Hickville Confessions: A Hickville High Novel (26 page)

Justin couldn’t wait to see Ryan walk through the door to Shop class. One day without seeing her was just too much. At least he’d talked to her last night. Things were finally normal. They were an ordinary dating couple without all the extraneous bullshit.

But by the time the bell rang, she hadn’t made it to class. He started to text her but Mr. Hesby had already started taking roll.

After class, Eric Perez waited for him in the breezeway between the shop and the main building. He hadn’t spoken to Eric since Homecoming and he sure as hell didn’t want to now. But Eric, jerk that he was, blocked his way. “Dude, you need to get control of your girlfriend.”

“Go suck yourself, Perez.” Justin tried to move past him, but Eric grabbed his shoulder. “Take your hands off me.”

“I don’t know what kind of power trip your girlfriend is on, but she’s caused a shitload of trouble for me.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“That little confession of hers. Brittney is talking about pressing charges against me. But I didn’t do shit that she didn’t want.”

Justin had no effing clue what Eric was talking about, but he wasn’t going to let him know that. He knocked Eric’s arm off his shoulder. “Like you didn’t do shit that my sister didn’t want.”

“Once we started, she begged me for it.”

A month ago, he would have punched Eric. He sure as hell deserved it. But he wasn’t worth getting sent to alternative school. He moved around Eric and headed into the building. He waited for Eric to come after him, but he didn’t.

He’d almost made it to his locker when Travis stopped him. “Have you heard from Ryan yet?”

“No. I was about to text her.”

“Let me know how she is.”

“Sure.”
WTF?
“Hey, Travis? What happened at the assembly yesterday?”

“It was intense. Ryan told her story.”

Her story?
“About the fountain?”

“No. What happened to her in Chicago.”

What the hell happened to her in Chicago?
“Yeah?”

“Rape. That’s some heavy shit.”

Justin felt the blood drain from his face. “Yeah. I’d better get to class.”

She told the whole school but she couldn’t tell me?

He focused on his steps as he made his way to her locker. He saw the words on it as soon as he turned the corner.
Die Slut.
He sprinted to her locker. Why didn’t anybody care? People walked past it like it was no big deal. He rubbed his hand across the words, smearing the lipstick. His heartbeat thudded in his head.

He would
not
let his brain go into lockdown. He had to think. This was about her, not him. Yesterday she’d told the school she’d been raped and today she was absent. That was not good. He needed to see her. He needed to know she was all right.

Justin: Are you okay?

By the time he reached his next class, she hadn’t answered. He thought about ditching school, but he was already close to having too many absences to play football. Ditching would get him suspended for sure.

After second period, Austin stopped him in the hall. “Heard anything from Ryan yet?”

Justin shook his head.
What the hell is going on?
Obviously everybody thought he knew. He should ask, but pride wouldn’t let him. She was his girlfriend. He should know what was going on.

Then it hit him.

Maybe she didn’t want to be his girlfriend anymore. It made sense. She’d been vague about the assembly. He thought their conversation was just normal guy-girl talk, but looking back, she’d sounded distant. That was it. She didn’t want to be with him and couldn’t tell him.

Panic rose in his chest. He couldn’t imagine losing her, but he didn’t want her to feel obligated to be with him. Shit, he needed to see her. He had to talk to her. If she didn’t want to be with him he had to let her go.

He looked at his watch. By the time football practice was over it’d be after five. That seemed a long way off.

*

Ryan had almost texted Justin about her surgery a dozen times. She just couldn’t tell him in a text. Besides, this was a simple one. She’d go home later in the day. But her nerves were still on edge. Things happened—even with simple surgeries. Didn’t they say that the closest you could get to death was during anesthesia? And, she had to resolve this thing with Mackenzie before she went under.

She looked at her family standing around her bed. It wouldn’t be long before she was whisked behind those double doors. She had to talk to her.

“Hey, could everybody step out for a few minutes? I want to talk to Mackenzie, alone.”

Her mom raised her brows. “Oh… okay.” She turned to Kelsey. “Let’s give them some privacy.”

When they’d cleared out, she stared at Mackenzie and tried to decide what she was going to say. “Hey.” She reached out and Kenzie took her hand. “I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I feel.”

Mackenzie bowed her head and let her hair fall forward, covering most of her face. “I’m sorry.”

Ryan squeezed her hand. “Don’t be. Okay, so I wish you hadn’t said anything to Macey. But you are not responsible for what those girls did to me—not even a little bit. Macey is unhinged.”

Mackenzie bit her lip. “I was so angry. I felt like my whole reason for existing had been snatched away from me.”

“I know. And it was my fault. As much as Mom and Dad wanted us to believe it wasn’t and as much as I tried to deny it, it was my fault. I can’t take back everything that’s happened. I can’t undo those things I did. I wish I could. I wish I could forget the person I was even existed. I hope you’ll be able to forgive me for ruining your life.”

