His Love Endures Forever (11 page)

She waited for his answer.

L
EVI SWALLOWED HARD
. He’d thought he’d done what God asked and that he was free of what had become a burden, but as Danielle stared at him through teary eyes, he knew he was going to make it his mission to be the best husband and father that he could. But at the same time, his heart hurt, knowing he would be leaving the Amish faith.

“
Ya
, Danielle. I do want to marry you, and I’ll raise the
boppli
as my own.” He didn’t move as he waited for her reaction. She just stared at him. “What’s wrong?”

She swiped at her eyes. “Nothing. I’m just . . .” She started to cry as she mumbled. “I’ll be Amish if you want me to.”

Levi struggled to keep his own emotions intact. “Danielle, we’ll make this work.” He lifted her chin and stared into her eyes. Even though he wanted what she offered, more than anything in his life, a still, small voice in Levi’s head said that Danielle wasn’t ready for that. He just shook his head. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“Could you even be happy, living outside of your community?” Danielle sniffled.

Levi thought about the house down the street from his parents. “I know of a place not far from my folks’
haus
that’s for sale. Even though we wouldn’t be Amish, we’d still be in the area. It needs a lot of work, but maybe together we could make it into something special for our family.”

“I don’t have much money saved, Levi. You should probably know that.” Danielle sighed.

“I’ve been saving money. I have enough for a down payment, and we’d just do like so many other young people here. We’ll get a mortgage.” Levi’s heart was racing, but there were a couple of things he had to know. “Danielle . . .”

“Yeah?”

“Do you love me?” His heart beat faster.

“I think I’ve always loved you.” She smiled.

“I know that. But do you think you can love me the way a
fraa
should love her husband?”

She was quiet for a few moments. “Haven’t you heard that couples who are best friends first always have the best shot at having a successful marriage?”

That was not the answer Levi was looking for, but how could he fault her for her honesty? He felt exactly the same way, and would pray that their love and friendship would grow into a relationship of increasing depth, a true marriage blessed by God. But there was one other thing he needed from Danielle.

“I need you to try to have a relationship with God. It’s important to me.”

Danielle sighed again. “I
am
trying. I went to church today, didn’t I?”

Levi smiled, knowing he had his work cut out for him. “Then let’s get married.”

And this time, Levi initiated the kiss. He tried to push all the worries to the background. Awkward feelings were interspersed with peace and hope . . . a concrete knowledge that he was doing the right thing, doing what God was calling him to do.

He pulled back and cradled her cheek in his hand.

Please, Lord, tell me this is right . . .

  
Seven

V
ERA
D
ETWEILER KNEW THAT THE RAGE SHE FELT
was not something God approved of, but it was there just the same. Levi had lost his mind, and it was her job as his mother to talk him out of ruining his life.

“Calm down, Vera,” her husband said when her voice grew louder.

“I will not calm down, Elam!” She pointed a finger at Levi. “This is
narrisch
, and our
sohn
is
ab im kopp
.” She swallowed back tears. “You will ruin your life by marrying Danielle and leaving our community.”

“It’s my life to ruin,” Levi said with enough sarcasm to make Vera want to take him over her knee like she’d done when he was a small boy. He walked closer to her. “I feel called to marry her,
Mamm
. I told you that. Maybe the Lord is using to me to help Danielle to have a relationship with Him.”

Vera threw her hands up and glared at Elam. “Can’t you talk some sense into our boy?”

Elam shook his head. “Vera, this news is displeasing to me
too, but Levi is a grown man. A man who has not been baptized. He has to be the one to make this choice.”

Vera had never felt more alone, or more disappointed in Elam. Her worst fear was coming true, and this was all her husband had to say? One of their children was leaving them to live amongst the
Englisch
. Vera had known Danielle was trouble the minute she’d laid eyes on the girl. She covered her face with her hands and cried.

“
Mamm
, please don’t cry.” Levi neared her.

“Levi, why the rush?” she asked as she lowered her hands. “If you really think this is what you want, then why don’t you become engaged and wait a few months? You might change your mind, and at least you won’t already be married to that girl.”

“That girl is going to be
mei fraa
,
Mamm
. And I’m going to buy the property down the road, the farmhouse on the ten acres. We will be nearby.”

Vera tensed. “You will not be nearby in spirit.” Losing the battle, she held on to one last hope. “Why not have Danielle study the
Ordnung
? Lillian did that before she converted and married Samuel. Maybe after a year or two, Danielle would be ready to be baptized into our faith.” She touched Levi on the arm. “Have you considered this,
sohn
?”

Levi shifted his weight from one foot to the other, scratched his forehead, and was about to speak when Vera spoke first.

“Please tell me the girl believes in God. Please tell me she is a Christian. I see her at worship service, but not very often lately. Martha has shared with me that Danielle has a long way to go with her relationship with the Lord. Has she crossed that
distance?” She cupped her son’s face. “She does believe in our Lord, doesn’t she?”

“Yes,
Mamm
.”

It was a small consolation, but it was better than hearing that Danielle had no faith at all. She closed her eyes and tried to picture Danielle as her daughter-in-law, but the image wouldn’t come. Had Levi not paid attention when Vera and Elam advised all the
kinner
to avoid being unequally yoked? This was an example of what could happen. She wondered how Martha felt about this news. Vera and Martha had grown fairly close over the past couple of years. At one point, Vera had even thought Martha might convert to their faith. Martha knew much about the
Ordnung
, was loved by those in their community, and everyone overlooked her peculiar ways.

