His Name Is Ron (27 page)

She had mentioned these restaurant plans of Ron's during the Barbara Walters interview almost a year earlier, but I had no idea how extensive they actually were. In an instant, I knew why he had not shown them to me.

My primary conflict with Ron was what I had perceived to be his lackadaisical attitude toward a career. After he dropped out of college, I was tough on him, and my fatherly concern deepened over the next several years.

Life was sweet, and Ron loved it. Not so sweet were the bills he accumulated. At one point, he fell hard for a young woman with expensive tastes, and the money he made waiting tables just was not enough. For a time, he took a white-collar position with a headhunting firm, but that job necessitated an expensive wardrobe. His bills continue to mount. Little by little he got in over his head.

By 1992, he was $12,000 in debt and creditors were hounding him. I took a tough-love approach and told him he'd have to handle it himself. We went to a financial counselor, consolidated his debt, and Ron made the effort to get out of the hole. It was way too deep, and ultimately Ron filed for bankruptcy.

Kim disclosed, “Ron and I had a lot of discussions about his relationship with you. You were both so stubborn. You both thought you were right—about everything. You were not the easiest guy to get along with—especially for a kid who was just trying to find his own way. You had very high expectations for both of us, but you were much tougher on Ron. I was always ‘Daddy's Angel.' I could do no wrong. That was a problem between Ron and me, so when we talked about you, I found myself siding with him, so that he wouldn't call me ‘Daddy's Angel.' But more often than not, I did agree with him. I understood his pain and frustration. Ron really wanted to prove to you that he could succeed, and didn't need to go to college to do it.”

Kim knew all about Ron's plans for the “Ankh.” However, Ron was not going to share them with me until he felt that they were professional and complete enough to impress me. My pragmatic, skeptical approach to some of his past business ideas had probably helped him make that decision. I had thought that Ron was still struggling to get his act together when, in fact, he knew what he wanted to do, was setting about doing it, and doing it beautifully. How I wished I could tell him how proud I was of what he had accomplished.

On Sunday at 10:30
A.M
. we gathered again at Pierce Brothers Valley Oaks Memorial Park in Westlake Village.

The sun was shining. Hundreds of American flags were on display for tomorrow's Memorial Day service, and a light breeze caused them to sway.

Gil Garcetti had assured everyone in the D.A.'s office that it was fine if they attended, and many of them did. Among those who joined us were Marcia Clark, Bill Hodgman, Ron Shipp, and Patty Jo Fairbanks as well as many of the law clerks. Unfortunately, Tom Lange and Phil Vannatter did not attend. They feared that the defense team would use it as an example of bias against the defendant, and they were unwilling to take that risk. Chris Darden was out of town attending a wedding.

Rabbi Johnson was the first to speak:

Ron's family has not been permitted the normal opportunity for mourning, and expressing their grief. The brutal slaying of Ron and the attendant trial and publicity have kept his family away from any form of grieving in a normal way. …

If Ron could speak to us now, he would probably be at peace with his own physical death, but he would be in pain knowing the anguish that his family continues to experience as the trial inches along. … Ron is lovingly looking down upon you this day and every day, praying for an early resolution, when some semblance of justice is finally brought upon the one guilty for these slayings. … Amen.

After the rabbi spoke, some of Ron's friends shared their remembrances. Lauren, Michael, Brian, Kim, Patti's mother, Elayne, and I spoke to Ron while the others listened quietly. Finally the granite gravestone was uncovered, bearing the heading

Loving Son, Brother and Friend
Ronald Lyle Goldman
July 2, 1968—June 12, 1994

Patti read the additional message we had inscribed:

Sometimes when we are alone and lost in thought,

and all the world seems far away,

you come to us as if in a dream,

gently taking our hands and filling our hearts

with the warmth of your presence.

And we smile, knowing that,

although we cannot be together for now,

you're always close in our thoughts.

Missing you now,

Loving you always.

Someone put a small American flag near the marker. Kim placed a bouquet of flowers on the grave, along with a note:

Ron—I hope the sunflowers bring you warmth. But nothing can ever compare to the warmth of your soul. I love you. Kim

Many people felt that the service would be a way to help us find some closure. However, Kim, in particular, had a difficult time with the concept of “closure” because, as she says, “my brother will always be gone.” The unveiling of the headstone was very painful for her. Seeing Ron's name, etched in stone, along with the dates that began and ended his life, forced a sense of permanence that she did not expect.

Kim told a reporter, “It's not a matter of feeling better. It's just more permanent.”

Although it had been a beautiful day and a lovely service, Kim found herself wishing that the trial had never been mentioned. “Ron deserved this day to himself,” she said, “just the mention of the trial brings unwanted people and intrusive thoughts into what should have been a very private time.”

When we were back home, Lauren sought the solitude of her room and wrote a letter:

Ron,

Where do I begin? The loss of you has become so new to me. It seems like only yesterday that we were talking on the phone about my eighth grade graduation, which was the last time that I
ever heard the words, “I love you” out of your mouth again.

