Highland Chieftain (21 page)

Bethoc stared at her home. It had just come fully into view and she had to fight down the urge to race toward it. For once, she was eager to get home. She needed to see how Colin and Bean fared and make certain that she had done the right thing for Magnus.

Robbie stood in the door as they dismounted. “So how are Payton and Kirstie?” he asked.

“Excellent health,” replied Callum, stepping up to clap Robbie on the back. “Kirstie is with child again. The lads are growing fast and David, too. Didnae see Moira but seems she is with child and near her time.”

“I still cannae believe she wed Alan. T'was a good match though. Ye could see it.”

“Aye. Where are the lads?”

“In the fields. Harvest coming in. Still a wee bit slow but gaining fast. Looks like there will be a lot to take to market.”

“And for once they can decide what is done with the money,” said Bethoc.

“Och, aye, they are looking forward to that,” said Robbie as they all walked inside.

Bethoc gasped and looked around. The floor had been fixed and scrubbed so clean she had briefly thought it a new floor. Her father's bed was gone and her nook appeared to have been made into a place to sit. The rough steps up to the loft had been replaced by a sturdier stairway and, she realized, it disappeared into a proper opening. Someone had finished closing off the upstairs making a full second floor instead of just a rough loft.

“Someone has been busy,” she said, fighting the urge to run up the stairs and see what else had been done.

“Aye,” replied Robbie as he set some cider and tankards on the table, “I am nay good in the fields except for helping to move rocks or the like. Dinnae like it, either. But I could do something about all the ideas they had about what to do to the house. That I could do, like to do. Like to build things.”

As they moved to sit at the table, Callum said, “Aye, Moira still talks of her kitchen as if it was a gift from the gods.” He poured some cider not for himself, Bethoc, and Moira.

“Weel, Alan made the chimney. Did a fine job, too,” said Robbie as he sat down and poured himself some cider.

Seeing the framing on the back of the house, Bethoc asked, “Is that what ye plan to do here?”

“Aye, but ye already have the chimney to use.” He winked at her. “Will get that closed in ere the winter comes and can do the rest during the cold time.”

“So, are ye nay coming back to Whytemont then?” asked Callum.

“I dinnae think so,” he answered, and sighed. “Nay certain. She and Magnus live at her house and I stay here. 'Tis probably best for now but e'en my patient nature is being tested by it. Building helps.”

“Where are the boys?”

“In the fields, sweetling, but they are due to come home or I would have gone out to tell them ye are here.” He glanced at the front door. “Laurel and Magnus should come soon. She insists on feeding us.” He grinned. “Told her I can do it myself and the boys said they kenned a lot but she wouldnae hear of it.”

Margaret heard the boys before Bethoc did and raced out the back to greet them. A laughing Colin entered with her clinging to him. Bethoc took her as he and Bean washed up and saw that they had grown some. They were turning into two very handsome young men. It was not until they were all seated at the table, the boys talking about the harvest, that she realized they had also changed in temperament. Gone was the precise recitation of facts, replaced by a vigorous discussion of the harvest.

They could now truly enjoy pride in what they did, she decided. Their work was both appreciated and complimented on by Robbie and Callum but they also knew the money it would bring would truly be theirs. It was their home now, she thought, and felt both pleased for them and worried about what she would face when she was alone again.

A knock came at the door and everyone grew silent. Robbie frowned as he stood up and went toward the door. Bethoc looked at frowning Colin and cocked one brow.

“Should be Laurel and Magnus bringing our meal,” Colin said, “but she ne'er knocks. As Robbie's lady she just walks in, ye ken.”

“Robbie's lady?”

“Aye, although I am thinking she doesnae ken it yet.” He grinned.

Bethoc grinned back and looked toward the door even as Laurel and Magnus entered. She smiled at the woman as Magnus rushed over to hug her in greeting. Laurel looked so much better than she had when Bethoc had left. There was life in her face, the sadness and anger gone, or at least had retreated. The moment Magnus let her go and went to sit next to Colin, she got up to see if she could help Laurel.

“
Jesu
, woman,” said Robbie as he took the pot from her to hang it over the fire. “This must weigh more than I do. Mayhap when we are done with the meal ye can help me shift a few boulders in the back.”

