Holiday Affair (13 page)

“Just at work,” said Lissy. “We have a deadline looming.” Mrs. Mac still looked skeptical as Lissy backed out of the driveway.

She always enjoyed the drive from Armidale down to the coast. The road wound past the green pastures of the huge cattle properties on the fertile plateau for the first hundred miles, before it meandered through the quaint village of Dorrigo, perched on the edge of the escarpment.

A flashing sign at the top of the mountain road advised the roadway would be closed for repair at the night from Friday through Monday.

The drive down from the top of the mountain to the coast through the World Heritage rainforest always made Lissy nervous as the narrow, winding road passed two waterfalls that often crossed the roadway in heavy rain.

Crews were constantly repairing the road as the mountain was unstable and there were frequent rock falls. Although the scenery was breathtaking, Lissy breathed a sigh of relief as she reached the bottom of the mountain and turned on to the flatlands of the Bellinger River valley.

An hour later, she turned into the driveway of Gramp’s old fishing cottage behind the dunes of Black Rock Beach. The afternoon light had faded and the headlights lit the front of the old cottage. The grass was long and newspapers littered the front porch. Removing the key from under the big rock in the unkempt garden, Lissy squealed when a sticky spider web clung to her face as she crossed the porch. Her footsteps echoed on the wooden floorboards of the front hall and she swallowed a sob, her throat aching, when she saw Gramps’s raincoat hanging on the hook inside the front door. The house was silent and cold, and she looked at the mess scattered throughout the small space. Piles of newspapers covered the table and chairs, and boxes of old fishing gear lined the bench along the wall.

Next weekend, when Mum is here…This weekend is
to recharge my emotional batteries, not cry over Gramp’s
belongings.
It was late and she was tired, so after a quick sandwich and a wash, she went to bed in her old room. The gentle lull of the waves breaking on the sand lulled her off to the deepest sleep she had had all week.

The screeching of the rainbow lorikeets woke her the next morning. Lying in bed, she watched the birds hang upside down in the huge bottlebrush tree outside her window as they ate the honey from the red flowers. Their squawking contrasted with the muted roar of the ocean coming over the dunes. Stretching, she stepped out of bed feeling more at ease than she had for weeks. This was her true home, and the familiar sights, smells and sounds soothed her soul
.

She pulled on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, appreciating the warmth of the coast. Even though it was early winter, the warmth from the ocean kept the temperature mild all year. Putting some money in her back pocket for breakfast at the cafe on her way back, she headed off for a walk along the beach. Lissy waved at a few familiar faces as she walked to the boat ramp. Recognizing Harvey’s old four-wheel drive and rusted trailer, she realized he was still out fishing for the morning. Crossing the esplanade, she headed up the hill and walked onto the veranda of the coffee shop on the headland overlooking the beach. She would sit with a coffee and paper and wait for the fishing boats to come in.

“Hey, Kevin,” she said greeting the owner of the coffee shop.

“Hi, Lissy, long time since we’ve seen you. How’s life up on the tablelands?”

“Pretty good, thanks. How’s business?”

“Tourists have been steady and fishing’s good. Have you caught up with old Harve yet?”

Shaking her head, Lissy ordered her coffee and gazed out over the ocean. She saw a couple of fishing boats in the southern bay and she tried to concentrate on them rather than the thoughts that were crowding her head.

She had blocked them all week and had concentrated on her research. She would love to share this view with Nick.

With her chin, propped on her hand, she gazed out over the ocean, wondering how it would feel if he were here sharing breakfast with her.

Pushing that thought from her mind, she realized she needed to sort out the situation in her head—and heart—

before she went back up the mountain to her life in Armidale. She was so sorry that Tom was caught up in the middle of her affairs with Nick, but it couldn’t be helped.

Tom clearly knew something was going on. She sighed as she tried to analyze her feelings for Nick.

For the life of her, she could not read him. One minute, she was sure that he cared for her and showed how kind and thoughtful he could be. The next moment, he was cold as ice and treated her with contempt. She compared the happy-go-lucky bum of the islands with the cold and unreachable professor at the university. Unless he was in her bed, everything was different.

