Chapter Thirteen
Tucker grabbed Micah’s hand. “Can I talk to you?” As an afterthought he added, “Please?” He’d really messed up and if he didn’t tread carefully, Micah might not hear him out. Tucker didn’t want to take that chance. As it was his heart was still in his throat from Micah walking out on him. Tucker had never thought Micah would really leave.
Micah glanced back at Juan then nodded, letting Tucker lead him.
Relief washed through Tucker. At least Micah was willing to listen. Tucker hadn’t been so sure, the way he’d stormed out. Meeting Juan’s gaze over Micah’s shoulder, Tucker bobbed his head. “Night, Juan.”
Grinning, Juan winked. “Night, boys.”
As Tucker opened the door, Micah pulled them to a halt. “
Tio
?”
“Yeah?” Juan flicked the ashes off his cigarette.
Holding the door open, Tucker squeezed Micah’s hand, not wanting him to pull away.
Micah’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “Thank you. And if you need someone to talk to…”
“Go,
mijo
. And remember what I said.” Juan glanced at Tucker then back to Micah. “Talk things out. There are worse things. You have each other, all the rest is trivial.”
Nodding, Micah acknowledged his uncle’s words. “Night,
Tio
.”
Shutting the door behind them, Tucker asked, “What was that about?”
Letting go of Tucker’s hand, Micah stopped at the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. He shrugged. “Are you really staying?”
“Do you want me to stay?” A flutter of unease trickled up Tucker’s spine when Micah didn’t answer right away. Had he ruined things between them?
Micah stopped with the bottle halfway to his mouth. “Can you stop trying to protect me?”
Sighing, Tucker leaned against the counter next to Micah. “I’ll try.” It wasn’t going to be easy. He had protected Micah since they’d first met. Tucker had left Micah and The Bar D to protect Micah.
Nodding slowly, Micah took a drink, then put the cap back on the bottle and set it on the counter. “I guess that’s all I can ask for.” He didn’t look at Tucker, just kept his gaze on the floor. Unsure. He was unsure.
Tucker’s chest swelled with hope. Micah cared. He wouldn’t be so unsure if he didn’t. Lifting Micah’s chin, Tucker stared into his brown eyes. “I can’t promise I won’t try to take care of you. It’s what I do. I’ve watched over you since you were a kid. It’s habit. But I can promise you it’s done out of love.”
“Are you telling me you love me?” Micah’s eyes were watery and wide.
“Yeah. I love you. Have for as long as I can remember. I never should’ve left The Bar D, but I was so afraid I wasn’t being fair to you. You were so damn young. I never should have—”
Micah grabbed Tucker’s head and yanked it down to him. He crushed his mouth over Tucker’s in a punishing kiss. Micah’s tongue plunged into Tucker’s mouth and his fingers gripped Tucker’s head, tugging Tucker’s hair, giving Tucker no choice but to submit. It was uncomfortable, but exhilarating at the same time. This was Micah. His Micah…his husband.
Winding his arms around Micah’s waist, Tucker hugged him closer, reveling in the feel of his lean, hard body. He didn’t try to take over, just enjoyed what Micah gave and tried to give back the best he could, running his hands up and down Micah’s slim back.
Finally, the brutal assault gentled into a loving, tender kiss. Micah released the death grip on Tucker’s head and slipped down to wrap around Tucker’s neck and rest on his shoulders. Tilting his head to the side, Micah made a breathy little sound and pulled back. He pressed his lips to Tucker’s again before retreating and opening his eyes. He looked…blissful…happy. Micah looked happy.
Tucker traced his thumb over Micah’s lower lip and gave him a quick kiss. “I thought you were going to leave me.”
Micah took a deep breath and hugged Tucker tighter, resting his head on Tucker’s shoulder. “I was.”
“What stopped you?” Rubbing his hand up and down Micah’s back, he marveled that this man was really his. He’d loved Micah for so long. None of the men he’d dated had ever compared.
“You have my truck at your townhouse.”
Tucker froze. “What?”
“I didn’t have a car.”
Tucker leaned back, a smirk on his lips. “You’re absolute hell on my ego.”
“Good, your ego could use some deflating.” Micah grinned then buried his head on Tucker’s shoulder again. “I’d have come back. Does that help?”
Laughing, Tucker shook his head. This was what a relationship was all about. Not only were they lovers but friends. This connection between them was what Tucker could never get over, what he was so afraid of ruining with taking Micah as a lover. Yet resisting Micah had been futile, then and now. Tucker kissed the top of Micah’s head and ran his fingers through his hair. “You’re wrong, you know.”