Laurel laughed and slapped him on the arm. Bethoc helped her set out the bowls, spoons, and bread as Laurel explained that she had knocked because she had not realized who the horses had belonged to. It was a hearty meal and there was more than enough for all of them.

Conversation was mainly about the changes to the house. Bethoc listened in fascination to all the boys had to say and then to what Robbie discussed with Callum about what it would take to make the change. The boys were being treated as equals and she could see that they loved it.

The boys cleaned up with no complaint after they were done with the meal, especially since Robbie and Callum helped. Bethoc finally found herself alone with Laurel. They slipped outside into the fading light of day and began to stroll through the garden.

“It seems to me that ye are much improved.” Bethoc said. “In spirit.”

“I am. I have my moments when I recall too much and am either afraid or very angry but they already become less as time slips by and life goes on. Odd thing is, the end of my mourning helped. I was free, not only of prison and those animals but my husband.” She glanced toward the house. “I now fret o'er what step to take next.”

“I wondered. Do ye like the mon, Laurel?”

“Aye, in truth I think 'tis more than like.” She smiled faintly. “He is so calm. I feel safe when I am with him and all the dark thoughts prison gave me fade. They nay disappear, just grow distant. Robbie said ye told him he smelled like a grave.”

Bethoc gasped, horrified. “I ne'er said that. He smells like the earth. Just the earth. Oh.” She tensed. “He told ye about me.”

“Aye. Dinnae worry. I dinnae understand it but I am nay one to fear what I dinnae understand. I would be afeared all the time if I did. But I think I nay longer trust myself. My husband was a poor choice. What if I am about to make another one?”

“Nay with Robbie. He is what ye see. Aye, he smells of the earth, good, fertile earth. It means he is steady and when he decides, he stands firm on that decision. 'Tis a good smell. You can trust in it, in him, and lean on it.”

“'Tisnae that I dinnae ken that, 'tis that I fear I can ne'er be a proper wife, one a mon like that needs.”

“The only way to ken that for certain is to try, but only if ye really wish to. And, mayhap let him ken your fears.”

Laurel frowned for a moment and then smiled. “'Tis good advice and I dinnae say that just because it was the same thing I was thinking.” She laughed with Bethoc. “'Tis really the only thing to do.”

“But only if ye care for him.”

“Oh, I do. I swear it.” She sighed. “I just pray he cares for me.” She stared at Bethoc who started laughing. “What is it?”

“Oh, Laurel, why do ye think he is here?”

* * *

Bethoc crawled into her bed and discovered it now had a much better mattress, then got distracted when Callum crawled in beside her. “I dinnae think this bed was made for two.”

“Then we shall have to sleep really close,” he murmured, pulling her up next to him.

“Should we nay worry about Robbie coming back?” She slipped her arms around his neck.

He laughed softly. “Nay. When he left to escort Laurel home he wasnae intending to come back here till the morning.”

“Dinnae forget what Laurel suffered in prison. She may nay let him stay, or just cannae let him.”

“Nay, I dinnae think so.”

“What makes ye so certain? And why would Robbie be so certain?”

“Magnus is sleeping upstairs with the lads.”

“Oh.” She wondered how she had missed that, then shivered with pleasure as Callum slid his hands under her night shift and up to caress her breasts. “That doesnae really mean she will keep Robbie all night. If she gets, weel, scared by something, he could be coming back a lot earlier.” Her last words were smothered by his dragging her shift over her head.

“He willnae come back.” He sighed and kissed her between her breasts as he slid his hand between her legs. “He told me he will stay e'en if all he can do is hold her close all night.”

For a moment Bethoc was so touched by that that her desire eased back. “Oh, that is so sweet. Laurel has to accept him. I think he is the kind of mon she deserves.”

He kissed the hollow at the base of her throat. “I really dinnae want to talk about Robbie.”

She laughed but her humor ended when he kissed her. Her desire for him returned in a rush, fed and nurtured by his. The stroking of his tongue in her mouth matched the movement of the two fingers he had slipped inside her. She was breathless and shaking a little by the time he ended the kiss. Bethoc clung to him as he kissed his way down her body, lingering for a short while at her breasts.

