High Risk (30 page)

CHAPTER
32

Stubborn, hardheaded, fantastic woman. Marcus was torn between holding her or shaking
sense into her.

Becki wiggled away and disappeared into the bathroom, the sound of running water spilling
through the slightly open door. He peered in to see her press a washcloth to her face,
bathing away her tears.

It was his turn to pace the room and stare at the walls, striving desperately to figure
out what to do next, what to say, before she returned.

She seemed determined to ignore reason. Her fears were understandable, only she’d
taken the tiniest scrap of memory, followed it with some assumptions, and believed
the worst-case scenario as fact.

He got it—the wanting to move on. Accepting what you assumed to be true because the
alternative was to stay frozen in one place. But he’d learned the hard way, though,
that situations, even memories, weren’t always what they seemed.

Alisha had shared that Becki wanted to go back to Yellowstone. If she’d been cleared
to rejoin her rescue squad, he would have had to say good-bye. He would have, too.
Would have lied his fucking ass off and pretended he was pleased for her, and enthusiastically
sent her on her way.

He couldn’t be a part of her world—not at the high-risk level she was capable of.
Not with his arm, or the nightmares that still hovered. He might run a SAR, but he
wasn’t part of it.

And he loved her too much to hold her back.

Goddamn. It seemed he still had a heart after all. He’d given it away in spite of
trying not to.

He’d fallen for her. Hard.

At times like this, his mandate of
move decisively
battled with
be patient
. Becki had asked him years ago how to know which of those two rules to act on.

All he knew for sure was he didn’t want to lose her, and he didn’t want to cause her
any more pain. More than that, there were no easy answers, other than there was no
way he could allow her to take the next steps alone.

She stepped out of the bathroom, chin held high, her face much brighter, if only from
a vigorous scrubbing.

When you weren’t positive what to do, you started at the beginning and proceeded step
by step. He indicated the kitchen chairs behind them. “Come on. Let’s make a list.
Consider what needs to be done. There’s no time frame for you to move. The authorities
have waited for months. They can wait a couple more days if that’s what it takes for
you to be prepared. Understand?”

Becki nodded.

Before he could move, she was against him, hugging him tightly. “Marcus—thank you.”

The thought of losing her was going to break him in two. “Nothing to thank me for.
Come on.”

She stood tall, pulling her shoulders back, that strength he’d always admired being
dragged on like a protective coat. It made him admire her even more.

He found a pad of paper, then sat at the table. “Who do you need to contact in Yellowstone?”

Becki pulled out the chair beside him, staring into space before giving him names.
“If you give me the sat phone, I can call them.”

Marcus ignored her. “Who else?”

“David. I need to let him know. . . .” She cleared her throat. “You understand I won’t
be taking the position at Banff SAR now.”

Her fingers shook, and he reached out to squeeze them. “I think you should talk to
him before resigning, but let’s put it on the page for now.”

When she didn’t argue, he breathed a sigh of relief. As far as he was concerned, David
would be crazy to let her go, but he had to leave that decision up to his brother.
He’d go along with the façade of pretending to agree with her on that one so they
could keep talking. “What next? What are you thinking of doing for work, then?”

“Not sure.” She picked at a gouge in the tabletop. “Nothing in SAR, that’s for sure.
I’ll probably head home to the farm for a while. Doubt the media will want to make
the trek into rural Saskatchewan, and if they do, my dad’s got N
O
T
RESPASSING
signs posted far enough back that I can at least be useful doing chores until the
interest dies away.”

Dammit. Her willingness to give up and move on so quickly pissed him off. Maybe being
gentle wasn’t the way to go. Honest. He’d promised to be honest, and here was his
chance.

“You could do that. Or we could deal with the media, expect them to go away in a short
while, and if David doesn’t think your staying on at Banff SAR works, you can come
and work for me.”

Her sudden intake of breath and white face made him reach out to steady her, afraid
she was going to collapse to the floor.

