Hockey Is My Boyfriend: Part Three (6 page)

A
s I cycled
to work on Monday, I realized that so much had happened since I left there Friday morning. That was one heck of a weekend.

What to do about Jimmy? I wanted to be with him, but I didn’t like the idea of abandoning my whole life. I liked my apartment with April, and while my job wasn’t great, it did have potential.

Regardless of my decision, it was time to lose the whole fake fiancé. While April had suggested an imaginary break-up, I was done with lying and decided to wear all my crap and be done with it. I would march into Cheryl’s office first thing and explain the whole fiasco. She, of all people, would understand why the receptionist needed a shield against unwanted attention.

When I got there, she was already in a meeting, and then I started to lose my nerve. I decided that telling her at the end of the day would work equally well and would allow me to slink out immediately after. She was going to fire me over something this dumb, but it wouldn’t help my reputation as a sane and promotable person.

Minnie-from-Accounting came by to tell me all about her big fight with Jared on the weekend. When she took a breath, I asked her to man the reception desk while I ran out to pick up a catering order for a lunch meeting. I liked Minnie, but it would be a big relief not to have to talk weddings anymore. Last week, she had asked me if I preferred a mermaid or a princess, and I told her it was too early to think about Hallowe’en costumes.

When I returned, Minnie greeted me with a shrill squeal.

“Oh my God, she’s finally back! You’re going to be so surprised and happy.”

“What are you talking about?”

She pointed to the lobby, where someone was stretched out in a leather armchair. As I approached, he turned around. It was Phil. There was a moment of dissonance when I saw him. Phil-in-the-photo was boyish, carefree, and laughing. Phil-in-person looked older and more serious. Instead of a pair of board shorts, real Phil was wearing black jeans, a faded mauve t-shirt, and some kind of ornate belt buckle. Then he smiled his devilish grin at me, and the two Phils came together.

I smiled back and then panicked. What was Phil doing here? My house of lies was going to come crashing down. Which was what I wanted, but I was hoping to avoid the whole public humiliation aspect. Minnie’s squeals had attracted a few people who were milling about the reception desk, pretending not to watch the big reunion.

Phil rose and moved swiftly towards me.

“Hey, Kelly. How’s my gorgeous fiancée? I thought I would fly in and surprise you.” He swooped me up in a big hug and lifted me off my feet. I looked at him in shock and had a brief glimpse of his shit-eating grin before he planted his lips firmly on mine. It felt good, but the tongue part was totally unnecessary. I lost track of the fact I was at work until Minnie began clapping and one of the sales guys let out a hoot.

I broke off the kiss and hissed into his ear, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t stay away, honey bunch,” he replied loudly. “I missed you so much.”

Cheryl spoke up, “Kelly, I’m sure that we can cover the reception desk for you. Why don’t you take an early lunch and go out with Phil?”

“Oh, it’s okay, Cheryl. Um, there’s the planning meeting going on. I can see Phil later.” All I could feel was shock and confusion. My charade had come to life like the worst rom com ever, and I felt embarrassed and guilty.

“Isn’t she a hard worker? You can see why we all love her here, Phil. No, I insist. Why don’t you go someplace romantic for lunch?”

“Sounds good to me—darling,” Phil added. He was holding my hand firmly and wouldn’t let go. So I grabbed my pack and off we went, holding hands. I insisted we go someplace far from the office, so we got in his car and headed to Granville Island.

Once we had ordered our lunches at the Sandbar, I got to ask all my questions.

“What are you even doing here, Phil? Are you not supposed to be in Asia?”

“Why Kelly, I thought I was doing you a favour.” Phil seemed amused at my exasperation.

“How’s that?”

“Well, any guy who was engaged to a beautiful girl like you…” he brushed a strand of hair back from my face, “…would never let months go by without seeing her.”

“How did you even—oh man, it was Ben Cho, wasn’t it? When did he tell you?”

Phil grinned. He seemed to find this whole deal beyond amusing. “I saw him in Hong Kong. But he didn’t understand why you were doing it. I told him it was wish fulfilment—your personal fantasy.”

My mouth dropped open. “What? You think my personal fantasy is to be engaged to you? Are you nuts?”

“I know it’s hard for you to admit,” Phil continued. And then he couldn’t keep a straight face any longer and broke into laughter. He put his fingertip under my chin. “If you could see your face right now.”

