His Love Endures Forever (9 page)

“I’ll see Sarah on Sunday,” he mumbled.

“You don’t sound too excited about that.” Jacob walked around the counter toward the door. Levi followed him out, then stepped aside while Jacob locked up.

“It’s not that. I’m just tired.” Levi and Jacob walked to the barn where Jacob’s horse had been stabled for the day, the cold wind slapping them in the face.

“Sarah said she ran into Danielle at the pharmacy in town,” Jacob said as he led his horse out of the barn.

Levi’s heart jumped at the mention of Danielle, which it
didn’t used to do. “
Ya
, they know each other from worship service, I guess.”

They were quiet as Jacob attached the harnesses and readied the buggy. Then Jacob stepped into his buggy, closed the door, and leaned out the window. “It wonders me if they
like
each other.”

“Why would you say that?” Levi stuffed his hands in the pockets of his black coat, rocking back and forth on his heels to try to stay warm.

Jacob shrugged, then clicked his tongue to set the horse in motion. “
Ach
, never mind. Women are odd ducks. Now, I gotta go and get home to mine.” He grinned, then hollered as he pulled away, “Tell
Mamm
I sure could use one of her lemon pies. You know, Beth Ann don’t like lemons so I never get one.”

“I’ll tell her.” Levi turned toward the house, wondering if Jacob was holding something back.

F
RIDAY MORNING
, D
ANIELLE
hurled until her ribs hurt. It had been like that the past two mornings. And afternoons. And nights. If this was what pregnancy was like, she was going to hate it.

She was still hugging the toilet in the upstairs bathroom when Martha banged on the door. “Danielle, are you okay in there?”

She still hadn’t gotten up the courage to tell Martha or Arnold, but they were going to figure it out if she kept getting sick. She’d even left work yesterday halfway through her shift. “I’m okay.”

“Still sick to your stomach? Want me to make you some soup? Or is there anything I can get for you?”

For all their joking around with each other, and Martha’s peculiar ways, Danielle knew how lucky she was to have the woman in her life. “Yeah, still kinda sick, but I’ll be out in a minute.”

“All right. But you let me know if you need something. Opening a can of soup doesn’t require any real cooking, so don’t be afraid.” She chuckled, and Danielle heard footsteps descending the stairs.

She finally pulled herself off the floor, splashed water on her face, and blotted herself dry. Staring in the mirror, she touched her stomach. It was hard to believe that something so incredibly tiny was already causing this much havoc, just two months into her pregnancy, according to her calculations. She pulled her hair from what was left of her ponytail, ran a comb through it, then pulled it back again. After brushing her teeth, she left the bathroom and headed back to her room.

As she dressed for work, she thought about Matthew. And Levi. When she thought about Matthew, tears threatened to spill. But thinking about Levi brought a smile to her face. She still couldn’t believe he’d asked her to marry him. Even if he had proposed out of some weird obligation to answer God’s “call.”
Maybe that’s how God works. You have to give up some thing
you love as a sacrifice to Him. Then He will give you a
good life
.

As she tied her tennis shoes, she tried to recall any sacrifices she’d made in her life. The only thing she could think of was that she hadn’t hit her mother back after all the times
she’d struck her. Danielle had sure wanted to. But she’d just taken it, knowing Mom would feel bad later.
I wonder what
Mom’s doing right now . . . Does she miss me?

But was not hitting her mother back really the kind of sacrifice God was looking for? She tried to think of anything she’d given up for the good of another person, anything similar to the sacrifice Levi had been willing to make. When nothing came to mind, she decided she should ask Levi. He’d know if God required sacrifices to be in His good graces.

What exactly did God want from her? She realized that even though she’d tried to stop thinking about a God she wasn’t sure existed, thoughts of Him had been more prevalent in her mind lately. She touched her stomach and wondered if the baby she carried was the reason.

Maybe today she’d tell Sue she was pregnant. She’d been wanting to, but the restaurant had been super busy, and then she’d left early yesterday. She dreaded it, really, and practiced how she’d say it in her mind.
Yeah, remember how I told you
that me and Matthew were so in love? Well, yeah, so . . . uh, we
made a baby. And then he got so freaked out he ran away
.

Danielle sighed. No matter how many times she tried to come up with the right way to say it, it only ended up sounding totally embarrassing.

A
FTER A LONG
day and two trips to the bathroom to vomit, Danielle was thankful her shift was over. It was hard to keep her mind off a queasy stomach when she was delivering heaping plates of food—or worse, the dried remains—all day at a restaurant.

“Hey, let’s talk,” she told Sue when they gathered up their purses in the back. “Here, or we can go somewhere else.”

Sue pushed her black-framed glasses up on her nose and frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Danielle shrugged as they made their way into the main dining room. “Just thought we’d catch up.”

“I can’t today. My mom’s car broke down, and I told her I’d hurry home from work so she could use mine.”

“I’ll make it quick. There’s something I gotta tell you.” Danielle waited until they’d left the building before she said anything more.
Keep it simple,
she told herself.
Just tell her
. “Sue, I’m pregnant.”

Sue stopped, her eyes grew wide, and with chattering teeth she said, “I’ll text my mom and tell her I’ll be a little late.”

Silently, they walked to the coffee shop down the street. Sue wrapped her arm through hers, seemingly trying to figure out what to say. “So, what did Matthew say when you told him?” Sue asked when they reached the door.