Words snapped out of her like a whip. “Are you
nuts
?”

“No.”

“You
are
.” She leapt to her feet and paced away, dragging her hands through her hair before
twirling on him. “If I can’t work at the school, how could it possibly be a good idea
to join your team? No one will want me involved in rescues. No one will trust me.”

“You’re leaping to a lot of conclusions, but we’ll cross them as they arrive. Don’t
you want to work in the mountaineering world anymore?”

“Stop this.” She wrapped her arms around her. “Stop tormenting me with possibilities
that are no longer within my reach.”

It took everything he had not to rise and hold her again. But she needed to accept
what he was saying. Needed to believe him.

“Answer the damn question, Becki.”

“Yes,” she shouted, utter despair on her face. “Yes, I want to work in the mountains.
I want to climb and fly rescues. I want to experience the thrill and the adrenaline
rush. I want to make a difference, and I can’t. Don’t you see? I can’t do any of that
anymore because it’s—”

Her voice broke and her knees gave way. He was barely in time to catch her, holding
her with his body as he guided her to the couch.

Becki attempted to shake off his help, but he held on. “Stop fighting me,” he snapped.
“Listen. For one goddamn time in your life, listen first. If I have to tie you up
to make you stay put, I swear I will.”

He sat her down and knelt in front of her again, catching hold of her chin in his
fingers. Forcing her to look at him. She wasn’t seeing the big picture, so he’d push
her in the right direction until she came back to her senses. “This is not the end
of your career in the mountains, and you’re being ridiculous if you think it is. Yes,
some people will avoid you. Yes, some people will say cruel and cutting things. Fuck
them. Fuck them all.”

Misery still stared back, but at least she was listening.

“Wouldn’t that be your comment if years ago someone had said you couldn’t be on a
squad because you were a woman? If you overheard someone taunting that there was no
way a petite woman like Alisha could possibly be lead hand on an elite SAR team? You’ve
always done what you’ve thought was right. You’ve let your actions show what you’re
capable of—let your skills prove that you’re competent and strong. Since when have
you cared what other people think when what
you
know—”

She held up a hand to interrupt, head shaking slightly as she blinked back tears.
“But Marcus . . . what I
know
is I did it. That’s what’s killing me. That’s what makes it impossible to join a
team. Because when someone doubted me before, yeah, I did toss their opinion out the
window. I knew I was qualified. Now? If someone looks at me and doubts? I can’t throw
it off. I can’t say
fuck them
because . . . they could be right.”

Her words had dropped to a whisper, but she kept going. Maintained eye contact as
if willing him to understand.

Even in the middle of her confusion and sadness, she had no idea how strong she was.
Something inside Marcus turned and settled. She would get past this, and he’d do anything
to make sure she got that chance.

“Then take a hiatus until you feel you’re back to speed. Train. Work in positions
that build that trust again. I’m willing to take you on, Becki. I know it’s not as
glamorous a position, working the call centre, but your skills would be useful there.
Don’t give it all up when you don’t have to.”

* * *

Becki forced herself to look away and stare at the wall behind his shoulder, slowing
her breathing. What he’d suggested made her ache—she wanted it so badly, but it wouldn’t
be right.

How could she deliberately allow her now-tarnished reputation to destroy what he’d
worked so hard to build? She wouldn’t dream of causing trouble to even a casual co-worker,
let alone a compatriot she respected.

She definitely couldn’t do it to the man she loved.

“I don’t want to leave, but I can’t stay. I can’t ask you and Lifeline to make that
kind of sacrifice for me.”

Marcus caught her hand. “You’ve trusted me over the past couple of weeks. You put
yourself into my hands on the wall and in my bed. Has that stopped? Do you not think
you can depend on me anymore?”

Another shock raced through her as she shook her head in denial. “I trust you, but
I don’t see how that matters. My having faith in you doesn’t change the facts.”

“It matters because I don’t think you need to leave, and if you trust me, you’ll let
me find a way to help you get through this temporary situation.”