“Argh. I did it to keep the guys off my back. Karen had this job first and warned me I was going to get hit on constantly.”

Phil didn’t seem to find this as amusing. “Yeah, Cho figured it was something like that. So, did it work?”

I nodded. “Really well, actually. I told them you were trained in mixed martial arts.” I gave his body a onceover. He looked fine, but he had lost a little weight on the road. “And insanely jealous. That part was no lie.”

“Kelly Tanaka, professional liar. Never thought I’d see the day.”

“I’m not very good at it,” I confessed. “A career as a spy is out for me.”

“What are you doing at that job anyway?” Phil wondered.

“It was the only job I could get in sports media.” I was getting tired of explaining this. “I’m not an in-demand engineering grad like you. And you never answered me, how come you’re here? I thought you were supposed to be backpacking around Asia?”

“I got an e-mail while I was on the road. My engineering firm got the big project they were bidding on, and now it’s all hands on deck.”

“When are you heading back to Calgary?”

“Well, we’re based in Calgary, but this project is actually here. With the Olympics coming up, this city is buzzing, and there’s a ton of construction happening.”

“So, you’re going to be living here?” I swallowed. This week seemed to be getting even more intense. In four days, both Phil and Jimmy were both going to be in the same city as me—and each other.

“Yes, isn’t that convenient? We can act like we’re engaged—day
and
night.” Phil gave me a little eye-fuck to show exactly what he meant by that remark.

“Um, actually, I was planning on telling everyone the truth today. That I’m single.”

“Well, you don’t have to do that anymore.” Phil yawned. “Sorry, I’m still jetlagged.”

“How was your trip?”

“Fantastic. I had to cut it a little short of what we had planned, but I got a fair amount of travelling in already. I really liked Bali. And Japan—you should go to Japan, Kelly.”

I nodded. It was something my dad had suggested a few times, but our family weren’t really big travellers.

“Who’s we?” Maybe I was reading him wrong, and he had a girlfriend. I was pretty sure I had heard that news in the winter.

“I went with some buddies from Calgary.”

Buddies could be women too, but it didn’t sound like some romantic trip for two.

Our lunch arrived, and he continued to tell me about his trip.

“My last stop was Thailand. It’s a beautiful place, but there’s a weird juxtaposition. In some areas, it’s so shitty. You feel like every kind of perversion is for sale. But other regions are an unspoiled paradise, and the Thai people are modest and spiritual.”

“You’re so philosophical. Most guys go there to party on the beach.”

“Well, we did our share of beach parties. Some places, you could still see the effects of the tsunami too—new buildings and construction. Being on a beautiful beach with the moon lighting up the white sand, it was amazing.” He looked up at me. “What are you smiling about?”

“I don’t know. When you get all excited about stuff, it’s cute. It reminds me of when we were kids and you’d convince me to partake in some crazy adventure.”

He chuckled. “They all turned out, didn’t they?”

“Oh sure. I think I still have scars on my knee from that mountain bike obstacle course thing.”

“Hey, I also piggy-backed you home and bandaged up your legs that day.”

“Was that out of friendship, or worry that my mom would kill you?”

“Maybe I just wanted to play doctor.” Phil’s voice was slightly hoarse as he shifted gears. “I take it that the fact you had to pretend you have a boyfriend means you don’t actually have a boyfriend.”

“Ummm,” I replied smoothly. Was I dating Jimmy now? I hadn’t agreed to that yet, but I was sure that he would consider we had some kind of commitment. Still, I didn’t want to spoil this lunch.

“You know, Kelly, this is how I always hoped things would be. You and me, together in the same city after we graduated. I think we’ve both changed since high school, but it’s our chance to see how we work. It’s real life now. We’re not kids anymore.” He focused on my face and smiled. “I’m already feeling very good about this.”

Suddenly it occurred to me that Phil was the missing piece. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about Jimmy, but more that I felt that I couldn’t decide for some reason. Now that Phil was here, all the puzzle pieces were finally in the box.

“Was this the ring I gave you?” He took my hand in his and examined my cubic zirconia more closely. “If it was a real diamond, it would be worth a lot. But not the setting I would have chosen for you.”

“Really? Maybe a puzzle ring?”

“No, I would have gotten something more modern, a plain gold setting, with a solitaire.” Weirdly, it sounded like this was something he had thought about. “So, what else did you tell them about your wonderful fiancé?”