Micah snuggled in, hugging Tucker tighter. “About?”
“You being a convenient husband. The will was a convenient excuse to finally claim you, but you’ve always been the goal, not keeping the ranch. I just didn’t want to admit it at first, even to myself.”
Micah’s jaw dropped open and he cocked his head to the side, a look of utter confusion on his handsome face. “Re—Really?”
Grinning ear to ear, Tucker tugged him close again and wrapped Micah in his arms where he belonged. “Really. Besides, loving you has never been convenient.”
Epilogue
A year later
Leaning over and resting his forearm on his saddle horn, Micah tried not to laugh. He was happy to see
Tio
so happy, but…
Micah shook his head and smiled. If
Tio
rode any closer to Devon, one of their new ranch hands, he was going to mash their legs together between the horses. When was the last time Micah had seen his uncle so captivated and spending all his free time with someone? Not since Ferguson was alive. It did Micah’s heart good to see his
tio
with Devon. And Devon seemed to like
Tio
’s company. Fishing in the stock tank after chores had become a habit of theirs since a week after Devon started working at The Bar D.
“What’s so funny?” Tucker reined in beside him.
Micah was so caught up in his mirth he hadn’t even realized he had company.
Tucker sat on Dandelion, wearing a pair of cargo shorts, T-shirt, flip-flops and sunglasses, with no saddle. He obviously wasn’t going far. When Micah had last seen him, Tucker had been poring over the accounts in the office.
“What’re you doing out here?”
“I came to find you.” Tucker looked past Micah and cocked his head to the side, a grin on his face. “What is Juan? Eighty?”
“He’s only sixty-nine.” Micah looked back to where his uncle rode close to Devon. “Devon’s at least, what? Forty-five?”
“Thirty-eight. I checked his application.”
“Oh, well that’s not too bad, then. Was his sexual orientation on that application, by any chance?”
Tucker chuckled. “Nope, but if he hasn’t decked Juan yet, I’m guessing he’s gay. Either that or he really likes working on The Bar D.”
Micah laughed.
“Is ‘going fishing’ code for something else?” Tucker mused.
“I’ve no idea, but I love to see Juan happy. Losing Ferguson was hard on him. Now if we can just find a woman for your dad.”
“Good luck with that. My mom put him off relationships. But that isn’t why I came out here.” Tucker dug into the pocket of his khaki shorts and pulled out something. Holding it fisted in his hand, he extended it toward Micah.
“What’s that?” Micah frowned.
“The reason I came out here.” Tucker shook his fist. “Hold your hand out.”
What was Tucker up to? Micah held his hand open, palm up.
Tucker dropped a gold ring into his hand.
“What’s this?”
“A wedding ring.”
Warmth spread through Micah’s body and his chest tightened. His life was good. His family was safe and happy. Ferguson had his wish and they hadn’t had to contest the will to get the ranch, nor had Duncan contested it. They’d even buried the hatchet enough to loan Duncan money to invest. He’d already paid them back and even called occasionally to talk to Jeff. They still didn’t get along, but Duncan was trying. AJ kept claiming that Duncan regretted his actions and missed his family. Micah agreed but he stayed out of it. Duncan had stopped calling Micah names, but they weren’t friendly by any stretch of the imagination. Micah didn’t care, it wasn’t up to him. If Jeff wanted to forgive Duncan, he would. It didn’t affect Micah one way or another. He had everything he needed, everything he’d always wanted.
Leaning forward, Tucker wrapped a hand around Micah’s neck and pulled him closer. Tucker pressed his mouth to Micah’s in a quick kiss before releasing him. “Read the inscription.”
It took Micah several seconds to pull his attention away from Tucker’s mouth. “Huh?”
“Read the inside of the ring.”
“Did you get you one too?”
“Yup.” Tucker held up his left hand, showing off the gold band on his finger. “Now read it.”
Holding the ring up to the fading sunlight, Micah read the engraved message.
To my convenient husband, love Tucker.
Pure joy made Micah throw his head back and laugh. Yes, he definitely had everything he’d always wanted.
About the Author
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Without Reservations
With Love
With Caution
My Fair Captain
The Englor Affair
His Convenient Husband
Choose your weapons.
ePistols at Dawn
© 2009 Z.A. Maxfield
Jae-sun Fields is pissed. Someone has taken the seminal coming-out, coming-of-age novel Doorways and satirized it. He’s determined to use his Internet skills and his job as a tabloid reporter to out the author as the fraud and no-talent hack he’s sure she is.
