High Risk (33 page)

CHAPTER
36

Marcus had one rope halfway coiled when he paused. Stood. Glanced around quickly at
the team, looking for whatever it was that was sending him warning signals. He turned
back to Becki just in time to see her lean hard on the rock behind her, body shaking.

“Shit. Alisha—take over. Becki’s in trouble.”

His lead hand snatched the rope from him. “Shock?”

“Maybe.” He was across to the wall and crouched at Becki’s side in a moment, catching
hold of her cold fingers with his. “Becki. Come on, what’s happening?”

Her eyes were wide but unfocused, as if she were watching a screen he couldn’t see.

Screw protocol. Marcus dropped to the ground beside her and scooped her into his arms,
cradling her from the cold and protecting her from the rock. “Come on, Becki. Come
back to me. You’re okay, the rescue is going great. You made it this far. You’re going
to make it all the way.”

She dragged in a shuddering breath and snapped her hands free, arms jerking outward
as if grabbing for something.

“Hush, come on.” Marcus kicked his own ass. He should have been prepared for this
possibility. Should have been there to stop her from going it alone. He put his lips
next to her ear and spoke softly, rocking her carefully. “You’re the strongest woman
I know. Brave, committed. Talented. Damn, I have no idea why you were willing to put
up with an ass like me, but I’m so glad you did. Now you need to come back to me,
sweet Becki. You need to give me hell a few more times.”

Her hands moved until her fingers clutched the fabric of his jacket. She gasped, then
buried her face against his chest. “Oh God, no . . .”

The utter misery in her cry tore him apart.

A hand touched his shoulder, Xavier leaning in close. “Boss, you need help?”

As if the unfamiliar voice were a trigger, Becki’s head snapped up, her green eyes
sparkling bright with the tears that filled them. “Marcus—oh God, Marcus, I know.
I know it all.”

“What do you know, sweet Becki?” And more important, was she aware of what was going
on, or did she need medical care herself? “Are you here with me again? Tell me where
we are.”

She sucked in a huge breath of air, shakily letting it escape as a tear trickled down
her cheek. “We’re in the Needles. We rescued Colin and Rob. We need to get them out
for medical attention. I know where we are.”

Marcus glanced at Xavier. “Gear up. We’ll be okay.”

“Three minutes to exit, if you can be ready,” Xavier warned.

Becki responded before Marcus could. “I’m good. Sorry for making trouble. We’ll be
ready.”

“Hell, you’re not trouble,” Xavier insisted. “FYI, clouds are clearing a little.”

The paramedic left them, and Marcus lifted her chin so he could stare into her eyes.
“What happened?”

“I think the rescue prompted it. The final missing part.” She sighed and shook her
head. “But we have two minutes and a rescue to finish. I’ll tell you the rest at home.”

Goddamn. “Becki . . .”

“Give one hundred percent, Marcus. We’re not done.” She ran her hands up his arms
until she could wrap around his shoulders and squeeze him with her strong grip. “It
looks as if you were having to babysit me.”

“I’ll do it again in a minute.” He was going to go crazy on the hike out, not knowing
the details, but she was right. They weren’t out of the mountains. Still, there was
something he had to tell her before they went anywhere. Before she told him anything,
because whatever she said, he’d made a decision.

The past few hours had only strengthened his resolve. It wasn’t a case anymore of
wanting the best for her. That was a priority, but it wasn’t the only thing. No matter
what it took, he wasn’t going to let her leave him behind.

He pulled them upright, keeping her in his arms for a moment, his fingers skimming
over her cheek until his palm cradled the back of her head. He pressed their lips
together and kissed her. Gentle in pressure, but as possessively as he knew how. A
brand of ownership—only in reverse.

A declaration that he was totally hers.

There was a question in her eyes as he pulled away, and he paused to rub his thumb
lightly over her bottom lip. “I’ve got your back,” he promised.

Becki tilted her head to the side, wonder still on her face. “One minute to get ready,”
she warned.

“We’re ready.” For anything. Convincing her of that was now his number one objective.
No matter what her memories had brought, they were going to go forward together.

* * *

The trip out passed in a blur. The trail, the headwall. Marcus never more than a pace
away from her, his presence comforting, reassuring.

There wasn’t as much to distract her on the outward journey. Colin walked in front
with Devon, or Alisha, listening to school stories from them. Xavier and Anders carried
the stretcher, the entire team moving smoothly on the steeper sections to ease the
awkward object forward.