A pang of disappointment cut through her desire when he kissed his way down her leg. It was wonderful, the little nips he gave her soothed quickly by the strokes of his tongue, but it was not what she had expected him to do. She realized she was no longer shy or shocked by such intimacy, she was eager for it. A restless need overtook her, her legs shifting as he kissed his way back up her other leg. Then he finally gave her the intimate kiss she had been craving and Bethoc called out his name.

Her desire rose fast and she fought its demand, wanting the pleasure he gave her to last. When she knew she could not hold back any longer she tried to pull him up, to make him join their bodies but he continued to push her with his kiss. Then she shattered and, as she began to come down from the heights, he drove into her. Bethoc hung on to him as he took them both over the edge.

She was still struggling to catch her breath as he settled himself more comfortably in the bed and pulled her into his arms. Resting her cheek on his chest she wished for words of love but he said nothing. Bethoc knew she could not keep living with the lack for long.

Chapter Twenty-One

Sunlight woke her and Bethoc tried to ease her body away from Callum's, not an easy thing to do when they were spooned together. He groaned and rolled onto his back, one arm flung over his face. She sat up and drew on her shift then reached for her hose. For a moment she paused and stared out at the room, not really seeing it as she became lost in her thoughts.

They had made love, spent the night sleeping in each other's arms, yet there was still no talk of love or a future. Callum was obviously content with the way things were. They were lovers, mayhap even friends, and that was apparently enough for him. Bethoc knew it could not be enough for her but she did not want to leave him either.

Her eyes stung and she realized she was making herself sad. She quickly forced her wandering mind back to the mundane matter of getting dressed. Just as she was reaching for her shoes, Callum wrapped his arm around her waist, tugged her back up against him, and kissed the back of her neck.

“The boys are waking up,” she warned just before he kissed her.

Callum was disappointed by that news for it meant he could not make love to her again but he savored the short kiss they shared before reaching for his clothes. He had let another night slip by without speaking. It appeared his cowardice ran deeper than he had thought. It was surprising that she stayed with him yet he could see a look in her eyes, a sadness that told him his luck would not hold for long. If for no other reason than to take that look of sadness from her eyes, he had to work up the courage to tell her what was in his heart.

He did not understand where his lack of courage came from. Yet just thinking of Bethoc not returning in kind anything he had to say to get her to stay was, to his dismay, terrifying. Callum told himself that he owed it to her. He could not just continue to find reasons or ways to keep her close without offering her more. Bethoc deserved better than that.

It was as they readied breakfast that Robbie and Laurel returned. There was a faint color in Laurel's cheeks and she kept exchanging looks with Robbie. Bethoc was eager to talk with the woman before she left for Whytemont and finally grabbed the chance when they went into the garden to dump the wash water on the plants.

“I am going to marry that mon,” Laurel announced before Bethoc had a chance to even think of what question to ask her.

“Ye love him?”

“Oh, aye, but 'tis more than that. He kens what happened to me.”

“Weel, aye, he was with the ones who saved us and things were said . . .”

“Nay, I mean he
kens
it, understands it, kens the wounds it leaves on mind and heart. He was one of the children saved by Payton and Kirstie.” She nodded when Bethoc gasped and put her hand over her mouth for she had not given a thought to what that had meant. “He was beaten near to death yet still got away to stay by his sister's side. He still carries the scars from that,” she whispered. “So he understands when I say I cannae bear a mon on top of me.” Laurel abruptly grinned. “He showed me one didnae have to be on top.”

Bethoc took Laurel's hands in hers. “That is good news. And does he love ye?”

“Aye and I didnae e'en have to pry it out of him. He freely told me. And I can tell by the sadness clouding your eyes that ye wish for such words to come from Callum.”

“I do but ne'er think that I am nay happy for ye.”

“I ken it. My opinion? I fear ye may have to open your heart to him ere he gets the courage to speak.”

She sighed for she had begun to think the same. “I dinnae ken why he needs courage. Mon has that in abundance.”

“Mayhap nay when it comes to something that matters to him, someone he needs to gain something from—like love or acceptance. Dinnae e'er forget what his childhood was like. I dinnae ken how much he has told ye but it was bad, Bethoc, verra bad. He is a wounded mon e'en if he thinks he is fully recovered. To, weel, expose himself so may be too hard.”