She collapsed into the cushions a little harder. It was useless. He wasn’t giving
up the fight, and she couldn’t understand why he was being so stubborn. “And here’s
where we go back to fighting, because I doubt what I’ve got is a short-term issue.”

“You’re blinded by emotion right now. The situation will change. Don’t leave me when
a little time—”

He snapped to a stop.

The buzzing in her ears made her doubt she’d heard him correctly, but his shocked
expression was a dead giveaway. Was that why he’d come away with her in the first
place—the reason he’d refused to share? Was it possible he’d actually come to care
for her as well?

“Marcus?”

He took a deep breath as he lifted her knuckles to his lips. “Don’t leave
me
.”

Her throat tightened and her heart raced, this time with a strange mixture of hope
and lingering sadness. “I don’t want to leave, either,” she confessed.

“Then don’t.” He made it sound so simple. “I want you around. I want you in my house,
and down at the gym, shouting at me to train harder. I want you working with my team,
however you and they feel comfortable, because I’m one hundred percent sure there’s
a place for you.”

Having a total change in her circumstances seemed impossible. Becki stared at his
eyes. Anchoring herself in what she saw there. It was the best of both worlds, if
she was willing to take the chance.

Loud ringing tore them both from the moment, the metallic sound echoing strangely
in the rustic setting.

“Sat phone.” He rushed to the case that held it, snapped open the lid, and pulled
it free. He lifted it to his ear.

“Marcus Landers.” He frowned, and her stomach fell.

She wasn’t ready to deal with a reporter yet. Becki wished she could crawl back into
bed and hide for a while. The only thing keeping her from running in terror was the
knowledge that Marcus wouldn’t force her to handle this alone.

But he wasn’t slamming down the receiver, either, which was what she’d have expected
if it were something she could ignore. She stepped closer, a familiar masculine voice
carrying over the line.

There was another short burst of words. Even at a distance she heard the fear. Marcus
responded soothingly. “Hang on. She’s right here. You’re going to be fine. Just talk
to Becki, and we’ll come as quick as we can.”

Marcus held out the phone. “It’s your brother. He’s in trouble.”

CHAPTER
33

Her brother?

Becki snatched the phone from Marcus. “Colin?”

A slight static buzz echoed over the line. “Bec. I need help. I called Mr. Landers
from the school and he put me through to you. He’s sending a team to pick you up.
We’re trapped, and Rob’s hurt.”

Confusion rushed her. Last she’d heard, her brother was back home in Saskatchewan.
“Where are you? Why are you calling me?”

“It was a surprise—I’m coming to SAR school this summer. My buddy and I figured we’d
get in a climb before we have to settle in. It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, just
a lark, but it’s socked in so hard I can’t see a thing. Rob slipped and fell—I think
his leg is broken.”

The confusion was still there, but Becki pulled herself back into routine. Somewhere
in the background Marcus was moving, but all her focus was on the phone call and what
they needed here and now. “Colin, I need you to give me short answers. Are you hurt?”

“No. Rob is.”

“Where are you?” How he’d tracked her down didn’t matter at this point.

“In the Needles. I told Mr. Landers that, and I gave him our GPS location. You brought
me here, remember? The summer after you graduated?”

Oh God. That area was fabulous on a clear day, a hellish maze when the weather turned.
Becki swallowed her fears, strode to the door, and jerked it open. Here in the cabin
they were above the clouds, the peaks opposite them clearly visible, but everything
below them was shrouded in thick cloud cover. It must have crept in over the past
hour.

“Is Rob okay?”

“I made him as comfortable as I can, but I don’t want to move him too much. We’re
on a narrow lip, Bec. He was heading out on second lead and slipped before he set
his first anchor.”

“Enough. Is your platform solid?”

He hesitated, and her heart tightened. “I think so.”

