin’ people. It
just won’t be my voice behind the words anymore, and I’m okay with
that.”

“Are you sure
about this? I don’t want you to do this because of me. Because you
think it’s something I want or need. I’m happy with our life the
way it is.”

“No, I need to
do this for me. It’s time to move on to a new chapter. I’m excited
when I think about all the free time I’ll have to spend with you
and our grandbaby.” He winked. “Hell, I may even take up golf.”

She laughed as
he leaned in for a kiss. “Now that I’d like to see.”

The sun was
just starting to rise by the time Brianna pulled Ryan’s car into
his driveway.

“You know, you
didn’t have to drive me home,” he said, shifting in his seat to
face her as she cut the engine. “I haven’t had a drop to drink in
hours.”

“I don’t care.
It’s not worth the risk, especially not with snow on the road,” she
said, dropping his keys into his hand. “I’ll just catch a ride back
to Trey and Sierra’s house with my parents later. It’s no big
deal.”

“I hope it’s
not too much for Alisa, havin’ a big family dinner so soon
after...”

Brianna
smiled. “Liam won’t let her lift a finger. Besides, they all
thought it would be easier if they spent the first night or two
with Trey and Sierra.”

Ryan tipped
his head back against the leather seat and closed his eyes. “Man,
it’s been one hell of a night, hasn’t it?”

Brianna
giggled. “I don’t know that I’ve ever had a pancake breakfast at
four in the morning before.”

“You don’t
know what you’re missin’. I’m usually just rollin’ in around this
time. I can’t tell you how many times my buddies and I have found
an all-night diner so we could have bacon and eggs before we hit
the sheets.”

“Don’t you
ever get tired of keeping up that pace? I get tired just thinking
about it. Of course, you and I have always been as different as two
people could be.”

It bothered
him that she didn’t see all of the things they had in common. They
loved the same music, laughed like a couple of kids on
rollercoasters, and played video games like their lives were on the
line. “We’re not really so different, Bri.”

“Oh, please,”
she said, hiding a yawn behind her hand. “You live for the party
while I always seem to have my nose buried in some book.”

“Yeah, but
you’re gonna be a lawyer in a few short months, so I’d say your
dedication paid off.” At the risk of getting too serious, something
he rarely did, he said, “I’m really proud of you.”

She blushed
and dipped her head. “Thanks, Ry.”

A figure at
his front door drew his attention and he muttered a curse.

“Looks like
you’ve got company.”

Ryan had dated
Gayle on and off for the past year. She was a flight attendant who
often needed a place to crash when she was in town, so he’d shown
her where he kept his spare key. They agreed his bed was as good a
place as any, but that was before he started to question his
feelings for Brianna.

“I should get
home.” She reached for the door handle. “Have fun with… what’s her
name.” She turned back to look at him. “You gonna bring her to
Christmas dinner?”

“No!” He
planned to get rid of her as soon as possible. “Hey, at least let
me walk you home.”

“Don’t be
silly. It’s only a few blocks. Besides, it’s light outside
now.”

“I don’t
care.” He opened the car door and stepped out, grateful for the
bite of wind that helped wake him up. “This will just take a
second, Bri.” He ran up to the door and Gayle pulled him into a
hug.

Brianna
followed him up the driveway. “Hi,” Brianna said, raising her hand
to acknowledge Gayle. “I hope you didn’t have to wait too long for
him to come home. We were having a get-together with family and
friends when my cousin went into labor. Can you believe that?”

“No way!”
Gayle braced a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, neither blushing nor
shivering in her lingerie. “Are they okay… your cousin and the
baby?”

“Yeah, they’re
fine. She had the baby at home with a midwife. Can you imagine
delivering an eight pound baby without benefit of pain meds?” The
two women shared a laugh and Brianna said, “When my time comes, I
want the epidural as soon as possible. I have no tolerance for
pain.” She hit Ryan on the arm. “Remember that time I sprained my
finger playing softball? I cried all the way to the doctor’s
office.”

Ryan looked at
her a long time before he said, “Yeah, I remember.” Why had it
taken him so long to realize Brianna wasn’t that little girl
anymore?

“Well, I
better get home.” She offered a hand to Gayle. “Since he obviously
forgot the manners his sweet mama tried like hell to instill…” She
nudged Ryan out of the way, giggling when he stumbled. “I’m
Brianna. Ry and I are practically family.”

Gayle regarded
the pair before accepting the hand Brianna offered. “Is that
right?”