Holdin' On for a Hero (48 page)

“She’s really seeing Dr. Drake?” Ryan asked. “Are you sure? I thought you were just giving her a hard time.”

Paige gave him a look of mock sympathy. “Well, it’s clear as can be that she hasn’t been very honest with you at all. Everyone knows she’s been in therapy for years.”

Ryan looked at Aaron for confirmation. “Is that true?”

Aaron nodded. “I’m afraid so.”

“Why?” Ryan looked from one of them to the other.

“Perhaps you should speak with Kendal,” Aaron suggested. “In the meantime, I’d like to have a word in private with Paige, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure,” Ryan agreed. He did want to talk to Kendal. Suddenly it seemed like everyone he thought he knew had been pulling the wool over his eyes all along.

Senna was silent and still as they rode. Konnor was busy with his own thoughts. Despite what Slater had told him, and Shen’s insistence that he accept the assignment, he didn’t know if he could play this game with Senna Laserian, because Shen was right. She had awakened feelings in him that he had believed were dead.

It had been many years since he had felt any sort of emotion for a woman. His ability to love had died a long time ago when the only woman he had ever loved was gunned down in Syria before his eyes. He had blamed Slater for that for years but eventually he came to blame himself. Since that time he hadn’t cared for another person. Not because he wouldn’t let himself. He simply had no feelings to give.

Then she had walked into his life, quite literally out of the blue. When he saw her that first night, at the school, he had felt something burst to life inside him, something he had thought would never be resurrected. One look at her and he was filled with a hunger he had almost forgotten.

As much as he didn’t want to, he had to admit that the feelings scared him in a way nothing else could. And when he was scared he naturally twisted his fear into anger and rage. That was the only way he could deal with it. Even now he had to maintain strict control over himself so that the defenses that transformed his fear would not erupt.

He cut a look at her, sitting so rigidly in her seat, staring ahead like a statue. His hands tightened on the steering wheel. She was so beautiful with her long dark hair and sea-green eyes. She didn’t seem to be aware of her own beauty. She dressed modestly, in a loose shift of black silk that covered her from neck to knee, only hinting at the curves hidden beneath the material. Her jewelry was simple, no rings, no bracelets, only a single gold chain with an unadorned black opal and a plain gold watch. Elegant and perfect.

Konnor wondered about the things Paige had said about Senna. Slater had promised to have a dossier delivered tomorrow on her, so as yet he knew nothing about her. She didn’t seem like someone with psychological problems.
So what was Paige talking about?

Ryan stood and rubbed his hands over his face. “Why didn’t she tell me?”

“I don’t know.” Kendal looked up at him from where she sat at the kitchen table. “Maybe she was embarrassed.”

“Why didn’t
you
tell me?” He looked at Justin, who sat beside Kendal.

“It wasn’t my place,” Justin replied. “And bear in mind that Kendal wasn’t supposed to tell me to begin with. I’m sure Dr. Drake wouldn’t appreciate knowing that his trusted secretary was discussing his patients outside the office.”

“So how did Paige find out?” Ryan asked.

“She overheard me talking to Aaron one night when the four of us went to dinner,” Kendal said. “See, Aaron had come in to see Dr. Drake. He said he was having some difficulty with all the stress and pressure of his job and thought it might beneficial to have someone to discuss things with. A lot of professional people are in therapy, you know. In fact, it’s kind of a fad. Anyway, Senna was leaving one afternoon when he arrived for an appointment. He didn’t mention it at the time, but when we went to dinner he brought it up and…well, I had been drinking a little and kind of let things slip. But I didn’t know he would tell Paige!”

Ryan paced back and forth for a few seconds. “So, do you think that’s why she left with Konnor? Because reference was made to her being in therapy?

“I don’t know,” Kendal realized. “Paige
was
pretty nasty.”

“She didn’t mean—”

“Dammit, Ryan, why do you always defend her?” Kendal jumped up. “Is there something going on between you two?”

Ryan looked away as he answered. “Of course not!”

Kendal’s hands went to her hips. “I might have known.”

“Honey, don’t jump to conclusions,” Justin urged. “Ryan and Paige work together. When you spend that much time with someone you naturally develop a relationship with them. But that doesn’t mean they’re having an affair.”

“Doesn’t it?” She looked pointedly at Ryan.

“I’m not going to discuss this,” he said and started for the back door. “I’m going to see Senna.”

Kendal and Justin watched him leave. “Maybe I should call and warn her he’s on his way,” Kendal said.

“I think we both should stay out of it.”

“But she’s my friend!”

He took her arm and steered her out of the room. “You mean she used to be.”

Senna was so caught up in being humiliated and hurt about being betrayed by her friends, and her insecurity about being with Konnor, that she didn’t pay attention to the direction they were headed. Suddenly she noticed there were no longer any streetlights.

“Where are we going?

“Somewhere quiet.”

She watched his profile for a few moments, trying to think of something to say. She didn’t really know anything about him and normally she didn’t put herself into the position of being with anyone she didn’t know and trust.

“What type of martial arts do you teach?” she asked, trying to fill the silence.

“Shorinji Kempo.”

“Exactly what is that?”

Konnor looked at her for a moment then back at the road. “It is essentially a modern style of karate that was created by So Doshin sometime after the Second World War. Shorinji Kempo is the Japanese translation of the Chinese
Shaolin-si
, combined with
Quanfa
, which means kempo. The
Shaolin-se
was a very family monastery in China where various forms of ‘boxing’ were taught so that the monks could defend themselves.