Even at the headwall there were no hesitations. Alisha and Devon swarmed up the rock
and had the stretcher rising into the shrouded air in what seemed to be moments.

Marcus hugged her from behind as they waited their turn. His breath warm by her ear,
his hand curled possessively around her hip as he cradled her between his thighs.
He hadn’t poked to be told what she’d seen, and she appreciated that. It was too big
to spit out in a moment, too huge to simply blurt out in one sentence.

Only the truth changed everything. Becki twisted her head to touch her lips to his
cheek, needing to at least let him know that whatever was between them hadn’t changed.

What she was going to do next was still up in the air.

A shiver struck as the first fixed rope for their ascent smacked the ground. “I’m
so not ready for this,” she confessed.

Marcus patted her butt and pushed her forward. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You
can’t expect to leave the past behind that fast.”

Anders held her rope until she clutched it tight, knotting herself in, staring straight
ahead and focusing until Marcus moved behind her.

If she closed her eyes for most of the time they were in the air, she figured Marcus
wasn’t going to blame her.

The final bit of trail vanished under their feet, the chopper dead ahead, Erin hanging
out the door to help load the stretcher before giving Devon a fist bump and disappearing
back into the cockpit.

Marcus boosted her into the chopper and took the seat next to her, grabbing hold of
her fingers as soon as they were both buckled in.

She rested her temple on his shoulder and didn’t bother to turn on the headset. She
was officially done for the day—someone else could make the decisions from here on.

Only the lift and travel time gave opportunity for the images of Dane to repeat. She
struggled against them, choosing instead to go back to the earlier days; to try to
remember the moments that she’d thought were out of character for him.

Exhaustion took its toll, and even the memories faded, her eyelids heavy, sleep pulling
her under.

CHAPTER
37

A brush over her cheek woke her

Everything had gone quiet. Shockingly quiet, with no helicopter or voices. Something
soft cradled her head, and she glanced around to discover the familiar walls of Marcus’s
bedroom. He sat beside her, reaching out to stroke her hair behind her ear and down
over her shoulder. “Sleeping Beauty wakes.”

Curtains closed, no clue of the time of day. “Did I pass out?”

He shook his head. “Fell asleep. Like a rock. There was no need to wake you, and sleep
was the best possible thing.”

She rolled slightly and stretched, arms overhead, back arching. Aches and pains in
muscles screamed that she’d gone from full out to full stop way too fast. “I won’t
even be embarrassed. Much. How are Colin and Rob?”

“Rob’s in a cast and Colin spent the night at Devon’s place. I think they’re getting
along well.”

“It’s morning? Wow.” Although after crashing, sleeping around the clock wasn’t unexpected.
She stared up at him and wondered what to say. “Your truck’s at the cabin.”

He smiled. “Anders and a friend are picking it up for me.” Marcus shifted to his feet
and offered his hand to her. “Grab a shower. Get dressed. I’ll make you some food,
and then we can talk.”

The hot water washed away the rest of the cobwebs but didn’t help her get any further
in making a decision. Becki tiptoed into the living room and spotted him moving easily
in the kitchen. Strong body, arms flexing as he worked, and something heated inside.

She didn’t want to give him up. That was all she knew.

Slipping beside him, she ducked under his arm and planted herself against his body,
wrapped her arms around his waist, and squeezed, her ear resting on his chest.

The steady pulse of his heart soothed her.

“You should eat,” Marcus scolded, but he cuddled her in spite of his protests.

“I need to tell you what happened more than I need food.”

She was recovered enough that if he’d argued, she would have stomped on his toes before
dragging him to the living room.

“I want to know,” Marcus confessed. He turned off the burner, then scooped her up
as if she were a feather, coming to a stop by the couch.

When he sat and refused to let her out of his lap, Becki smiled. “I can sit by myself.”

“I need to hold you.”

Her heart skipped a beat. The emphasis had totally been on
need
in that phrase.

She caught his face in her hands. “You were right. I didn’t do anything to cause the
accident. We could have made it off the mountain in one piece, but Dane chose—”

She drew in a long breath through her nose and fought for control.

He waited for her to continue, his own tiredness and confusion showing in his expression,
his concern for her in his touch as he stroked her arm.

