Hidden in the Heart (38 page)
Read Hidden in the Heart Online
Authors: Catherine West
“You have bags?” Rick gave a dramatic groan and pressed the back of his hand to his forehead. “I’ll get the forklift.”
“Shut up.” Claire gave Rick a push as he left the room chuckling. She sighed and met Michelle’s eyes. “You seem very happy.”
“We are.” A faint blush crept into her cheeks and a smile stretched her lips. Claire nodded. This was how it should be.
How it should have been.
She fiddled with the rings on her fingers and cast a glance around the room. Beyond the kitchen on the other side of the hall was Jessie’s sewing room. “Can we talk?”
They crossed the hall and Michelle sat on one of the rocking chairs. She pulled one of Jessie’s brightly colored Afghans to her chest. Claire wandered around the room and tried to organize her thoughts. It was hard to know where to begin. Or how.
Finally she turned and met the eyes she’d longed to see again for weeks, and smiled. “You know, when I was growing up, I had this fantasy of what you would look like. Every time I looked in the mirror I wondered…did I look like you? Sometimes, before I fell asleep
at night, I’d think about where I came from. I always felt guilty about it though. I felt like I was betraying my parents by wanting to know…it was hard to get beyond that.” She lowered herself into the rocker opposite Michelle’s.
“But even now, despite everything, I don’t regret it. I’m glad I found the truth. I’m glad I found you.” The confession hung in the air and Claire tried to gage Michelle’s reaction.
“I know that you didn’t want me to find you, but I think in some way I was supposed to. I still don’t understand it all, but I know everything happens for a reason. I think we were all part of a bigger plan. Bigger than any of us could imagine.”
“Yes,” Michelle dabbed at her eyes with a tissue and gave Claire a smile. “I think you’re right. We all needed healing, Claire. If you hadn’t come here, hadn’t looked for me…well, I’d probably be making another mistake of graphic proportions right about now.”
Claire grinned, the somber mood lifting. “You weren’t really going to marry that stuffed suit, were you? Rick said he was awful.” She regretted the words as soon as they were out, but Michelle only laughed.
“Oh, he was. But I didn’t think I deserved any better.”
“You were wrong.”
“Yes.” Her eyes lit up as she smiled, and Claire saw just how much the last few months had changed her.
“Well.” Claire blinked and looked away for a moment. “All that to say…I…I don’t have the right to blame you for anything you did, Michelle. None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. You certainly didn’t have to tell me the whole story. You and my Dad could have kept it to yourselves. But it really doesn’t matter anymore.” Claire nodded, the words striking a chord deep within.
It
didn’t
matter.
“When I started this search, I was curious, but afterward…once I knew who you were, it became more than that. I felt like I was getting a second chance, getting to know the family I might have had. And I wanted you to be a part of that. We all did.”
“I was scared,” Michelle whispered. “But I never meant to hurt you like I did. I was just terrified to face my past, face what I’d done. I didn’t want you to hate me.”
Claire shook her head, bewildered. “I don’t hate you. How could I? You gave me life.”
“I’m so sorry, Claire. For everything.”
Claire moved to crouch before her, taking her hands in hers. Michelle’s eyes flew wide but Claire smiled. “I know you are. But, what I’m trying to say, probably not very well, is that I forgive you. And, if you’re still interested, I’d like very much for us to get to know each other.”
Michelle placed her hands around Claire’s face. She shook her head, wonder and tears shining in her eyes as she smiled. She moved a little closer and kissed the top of Claire’s head. “Since you’ve come back into my life, I’ve been given a second chance—with my parents, Darcie, Rick, and with you—I never believed that was possible, but…here we are.”
“Here we are.”
They stood together and Michelle took Claire’s hands in hers. “Can we start over, Claire?”
Claire’s heart was full as she smiled and gave Michelle’s hands a squeeze. “I’d like that. Do you want to go first?”
“Okay.” Michelle’s face shone with the light of restoration as she held Claire’s hands tight and tipped her head toward her, her smile wide and filled with promise. “Hi. I’m Michelle—your birth mother. It’s nice to meet you.”
Claire held her gaze and savored the moment. “Hi. I’m Claire. And I’ve wanted to
meet you for a very long time.” A new sensation tugged at her heart. A feeling that went far beyond initial curiosity and hinted at the chance of a real relationship. Claire drew Michelle into a hug, and embraced it.
When she stepped back, her eyes came to rest on the locket she’d noticed around Michelle’s neck the minute she’d turned to face her in the kitchen. Claire smiled at the sudden hesitation in Michelle’s eyes and pointed to it. “I think you have something that belongs to me.”
Michelle gave a soft laugh and reached behind her neck. She undid the clasp and held the chain in her hands. “May I?”
Claire turned and lifted her hair, waiting while Michelle fastened the necklace. When she could face her again, she swiveled, her hands reaching for the charm that now meant so much more.
Michelle smiled, unshed tears standing in her eyes. “To new beginnings, Claire?”
Claire nodded, peace and joy like no other flooding through her. “To new beginnings.”