We have shared so much together in what seemed like such a short time. I miss you so much and it is so hard for me to understand how or why someone took you away from us. …

I loved the fact that you were always here to watch out for me. Even though you were not always at home, you still took the time to call and see what was going on in my life. …

Whenever I hear a sad song on the radio, I think of you and the wonderful and promising life that you lost. I wish that I could give your life back to you, but obviously God needed you for something.

I pray that you did not suffer and that you are out of pain, because I cannot bear the thought of that. …

I know that we have not said good-bye forever because one day we will be reunited again, forever!

I love you very much and I will miss you always.

Love Always,

Squirt

NINETEEN

Assistant D.A. Brian Kelberg asked Dr. Lakshmanan Sathyavagiswaran, “If we call you Dr. Lakshmanan, you will not be offended, will you?”

With a grin, the Los Angeles County coroner replied, “No, I will not.”

The chief coroner was on the stand because the man who actually performed the autopsies on Ron and Nicole, Deputy Medical Examiner Irwin Golden, had provided inept testimony during the preliminary hearing. Dr. Lakshmanan acknowledged that Dr. Golden had made some mistakes, but insisted that they were not critical to the case.

Moving slowly toward what promised to be the most graphic evidence of the trial, Kelberg elicited basic verbal descriptions of the two victims.

Dr. Lakshmanan spent only about ninety minutes on the witness stand during this shortened Friday session. It was a prelude to next week, when the jurors—but not the courtroom audience—would be shown the autopsy photographs. Judge Ito warned the jurors, “If at any time during the presentation of this evidence you feel unusually uncomfortable or if you need to take a break, feel free to let me know.”

With the exception of the days following Ron's death, we knew that the coming week would be the most difficult of our lives.

During a hearing on Monday, Patti and Kim heard Cochran explain to Judge Ito that when the autopsy photos were displayed for the jury the next day, his client might not be able to remain in the room. He wanted the
judge to prepare an instruction to the jury in case the killer found it necessary to flee the courtroom.

The judge was unsure whether he could legally allow the defendant to waive his right to be present during the trial. The prosecution, on this rare occasion, agreed with the defense, but did not want the defendant to leave the courtroom when the jury was present. Deputy D.A. Brian Kelberg opined, “One might argue whether this is a performance by Mr. Simpson, the actor, or truly a reflection of Mr. Simpson's alleged grief for his deceased wife.”

Marcia agreed, asking Judge Ito not to “turn this into a circus sideshow for maudlin displays by the defendant.” Hearing this, the killer rolled his eyes and glared at Marcia.

They were setting the stage for some more two-bit acting for the benefit of the jury. We could just see it coming, the quivering lip and the crocodile tears. Finally Judge Ito ruled that the defendant would either have to leave the courtroom before the photos were shown or remain for the entire session. He decided to stay. Then Cochran insisted that the victims' families be put under the same restriction. We agreed, knowing full well that if we found it necessary to leave, we would do just that.

Both Brian Kelberg and Ken Lynch advised us not to come the next day. The autopsy photographs would be displayed in such a way that only the jurors could view them, but the testimony would be graphic. “You don't want to remember him that way,” they insisted. Marcia and Chris also encouraged us not to attend.

We talked about it throughout the evening, weighing the pros and cons.

“I don't know,” Kim said. “Maybe what's in my imagination is worse than the reality. Maybe I need to hear what really happened.”

We continued to vacillate. Finally, just as earlier when photographs of the murder scene were shown, we concluded that whatever trauma we experienced would pale in comparison to what Ron had endured. We decided that the most important issue was to demonstrate to the jury our support for the prosecution. We hoped that our presence would somehow personalize Ron to the jury. If we had to flee, so be it.

On Tuesday, June 6, Patti and Kim realized there was a change in the defense team's seating arrangements. Up until now, Robert Kardashian had
been seated at the back table, in front of the rail. Now he had moved up to the defense table and seemed to be in a position to block out the TV camera's view of the murderer.

Brian spent much of the day simply questioning Dr. Lakshmanan, building toward a dramatic visual conclusion. However, even the testimony, although often dry and technical, provoked vivid images. The coroner testified that Ron had bled so profusely that there was not enough blood left in his heart to take a sample.

Now came one of the most abhorrent moments of the trial. A large easel was set up so that the jury—and no one else—could view the photos. When the first one was displayed, one of the women jurors covered her mouth in horror. Another began to breathe very deeply.

As the coroner described the photos, the killer reacted. The
Los Angeles Times
reported that he “worked his jaw slowly and winced.” But that is not what Patti and Kim saw. This man whose lawyers argued that he was worried that he might have to flee the courtroom, knowing that the easel blocked him from the jury's sight, bobbed his head to a silent, up-tempo beat. His fingers tapped out a rhythm on the table in front of him. Cochran would probably claim that he was simply trying to get the mental images out of his mind, but we would disagree. Patti and Kim were there. They saw what Kardashian blocked the TV camera from showing. This man was dancing!

On the other side of the room the jurors were reacting quite differently. Many of them cried.

Standing a few feet away from the jury and using a pointer to indicate details of the photos, Dr. Lakshmanan traced a gash from the left side of Nicole's throat to just below her right ear. He noted that there were no marginal wounds around this cut, indicating that she did not resist, and that she may have already been unconscious when the lethal blow was delivered.