“Ha. Well, they could see your photo, so they knew you were tall, dark and—” I paused; I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. “Not a total beast.”

Phil laughed. “So Kelly, you want to go out for dinner tonight? And I could use a date to my parent’s big anniversary shindig on the weekend. I think you owe me big for being your fake fiancé.”

“I owe you? You didn’t have to do a thing.”

“My photo is on your desk, and my reputation is on the line. Now everyone in Vancouver thinks I’m the marrying kind of guy. From now on, my first dates will be littered with wedding magazines and china patterns. I’m doomed!”

I started giggling, yet inside I felt uneasy. Being with Phil again was so much fun. But when I saw Jimmy, he had stirred a lot of warm feelings in me. How could I be attracted to both of them at the same time? And what was I going to do?

When I returned to the office, things were back to normal. Brian came by to talk to me after his show ended.

“Uh, big oops, Kelly. So you really do have a fiancé, even if he is a cheap bastard. You should have held out for a real diamond at least. Did he tell you it was a fake?”

I found it deeply ironic that now that I was ready to tell the truth, nobody was going to believe me. Given that I was interested in dating again, it was time to be single. However, it would be too mind-boggling to explain that I was dating my ex-fiancé.

I dropped into Cheryl’s office. Her desk was perfectly clean now, and she beamed at me.

“Did you and Phil have a nice lunch?”

“Er, yes, great.”

“What an adorable couple you are.”

“Well, about that, I have to tell you—I’m not really engaged.”

She gave me a blank stare, and then her eyebrows knotted in concern. “Oh Kelly, I’m so sorry. He broke up with you? And on your lunch hour, that’s rather heartless. Did you want to take the rest of the day off?” She reached out to pat my hand.

“No, no, that’s not it at all.” I took a deep breath. “Okay, this started way back. Remember my friend, Karen? She warned me that the guys were really a pain here, and we decided that if I pretended to be engaged it would make things easier.”

Cheryl looked at me with one eye closed. “I have to admit, that’s rather clever. It did seem to work. So why are you confessing this now? Phil seemed fine with the deception—rather happy, actually.”

This was even harder to explain. “Well, I’m sick of lying about it. And now I think I’d like to start actually dating and not have to worry about running into anyone from work.”

She nodded. “I think I understand. Dating someone other than Phil.”

“Sort of. I’ll probably be dating Phil. But, um, other people too.”

Cheryl frowned at me. “You young people have more complicated lives than I ever did. But your personal life isn’t really our business. As long as you continue to do a good job here, that’ll be fine.”

Complicated? She had no idea. Unfortunately, neither did I.

“
Y
ou know
, I’ve never been a big believer in fate,” I told April. “But I think that all the craziness in the past week has occurred for a reason.”

She snorted. “And that reason is to make every other woman in Vancouver realize how much her social life sucks.”

“Oh, don’t start with me. How many dates do you have this weekend?”

April made a noise that sounded a lot like a purr. “Only two. But I’m going for dinner at Tojo’s on Friday. It’s a double treat. The best Japanese food in town, and I miss your night to cook.”

“Oh, burn. Anyway, I was complaining about how much my personal life sucked, and suddenly—bam—the two most important guys in my life are back. It’s an amazing opportunity. But how do I decide?”

“Yeah, it’s so difficult. Should you take the totally hot guy with a good future ahead of him
or
the guy with a great body and oodles of money? A quandary, for sure.”

“But the thing is—I’ve changed, and presumably they’ve changed too. So I can’t do some dumb pros and cons sheet.”

“Cage match?” April suggested.

“No, I’m going to date them both and then decide.”

“Ooooh, it’s the final round of
The Bachelorette
! I like it,” April declared. “Only one problem.”

“I know what you’re going to say,” I sighed.

“Take two insanely competitive, testosterone-charged guys and ask them to share nicely? That’s going to work.”

“No, I figure they’re both going to say no. It feels conceited to even suggest this.” I shook my head. “But honestly, I can’t make up my mind. When I see James, I’m so drawn to him. Then I’m with Phil, and I’m laughing and having fun. They’ll probably both tell me to take a hike.”

That would make my life simpler, but it would also take the decision out of my hands. Jimmy was pushing me to take charge of my own life and not go along with the tide. Of course, he didn’t realize this advice would be used against him.

April dropped her teasing tone. “I don’t think you have to worry. You always underestimate yourself. You’re very charismatic.”