“Aye, I ken what ye are saying. Do ye ken, I thought of just staying here but I left the boys at Whytemont. Then I fear if I do that he still willnae say anything and I will be left alone. For the moment, I just stay and pray he will eventually give me the more I want, I need. 'Tis nay a good situation and certainly nay a good solution.”

Hooking her arm through Bethoc's, Laurel said, “Then I best tell ye that I am moving here. I will sell my house or mayhap get some tenants so that we will still have a place when the lads get older. The lads asked if I would move in ere Robbie did. 'Tis their house, aye? But, if ye wish me to wait . . .”

“Nay, dinnae wait on what I will do. Aye, this is Colin's and Bean's house now. I dinnae think Kerr left anything saying just that but I believe he would have named them his heirs if only to keep his land from falling into the hands of a girl child. All the work that has been done is theirs.”

“T'was your mother's parent who bought it.”

“Aye, to be rid of the embarrassment their daughter had become. Nay, do what ye will. If I decide, or Callum does, that I should leave him, I have a father and I suspicion he may have a cottage I could use if needed.”

“And that wouldnae trouble ye?”

“Only a little but if I take it as just another tenant, nay. All I ask is an empty house he would have given to some other tenant. 'Tis nay so much to ask of the mon who fathered me.”

“Nay, it isnae. I could wait until ye ken for sure ye need one and then rent ye mine.”

“Nay. If ye can find someone to take it, I suspicion ye could use the money.”

“Weel, I wish ye luck.”

“Oh, weel, I dinnae doubt Sir Murray . . .”

“Nay, I mean with getting Callum to tell ye exactly what he wants, what he feels, too. From the tales Robbie told me of what happened when they were lads, it willnae be easy. I truly think he may fear ye will reject him.”

“Robbie wasnae afraid.”

“Robbie is a mon who kens what he wants and doesnae let anything stand in his way. He wasnae calm, nay at all, but kenned he had to speak his heart if he was to win me.”

“And he did.”

“Aye, he did, and we will marry next month. I expect ye to attend.”

Bethoc readily agreed. When they reached the house it was obvious Robbie had told the boys. Their pleasure decided Bethoc; she would consider the house out of her reach now. It was not until she stood outside waiting for Callum to ready the horses that she remembered to ask Laurel about Lorraine.

“She is to wed Walter next week,” she said as she stood holding Robbie's hand.

“Ah, that is good, I hope.” She watched Robbie kiss Laurel on the cheek and then go join Callum.

“'Tis. She told me she doesnae ken when their childhood friendship changed but it had. I think some of Walter's guilt has eased as weel. No one blames him for the women who were hanged but they did blame the sheriff and his men. They have all been hanged, ye ken, and Walter did all he could to make sure what was done to me was kept a secret. I went to the hangings but although a part of me was eased, I didnae get any joy out of it. It was all rather sad.”

“Aye, 'tis. I hope Walter continues to lose his guilt as he doesnae deserve to suffer.”

“Nay. And he spoke up to Lorraine quickly,” Laurel said with a pointed look at Bethoc. “Ye need to be firm and brave, my friend.”

“Dinnae nag,” Bethoc murmured, and briefly grinned. “I will think most seriously about it.”

* * *

“Are ye going to marry that lass?” asked Robbie as he reached Callum's side.

Callum sighed. “I should, shouldnae I.”

“Aye, and I dinnae understand why ye are so slow to do something. The lass loves ye, if that is what holds ye back.”

“And just how do ye ken that?”

“She is with ye. She is nay a wanton lass yet she is your lover. Ye give her no hint of how ye feel about her yet she stays. And then there is the way she looks at ye.”

“Oh.”

“Of course, lately, she has a sad look when she looks at ye. I think she is starting to wonder if she is wasting her time.”

“I have seen it,” he whispered. “I dinnae ken what to do about it.”

“Say something. Speak your heart to her. Ye best do it soon or ye will find she is gone.”

Callum knew that was true. He could almost see it coming. What he was not sure of was whether he had the courage to speak the kind of words that would stop it.

* * *

Bethoc pulled Margaret away from the boys and went to the horses when she saw that Callum was ready to leave. Callum held the child until Bethoc had mounted and gotten settled then handed her the child. Once he mounted they started on their way. Despite her efforts not to, Bethoc felt her eyes sting with tears. This part of her life was over and she had to accept it. Laurel and Robbie would care well for the boys, she knew, and only felt sorry that she would now see little of them. She made a silent promise that she would not allow them to lose touch.

