His to Keep (Beauty and the Brit) (33 page)

His desk held a computer, an expensive pen with gold accents, and a small pad of notepaper with the Blue Moon logo. She needed an envelope for privacy. She planned to use quite a few dirty words in this lust note.

Smiling, Brynn opened the shallow middle drawer. But what she saw there stole the breath from her lungs. Reaching inside, Brynn pulled out a stack of photos. All of her. Candid shots along with old school photos and her driver’s license.
What the hell?

As she shuffled through the pictures, her heart pounded so hard it hurt. Some of the pictures went back months.

Brynn felt like she’d been punched in the stomach. What was Iain doing with these? Where did he get them?

Dropping them on the desk, she began rifling through every drawer but found nothing else. There had to be something there, some clue as to why he had photos of her. She turned on his computer and tried a few different options for passwords but came up empty.

Tucking the photos back where she’d found them, Brynn stood and rubbed her shaking, clammy hands along her skirt. Schooling her features, she opened the office door and poked her head out. “Hey, Amelia, I need to check my email and my phone’s about out of juice. Can I use Iain’s computer?” The smile she wore was fake, forced. Surely Amelia could see right through her. But Ames simply smiled.

“Of course, honey.” She hopped up and hustled past Brynn to the desk. She typed in a code and patted Brynn’s shoulder on her way out. It was that easy.

Moving with slow steps, Brynn walked to the desk and fell onto the chair. She searched through his files, and it didn’t take long to find what she was looking for.

With trembling fingers, Brynn clicked on the file bearing her name and wished to God she hadn’t. Not just pictures this time—documents. Financial statements going back years, copies of her college records, her credit card bills, a detailed account of her daily activities. Brynn looked through everything again, starting with the first page and painstakingly read every dry fact of her life, from her mother’s illness to her father’s remarriage. Then there was Trevor. There was a lot of information on him—his investments, his net worth.

When Brynn got to the last page, she read the summary, dated four months before she’d met Iain. Brynn had been singled out as Trevor’s only single relative. Then it all fell into place.

Trevor. All roads led back to her brother-in-law.

All the times Iain had subtly asked about her family, her sisters, her hobbies, he had already known the answers before they ever met. He only needed money for his downtown properties. It was all part of his master plan—to get to Trevor through Brynn, the weak link, the single female. It had all been a setup from the start.

Pain lanced straight through her. Iain didn’t love her. He’d never loved her.

All the things she’d done with him, giving him control over her body. Her heart. That dickhead had made her fall in love with him. Tears burned her eyes at the humiliation. At the pain.

God, how he must have congratulated himself. She’d been so easy. Pathetic little Brynn, the jellyfish, desperate for attention. Heat barbed her cheeks and neck.

Her head pounded. Her stomach roiled. She was going to be sick. Swallowing convulsively and taking deep breaths helped keep the nausea at bay.

Brynn took a few minutes to get herself under control. She didn’t want Amelia to know anything was wrong or she’d call Iain. Brynn had to get out of here now, before she lost it.

Plastering a fake smile on her face, Brynn exited the office, trying to act normal. Huh. Normal. Her entire world had flipped upside down—nothing would ever be normal again. Swallowing the hysteria that threatened to overtake her, Brynn hustled to the door. “See you, Ames.” Her voice sounded a little squeaky, so she cleared her throat.

“Hey, are you all right, hon? You look pale.”

Brynn nodded. “No, fine, just hungry. Take care.” She didn’t make eye contact with any of the employees as she walked swiftly out the door and onto the elevator, where a wave of nausea hit her again. How Iain must have been laughing his ass off.

By the time she reached the lobby, Brynn was practically running to the exit. Stumbling out into the bright sun, she sprinted across the street to the parking garage. She numbly climbed into her car. She could hardly feel her own body, but the pain and grief inside her swelled, threatening to overwhelm her.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat in there in the heat, not moving. Hardly breathing. It was a sauna. Trickles of sweat rolled down her cheeks. Or were those tears? When she started feeling light-headed, Brynn finally fumbled with the keys and started the engine.

Holding a hand over her mouth, she breathed deeply.
He used you. He used you.
It played over in her mind like a bad song. Iain didn’t care about her. It was all bullshit.