If David was sending the chopper, the soonest it could arrive at the cabin was thirty
minutes. Adding travel time to the drop site, and hiking in? “Colin, you’ve got at
least a two-hour wait for us to come get you.”

She didn’t even mention the trouble they might have finding the boys. In the distance
the wind stirred the clouds like some witches’ brew and she shivered, terror creeping
up her spine.

“We’ll wait. Anything else I should do?”

Becki wanted to tell him something to reassure him, but she was losing control. Standard
rescue responses—those she could do. Thinking this was her kid brother buried in the
fog on the side of a mountain? That was enough to make her nauseated.

Focus on facts. “Set a couple of anchors. Rope both you and Rob up tight.”

“I can try to lower him—”

“No,” she shouted.
Oh my God, no.
She forced herself to dial her panic down a notch. “Don’t try to climb up or down,
just tie yourself to the rock right where you are. Got it?”

“Okay.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise. Becki? Thank you.” All his usual cocky arrogance had vanished.

Sheer panic loomed, but she didn’t let any of it sound in her voice. “You’re so much
trouble, brat. Now give me your number, then stay off the line. We’ll call you when
we get close enough that you can guide us in.”

She hung up the phone and twirled to face Marcus. “How much did you catch?”

“Your brother is lost somewhere in the Palliser Range and David’s contacted my team.
They’re on their way here.”

Becki swallowed hard. “Erin won’t be able to fly them directly to the site, not with
these conditions. How well does the squad know the Needles?”

“Shit.” He obviously knew the issues with the area, as his face tightened with concern.
“Some. Not that well.”

Family rescuing family was a recipe for disaster at the best of times, and this was
far from an ideal situation. “Then I’m going to have to lead them in.”

* * *

The minute the phone had gone off, Marcus had snapped into prepared mode. No one that
keen to get in touch with them could possibly have a good reason. Out of all the possible
people who could have phoned, though, her brother wasn’t even on the radar. Now they
had a situation going from bad to worse fast.

Because she was right. If she knew the climbing area, she had to go along—a guide
would get his team there as quickly as possible. They could do the rescue without
her, but if one of the climbers was hurt, time counted.

He stopped her for a moment, though, hand resting on her shoulder. “You can do this.
I know you can.”

Her face was still far paler than it should be, but she nodded. “I have no choice.”

“Get dressed. I’ll contact the team and check their ETA. Did you bring your harness?”

“Full gear. We were going to train, remember?” Becki glanced out the window, and her
entire body quaked. “What if . . .”

“No ‘what if.’ You will do this. You are capable,” Marcus insisted.

She shook her head. “I don’t care if I get sick in the chopper. What if I freeze,
though? What if I black out and end up doing something that endangers my brother,
or your team?” Becki caught him by the arms, her fingers going white as she clutched
him tight. “Please. Come with me. I . . . I need you.”

As if he had ever intended to do anything else. Marcus dragged her against him and
hugged her tightly. “I’ll be there.”

They met for a brief, desperate kiss before splitting apart and heading into their
separate preparations. Marcus pulled on his prosthesis, going for the claw end—chances
were the first thing they’d be doing would be going down, not up.

Fifteen minutes and he was dressed, call through to his team.

Erin answered. “Roger base. You ready for a splash and dash?”

“As ready as we can be. Who’s on board?”

“Nearly full crew. We’re missing Tripp.”

Winch and paramedic, though, two less things to worry about. “What’s the airspace
look like on the satellite?”

“Choices are a kilometer up or three more on level. We’ll do a flyby, but that’s my
best guess.”

Becki was back at his side, pulling her coat over her long-sleeved shirt. Marcus flipped
the phone to speaker. “Becki and I are on the line—we’ll wait for pickup and discuss
the rest on approach. Any questions right now?”

“It’s Devon. No questions, but hey, Becki? It’ll be okay. I met your bro a couple
of nights ago. He’s a great kid. Good head on his shoulders. We’ll get him out.”

She had her fingers over her mouth, nodding slowly as she pulled them away. “Thanks
for that. Over and out.”

