His Outback Cowgirl (Wildflower Ranch Book 4) (16 page)

“Hungry?” He placed the tray on a table that overlooked the window.

“No, but thanks.” She didn’t look at the tray. Instead her chin lifted as though harnessing some inner strength.

“Ethan ...”

“Yes.” He folded his arms. Something was wrong. Her energy levels were too high. Her eyes too over-bright. Her agitation didn’t have anything to do with her wasp sting that she earlier handled with both calm and composure.

“Ethan ... you take such care of me and are always so thoughtful and considerate. You’re such a good man.”

His eyes narrowed. There was a ‘but’ coming.

“But ...”

He stiffened. There it was.

“But ... I think you were right. We need to take ... us ... a little slower. I don’t think I’m ready ... after all.”

He nodded, forcing his expression to remain unchanging and his pain to remain buried. “We can take as much time as you need.”

Her hand speared through her hair. “The thing is I’m not sure I can do this ... at all.”

His heart fell. He moved to touch her, to soothe her anxiety but she backed away, chin still angled.

His arm slowly lowered. “Bridie, I can understand that things have moved too quickly between us, and I’m sorry I didn’t do what I should have yesterday, and not let us rush into anything.”

This time she moved. She touched his cheek. “Yesterday was perfect.” The warmth of her fingertips seeped into his skin but couldn’t warm the chill engulfing him. “This has everything to do with me and nothing to do with anything you’ve done. It feels like I’ve been waiting forever to find you and now ... now I’m worried that we won’t have forever together.”

“Nothing’s certain, my childhood taught me that, but you can’t let the ‘what ifs’ stop you from living your life.” He caught her fingers and kissed them. “I’d wait a thousand forevers to find you. I’m not going anywhere.”

She blinked and stepped into his arms. He held her close like he’d never let her go. His hand slid into her hair. “Try and sleep. Everything will seem different in the morning. We’ll talk then.”

“Y
ou slept in.”

Ethan frowned and rubbed a hand across his bare chest. Henry’s gruff voice seemed overly loud in the kitchen that didn’t usually smell of coffee until after breakfast.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. You needed to be out of bed an hour ago.”

Ethan struggled to understand through the fog of little sleep. “What do you mean?”

Henry handed him a steaming mug. He took a quick sip and spluttered at the strength. “And Bridie thinks I make strong coffee?”

“You’ll need it.”

Henry then handed him a note. Ethan came fully awake. The feminine handwriting on the folded paper had to be Bridie’s.

“What’s in this? Have you read it?”

Henry scowled. “You know I can’t read without my glasses; they’re over near my crossword book.”

Ethan prised open the note and his mouth dried.

Bridie’s message was simple but it was what it didn’t say that was ominous.

Ethan slowly lowered the note. What Bridie hadn’t said was why she’d felt the sudden need to go away alone and also that they’d talk when she’d got back. He thought they’d had the summer to slow things down and for him to tell her that he loved her. But if the concerns she felt last night remained, if she’d woken and nothing looked different, he might already be out of time. His hands shook. He could only hope that her trip didn’t signal that the woman he loved could now be beyond his reach.

“What are you waiting for?” Henry glowered. “She’s got over an hour’s head start. I don’t care if she says she feels fine, she can’t be if she’s gone up there without you.”

Ethan sighed. “I thought you said you can’t read without your glasses?”

“I can’t. But Bridie left the note over there by my glasses.” Henry turned toward the stove top. “Have a shower and I’ll cook you a hot breakfast. You’ll need it.”

Ethan didn’t move. Bridie wouldn’t appreciate him racing off after her. He was the reason she’d gone into the backcountry; he owed it to her to give her the space she needed.

He stared out the oversize kitchen window at the high country that remained draped in cloud. The sun might have risen but the sky remained a gloomy grey. The weather was closing in and storms were predicted.

Then there were the poachers. Cordell had confirmed that the man they’d seen at Bear Paw Falls was no photographer. Cordell had removed several animal traps and passed on their locations and details to the Sheriff’s department. It also had to have been a poacher who’d watched them through binoculars the afternoon they’d ridden back from the log cabin meadow.

His conscience overrode his caution. He couldn’t leave Bridie up there by herself. His emotions overrode his logic. He’d taken a huge risk going into the mountains alone with her on their first trip. Now he had to take an even bigger risk. No longer did he have time on his side to go slow, he had to do what he never did and rush in. He had to find her and tell her how he felt. If she knew he loved her perhaps she’d feel more confident that forever was within their grasp. Cordell was right. Bridie was worth taking every risk in the book for. He had to risk everything for ... love.

His hands fisted as he scanned the brooding and rugged peaks. “Henry, she could be anywhere.”

His father came and stood beside him.

“Son, trust your instincts. You of all people will know where she’ll go.”