Never confuse me with someone decent.
He’d told her he wasn’t a good person. She had thought he was being too hard on himself, but he was just being honest for once.

All those people who sought Brynn out only because they needed a favor—Iain was one of them. A user. A liar. He’d betrayed her in the most hurtful way possible, making her fall for him in order to get what he wanted. Sick, disgusting bastard.

Brynn glanced down at her wedding ring, and with a scream of rage, ripped it off and threw it at the passenger window. It made a high-pitched clink against the glass before falling out of sight.

She scrubbed her hands down her face and tried to think.
Run away, jellyfish
.
That’s what you do best.

She could. Just start driving. No destination in mind.

But she wasn’t going to do that. Not this time. Iain had been right about one thing: it was time for Brynn to stop running away from her problems.

It didn’t matter where she went anyway. She could never outrun this heartache.

Brynn went home and sat on her blue sofa, clutching a pillow, thinking about all the times Iain’d said he loved her—each one a lie. Every touch, every kiss, every hot, sexy moment. Lies.

What if Monica had been single? Would Iain have gone after her instead?
Of course he would have. She’s the sexy, adventurous one, not you.
He probably wouldn’t have given Brynn a second glance.

That penetrated and burrowed deep into Brynn’s fractured heart—past the pain, past the shock. Iain Chapman was nothing but a fucking liar. The hurt and humiliation she felt were still there, but rage was stronger now, and she welcomed it.

When her phone rang, she glanced at the screen. It was after five o’clock. She’d been sitting there for hours. “Hello, Iain,” she answered.

“Where are you, love? I came straight home, didn’t even bother to stop by the office, but you’re not here.”

“I’m at my house.” She hung up without saying anything else.

She finally roused herself, turned on the orange vintage lamps and waited. He called twice more, but she refused to answer.

Iain must have had told his driver to step on it, because he landed on her porch in twenty minutes. Brynn answered the door and stared at him through new eyes. Iain stood there, looking beautiful and masculine, wearing a concerned expression. Brynn’s dumb, traitorous heart skipped a beat.

“You sounded strange on the phone.” His gaze darted over her face. “What’s wrong, love?”

Why did she want to throw herself into his arms? He was a dickhead. Nevertheless, her body still responded to him, even though her brain knew better. Brynn needed to hold on to that feeling of misery and anger, let it protect her from making another stupid mistake.

Turning, she walked back to the living room with Iain on her heels. As he reached out and brushed her shoulder, Brynn shrugged him off. “Don’t touch me.” She quickly darted around the sofa, using it as a shield between them. She gripped the back of it until her hands ached.

Iain’s eyes grew wary. “Brynn. Darling, you’re scaring me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“You’re wrong. Everything about you is wrong and twisted.”

“What are you talking about?” His brows dipped as he took a step toward her.

“Stop!”

He froze and his expression changed. He knew. She could see it in his eyes. He knew she’d found out the truth. She could practically hear his gears turning, wondering how he could talk his way out of this one. More declarations of love? More sexy commands?
Not this time, asshole.
Brynn had finally wised up. No matter how much her body might have wanted him, she’d never let him near her again.

“Did you laugh?” she demanded.

“Wha’?”

“When you found out how easy it was going to be, when you realized what a pushover I was, did you laugh? Or did you feel sorry for me? Poor Brynn with her orgasm troubles.” Her voice cracked and she took a shuddering breath to steady herself.

“Brynn.” He shook his head almost imperceptibly and licked his lips. “It’s not like that, love.”

“Did you laugh?” she bit out.

“No.” His warm eyes met hers, and she felt her resolve starting to slip. “I’d never laugh at you, love. Never.” His voice was hoarse. She hardly noticed. It didn’t matter anyway. He could have said the sky was blue, and she wouldn’t have believed him. “I’ve wanted you from the start Brynn. From the first time I saw you in the garden.”

Brynn frowned, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“I went to that gala thing for your foundation. I saw you there, in Trevor’s garden. I wanted you then, but when I walked toward you, you ran.”