“
Moi
?” No way.

“Of course. You’re fun and charming—but elusive. You’ve got so much energy and so many things on, that you’re always too busy to stop for long. People bask in your full attention and want more of it. You’re like a drug.”

I stared at her, dumbfounded. This was not how I saw myself. I had a sense of being apart, but that was because I didn’t quite fit in: a tomboy when it wasn’t cool, a jock among smarter people, a girl playing against boys.

She laughed at me. “Surely, it must have occurred to you when you became captain of your hockey team—that you were someone people would follow?”

“I know I work hard. That’s what the coach wanted to promote.”

“Think about it, Kelly. You’ll see I make sense.” She changed back into her flippant self. “How are you going to break the idea to your Romeos?”

“I thought I’d have them both over for dinner, and then when everyone is feeling mellow afterwards, I could suggest it.”

“Hmm, that’s smart. They’ll be paralyzed after eating your cooking and unable to hurt each other.”

“April! You liked my spaghetti last week.”

“Uh, yes. But didn’t it come directly from a jar?”

“No, I added hamburger. That’s something like cooking, isn’t it?”

“That pretty much describes your culinary skills, ‘something like cooking.’”

“So, you’re out on Friday? That’s when I’m planning this dinner because Jimmy’s flying in that day.” Would April’s presence make things better or worse? I was pretty sure that she had already picked sides, and I didn’t want to be influenced by her.

“Great, that gives me time to hide anything fragile. Make them take the fight outside.”

“There’s not going to be a fight,” I protested. Anyway, if there was anyone they’d want to kill, it would be me.

“
W
hat the fuck
is he doing here?”

Both of them spoke simultaneously when they saw each other, although only one of them swore. They were sitting in the living room across from each other.

“I have something I want to discuss with you two, and I thought it would be easier this way. Beer, anyone?”

There was a glaring contest going on, so I stuck beers in front of each of them, went to the kitchen and finished the salad. I was good at salads; even April would admit that. There was no conversation coming from the other room, so I figured we might as well eat.

“Did you want to come in here and help yourselves?” I called out, but my voice quavered. I needed to be more confident tonight or this whole thing wouldn’t work. Phil and Jimmy came in, and they took up all the space in the kitchen.

“You made dinner?” Phil asked, looking around the kitchen.

“Well, it’s just spaghetti. You know, from a bottle. But with hamburger.” Luckily, April was not here to insult my cooking.

“I’m sure whatever you made will be delicious,” Jimmy assured me.

“It’s like you don’t even know her,” Phil snorted. “Not that I’m surprised.”

After the world’s quietest meal, I cleared my throat. Eating my cooking didn’t seem to have made anyone happier, but on the plus side, nobody was paralyzed.

“Well, the reason that I invited you here is that it’s such a weird coincidence that you both showed up in my life in the same week….”

I faltered, but nobody else seemed to find this interesting. “Anyway, you both said you’re interested in dating again, um, I mean dating me again.” Duh, Kelly, it wasn’t like they wanted to date each other. “And you’re such great guys, that I can’t make up my mind. So, maybe the best thing would be to date—you know, casually, this summer. What do you think?”

Phil was first up. “Are you kidding me? You want to go out with me
and him
at the same time? I don’t even get why you want to get back with this asshole after the way he hurt you.”

“Excuse me? I think Kelly’s issues around commitment stem from the way you treated her,” Jimmy said.

I broke in. “You know, as much fun as it is to tear apart my psyche, can we concentrate on the dating idea? It’s kind of like the old days when people played the field before going steady.” Great, now I was quoting my dad.

“I don’t know, Kelly,” Jimmy said. “It’s pretty weird.”

For once they were in agreement. Phil nodded. “It’s emasculating.”

Jimmy frowned at me. “Why can’t you just make up your mind? Last weekend, I thought all you needed was time to get used to the idea, and then we were going to get back together.”

“Yeah, but then something better came along,” Phil said.

“Really? Well, if you’re so much better, how come Kelly didn’t just pick you?”

“If I could maybe answer this question,” I interrupted. “I really like both of you—but in different ways. I have dated other guys, and nobody even comes close to the way I feel about you two. It’s a really important decision. Jimmy, you want me to quit my job and move to Chicago, and that’s huge. Phil, I don’t know exactly what you want yet, but I have my suspicions that it’s serious too. But I’ve changed. We all have. So, I think we need to get reacquainted now. I don’t feel I can make up my mind until I have a chance to do that.”