“I’ll tell you everything when we get inside. It’s chilly out here.”

And then she did. All of it, from beginning to end. Only leaving out Levi and his crazy proposal.

“That’s terrible, Danielle.” Sue covered her face with her hands, rubbed her eyes for a moment, then looked back at her. “What are you going to do?”

“Raise the baby on my own. What else can I do?” She shoved aside another thought about Levi.

Sue looked down, circling the rim of her coffee cup. “Well . . . there are options.”

Danielle stiffened. “Like what?”

“Adoption . . . or abortion.” Sue looked her in the eye.

“I’m not giving my baby away.” Danielle swallowed back the lump in her throat. “And I’m certainly not killing him or her.”

“Okay . . .” Sue bit her lip for a few moments. “But take it from me, Miss In Vitro herself, it’s hard not having a father. While it worked out great for my mom—a baby and no messy marriage stuff—I always felt cheated. I
missed
having a dad. Don’t you think . . . Danielle, don’t you think it’s a bit selfish not to even
consider
adoption?”

Danielle blinked back tears.

Sue reached over and touched her hand. “I’m not trying to upset you, but I want you to think carefully about what you’re doing. This will change your whole life. As well as your baby’s.” She eased her hand back and took a sip of her mocha. “What did Martha and Arnold say?”

“I haven’t told them.”

“Well, Martha’s loaded, so money won’t be an issue.” Sue shook her head. “My mom would kill me if I got pregnant. How ironic is that? But there’s no way we could afford it. I’m already helping out with the household expenses.” She narrowed her eyebrows. “Why didn’t you use birth control?”

Danielle rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know. We were just in the moment, and . . .”

“Just one time?”

“Yeah. Can you believe it?” Danielle took a sip from her mug but quickly put it down. Something about the smell and the taste was making her nauseous. She was still thinking about Sue’s comment about being selfish, but Danielle knew in her heart that she could never give up her baby
for adoption. And she couldn’t even think about any other options. She wanted to succeed where she felt like her own mother had failed, to love a child with all her heart. She dabbed at her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Danielle.” Sue took a deep breath. “This is about you, not me. I’ve just been so angry at my mom. When I was little, I kept waiting for her to marry someone so I could say I had a father. But instead, the guys came in and out of the house like there was a revolving door.” She held up a palm toward Danielle. “And I’m not saying you’d do that. I’m just saying that I always wished I had a father.”

“Well, I can’t force Matthew to be with me.” She paused, wondering if she should go on. “But Levi asked me to marry him.”

“What?”
Sue sat straight up and blinked her eyes a few times. “I thought you guys were just good friends.” Shock gave way to a smile. “He sure is hot, though. What did you say?”

“I said no, of course. He’s my best friend. We’re not like that.”

Sue shook her head. “What is it about you and Amish guys?”

Danielle shrugged, hearing the same question from Arnold again. “I don’t know.”

“Well, I wouldn’t let that Levi Detweiler get away, Amish or not.” Sue laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“I’m trying to picture you in all that Amish garb.”

Danielle thought for a few moments, then smiled. “I don’t see it either. But I couldn’t be Amish anyway. They’re super religious. And I’m not. He’d have to leave the community, and that just wouldn’t be right.”

Sue leaned back in her chair and circled the rim of her mug with her finger. “Why did Levi ask you to marry him when he’s dating that Sarah girl? Does he know you’re pregnant?”

Danielle cringed at the sound of that. “Yes, he knows. That’s why he asked. To make an honorable woman out of me, I guess.”

Sue tapped a finger to her chin. “How far along are you?”

“I know where you’re going with this. I’m not going to marry Levi and have everyone think the baby is his. He’d be humiliated by his family and Amish friends. I’m not doing that.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes. Of course,” Danielle said easily. “But not the way I loved Matthew. It’s different with Levi. I can tell him anything. We’re playful with each other. He’s honest, kind, a hard worker, and I just . . . love him for the person he is. We’re
friends
.”

“Oh, I see.” Sue’s sarcastic tone was evident. “But Matthew runs off and leaves his parents a note, doesn’t say a word to you, and leaves you alone and pregnant. That’s the kind of person you
love
-love? Wait! Don’t answer.” Sue held up a finger. “If Matthew and Levi were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, who would it be?”

She paused, thinking of them both struggling in the water, and her reaching for one . . . “That’s a dumb question, and I’m not answering it.”

Sue leaned back, arms crossed in self-satisfaction. “If you were that in love with Matthew, then you would have picked him right away. But you didn’t.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

But even as she said it, Danielle knew that it meant everything.

Because as soon as Sue posed the question, Danielle knew who she’d save.

Levi
.

  
Six

D
ANIELLE HURRIED DOWN THE STAIRS SUNDAY
morning, hoping she wasn’t too late. “Wait! I’m going with you.”

Martha was crossing the den toward the front door when Danielle hit the bottom stair and moved toward her. Martha turned around.

“Well, well. It’s been weeks since you’ve gone to church with me.”

Danielle stopped abruptly and grabbed her chest. “
What
did you do to your hair?”

Martha put a hand on the back of her hair underneath the butterfly clip and gave a little push. “I know. It didn’t exactly turn out the color I was hoping for.”

Danielle covered her mouth with her hand for a moment, then eyed Martha’s new dye job some more. “It’s purple.”