His to Cherish (15 page)

Call me. Please. I need to know you're safe even if you're avoiding me.

I frowned, my teeth finding my bottom lip and biting down. I wasn't avoiding him. At least I hadn't been then.

But I could imagine him worried, pacing his house wondering how Shane was doing or if something had happened to me, tugging at his hair when I continued to not answer his calls.

Aidan had taken a piece of my heart the very first day he showed up to help me with the landscaping, the first night he manned my grill, and the next day when he returned to continue helping.

It might have been for escape, but something else—something deeper—was beginning even then, and I was a fool for denying or questioning it.

He had a piece of my heart, and not only did I not want him to give it back, I didn't want it anymore. It was his.

I checked the time and, seeing that it was almost midnight, I hesitated to call him, despite his recent text. It had been a long day and I wasn't sure I was ready for more drama.

But I didn't want him to worry anymore, either.

He answered on the very first ring, as if he'd been holding the phone in his hand, waiting for me. I couldn't help but smile, even though his voice was heavy when he said, “Thank Christ. I've been trying to get ahold of you all day. I was just about to call the cops.”

“I'm sorry I made you worry,” I murmured into the phone, and stretched out in my bed. “It was a tough day.”

He was silent for a beat, for too long, and I almost regretted mentioning my day with Shane.

“How is he?” he finally asked.

I picked at my sheets and closed my eyes. “Hurting. Badly.” I swallowed, uncertain how much to share. Beth's message that Shane had decided to get help was good news and gave me hope. But would Aidan think the same? How much could he handle on top of everything else?

It surprised me when his voice dropped an octave and he whispered, “How are you?”

“Hurting,” I responded without having to think, and while I might have felt like I was the one who should have been strong through all of this, I couldn't stop myself from adding, “Badly.”

He shocked me further when he said, “I'll be there in five.”

Before I could argue, before I could tell him I just wanted to be alone, he hung up.

In the time it took for Aidan to arrive, I unlocked the front door, flipped on the outside lights for him, and mindlessly wiped off my already clean kitchen countertops.

When I heard his truck pull into the driveway, my stomach tied into a knot.

Aidan walked through my front door without knocking and stood in the entryway as he closed the door behind him.

As if he sensed not only my hesitation but my unspoken need to be comforted, he spread his arms wide open. “Come here, Chelsea.”

I did. My feet moved quickly until I almost ran into him. He braced himself for the impact, though, and his arms immediately closed around me.

Warm. Strong.

I breathed him in, inhaling his scent, and allowed him to fill me with the strength I knew he had.

“I wasn't avoiding you,” I told him, thinking of the text he'd sent, and wrapped my arms around his waist. “I didn't look at my phone all day and I needed some time alone.”

His lips pressed against the top of my head and I squeezed him tighter. It was an intimate gesture, one that said he wasn't using me for avoidance or distraction this morning. One that said maybe he hadn't been for a long time, but it was my own insecurities breaking through that had left me doubting him tonight.

“Want to tell me about it?”

It. He meant Shane, and I pulled back to look into Aidan's eyes to see
how much
he wanted to know,
if
he wanted to know, or if he was only trying to be nice.

His lips twitched into one of his rare, brief smiles and my stomach flipped.

“Yeah,” I whispered. “I'd like that.”

He trailed his hands down my arms, unwrapping them from his back until he had each of my hands wrapped in his.

He tugged me toward the hallway to my room. “Let's go talk in bed.”

When we reached my bedroom, Aidan let go of my hands and began pulling off his shoes and jeans. I lost track of all thought due to the fact that this magnificently beautiful man was about to crawl into my bed and hold me in his arms.

Though my entire body warmed, I shivered from head to toe.

I bit my bottom lip, standing there dumbstruck in front of him, taking in every muscular line of his body.

His eyes crinkled with humor and his lips pressed into a smirk. He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.

“Yes.” I grinned, climbing onto my bed and tossing off my lightweight robe on the way to reveal my teal tank top and matching pajama shorts.

“Did I ask you something?” His voice was slightly amused, and hearing it made me smile wider.

“No, but you were going to ask me if I liked the view, and the answer is yes, I do.”

He shook his head, something slightly larger than a smirk spread his lips wider, and my breath caught as he climbed into bed next to me.

He adjusted the pillows behind his back and pulled me up so I was sitting up next to him, our backs propped against the headboard. His arm fell around my shoulders, pulling me to him.

“Tell me about it.”

I stalled, unsure of how to begin, when his hand squeezed my shoulder more firmly.