Kelly Kendall likes his anonymity and, except for his houseboy, factotum and all-around slut, Will, he craves solitude. There’s also that crippling case of OCD that makes it virtually impossible for him to leave the house. He’s hidden his authorship of Doorways behind layers of secrets and several years’ worth of lies—until he loses a bet.
Satirizing his own work, as far as he can see, is his own damned prerogative. Except now he has an online stalker, one who always seems several steps ahead of him in their online duel for information.
A chance meeting reveals more than hidden identities—it exposes a mutual magnetic attraction that can’t be denied. And pushes the stakes that much higher, into a zone that could get way too personal…
Warning: This book contains large Korean men; Will, the houseboy, factotum, and all-around slut; hot sexy manlove including oral sex, and serious ass play. (Jae’s note to self: OCD + socks + mouth = BAD.)
Enjoy the following excerpt for
ePistols at Dawn:
Kelly stood looking at the clock tower. Jae broke the silence. “Originally, I thought maybe we could go to the observatory.”
“Oh, that would be—”
“We don’t have to.” Jae took his hand. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to, I don’t know, gird your loins to come and see me. I don’t want you to dread coming up here.”
Kelly quirked a small smile that was genuine and dazzling and then whispered, “I think it far more likely I’m going to dread going home.”
“Yeah?” Jae used his remote, but instead of entering the car Kelly leaned against the door and smiled up at him in invitation.
“You make me feel like a doll,” Kelly said on a breath, his eyes on Jae’s. For all Jae had been thinking about Kelly’s eyes, he found things in them he hadn’t noticed before, tiny gold and orange flecks inside the hazel irises and coal-colored rings around them. Long, dusky eyelashes caused smudgy shadows when they swept down, either to blink or to hide his thoughts. Kelly lowered them right then and a delicate flush stained his cheeks.
“Do I stand too close?” Jae asked. “Loom too much?”
“No.” Kelly swallowed, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. The first pleasant rush of arousal flooded Jae’s body. For once he didn’t want to act on it immediately. He didn’t want to shatter the delicacy of the moment.
“I can think of someplace to go. Someplace quiet.”
Kelly smiled. Jae could see what he thought. He thought Jae was suggesting someplace where they could act on what Jae was sure they both wanted.
“All right,” Kelly murmured with an expression that defined surrender. Jae opened the door for him and helped him in, sliding a hand down his arm and around to help him buckle up in a gesture that became an excuse for brushing touches on skin that rippled and got gooseflesh with anticipation. Kelly made the most of the opportunity to touch him back.
“I have just the place.” Jae closed the door and walked around the back of the car. While Jae drove, Kelly kneaded his shoulder. Jae had placed his coat in the back of the car. With only the thin fabric of a black T-shirt between his skin and Kelly’s fingertips, he felt the warmth of the man’s hand as it caressed him. He pulled into the parking lot of the Kyoto Grand Hotel, and to his surprise, Kelly asked no questions, just allowed himself to be led.
It was as if Kelly didn’t look at anything but him. That unnerving and frank gaze was serene as he waited for Jae to tell him—to show him—what was going to happen. There was a waiting stillness in him that Jae was willing to attribute to wisdom, to age, to tranquility, to fear. To anything, really, but indifference. When Jae put his hand on the small of Kelly’s back and led him from the elevator out into the garden, he felt the heat coming off Kelly in waves.
Not indifference then, far from it
.
Submission
.
Jae had a moment’s regret that he hadn’t taken Kelly straight home to his apartment.
“Wow,” Kelly breathed.
“Yeah.” Jae began down a path rich with mounds of blooming pink azaleas and sprays of ornamental grasses, dotted by bonsai trees. They walked slowly, savoring the scents of late summer flowers and soil and water, which fell in sheets from a waterfall and collected in placid pools.
“Oh, good,
good
place.” Kelly seemed to examine each and every plant and rock eagerly as he passed the large chunks of rosy-colored stone imported from Japan. Beds of sand had been meticulously combed into swirls and patterns, like south sea island tattoos, evocative representations of the ocean. “You could hardly believe anything like this existed if you were simply down on the street looking up.”
“I come here when I need to think.” Jae didn’t mention that he’d come here once or twice to think about
Windows
, and how to draw out the writer and expose what he’d thought was the woman who’d mishandled his sacred text.