“Dane chose to die. When I call the authorities, we’ll ask them to check for preexisting
medical conditions. Contact his birth mom.”

“Who cut the rope?” Marcus asked.

“Dane.” Becki shook her head. “It doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t understand why
someone would choose to die before he had to.”

“Are you saying he committed suicide?”

She nodded as she fought back the tears she’d refused to cry earlier on the trail.
“He was so young. And smart. I just don’t understand.”

Silence answered. Marcus shifted position so they were still holding each other, but
there was enough distance that she could look him squarely in the face. He examined
her cautiously, as if checking to ensure she could handle more.

She fell a little more in love.

He cleared his throat and spoke quietly. “When I got hurt—the accident. It should
never have happened.”

“You were out of the country?” He’d never really told her what he did for work back
then.

He paused, only for a moment, then let her have it all. “I worked for whoever hired
me. Did a couple of military jobs, but those were few and far between. They like their
own people in position, but the word got out in some circles that I could climb anything.
So I got calls. Ones on the quiet side. Paramilitary, usually.”

This wasn’t what she’d expected. “You were military?”

“No. I was—well, anything they needed, except I never carried a gun. I did actual
rescues. I snuck into bedrooms. Sometimes they needed recovery of some object, sometimes
a door opened and access gained to a restricted part of a building. I’d climb whatever
they pointed me at.”

“Recovery. This is all sounding very James Bond.”

Marcus nodded. “There were a few times I climbed in a tux after leaving a fancy party.
Including the day it all went to hell.”

Tension curled around him, and she adjusted position to rub his shoulders. She didn’t
understand, but she didn’t want him to stop. “Why are you telling me this now?”

“Because people make choices, Becki. Not always the ones we’d make in the same situation.
I slipped out of the party I’d been planted at and climbed the building until I got
in an open window. One of the team was waiting for me, and once I’d turned off the
alarm system, he joined me.

“Only the place got bombed. Friendly fire—or at least friendly to us. The military
reports had said there wasn’t supposed to be any action until the next day, and that’s
why we were in there, gathering information before it all got blown to hell.”

Becki shuddered. “The building blew up on you?”

“Parts collapsed. Most of the partygoers survived—the offices were in a different
section of the building. Only we got caught, my teammate and I. Trapped under the
rubble.” Marcus stared at the wall. “My hand was crushed. He got pinned under some
concrete, his legs mangled under the mess.”

“Oh God, Marcus.” She didn’t like where this was going. “How long were you there?”

“Four days, but it was enough. We tried everything to get free, and nothing worked.
We passed in and out of consciousness at times from the pain. And then—” His nostrils
flared as he swallowed hard. “He made a choice, Becki. One that I didn’t want to make.
He offered to shoot me.”

She bolted upright, shocked. “Why the hell would he offer to do that?”

“Because he figured we were going to die, and he wanted to die on his terms. He gave
me the same choice.”

Her stomach rolled, and she was suddenly glad she hadn’t eaten before this conversation.

“I tried. I tried so damn hard to talk him out of it. To persuade him to hang on,
that there were options.” Marcus closed his eyes, his face tight with sorrow. “In
the end I couldn’t save him.”

“It was wrong. It was the wrong decision.”

Marcus nodded, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck and pulling their foreheads
together. “It would have been the wrong decision for me. I chose to fight on. To wait
and see what else would happen, and deal with the consequences. I knew my arm would
probably be gone, but I didn’t think giving up my hand meant I should give up my life.”

The idea of him not being there tore into her soul. “Marcus, oh God. Your hand doesn’t
matter. Not one bit.”

“It still tears into me. That I couldn’t stop him. That’s my nightmare—that’s what
torments me.”

She brought their mouths together and kissed him. Needing his touch, the beautiful
connection that had built between them to brush away the images in her mind.

* * *

Marcus held her tenderly but refused to take the embrace further. He pulled them apart
and resorted to stroking her back in the hopes of distracting her. Maybe it hadn’t
been the right time to share his story, but when would it be right?

“In the end, we all make our own choices, Becki. Dane made his. Right or wrong, we
can only go forward.” Marcus stilled the urge to curse at Dane, though, for taking
his own interests into the forefront and not thinking of what his decision would do
to Becki.

If he hated Dane for anything, it was for being selfish and hurting someone he’d said
he loved.