Oh God. This was more fucked up than she imagined. He’d been playing a long game all this time. “So you had me followed? You went through my financial records because you
wanted
me? You know what middle school I attended because you were attracted to me?” Each word came out louder than the last. “Bullshit, Iain. The only thing you wanted was Trevor’s money. Was fucking me a bonus or a chore? Maybe one of my sisters would have been more to your liking, but you got stuck with me.” All of her insecurities surfaced, each one tempting her to crawl back into her shell and stay there.

“Don’t you ever say that. Do you hear me?” He growled the words. “Yes, I wanted an introduction to Trevor, I won’t deny it. But I fell in love with
you
, Brynnie.”

“Don’t call me that.”

He took another step forward. And another. Brynn clung to that sofa and didn’t let go, even though she wanted to back away. She would hold her ground if it killed her. She needed to do this, to confront him and not allow herself to be intimidated. But it hurt, seeing him for what he really was. She’d have liked to live in that contented little bubble a while longer—which made her even more pathetic.

She shook her head, trying to clear it of memories—of all the times Iain had made her feel safe and loved and desired. Because none of it was real. “You planned this from the beginning. You told me so, that first day in your office. You said we’d be lovers. But I thought it was because”—her voice hitched—“because you wanted
me
.” Pain tore at her insides, shredded her heart. She blinked as tears burned the backs of her eyes.

“I went about this all wrong. I wanted you
and
I wanted to meet Trevor. I hedged my bets, getting all that info on you. I didn’t want to leave anything to chance.”

“Because you’re ruthless when it comes to business. And that’s all this was. That’s all I was—a means to a business transaction. I guess I should charge you a finder’s fee. I’ve earned it, haven’t I?”

He flinched. She’d hurt him with that one. Oh, wait. Nothing hurt him, because none of this was real.

“If I’d pursued you, asked you out, I’d have scared you silly.”

He was absolutely correct. That didn’t make him right.

He moved toward her again. Another two steps. She was within arm’s reach now. Tilting her chin, she remained rooted in place. Her gaze swept over his face. Just this morning, he’d made love to her with such tenderness.
He fucked you, jellyfish. Love didn’t have anything to do with it.
Brynn briefly closed her eyes and almost doubled over from the heartache and loss.
You can’t lose what you never had.

When she opened her eyes, Iain’s gaze bore into hers. “Brynnie. I fucked up. I admit it. I’m so sorry, love. I’ll make it up to you. Please, let’s just go home.”

“I am home, and if you want to make this right, give me a divorce and stay out of my life.”

“Wha’?” At first he looked stricken, and then his eyes hardened. “No. Uh-uh. You’re stuck with me until the end. We made vows, Brynn. That wedding may have been ridiculous, but it was binding. I’m not giving you up. Ever.”

Brynn wasn’t a violent person, but right then she wanted to hit him. She wanted to strike that fierce expression from his stupid, handsome face. Still, she was determined to retain a sliver of self-control, even though tears blurred her vision. “You’re disgusting. Any vow I made was to a man who doesn’t really exist. I don’t even know who you are. You’ve been lying to me from the start.” When she blinked, a lone drop trickled down her cheek. “Get out,” she said through clenched teeth.

Iain flexed his jaw. “You know exactly who I am. I’ve shown you parts of me no one’s seen. Not even Marc. If anyone’s a liar here, Brynn, it’s you. You promised me you wouldn’t run away when things got tough. Yet here you are.” He grabbed her left hand, his grip just this side of painful. “You said you’d never take my ring from your finger, yet it’s bare. I never lied to you.”

Brynn jerked her hand from his. “You seduced me to get your hands on Trevor’s money. You stalked me for months. You weren’t honest. That’s the same thing as lying.”

He took that final step, closing the space between them. With his chest pressed to hers, Iain scowled down at her. Heat rose off his body, bringing with it that familiar scent. God, how she hated him.

“I hired you so that I could gain an introduction to Trevor, yes, but I didn’t go through with it.”

Then something niggled at Brynn. Iain had
hired
her. That first day, Cass said she didn’t have any facilitators on hand. That’s why Brynn had to go to Blue Moon herself. But that was a setup, too. “Did Cass know?” Brynn asked. “Was she in on the game?”

“There was no game, love.”

“Did. She. Know.”

Iain took a shaky breath. “Yeah. I paid her extra to have you instruct me personally. But I never meant to hurt you. Brynn, please, listen to me.”