“It’s wonderful.” Kelly let him lead the way. “I like to garden. At home, I have a kind of gazebo in the middle of mine, where I like to sit. I’ve found over the years that it’s important to me.”
“You garden?” Jae couldn’t equate the act of gardening with the seeming grab bag of phobias that manifested themselves in Kelly. “Isn’t that kind of…”
“Dirty? Messy?” Kelly laughed. “I had a friend growing up whose mother had a crippling case of OCD. She had to bleach anything, and I mean even my friend, before she could touch it. It was actually kind of sad. But for some inexplicable reason she used to eat at fast food restaurants whenever I went to visit.” Kelly shook his head. “It was as if whatever made her phobic about germs hadn’t quite presented itself logically and said,
here, germs are everywhere
. She would go for miles to avoid touching a child’s toy, but drove through a chain restaurant for lunch without giving it a second thought.”
“So what you’re saying is it makes no sense?”
“Yup.”
“How do you stand it?”
“The very fact that it makes no sense
is
how I stand it,” Kelly explained. “It’s like…being allergic to something, only you don’t know what it is…or maybe it changes every day. You go through all the motions, and you think, well, crap. Here we go again.”
“You’re very well adjusted for—”
Kelly barked a laugh. “For someone who is so obviously
not
.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Jae said, taking Kelly’s hand and leading him along the path beside the sand ocean.
“It’s all right. Sometimes I feel so old. I didn’t always have this, but it didn’t happen overnight. The panic attacks came on gradually, and at first…well. I don’t want to talk about that. I just got some help dealing with the physical manifestations and worked on trying not to avoid or anticipate the events.”
“That’s almost…heroic.” Jae stopped him. “I doubt if I could be that sanguine about it.”
Pain flickered briefly in Kelly’s eyes and Jae wondered if he’d accidentally said something wrong. It was there and gone so quickly he might have believed he’d imagined it if Kelly hadn’t tightened his grip on Jae’s hand.
“That’s the joke. Everything extraordinary that I’ve ever done has occurred entirely in my head.”
Jae touched the back of one of his fingers to Kelly’s cheek. “Surely not everything.”
“Well—” A loud cough from someone on the path nearby caused Kelly to begin moving again, and Jae was sorry Kelly never finished his thought. They spent the rest of the early afternoon sitting in the rooftop garden, and then they wandered over to the section of Little Tokyo where they explored the shops and found another Japanese garden next to a community center. They walked around that for a while. Kelly sat on a stone bench near a lotus pool. Jae joined him there, enjoying a lengthy companionable silence.
Eventually Jae’s stomach rumbled loudly and they both laughed.
“Hungry?” Kelly watched schools of tiny fish darting back and forth in the water.
“I am.” Jae sighed, getting up.
“What a spectacular place to spend time, thank you so very much.”
“It wasn’t the most exciting afternoon.” Jae took his hand again and began to lead him back the way they’d come. “I’ve been known to show a date a better time.”
“Different,” said Kelly. “But I doubt better.”
“Thank you.”
Kelly turned to him, looking up. He had to shade his eyes as the afternoon sun slanted over them. “Well. Not if you didn’t think so. It might have been less than exciting for you. I’ve been known to bore more outgoing people to death.”
“I don’t ever think I could find you boring. You take such interest in things. It’s fun to watch.”
Kelly smiled as Jae led him back to the car. In the dark and isolated cool of the parking garage, Jae pulled Kelly in and kissed him, smoothing down the crisp white fabric covering the smaller man’s torso. He didn’t stop until his hands cupped each of Kelly’s tight ass cheeks. He lifted Kelly up to his toes in an incendiary embrace, from which they eventually broke apart, dazed and panting.
“It’s official, I will
never
find you boring,” Jae stated shakily, taking Kelly’s hand. To his surprise, he felt a sharp tug of resistance. He turned. “What?”
“I don’t know.” Kelly glanced back the way they came.
“Problem?”
“Kind of.”
“Can you tell me?” Jae put his hand on Kelly’s shoulder, experiencing a protective surge somewhere in his chest, which felt tight and expansive all at once.
“I just…” Kelly’s eyes rose to meet his. “I wanted to freeze that. Get it right here.” He fisted the front of his shirt. “So I would never lose it.”
“Kelly…”
Kelly began moving toward the car again, catching Jae’s hand as he went. He shot Jae a smile over his shoulder that was at once sweet and sheepish. “I wanted to hang on to that a little longer, is all.”