As if he himself was uncertain, my heart began to beat faster when Aidan said, “I love that kid, Chelsea. I know he's hurting and I know I can't be the guy that he needs me to be for him right now, but I want to know. Honest.”

“He overdosed on sleeping pills at a friend's house last night.”

He flinched and gripped me tighter. His fingers dug into my skin and caused a sting of pain. I doubted he realized how hard he was holding me, but I didn't stop him.

“I don't think he meant to do it, Aidan,” I whispered, and slid my tongue along my bottom lip. I tried to find something more profound to say, but came up empty. “I think he's scared and tired, and he doesn't want to hurt, but I don't think he wants to die.”

“How do you know?” His voice cracked and my chest clenched in pain.

“Because he told me,” I whispered after a pause.

The boy needed help and Beth's text was encouraging, so I believed he would get it. I wanted to believe that Shane would find someone he could talk to who was actually trained and professional enough to help him to rid himself of his guilt and his nightmares.

Aidan's head dipped and his temple pressed against the top of my head as he curled his arms around me, squeezing me tightly and fiercely.

I melted into him, enjoying it despite the conversation.

“Shit,” he whispered against my hair. “I didn't realize.”

I blinked back more freaking tears. “I know you didn't.” I squeezed his hand that was gripping my shoulder with my own. He let go of me long enough to entwine our fingers, his arm still draped over my shoulder. It felt anything but casual, and I relaxed as the familiar touch of his skin on mine sent that now-common spark of interest into my veins.

“I'm sorry you had to go through that today. And I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you.”

I tightened my hold on his hand. “You can still be there for Shane.”

He inhaled sharply. I squeezed my eyes closed to prepare for his rebuttal, but he surprised me.

“Yeah.” He breathed the word out quietly. “I'll think about it.”

Several moments went by while we sat in silence, wrapped in each other's arms, and the weight of the day began to evaporate along with the tenseness in my shoulders. Even in his grief, Aidan made me feel safe. His strength was amazing.

Slowly, he shifted his weight, pulling me down with him until we were lying on my bed. I was on my back and Aidan was on his side, his head propped up by his hand, elbow on the pillow.

His fingertip trailed down the tear tracks on my cheek and he leaned forward, brushing his lips against my skin.

I felt his arousal at my hip and fought the urge to turn so I could feel him press against me in a much more preferable location.

When he pulled away from me, his lips turned up. “This morning was amazing.”

“I think so, too.” My agreement earned me a larger smile, almost a full one, and it made my own match his.

“I like it when you smile.” I lifted my hand and traced his lips with my finger.

He opened his mouth and teasingly bit down on the pad of my fingertip.

“I like you,” he said. His lips fell to mine, and he kissed the shock away while heating me at the same time.

I parted my lips, accepting him as his tongue licked and rolled with my own.

I liked this man, too. A lot.

I liked how he kissed, how every time he touched me, my body leaned in, needing more. I was like that now, arching into him, my hands roaming the skin on his back as I pulled him to me and pressed into him at the same time.

He shifted, pulling me forward until I was draped over his body, my legs straddling his waist.

I pushed up, breaking the kiss, and watched as his green eyes swirled with lust and unspoken thoughts. My own body was flaring wildly with need and something deeper—something more than just
like.

With one hand on his chest, my other one raised and pushed through his jet-black locks. His hair was soft and silky and the perfect length to hold on to.

“I like you, too.”

He paused for a moment before he rolled us over and began dragging down my shorts and underwear. I lay on the bed, watching his finely tuned, hardworking muscles bunch and flex, and I couldn't help the shudder that rolled through me as he removed his boxers and his erection sprung free.

I knew what he felt like inside of me. I knew what he felt like in my hand, so hot and heavy.

I wanted to know what he tasted like.

Before I could move, to reach for him and show him what I wanted, he leaned forward, wrapping an arm around my back, and flipped us over so I was once again on top of him. My knees spread farther apart, making room for him, and his erection slid through the crease of my backside.

“Oh,” I gasped as I rocked against him.

Aidan's fingers dug into my hips and he pressed me against him, once…twice…slowly…each time watching the expression change on my face.

“You like that?”

Heat bloomed on my cheeks when the tip of him pressed against my anus. I shouldn't. It was forbidden. Something I'd never considered before.

But every time he rubbed against that spot, shivers danced down my spine and out to my hips, to my toes, and to my already hardened nipples.

“I do,” I finally admitted, unable to look him in the eye.

“Hey.” One of his hands slid to the side of my neck and his thumb grazed my jaw. “We'll explore anything you want, at whatever time you want, but tonight I want something different from you.”