The pain was almost unbearable. Her heart literally ached in her chest. In a matter of minutes, her world had fallen apart. Yet even now, Brynn
wanted
to believe him. She wanted to believe every word coming out of his mouth. And that made her an idiot.

“What can I do to convince you?” There was a note in Iain’s voice she couldn’t identify. Almost mournful.

“You married me to make sure you’d have an investor. That’s all I ever was to you—a means to an end. Little Brynn Campbell, so weak and trusting. Give her an orgasm or two and she’ll follow your orders like a puppy.”

“No, it wasn’t like that. I’ve never taken your trust for granted.” Iain shook his head. “I seduced you because I ached for you. Still do. I fell in love with you because I couldn’t help meself.” His accent was stronger now, his voice deeper.

Brynn pressed a hand to her stomach. She wouldn’t soften toward him.
He used you, jellyfish. He said he loved you, and you bought it.
“You made a fool out of me. I’ll never forgive you, Iain.”

His body stiffened. “We can work this out, Brynn. Just come home with me. I love you.”

Brynn hardened herself. “Every time you say it, it makes me sick to my stomach. But I guess I should thank you for one thing—I’ll never let anyone take advantage of me again. You taught me to believe in lost causes. Now seriously, get out.”

As Iain’s posture grew more rigid, he rolled his shoulders. “I’m leaving right now. If you don’t stop me, we’re through. And you know I mean what I say.”

Brynn raised her brow and upped the ante. “Go fuck yourself.”

His eyes widened slightly. She didn’t know if it was her choice of words or the cool steel underlying them that convinced him, but after nodding once, Iain pivoted and walked out the door, closing it with a quiet click.

* * *

Iain was livid. Gutted. But he pushed the devastating pain aside and concentrated on his anger. He let it consume him and he stoked it by blaming Brynn. She had thrown him out like he was nothing. How dare she stand there and accuse him of lying when she’d broken every promise she ever made? She’d said she wouldn’t run, that she’d stick with him, no matter what.
You never deserved her, you twat. Living on borrowed time, you were.

Didn’t matter, did it? She’d agreed to marry him, to merge their lives, and now she was reneging on her promise. Iain wasn’t a saint in all this, but she’d betrayed him.

It was over. Completely, utterly over. Iain had lost the love of his life, the woman who made him see people instead of drones. Who made him laugh. Iain had rarely laughed before Brynn. She made him want to be a better man—a futile attempt on his part. Now he could go back to being himself once again. His boorish, rude, hateful self. Making everyone in his life bloody miserable.

On the drive back to his apartment, Iain replayed her words. He disgusted her, did he? Well, she’d never have to see him again. Never have to hear his declarations of love. Didn’t mean the feelings weren’t still there. Goddamn feelings. He hadn’t had many of those either until she’d shown up, with her
I
feel this and
I
believe that nonsense.

Closing his eyes against the flash of neon and wandering tourists, Iain remembered that tear falling down her cheek. Iain had made Brynnie cry. He shoved that feeling of concern down.

She had also told him to go fuck himself. She’d been hard then. Controlled. Huh, Iain had taught her well. That wasn’t the Brynn he was used to. Flashes of her smiling, sleepy and satisfied after they’d made love, flooded his mind—as did the times when she’d cushion her words, or when she wore that little apron, or when she curled up in his arms every night.

Grabbing the dice from his pocket, Iain tried to take a deep breath. It was damned difficult. His chest was constricted. If he had a heart attack and died, he hoped Brynn would feel guilty for the rest of her long, sad life.

You’re the one who made her sad.

Iain tried to drown out that voice by going over the litany of Brynn’s sins. Problem was, she didn’t have many. She felt used by him, and rightly so. Iain would have felt the same in her position.

Fuck. He couldn’t hang on to the anger. It was a mist that evaporated, leaving him with nothing—nothing but crushing, excruciating pain. What was he meant to do now? He couldn’t go back to the apartment. He’d see her clothes, smell traces of her warm vanilla scent. There was only one place he could go, really. One person who understood.

* * *

When Iain left, Brynn stood alone. She was in a daze. The silence was deafening. She couldn’t stand it another minute. She needed her sister. Allie may have driven Brynn crazy sometimes, but when the chips were down, she always had Brynn’s back.