“I am sorry about Robbie,” she said, suddenly realizing that Callum had lost someone who had been at his side since he had been a child, someone who knew what he had suffered, had shared that horror. “He willnae come back to Whytemont now.”

“Nay. And, aye, 'tis something that saddens me, but I am also verra happy for him. He has found the life he wants,” Callum said, and smiled at her. “That is nae small thing.”

“Nay, it isnae. Laurel loves him.”

“Good. That's good. Robbie deserves it.”

“He does. And Colin and Bean are pleased. They ken they are too young to live alone at the house, that they would be easy prey for anyone thinking to take it, and, I think, they like the promise of being part of a family again.”

“And by the time Robbie is finished they will have a verra fine house indeed.”

Bethoc laughed and nodded. They fell into an easy silence yet she caught him sneaking looks at her often enough to make her a little nervous. She wondered if Robbie and Laurel's announcement had made him think about their own situation. It would be wonderful if it had but she forced herself not to hope. He had had weeks to do or say something to change their situation and had not. Bethoc would not allow herself to think that he would do so now.

The sun was almost down when they crossed onto MacMillan lands. Callum asked if Bethoc could ride a little farther for Whytemont was only an hour or two away and she agreed even though her backside was already numb. But with the choice of sleeping outside or in a nice soft bed, she was more than willing to endure another hour or so on a horse.

When Whytemont finally came into view, Bethoc would have done a dance for joy if she was not so uncertain her legs would actually hold her up when she finally tried to stand on them. She waited until Callum took Margaret then slowly dismounted, clinging to the saddle when her feet touched the ground for she knew her legs would fold if she tried to have them carry her weight. The boy who had come to take her horse was fighting a grin. She scowled at him and he looked away, although she doubted he ceased to be amused. Then Callum clasped her hand gripping the saddle horn and wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Come along, lass, I will get ye inside,” he said.

“What about Margaret?”

“She is with the lads. They will watch her for now.” Since she had begun to walk properly, if very slowly, Callum simply hooked his arm through hers to lead her up to his bedchamber.

Once inside his room he nudged her toward the bed but noticed she made no move to sit on it. Callum called a maid and ordered a bath for her. Bethoc opened her mouth to protest then shut it. A hot bath was just what she needed. She would apologize later for causing the women so much extra work. As the bath arrived and was being filled, Callum knelt at her feet and unlaced her boots. When he stood up and began to unlace her gown, she placed her hands over his to halt him as she looked for the maids, only to find them now gone.

“I can undress myself,” she said, and frowned at him when he grinned.

“Now, allow a poor mon to help prepare his lass for her bath.” He nudged her hands out of the way and took her gown off. “I am going to take care of ye.”

Bethoc thought on protesting again but gave it up. Considering all that had passed between them a show of modesty now would be foolish. She also wanted desperately to get into that bath. When he tossed the last of her clothing aside, he helped her into the tub. She quickly sank beneath the water and sighed with pleasure as the warmth surrounded her. Closing her eyes she let that warmth work its magic on all her aches and pains.

Her eyes flew open when Callum stepped into the tub. The man had shed his clothes quickly. He grinned as he arranged his body around hers. Bethoc narrowed her eyes and, beneath the water, reached out to tickle his foot. She grinned as he yelped and gave an involuntary laugh then pulled his feet back until his legs were bent with his knees nearly up to his chin.

“Evil lass,” he said, and gathered up the washing cloth, dipping a corner of it into the pot of soap. “Turn round and I will wash your back then ye can do mine.”

She did as he asked and sighed with pleasure as he gently scrubbed her back. Bethoc was just about to turn to scrub his back when he wrapped his arms around her. He placed his soapy hands on her breasts, his washing of them more of a caress than a hearty cleaning. She slowly leaned back against him, seduced into letting him have his way. Through half-closed eyes she watched his elegant long-fingered hands move down her body, pausing now and then to wash her, until he slipped his hand between her legs. She closed her eyes as he stroked her, finding his touch both arousing and soothing. When her release came it caught her completely by surprise. She had felt her desire growing but it had been so slow she had missed the moment when it had gone from pleasure to demanding need.