The wind blew softly from the ocean and Lissy pushed a strand of wayward curls back and sipped her coffee.

After she had slept with him last weekend, she had been trying to fight her strong attraction to him. She would be sensible and apply logic to the situation. A relationship with him would never succeed, even if he did want her.

The attraction was purely physical. When his immediate need was satisfied, he lost interest in her. It had happened twice, no matter what he said. Each time they slept together, he walked out and left her.

So, Lissy, move on and ignore the attraction…or just
take what he offers and enjoy the sex.

She paid for her coffee and headed back to the beach.

Harvey’s boat was coming in through the break. He sent one of his crew up to get the boat trailer and unload the fish boxes when he spotted Lissy waiting on the sand.

Arms outstretched and a huge grin on his weathered face, Harvey held her tightly for a fishy-smelling hug. His hands held her face and looked closely at her, and he gently flicked his finger on her cheek.

“What are these black circles under your eyes, girl?”

“Big drive down after work last night,” she said, grinning back at him.

“Hmm.” He sounded skeptical. “After we’ve finished here, give me time to get the boat cleaned down, and come back for a coffee. This afternoon we’ll have time for a good chat.”

As she turned to walk back home, a large black motorcycle roared up the hill from the beach and her heart jumped in anticipation, even as she shook her head at her foolish hope. She sauntered back along the sand track to Gramps’s cottage, and even though the water would be chilly, she decided to have a swim while she waited for Harvey to get his boat home. Putting on her bikini, she found a clean beach towel and headed back through the dunes to the beach and ran into the waves. The cold water was exhilarating and she floated on her back, letting the waves wash over her, clearing her mind and gazing at the cloudless sky. Goose bumps eventually sent her from the water and she headed up the beach toward the dunes, away from the northeasterly breeze that was starting to tip the waves with white caps out in the bay.

Flopping on to the towel, Lissy lay on her stomach, with her head on the soft white sand. Her eyes slowly closed. She dozed, drifting in and out of a light sleep, lulled by the sound of the surf and the happy shrieks of children splashing in the waves. The gulls swooped and squawked above the dunes, and the sun warmed her bare skin. Contentment stole over her like a soft blanket as her mind cleared for the first time in days.

Footsteps on the sand woke her a short time later, and she lay there, eyes closed, enjoying the kiss of the sun on her shoulders. The steps paused and she slowly opened her eyes to see a pair of tanned, male legs in front of her.

With a groan, she rolled over and sat up, knowing without looking up just who those legs belonged to and understanding that those few minutes of peace had come to an end. Nick walked closer and sat down on the edge of her towel. She reached for her T-shirt and pulled it over her head to cover her bikini.

Hunching her knees up against her chest, she snapped at him.

“What the hell are you doing here and how did you find me? Why can’t—”

“I asked Mrs. Mac where you were when I couldn’t get ahold of you this morning.” He put his hand on her arm to stop her as she attempted to push herself to her feet.

Lissy shook his hand off angrily and stood up, looking down at him and watching warily as he played with handfuls of sand, funnelling it through his fingers as though he didn’t have a care in the world. He repeated the action three times without either of them speaking a word until she couldn’t stand it any longer. She kneeled down next to him on the towel, her eyes level with his as he played with the sand. She put her hands on his shoulders and felt the instant jolt of heat through her fingertips as she gripped him tightly.

“Nick,” she said, enunciating each word clearly as though she was speaking to a child. “You didn’t come here to build sandcastles. What are you doing here?” His hand stilled and he lifted his eyes to meet hers.

“The simple truth, Lissy? I had to come. I couldn’t stay away from you.”

He reached for her and tried to pull her into his arms.

Her body trembled as a sudden strength surged through her. She pushed him and he fell back on her towel as she stood and ran through the dunes, leaving him lying on the sand. The passion she’d experienced with him was already unforgettable, and had touched her in ways she had never felt before. If she allowed him to touch her again, she didn’t think she would have the strength to face his next rejection.