Jimmy’s whole face was a furrowed scowl. “You know, I’ve gone to a lot of trouble to rearrange my schedule so I could spend time here and we could be together. I kinda feel like you’re changing the ground rules.”

“I know, and I totally appreciate that. If you don’t want to do this, that’s fine. I don’t want to force anyone into anything.”

“But what’s the alternative?” Jimmy asked.

“The alternative is that Kelly can go out with someone who is willing to accommodate her. Who doesn’t think he’s too frigging important to give her enough time to make a decision.” Phil crossed his arms and leaned back on the couch. I pinched the bridge of my nose. I had never had a migraine in my life, but I felt I might be getting one.

“I don’t know what the alternative is,” I replied to the original question. “I’ll have to think about that.”

“I’m happy to date you whenever and however you want,” Phil assured me. But I could tell there was a lot of fuck-you in his voice, all aimed at Jimmy.

“Well,” Jimmy hesitated. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it.”

“Why not drop out now and spare yourself some pain?” Phil suggested helpfully.

Jimmy ignored him. “Logistically, how would this work?”

“We’d go out, you know, whenever it was convenient for you guys. I know that you’re both busy and have stuff on. I’ll keep track and keep things equal.”

“Maybe we can work out a schedule ahead of time. Then you can come on trips with me too.” Jimmy liked a routine, since he had a lot on.

“Anal much?” said Phil, “Kelly and I can be spontaneous. Of course, I’m not the one asking her to change her whole life to suit mine.”

Jimmy continued to pretend Phil was not in the room. “Uh, Kelly, what about… intimacy?” Phil made a snort of derision.

“There won’t be any sex. Sex confuses me. I figure I’ve got one chance to make up my mind, and I need to be completely clearheaded about it.” I had gotten this idea from Ben. I only hoped I could be as strong as he was.

Both guys looked skeptical.

“No sex?” Phil finally asked. “You’re sure about that?”

“Yes. I already know that you’re both, um…” I started blushing furiously. “Well, that there are no issues in that area. And it’s kind of icky to have sex with two people at the same time.” I began sweating as well. “I don’t mean at the same exact time, but at the same—oh, fuck it.” I stopped talking altogether.

Phil was trying hard not to laugh at me. Jimmy had more questions though.

“No sex, but what about other stuff? Like holding hands and kissing?”

“Um.” I hadn’t thought about this. It had been ages since I’d done anything, and a little human contact would be nice. “Well, how about stuff that doesn’t lead to sex is okay. So holding hands and kissing is fine, but not making out. Nothing you wouldn’t do in front of your parents.”

There was silence for a moment, as we all contemplated relationships with no sex. I sighed.

“And how long do you think it’ll take you to decide?” Jimmy asked.

“I don’t know. I’ll try to make up my mind as fast as possible.”

“This is a dumb idea, Kelly,” Jimmy said. “You really need to think this through.”

Phil jumped in. “You know, the more time I spend with you, the more I can’t understand why she goes out with you at all. You’re such a fucking downer. So what if we both go out with Kelly? I know we’ll be having fun. If you’re too busy maximizing your precious time, why even bother?”

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Well, I’m in.” Jimmy stuck his chin out with determination.

Great. As predicted, this game was headed into testosterone-fuelled one-on-one. I really hoped we were done now. I spoke softly, almost to myself. “The best part is that tonight will be the only time all three of us will be in the same room.”

Jimmy fixed his eyes on me, like he was willing Phil to disappear. “Since I’m only in town for the weekend, I’m hoping we can spend the whole time together.”

“Get in line, bozo. Kelly’s already promised to come to a family event with me on Saturday.”

Jimmy shot me a reproachful look. “You knew I was coming to see you this weekend.”

“God, stop it, you two. We’re done here now. Thank you for agreeing to do this. I know it’s kind of selfish, but it’s important to me.”

I stood up and got ready to shoo them out. They were eyeing each other in a very unfriendly way. If I were a linesman, I would be getting between them. I tried to calm things down. “Remember, it’s not a competition—just a chance to get to know each other really well. You guys may change your minds too.”

Phil snorted at this notion. It was too awkward for any kind of physical contact, so they both left at the same time with promises to call me.

Through the door, I heard Phil say, “It is a competition you know, asshole.”

“Bring it,” Jimmy replied.