But if one thing had ever threatened Vera’s relationship with Martha, it had been the initial attraction between Danielle and Levi. It had worried her from the beginning. She’d thought that when Danielle starting seeing an Amish boy in another community that the girl would become another Amish family’s problem.

“What about poor Sarah?” Vera finally asked. “I thought you might have feelings for her.”

“
Mamm
, even if I wasn’t marrying Danielle, I don’t think I would have married Sarah.”

Vera brought a hand to her chest. “You don’t
think
? How do you know? Sarah is much more suited to you.” She shook her head. “This is a
baremlich
situation.”

“
Mamm
, even though Danielle is going to be
mei fraa
, I will still love the Lord no matter where I am. I will still practice the ways of the
Ordnung
, and—”

“No, Levi. You won’t.” Vera started to cry again, and finally Elam spoke up.

“Your
mudder
is right about that, Levi.” Elam had been standing near the fireplace, but he walked to the middle of the room toward Levi. “You will be living outside of our boundaries and not following the
Ordnung
. You’ll be using electricity, listening to music, watching television, and probably even driving a car. Even if you continue to worship with us like some of our
Englisch
friends, things will still change. We can’t stop you from marrying Danielle, but don’t fool yourself into thinking that you will still be living our ways. You will not.”

“It doesn’t mean my relationship with God is changing.” Levi stared at the floor, and Vera’s heart hurt for her son. Of all her
kinner
, she would have never expected that Levi would be the one to leave the faith. He’d always talked about raising his family based on the
Ordnung
. What could possibly have changed? This had to be hard for him. And Danielle had surely pushed Levi into this ridiculous marriage.

“I just don’t understand,” Vera said softly. “I thought you always wanted to raise your
kinner
Amish, to instill in them the values and beliefs your
daed
and I taught you.”

“I did,
Mamm
.” Levi turned away from both his parents, pulled out his inhaler, and breathed in quickly. Then he turned back around. “I know you don’t understand, but as I said, I feel that God is calling me to marry Danielle. How can I ignore this?”

Vera sighed. “
Sohn
, if it is a true calling, should it hurt so much?”

“God doesn’t always ask us to do things that don’t cause pain, and we can never know His plan. You and
Daed
taught us this.”

Vera took a deep breath as her husband gave a slight nod. “I have to go check on Betsy.” She dabbed at her eyes and shook her head. “I can’t talk about this anymore.”

She turned and headed upstairs. First thing tomorrow, she would go talk to Martha. She needed to know if Martha was happy about this or if she had an ally.

L
EVI WAITED UNTIL
his mother was upstairs before he spoke to his father. “
Daed
, how do I know if I’m making a mistake?” He lowered himself onto the couch and leaned his head back. His father sat down beside him.

“Your
mudder
was so worked up, I didn’t want to say much. But, Levi, this is a serious matter. You are walking away from a life that we believe in, one we don’t think the
Englisch
understand.” He paused, shaking his head. “Things have changed so much since I was a boy. Back then, outsiders would have never been allowed to be so involved in our lives, and they surely wouldn’t have attended our worship services unless for a special occasion. I’m not saying that Martha and Danielle aren’t
gut
people. I’m saying they aren’t like us. This is the danger that comes from mingling with those outside of our own kind. There is a reason that the
Ordnung
says to avoid those who are unequally yoked. Your situation is an example of this. We’ve brought this heartache upon ourselves.”

“
Daed
, I’ll still pray, still love God, and live by what I’ve been taught. Does everything have to change?” Levi swallowed back a lump in his throat.

His father thought for a few moments. “Everything won’t change. But much will. It’s unavoidable when you enter into
a life in the
Englisch
world. And—I must say,
sohn
. . . I, too, am having a
hatt
time understanding why you’re doing this. I thought you and Danielle were just
gut
friends. When did this become a romance?”

Levi longed to tell his father the entire truth.
Daed
was a wise man, but instead he just said, “Not long ago.”

“Then give it some time. Make sure that it blossoms into the kind of real love that lasts a lifetime.”

Levi was quiet for a few moments, wishing he had that luxury. He and Danielle hadn’t decided when to tell everyone that she was pregnant, and he didn’t want to say anything until after they’d discussed it. “God is calling me to marry Danielle,
Daed
. I know it.”

His father ran a hand through his gray beard. “Just be sure. Marriage is a lifelong commitment.”

D
ANIELLE WAITED UNTIL
after supper on Friday night before she finally told Martha and Arnold that she was pregnant. It had been almost two weeks since she’d found out. Through her tears, she also told them how Matthew had run out on his parents—and her. She hadn’t seen Levi all week, but he’d left a note in her mailbox that he’d be by tomorrow. Unlike a lot of people in the Amish community, Levi chose not to have a cell phone. He said that the bishop allowed it, but only if it was used for work. Danielle knew that lots of Amish bent that rule, but not Levi. She hoped he hadn’t changed his mind.

Martha rubbed her upper lip with her finger as she sat in her recliner listening to Danielle’s news. Danielle hoped Martha wouldn’t mention options, the way Sue had. In Danielle’s mind,
there were no other choices. But Martha’s face was somber, and for once, the woman seemed to be at a loss for words. Danielle glanced at Arnold, hoping he’d be able to calm Martha down when she blew. Arnold’s expression was similar to Martha’s. Danielle held her breath and waited.