Mackenzie leaned down and hugged Ryan. She whispered in her ear, “You didn’t ruin my life. I think you saved it.”

The nurse came in then, followed by the rest of the Quinn family. “Okay, Ryan, I’m going to give you something to help you relax. It’s going to make you very thirsty and a little loopy. It’s time to go back.” She turned to Ryan’s mom. “You and Dad can follow us to the double doors.”

*

It was nearly three before Ryan got to come home. She was still groggy from the anesthesia and her mouth had begun to hurt. Dr. Cooper warned her that her face would be swollen for a few days, but she was still disappointed when she looked in the mirror.

Her mom set her up on the sofa with pillows, water, and the remote. She brought her the pain pill the doctor had ordered, but Ryan hesitated. “My mouth isn’t hurting that bad.”

“Yet. Dr. Cooper said to stay ahead of the pain for the first twenty-four hours.”

She swallowed the pill and hoped she’d stay awake long enough to call Justin. She’d texted him several times, but he hadn’t answered her. He’d have a break between school and football practice, so she planned to call him then—if she could stay awake. She tried to form in her mind how she was going to explain everything, but her thoughts were too groggy to be coherent.

She clicked on the TV just as her mom brought her an ice pack for her mouth. “Time for your ice pack. I’ll set the timer. Leave it on until you hear the timer go off. I’m going to check on the chickens.”

The ice felt good on her face. She nestled into the pillow and let the ice and pain medicine do their job.

It was after five when she woke. She hadn’t heard the timer, but someone had removed the ice from her face. She grabbed her cell from the end table to find that Justin had texted five times and called twice.

She called him back, but he didn’t answer.
Crap.
How could she have slept through this call? “Mom?”

Her mom poked her head into the den from the kitchen. “Do you need something?”

“Yeah.” Her mom hovered over the back of the sofa. “Will you wake me if my phone rings? I missed Justin’s call.”

She nodded. “Do you want me to keep your phone with me?”

“No.” All she needed was for her mom to see her texts. “Just listen for it.”

“I’ll try.”

She flipped the channel to a rerun of
The Big Bang Theory
and tried to stay awake. But she couldn’t fight the effects of the meds and leftover anesthesia. She was going to miss his call again.

“Ryan.” His beautiful voice was calling to her. She opened her eyes. He sat on the coffee table across from her.

“You came.” She tried to smile and instantly regretted it. Pain shot through her mouth and up her right cheek.

Her mom appeared next to Justin. “Are you hurting?” She nodded. “It’s time for another pain pill—and how about some ice?”

“Yeah. I could use something for pain.” She struggled to sit up.

Justin helped her. “You don’t have to sit up for me.”

“I want to. I need to be awake. Sit next to me?”

He scooted over to the sofa. “I hope you don’t mind me coming.”

Oh right, she hadn’t told him she was having surgery. “I’m glad you’re here.” She leaned on his shoulder and wished he’d put his arm around her. She felt his muscles stiffen and sat up straight.

He studied his hands. “Everybody at school kept asking me if I’d heard anything. I had no freaking idea what they were talking about. I didn’t want anybody to know because—well, you’re supposed to know things about your girlfriend. My dad left a message that your mom had asked him to call and tell me you were out of surgery. It seems I was the last to know.”

Ryan’s heart hurt. She was an idiot. “I’m sorry. I wanted to. It just never seemed like the right time. Either you were having such a good day I didn’t want to ruin it, or you had so much stress I didn’t want to add to it.”

“I don’t need to be protected.” He took her hand and sandwiched it between both of his. He flashed those double dimples at her, but his eyes were sad. “Everything that’s happened between us has been a little crazy. I don’t want you to feel you can’t tell me things because you’re worried about ruining my day. Being with you makes the most screwed-up day better. “

Between the pain meds and the leftover anesthesia, her emotions were on edge. Her heart raced and she tried to blink the fog from her brain. A couple of tears spilled down her cheeks.

He put his arm around her and pulled her to him. “Shhh. It’s okay. Shh. Don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“I need you, Justin. It scares me how much I need you.”

“I need you, too. Please trust me that you don’t have to protect me from things in your life.”

She nodded. “I promise.”

Her mom handed her an ice pack and a pain pill with a glass of juice.

“Thanks, Mom.”

Then she turned to Justin. “Have you had dinner?”

“No ma’am.”

“We’re ordering pizza. What do you like?”

He looked at Ryan. “What do you like?”

“Don’t ask me. I have to eat Jell-O and soup.”

To her mom he said, “Anything is fine.”

“Okay.” She retreated to the kitchen.

Justin looked at her. “Are you comfortable?”

She moved the ice. “I think I need to lie down.”

He scooted back to the coffee table and helped her onto her pillow. Her sisters blew in the front door and Kelsey pulled her jacket off. “It’s freezing out there. What the heck—it’s only September.”