“What?” I asked, skipping over the exploration part. That meant he was planning on sticking around for a while. The hope in that one statement made my heart skip a beat.

“Condom,” he said, and pointed toward his jeans he'd tossed to the floor earlier.

I pushed off him and quickly grabbed it out of the pocket of his pants and returned to the bed, throwing my knee over his hips and settling on him so I could watch him. He took the condom, eyes on me the entire time, while he began to cover the tip of his cock. I had to help him…touch him…feel him.

My hand covered his as he rolled it down.

Wetness seeped from my sex as his erection hardened in my hands. I stroked him once, then twice, teasing him like he'd done to me for so long just that morning.

I felt like it'd been days ago.

“Like this?” I asked when his hands went to his sides and he fisted the sheets beneath him. His hips rocked into me.

“Fuck yes,” he groaned, his gaze focused on where I continued to slide my hand up and down the length of him. My other hand went to my clit where I rolled the bundle of nerves. I teased us both until I elicited the same desperate sound from myself as was coming from him every time I rolled my thumb over the head of his cock.

“Aidan?”

In a druglike trance, he pulled his gaze off my hands and raised it up to me.

“Yes?”

“You said there was something else you wanted,” I reminded him.

One of his hands released from my sheets and he stilled my movements with his hand at my hip.

“Ride me.”

I swallowed, desire pooled in my stomach.

“Now.” He arched a brow, and damn it, he was so sexy. Gone were his nerves from earlier. Tonight he was completely confident. Commanding.

My body shook as he held his hardness with one hand, waiting for me to sink down and cover him.

I hovered over his erection and I began to slowly drop my body down until his dick slid inside me.

“God,” I moaned. “So good.” I couldn't help the noises that escaped my mouth as I took all of him. He was so deep, stretching me wide and filling me completely, yet my body seemed to tighten around him like a glove, needing more of him.

“Hell.” He dropped his head back and gripped my hips, preventing me from rocking against him or raising back up. “Give me a second.”

My hands dropped to his chest and I rubbed them over his pecs and his hair, loving the manly feel of him.

“Chelsea,” he groaned, and stared directly at me. “Fuck me.”

My hips shifted and I began to slowly rock back and forth, putting much-needed pressure against my clit. I alternated between rocking and lifting before dropping back down on him.

I was driving myself crazy, my hair flying everywhere as I rocked against him with frantic movements.

“Yes,” he growled, pulling me down on him. “Just like that. Hell.”

Quickly, my orgasm began to climb and I reached for it, knowing that as my body was burning like a wildfire, I was going to explode any second and it was going to be incredible.

I pressed against his chest, rising and dropping. Aidan's face contorted in pain and pleasure, and I loved that he was holding back long enough to give this to me.

“Aidan,” I whimpered, and he pulled me down toward him, one hand on my hip, the other holding the back of my head. His lips covered mine, and between the shift in friction against my clit and the way he tasted and devoured me with his tongue, I erupted in pleasurable trembles.

I came hard and fast and Aidan was right there with me. His chest stiffened, his hips thrust upward powerfully, and he groaned into my mouth.

We swallowed each other's cries as our orgasms continued to take us over the edge of ecstasy.

My house was silent when I woke up. Too silent.

There weren't any quiet snores from Aidan next to me and I knew that he had already left.

I prepared myself with a slow breath before I rolled over and opened my eyes to find my suspicions were true.

He wasn't next to me. He had already left—without telling me.

I flipped to my back and threw my arm over my eyes trying to block out the early morning sunlight along with the memories of last night.

“Crap.”

I thought I had dealt with my insecurities after Cory left. It was easy to chalk him up to being a cheating bastard, and brush off the fact that there was something in our relationship that I lacked.

Yet as I'd opened my heart to Aidan, those fears slithered in through a splinter in my defenses and grew larger every day.

I wanted to be enough for someone, and was terrified I wouldn't be.

I'd never be
enough.
Not enough of a woman, not someone who could give a man a child. A boy to carry on their name.

Not that Aidan would want that anyway, but finding out I couldn't have children had broken something inside me.

It made me feel like half a woman.

And I wondered, as I crawled out of bed and got into the shower, my attitude morose as I dwelled on what I could never be—what I could never have—how long would it take for Aidan to realize the same thing?

I moved sluggishly through my bedroom, getting dressed for work, when a quick peek at the clock told me I was running late. There was no way I'd have time to stop at Kate's Kakes for my typical hit-and-run breakfast on the way to school.