W
arm breath blew on Bridie’s cheek and soft velvet rubbed her skin. She awoke to the smell of damp earth and Molly nuzzling her. She uncurled from her cramped position on the saddle blanket and pushed off the rain slicker she’d slept under. The cave hadn’t proved any warmer on her second visit.

She rubbed the mustang’s buckskin nose. “Morning, how long did I sleep?”

The grey light beyond the rock shelter’s entrance confirmed it was past daybreak. She stretched and Molly ambled out of the cave to graze on the nearby grass. Bridie rolled her stiff shoulders. She had no idea what time she’d slipped out of the ranch house to saddle Molly but it had been pitch dark. After her talk with Ethan, she’d tried to sleep. What he’d said would be true. In the morning things would look different. The cold fear that she’d one day lose him wouldn’t continue to eclipse her deep love and need to be with him.

But sleep had been elusive and the more she tossed and turned the more her thoughts had raced and her fear had grown. In the end, she’d thrown off the covers and dragged on her jeans. She’d needed to go somewhere that would provide solace. Except she hadn’t made it to the high elevation lake where she’d found such happiness with Ethan. Somewhere on the ride through the north meadow her lids had drifted shut and she’d fallen asleep in the saddle, only waking when Molly had brought her to the cave.

Bridie pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them. She’d wake up a little more and then continue to the lake. She was certain Ethan wouldn’t follow. He’d know she’d need time alone. Wind rustled through the pine trees beyond the cave. The weather wouldn’t be great, but she’d grabbed a rain slicker from the mudroom, knowing Henry wouldn’t mind.

She watched as Molly grazed. Once wild and free, the mustang was now content to stay close. The instincts that once had kept her safe and told her to flee from humans now told her she had nothing to fear. Bridie swallowed. Could the same happen for her? Could her flight instincts that told her not to take a risk when the odds were stacked against her be appeased? Knowing that life could change in an instant with only a phone call or a single doctor’s visit, could she find the courage to let go of her fears and love?

She rested her chin on her knees. Wind again whistled through the pine trees and carried the scent of rain into the cave. She closed her eyes but instead of pain and loss, she remembered the happiness connected with such a smell. Riding her pony with her father through an overflowing stream. Hearing the joy in his laughter as rain drummed on the roof after a summer of no rain. The ache to see him and talk to him would always be there but now so too was the beauty of her memories.

Her eyes opened. Ethan had reassured her that it was okay to let go of her grief. And it had been. If she wanted to soothe her flight instinct she needed to now do the same with her fears. She needed to let them go or lose the one man who made her feel complete, who understood and accepted her for who she was.

She came to her feet. If she and Ethan didn’t have forever, that had to be okay. She’d make the most of each day. She’d laugh, live and love and have the family and home she’d always dreamed of and she’d do so without ... fear.

She whistled to Molly.

“Time to saddle up. We’re not going to the lake ... we’ve got a cowboy to talk to.”

B
ridie hung the rain slicker in the mudroom, removed her boots and made her way into the kitchen. Heart in her throat, she looked around for Ethan but all she saw was Henry seated in his usual chair. His glasses might be on, but no pen filled his hand and the crossword book before him lay shut.

“I expected you back hours ago.”

Bridie ignored his gruff tone and slid into the seat in front of him. Henry’s heart was as tender as his strong son’s.

“Sorry. I was heading to the lake but fell asleep and Molly took me to cattle rustler’s cave. When I woke up the only place I wanted to be was ... here.”

Henry nodded, relief softening his faded blue eyes. “Well, Ethan’s not. He’s gone after you.”

She frowned. “He did. I was hoping he wouldn’t.”

“You hoped wrong. Where you’re concerned he’ll break every rule in that sensible book of his.”

She stood. “I’ll go and find him.”

Henry shook his head. “Hold your horses. You’re just like your grandmother. She always jumped headfirst into trouble. I told him that if you came back, I’d keep you here. The weather’s going to be bad up there.”

Bridie remained standing and bit the inside of her cheek. She looked through the window at the peaks now shrouded in dark cloud. “What am I going to do while I wait? I’ll go stir-crazy.”

Henry patted the puzzle book. “That’s easy. Crosswords.”

Bridie barely heard him. Her gaze remained fixed on a ridge that rose above the foothills. “Henry ... is that smoke?”

Henry swung around and then was out of his seat and rummaging through a sideboard drawer. Finding a pair of black binoculars, he held them to his eyes. His jaw tightened.

He lowered the binoculars and headed for the phone on the kitchen bench. “Grab a coffee and there’s a bacon bagel in the fridge you can eat while you drive.”

In under seven minutes Henry had called Fire and Rescue and also the Sheriff’s department. Bridie hadn’t bothered with coffee, she grabbed the bagel, her boots and Henry’s truck keys. She was no stranger to wildfires and what to do in an emergency. Her family farm had suffered two summer grassfires but there was something about Henry’s grim mouth that hinted he knew far more about the fire than he let on.