“So Doshin studied in China for many years and when he returned home to Japan he established a school based on the techniques he had learned at the
Shaolin-si
, and this was known as
Shorinji Kempo
. In the early 1970s it was given the name of
Nippon Shorinji Kempo.”

“Is kempo the same thing as karate?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes.” He glanced at her. “Shorinji Kempo might be described as a mixture of aikido, judo, and karate. According to So Doshin, it teaches us that the body and mind are inseparable and that we should train the two entities by the practice of Kempo and Zen meditation. There are over six hundred postures, displacements, body movements, attacks, blocks and
atemim
, or body blows that place the main emphasis on defense and evasion.”

Senna nodded her comprehension of what he had explained. “And you have reached the level of
Kokoro?”

“Yes.”

“Then you have achieved
kokoro-e”

He gave her a shocked look. ‘Where have you learned such terms?”

“I really don’t know,” she admitted.

“But you understand what
kokoro-e
is?”

“Intellectually, yes…I think. It is the…the spirit of true understanding.”

Konnor nodded with a frown of confusion on his face. “Have you ever been to Japan?”

“No, I don’t think so. I’ve been to China several times when I was a child, and once to Malaysia, but never to Japan. At least not that I remember.”

“Do you have trouble with your memory?”

Senna turned to look at him. “What makes you ask that?”

“You seem upset by the question.”

She turned away and looked out the window. For a long time there was silence. Konnor turned off the paved road onto a gravel drive that wound through the trees. In a clearing stood a small house, finished in natural wood with a wrap-around porch. He stopped the car and turned to look at her.

“Is this your house?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Why did you bring me here?”

“It’s as far from where you were as you can get.”

She turned to look at him curiously. “Now what?”

“Now we either go in and have something to eat, or we sit out here and be cold.”

She didn’t know that it was such a good idea, but her curiosity was aroused. Konnor preceded her to the house and unlocked the door. Senna entered, surprised at what she saw.

The whole house seemed to be open and accessible. The front room, or living area, was separated from the kitchen only by a bar where four bar stools sat. On the right of the living area was a large archway through which she could see the bedroom. On the left was a door leading out to a large deck. It was simple, clean, and uncluttered.

“This is nice,” she said in genuine appreciation.

“Thanks.” He pointed to one of the stools at the bar. “Have a seat.”

She perched on a stool and watched as he took an old iron wok and a big pot from beneath the cabinet then started taking vegetables from the refrigerator.

“You never answered,” he said as he started preparing the food.

“What?”

“Do you have a problem with your memory?”

She looked down at her hands on the counter and for a moment clasped them nervously. She never talked about her past. It was not something she was comfortable talking about. Even Ryan didn’t know, and she had been dating him almost a year.

Konnor turned and looked at her and the moment their eyes met, she changed her mind. She didn’t understand why, but she wanted to tell him. She wanted him to understand.

“Well, it’s a long story,” she said.

“I’m listening,” he replied and turned back to his task.

She took a deep breath and started talking. He finished the meal of vegetables and rice and filled two plates. He sat across from her at the bar as she told him about traveling with her parents when she was young, and about them being killed. She lost her memory and two years of her life. She said only that her Aunt Minora had taken her in after that and that they were very close.

“So when Min was in the accident, I quit Fermilab and took a job teaching at the university so I could be near her,” she finished.

Konnor sipped his tea thoughtfully, studying her face in silence. She began to get uncomfortable under this scrutiny and looked away.

“And you’ve tried to recover your memory of that lost time?” he asked.

She nodded and looked up at him.

“I understand,” he said.

“How could you?”

He set down his cup and leaned back, staring at a point over her head. “Let’s just say that I’ve been in the same boat.”

Senna was amazed. “What happened?”

“That’s something I’d rather not talk about.” His manner was suddenly brusque again.

“Why don’t I help you clean up?” She picked up her plate to take to the sink.

“No.” He reached out to halt her. “I’ll take care of it.”

“I don’t mind,” she argued. “Really, it’s the least I can do.”

“I said no!” His words came out sharp and biting.

She sat the plate down on the counter with a bang. “You don’t have to bite my head off! What is it with you, anyway? One minute you’re coming to my rescue and the next you’re snarling at me.”

Konnor came off his stool, towering over her, and she involuntarily took a step backward. “I’d like to leave.” She tried to sound as calm as possible.

“Go ahead.”

“Do you expect me to walk?” She was shocked at how rude he was.

“I don’t expect anything.”

She didn’t know what to say. He was acting like they hadn’t just spent the last hour or so in pleasant conversation. “Fine.” She started around him with every intention of walking out of the house.

He moved too fast for her to keep from bumping into him when he stepped in front of her. Without thinking, she jumped back and when he reached for her she saw her own arm arc over to block his aside.

A look of shock came over his face and he tried again, this time with the other hand. Again, she reacted without thinking. Her right arm moved up and to the outside, at the same time her left hand moved up, bending across the chest in an angle with her fingers together like a blade.

Konnor dropped his arms to his sides and stared at her. “Where did you learn that?”

She was as surprised as he. She had never reacted that way before and had no idea why she had now. “I don’t know.”

His eyebrows came together in scowl, and then he extended his hand to her. “Come with me.”