The radio went silent and she blinked hard, reaching for her pack that lay on the
floor. Silently, as a team they gathered the rest of their things from the truck before
walking a few meters down the road to the clearing in the trees. They turned to face
the mountains.

He grabbed her hand with his. She didn’t change her focus, but she held on, wrapping
her fingers around his tightly.

“Give me the rundown,” Becki breathed out slowly. “I’ll have to lead on the ground
once we hit the maze, but keep your team consistent until then.”

“I’m along for the ride. I won’t be in charge. Anders calls the shots in the bay.”
A faint rumble in the air warned that the chopper was approaching. “We’ll see who’s
calling ground when we crawl in. Tripp usually does, and since he’s not there, it’s
a potshot. They’re all qualified.”

“They’re the best,” she stated firmly.

“They are, and so are you.”

She nodded, concentration focused forward.

Time slipped into that eerie blend between going far too quick and far too slow that
was so common during a rescue.

The chopper was down, wind batting them as they ran with heads lowered across the
field to the door. Hands reached to pull them in, Becki first, Marcus caught up behind.
Both of them settled into the nearest seats. They hadn’t even buckled in before Erin
lifted off.

Becki fought with the top snap, all her concentration on the webbing. Ignoring the
air passing the windows as the helicopter tilted, Erin pivoted tight to head over
the Kananaskis Range into the second ridge of mountains and their destination.

Marcus checked his team. Alert faces stared back, waiting in expectation. He tugged
on his headset, then paused until Becki had done the same.

“Good job. Ready for this?”

Four heads nodded. Becki’s jaw was locked firmly shut as she stared at the floor.
He ignored her for the moment. Everyone’s coping strategies were different, and he
wasn’t about to tell her to try something new. Not when she was clinging to her control.

Devon clicked on. “Erin said she’d fly by the Needles, but with the cloud cover, chances
are we’ll be coming in from the north or the east. I vote for the north—it’s a shorter
land approach, only it calls for a long rappel to the trails. Becki, any idea where
in the maze they might be?”

“If they went to where I brought Colin before, yes. About twenty minutes from the
entrance to the canyon. Three short climbs—none more technical than a 5.7—will get
us to the main wall.”

“We can do those in our sleep,” Xavier offered. “I want to know which way we’re coming
out. Any way to send someone on a climb and get a drop line from Erin to avoid the
long haul with a stretcher?”

Becki shook her head, then squeezed her eyes shut as the chopper wiggled in the changing
air currents. Marcus held his breath for her, but she managed to pull herself back
under control. “In and out, the only possibility unless the clouds clear.”

Marcus cut in. “Colin’s got a phone. We can call him as we get into the canyon to
get him making noise. He’ll have a whistle or something, right, Becki?”

“If he doesn’t, I’m going to kick his ass once we find it.”

Grins appeared around him, tension settling into that peak range for an operation.
Too much adrenaline and things went to hell fast. It was impossible to maintain a
high for hours, especially when they needed to do the actual grunt work to get in
and out.

Marcus checked his team one by one as the buzz over the headset went back to random
discussion, just keeping loose as they moved closer to the drop point. He saved Becki
for the last, even though he was completely aware of her the entire time.

She was staring past him wearing a do-or-die expression. Her lips moved, only he missed
the words. He switched to channel two and her voice cut in.

“. . . trust your team. Give one hundred percent. Be patient until it’s time to move,
then move decisively. Trust your team. . . .”

She was repeating it like a mantra.

He nodded and flipped his speaker on. “One hundred percent. Give it all you’ve got
and even a little more.”

Her focus changed off the wall and onto his face, and a tentative smile appeared.
Her expression was still serious, still scared, but there was something extra she
gave just for him. “Thank you. For everything.”

They were surrounded by his team, dropping toward a rescue, and all he could think
about was her. “Together. We’ll do it together.”

What he wanted to say was he never intended to let her go.