Becki nodded. She slid her fingers down his shoulder, finishing by holding his forearm.
Her clasp growing stronger by the moment. “So . . . where do we go forward
to
?”

Marcus wanted to shout an answer—that they’d stay together—but she needed to make
her own decisions. Only, like
hell
would he give up without a fight.

“You have wide open doors again, Becki. Once the reports come back from medical to
confirm what you’ve remembered, you can do anything. Teach here, go back to SAR in
Yellowstone for the fall.” She stiffened even as he spoke. Her mouth opened, but no
words came out. Whatever was wrong, it was killing him. “Becki?”

She glared, all the softness of the previous moment gone. “You trying to get rid of
me?”

Wait.
“What?”

“You just told me to go back to Yellowstone. Nice.” Becki released him so fast he
thought she was going to fall backward off the couch, and he reached out to steady
her. “What happened to the offer to work with Lifeline?” she snapped.

“That’s still on the table, but—”

“That’s not what it sounded like. Seemed like you said I’d go one way, and you go
the other? Bullshit.”

Maybe he hadn’t gotten enough sleep last night, either. “What the hell are you talking
about?”

Becki grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “Back in the cabin you said you needed
me. How does that work if I go back to Yellowstone, Marcus? What kind of relationship
you looking to have when we’re miles away from each other?”

Laughter burst out of him unchecked, and her eyes went wide with surprise. He hurried
to calm her. “You, woman, are one of the most fascinating people I have met in my
entire life. The way you jump to conclusions sets records. Listen to me. I didn’t
tell you what I was going to do. I asked what
you
wanted to do.”

“But—” She snapped her lips together and nodded her head once, her rage dampened.
“I’m still too wrapped up in layers to be able to deal with anything but straight-up
facts.”

“What do you want, sweet Becki?” he soothed, bringing their bodies into contact, the
heat between them rising. Her torso relaxed against him as he stroked her back. “Because
if you want to work for the school here in Banff, or Lifeline, you can. If you want
to go back to Yellowstone like you told Alisha, then you can go. But whatever you
decide, I’m not leaving you.”

She released the death grip she had on his shirt, instead pressing her palms to his
chest. “You’d come to Yellowstone? But the team . . . Lifeline.”

“I don’t need to be here for the team to continue,” Marcus pointed out. “The squad
is important to me, but it’s not who I am. Not anymore. Other things are far more
important. Worth changing my life for.”

“Oh, Marcus.” Her hands slipped up to clutch his neck.

He lowered his voice, whispering the words. Trying to convince her how serious he
was. “I’m going to stick tight until you give up and decide you want me around all
the time. The good, and the bad. I want it all.” Marcus smiled, loving the way she
fit against him. The way she’d fought when she’d thought he was leaving her. “I told
you I’ve been haunted by what I failed to do. Since you’ve come back into my life,
the darkness is fading.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Becki nodded slowly. “Just like it wasn’t mine.”

“Our lives, our choices. My choice is I want to be with you. I love you, Ms. James,
and no matter where we live, that’s not going to change.”

* * *

Becki stared in shock. Even quietly spoken the words had exploded out of him, and
she could barely believe her ears. “You . . . love me?”

“Yes. Does that seem so terrible?”

She shook her head. “I expected it would take tying you to a chair and threatening
to do horrible things before you’d admit it.”

“Well, I’m not as stubborn as you thought.” He brushed a kiss over her lips. Brief,
mouths just touching, then away. “I’m waiting. . . .”

Joy bubbled up inside.
He loved her
—there wasn’t anything that could have brought this rush of days to a more fitting
conclusion. Except teasing him a little, because it felt like the right thing to do.

“Waiting for what?” She batted her lashes.

He rewarded her with a smile, the one that turned her insides to sheer mush. “You
want me to tie you to a chair? Wouldn’t be a hardship on my part.”

This time Becki kissed him. Wet wonderful heat passing between them as she possessively
wrapped her arms around him. Hell, wrapped herself around him. When they finally came
up for air, contentment rolled off her in waves. “I do love you. And you’re what I
want—I don’t care where we live.”

“You’d said Yellowstone was home,” Marcus reminded her.

“
You’re
home,” she insisted.

It was a long way from their beginnings to where they were now. An impulsive girl
and adventure seeker, now grown up and tangled in something bigger than she’d ever
thought possible.

When he rolled her under him on the couch and convinced her all over again that they
belonged together, Becki knew she was right.