Mackenzie pulled off her jacket too. “It’s not that bad. You’ve gotten soft since we left Chicago.”

Kelsey shook her head. “I can’t deny it. I love the warm weather. The hotter the better.”

“I love it here too.” Mackenzie looked at Ryan. “How are you doing?”

Ryan gave her a thumbs-up. She knew Kenzie’s statement had been meant for her. It was good to see Mackenzie smile. She hoped her little sister would find her way out of the shyness that seemed at times to paralyze her.

She looked at Justin. They needed to talk more. He needed to know about the assembly. But that would have to come later. “You don’t have to sit there and stare at me.”

“I like sitting here staring at you.”

“I have a better idea.” She sat in the middle of the sofa and pointed to the end. “If you sit here, I can put my head in your lap.”

“Okay.” He moved to the spot she’d indicated and she put her pillow in his lap and lay down. “Better?”

“Much.” She tried to watch TV, but her eyes grew heavy. But it was okay. She felt Justin stroking her hair as she drifted in and out of sleep. He joked with her family and she smelled pizza. When he laughed, she felt the vibrations. She wondered if she was smiling on the outside as much as she was on the inside. She was just where she wanted to be.

The luckiest girl on the planet.

Ryan studied her face in the mirror. It had been two weeks since the surgery, and her lip looked perfect. She smoothed her palm across her cheeks. The scars had almost completely healed. Dr. Cooper had said that time would tell if she was going to have permanent scars, but right now, what was left was covered easily with makeup.

She hesitated before spreading foundation across her skin. Battle scars. She felt like she’d gone to battle. The nasty words still appeared on her locker. Nobody could figure out who was doing it. But it was so commonplace now that nobody really noticed. She’d heard that the PC girls were going to be allowed to return to school next semester. Part of her dreaded seeing them. The other part of her didn’t care. She was a different person now and maybe they were too.

She finished putting on her makeup and fluffed her hair. It was growing out too. New face, new hair, new girl. She smiled and applied lipstick to her perfect lips.

As she walked downstairs, she heard Justin joking with Austin, Travis, and her dad, so she stopped halfway down and listened. It warmed her heart to hear her boyfriend, who had become a fixture around the house.

When she stepped off the last stair, Justin stood. “You look pretty.”

“Thanks.”

When they were in his truck, she took a deep breath. Tonight was the night she was going to talk about what had happened. It had been the elephant in the room that neither of them had mentioned. But it was time.

“So I’m sure you’ve heard about my speech at the assembly…”

He nodded.

“You’ve never asked me about it.”

“I figured that when you were ready, you’d talk about it.”

“I’m ready.”

“Okay. Do you want to go somewhere?”

She shook her head. “Not really.” He drove to the movie theater while she told her story. She didn’t know what to expect, but it was weird—as if she were telling what had happened to someone else. She couldn’t imagine the girl who had been broken. That girl was still a part of her—she always would be. But Ryan was so much stronger now. When she finished, she gazed at Justin.

He shook his head. “I’m sorry that happened to you. It makes me want to beat the crap out of that guy.”

She nodded. “Me too.” She took a breath. “Does it freak you out to date me?”

His gaze didn’t falter. “No. The only thing that freaks me out is how much I love you.”

It was an ordinary date. A movie—complete with popcorn, soda, and hand-holding. It was perfect. Afterward, Justin drove to the trestle. She expected a crowd to be there partying, but they had the place to themselves even though it was a warm evening for early October. They got out of the truck and walked to a grassy area surrounded by a grove of trees. He spread a blanket on the ground and they sat.

They both lay back and looked at the stars—for about an instant before he turned to face her and they kissed. As soon as his mouth touched hers, she caught fire. He ran his hands up and down her back and she snuggled against him.

He broke the kiss and looked into her eyes. She could see the same fire in his eyes that she felt. “Ryan, we’ll only do what you’re ready for.”

She kissed him. “Here under the stars with nobody around but the guy I love? This is the perfect place.”

He smoothed her hair from her face. “Are you sure?”

“Very.”

“If you change your mind, I’ll stop.”

“I won’t.”

He kissed her again and his hands found their way under her shirt.

Headlights illuminated the bridge. “Shit.” He pulled away from her and they both sat up. They watched as a couple got out of an SUV, leaving the headlights shining on the bridge.

Ryan squinted. “That’s Mackenzie and Braden.”

The couple couldn’t see them from where they stood, but they could hear them talking as they walked to the bridge.

Braden said, “This is where it happened. It’s far enough down to kill someone.”

Mackenzie stood next to him and looked over the rail. “Maybe. But I’m telling you, my dad didn’t do it.”

“Somebody killed Cassidy Jones. Your dad was the logical one.”

Kenzie gave Braden a shove. “Shut up. Just shut up.” She ran to the SUV. “Let’s get out of here.”

THE END