The End
Thank You!
To my parents for their love and unwavering support over the years—we were indeed a match made in Heaven. My mother instilled in me a love of reading, a love of words that grew into a desire to write stories. I only wish she were here today to read them.
~
As always, thanks to my beloved husband Stephen, for his unconditional love, patience and encouragement. I love you.
Huge thanks to my wonderful children, Sarah & Randy and Christopher, for being there every step of the way, and believing in me. You make me so proud. I could not do this without you.
~
To my best friend in the world, Lee Anne. For all the phone calls, advice, many tears and a whole lot of laughter in between. Thank you for traveling this road with me. This one’s for you.
A Note From Catherine:
Dear Reader,
I hope you have enjoyed
Hidden in the Heart
. For me, this is a very personal story on many levels. While it is not exactly
my
story per se, Claire’s journey is loosely based on my own experiences.
When I was about two or three, perhaps younger, my parents read me a story. It was called
The Chosen Baby
. They explained to me then how I was special, I was chosen. I learned what it meant to be adopted. God had made us a family. While all that remains true, it was only later, as an adult, that I came to know and understand all the complex dynamics and emotions that go hand in hand with being adopted.
Making the decision to search for my birth family was very difficult, and not one I undertook lightly. I had no idea what doors I was opening, and who, if anyone, would open them. My search was not hard in terms of the time it took, but it was emotionally draining and definitely took a toll on my family and myself at various stages of my journey.
Fortunately, I can say I have no regrets. God blessed me greatly with new people to call family, new relationships to foster, and He gave me all the answers I needed. There are still things that did not turn out the way I hoped. But everything happens for a reason, and I believe I have all I need now.
If you are an adoptee with a desire to search, please make your decision very carefully. If you do however decide to proceed, there are many resources available to you. Here are just a few I recommend:
Books:
Gathering The Missing Pieces In An Adopted Life – Kay Moore – (Hannibal Books, January 2009).
Lost & Found – The Adoption Experience – Betty Jean Lifton – (Harper Perennial, March 22, 1988).
Journey of the Adopted Self – The Quest for Wholeness – Betty Jean Lifton – (Basic Books, May 6, 1995)
Internet:
International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR) http://www.isrr.net/about.shtml
http://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/
Adoptees Christian Fellowship – Jody Moreen –
[email protected]
May God Bless you on your journey!
Catherine
Also by Catherine West…
Vietnam, 1967.
Independent, career-driven journalist Kristin Taylor wants two things: to honor her father's memory by becoming an award-winning overseas correspondent and to keep tabs on her only brother, Teddy, who signed up for the war against their mother's wishes. Brilliant photographer Luke Maddox, silent and brooding, exudes mystery. Kristin is convinced he's hiding something.
Willing to risk it all for what they believe in, Kristin and Luke engage in their own tumultuous battle until, in an unexpected twist, they’re forced to work together. Ambushed by love, they must decide whether or not to set aside their own private agendas for the hope of tomorrow that has captured their hearts.
Praise for
Yesterday’s Tomorrow
–
Brace yourself for a heart-thudding love story amid the raw and real backdrop of Vietnam during one of the most turbulent times in American history. Without question, this is a novel that will woo and win you heart and soul, written by a gifted storyteller who will do the same.
—JULIE LESSMAN, award-winning author of
The Daughters of Boston
and
Heart of San Francisco
series
This compelling love story, set against the backdrop of the Vietnam War, transported me through recent history. Cathy West’s debut novel is beautifully crafted and thoroughly engaging! ––DEBORAH RANEY, best-selling author of the
Clayburn Novels
and
Almost Forever
A beautifully told story, crisp and accurate in its detail, filled with emotion and deftly
handled by a writer who understands the hope of prayers asked and the beauty of prayers answered, Yesterday's Tomorrow is a story to savor.—LISA WINGATE, national bestselling author of Larkspur Cove and Dandelion Summer.
I do not exaggerate when I say Cathy West writes an unforgettable and powerful novel with
Yesterday’s Tomorrow
. I read the book several years ago and some scenes remain vividly etched in my mind. West is one of my favorite authors because she writes real, she writes raw, and she does it with a mastery of prose that woos readers.—BETH K. VOGT, author of
Somebody Like You
(PW starred review)
About the Author
Catherine West is an award-winning author who writes stories of hope and healing from her island home in Bermuda.
Yesterday’s Tomorrow
won the INSPY for Romance in 2011, a Silver Medal in the Reader’s Favorite Awards, and was a finalist in the Grace Awards. Catherine’s second novel,
Hidden in the Heart
, was long listed in the 2012 INSPY’s and was a finalist in the 2013 Grace Awards.
When she’s not at the computer working on her next story, you can find her taking her Border Collie for long walks or tending to her roses and orchids. She and her husband have two grown children. Catherine is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and Romance Writers of America, and is represented by Rachelle Gardner of Books & Such Literary Management. Catherine loves to connect with her readers and can be reached at
[email protected]
Catherine’s Website –
http://www.catherinejwest.com