Much easier to stop him now
. She was panting by the time she reached the cottage and she slammed the door shut behind her. Standing at the sink, gripping the edge of the bench, she looked out the window at the big black motorcycle parked in the driveway. Her heartbeat slowly returned to normal, her anger subsiding. She reached for the kettle and stood wearily waiting for him to follow her, as she knew he would.

…

Nick waited on the beach for a couple of minutes before he followed her. It was important that he say the right thing to her and not come across as an adolescent with raging hormones. The look on her face as his lust flared had unsettled him; he didn’t want to hurt her anymore than he already had. He walked up the track through the dunes and pushed open the squeaky screen door and entered the old fishing cottage. Waiting beside the door and watching her warily as she stood at an old stone sink, he waited for her to invite him in. He looked at her white knuckles and felt a pang of regret for the distress he had caused her.

Lissy looked at him for what seemed an eternity before silently pointing to a chair at the old wooden table.

As she made a pot of tea, he noticed the tense set of her shoulders and nodded his thanks when she put an old chipped mug in front of him.

Pouring her tea, she wrapped her hands around her mug before moving across to the other side of the room, and sitting on a chair under the window. She raised a shaking finger and pointed at him. Her voice trembled, and he could see the control she was exerting over her emotions. Her face was flushed and her eyes wide as she sat, with her long, bare legs tucked underneath her.

“Stay there. I don’t want you anywhere near me at the moment.” She sipped her tea and looked at him over the rim of the mug. “I don’t trust you, but I’m going to be honest. I can’t think straight when you touch me. You leave me so confused. One minute you want to sleep with me, the next minute you’re not talking to me. I won’t play these mind games any more, Nick. We either have a sexual relationship with mutual honesty or you leave me alone.” Her voice was hard. “Stop turning hot and cold and confusing the hell out of me.” Placing her mug carefully on the kitchen bench, she stood and put her hands on her hips. “Now tell me, why are you here?”

“I was worried about you, Lissy.” Putting his mug on the table, Nick ran his fingers through his short hair. He was still not used to the short haircut. “I wanted to check you were okay.” The guilt was like a brick in his chest and it was overtaking him; the more she shook and seemed to shrink into herself, the worse he felt.

I have to get this sorted out,
he thought.
If we just go
out for a while, have some great sex and then move on, all
this emotional crap will go away.

“Hah! You didn’t come near me all week and then you drive a hundred and fifty miles miles because you’re worried about me. Give me a break,” she said.

“I deliberately left you alone all week, and then I went to see you. I couldn’t find you and Mrs. Mac told me you were down here.”

He chuckled ruefully. “But I got poked in the chest by that big umbrella of hers several times while she sternly told me how much I had upset you.”

She put her tea on the windowsill and looked outside for a long moment. The sun was dropping behind the trees and the late afternoon sunlight darkened the room, making it difficult to see his expression.

“Why, Nick…why? I came to you last Saturday and you threw my feelings back in my face.”

“I was ashamed of my behavior all week, Lissy. I was scared you would take it as a commitment if I responded to you.”

“Did I ask you for commitment?” she asked, her voice frosty. “Me. This is me, Nick. Remember, I don’t do
commitment
, Nick. You know how I feel about that. I don’t believe in the sort of physical attraction we seem to have for each other ending up in any long lasting relationship.”

“I know, Lissy, but I didn’t trust you. I thought I could avoid hurting you, but I think I did the opposite.” He watched as she wrapped her arms around her chest and appeared to go into self-preservation mode.

“Not at all, Nick, I barely gave you a thought. I was busy all week with the research. It’s not long till we go the Cook Islands and I have a heap of writing up to do. I will admit I was a little embarrassed about my behavior at the restaurant, so I kept a bit of a low profile at the university.” Nick knew she was not being honest with him and it amazed him how well he could read her, but he didn’t want to push his luck and upset her even more. She turned away from him and looked out the window, her arms still crossed in front of her. There was also no way he was going to let her know that all he wanted to do was come over and hold her. Not sex, just comfort.