Hexed (The Gwen Sparks Series Book 4) (31 page)

“WHERE IS SHE?” I asked as soon as I landed on Aiden’s foyer floor. Standing, I searched the space for Gwen. “Where the fuck is she?” Panicked, I stepped in the opening of the living room and scanned the area. It was empty. God, I’d told her that I didn’t love her, made her believe it had all been a lie, and now she would never know the truth.

“Calm down,” Fiona said. “She’s fine.”

I paused and looked down at her. “She is?”

Fiona nodded, but the look of unease on her face put me on alert. “Where is she?”

“Before I answer that, think back to that day. What do you remember?”

“Just tell me where she is, Fiona.”

She shook her head. “In order for you to understand, you need to remember.”

Annoyed, I did as she asked and brought up that day in my memory. It was weird because I had two memories of that day, the first one where Gwen was attacked in her shop and a new one where Gwen had her throat slit in the alley. I’d been there with her, gotten to her in time. Like before, Eddie had alerted me.

Using my power to jump to anywhere I wanted, I transported her to…Aiden’s. What the hell?

I knew the hospital wouldn’t be able to fix the wound quickly enough, even with the stock of vampire blood they had on hand. The recipients of vampire blood needed to give the hospital consent and Gwen was passed out. Her heart was still tapping, but just barely. I laid Gwen out on the island in Aiden’s kitchen and watched as he bit into his wrist and coated the wound with his blood. The splayed flesh began to knit back together, but by then there wasn’t much blood coming out of the wound. That wasn’t a good sign.

“She’s lost too much blood,” Aiden said, his face sallow as realization set in.

“Just heal the wound and I’ll take her to the hospital for a blood transfusion,” I told him, frantically. I could feel her soul slipping, detaching from her body, and I already knew what I would do to make sure she lived.

Ten minutes. That’s how long it took Aiden’s blood to heal the gash in Gwen’s throat. Ten minutes had never felt so long. However, that didn’t stop Gwen’s soul from lifting from her body. Aiden had been right; she lost too much blood.

“She’s dead,” Aiden said, his voice unrecognizable. He lifted his head to meet my eyes, his features hardening and accusatory. “You were supposed to protect her. What fucking good are you if you couldn’t stop her death?”

We both loved Gwen, I knew that, but I loved her more. “If you’ll shut the hell up for two seconds,” I bit out. Aiden huffed, his eyes softening when he looked down at Gwen. Her soul hovered at the end of the island.

“It’s not your time,” I told her spirit, reaching my hand out to her.

“Who are you talking to?” Aiden asked, looking to the space that I faced. “She’s here, isn’t she?”

“Yes,” I told him, “and I’m going to save her.” Clasping Gwen’s hand, I began the process of drawing in her soul into me.

“Dorian, no,” Gwen said. “Don’t make the same mistake twice.”

Taken aback, I realized she remembered two different pasts as well. This was so bizarre, but at least she knew what I was going to do.

“You know I have to,” I told her. “We’re running out of time.”

“Don’t you understand? No matter how much you want it, I am not supposed to live, Dorian. Let me go. Don’t risk losing your powers and position for something that cannot be changed.”

I snorted, shaking my head. It was just like her to be selfless in the end, think of me rather than her own death.

“No,” I told her. “I can’t.” Without further debate, I sucked her soul into my hands and placed them over her chest, releasing her soul back into her body. Working quickly, I lifted her into my arms and transported us to the hospital. If she didn’t receive a blood transfusion fast, her soul would detach from her body again.

Snapping out of my memory, I looked to Fiona for answers. If I saved her, then where the hell was she. Did something go wrong with the spell?

“She’s okay,” Fiona said again. “She arrived back here a couple minutes before you. When she told us what happened, she decided to take matters into her own hands.”

“What the hell does that mean?” I asked. “Where. Is. She?”

“She told me not to tell you, but she said to tell you that not all wars are yours to fight, to let her fight this one on her own.”

I raked my fingers through my hair, resting my hands on my head. “Where is she, Fiona? What has she done?”

Tears filled Fiona’s eyes, but a smile spread on her face. “She’s sacrificing herself to save you, to save Flora.”

It finally dawned on me that Aiden was also missing, and then all the pieces clicked together. “Son of a bitch!” I snarled. “Where did he take her?” I didn’t know if it was the tone of my voice, the fury contorting my face or the power radiating off me, but Fiona shied away from me. I didn’t want to, but I would torture her soul until she told me. Gwen would definitely hate me afterwards, but I was a madman with only one thing on my mind—getting to Gwen. I was irrational and crazed with the thoughts of Aiden trying to turn her hybrid. If it didn’t work I wouldn’t be there to restore her soul.

“You have to let her do this, Dorian,” Fiona said. “It’s what she wants.”

“And what if something goes wrong?” I growled. “Who will save her if Aiden’s plan doesn’t work?”

Indecision flashed across Fiona’s face. I could tell up until this point, she had been banking on it working out.

Using a softer voice, I said, “Tell me so I can be there if something goes wrong. Please.”

She wavered, caught between what I told her and what Gwen asked of her. I could see her resolve crumple the moment she made up her mind, and I felt my fury deflate some.

“He took her to her apartment.”

I was gone as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

“DON’T DO IT.” Dorian’s desperation echoed through his voice, sending reverberations up my spine. I paused before turning to face him, needing that extra second to gain more courage before I looked into those churning gray eyes. Somehow I knew he’d come. He caught me as I walked across the parking lot to my apartment. I’d given Aiden the key and told him to wait inside.

The first thing I’d said upon arriving back in our present time was that ‘it didn’t work.’ As soon as I’d told them the spell had been unsuccessful, Aiden had quickly filled me in on the hybrid theory. He’d explained it to me while in New Orleans a few weeks ago. Knowing time was of the essence, I made the decision to go with him. Dorian would try to stop me if he showed up before we left.

“You know I have to,” I told him. Everything inside of me wound tightly, no slack to give me a moment to breathe. My heart thumped to the rhythm of my racing blood. The choice I had made wasn’t a choice at all; it was my last and only resort. It wasn’t a loophole in fate’s plan for me, not unless it worked. I didn’t have my sights set high for its success, but I refused not to try. If my body rejected the vampire virus, and I died from it coursing through my bloodstream, then at least my friends would know I had tried everything in my power to survive—to stay with them.

“Gwen.” My name formed as a whisper between Dorian’s lips, so light that it barely reached my ears. His powerful body now looked smaller with his shoulders slumped in defeat. I admired him from the six feet that separated us, knowing he had tried everything in his power to find a way around this. Why couldn’t he understand that now I had to do the same?

I quickly realized that this could be the last time I ever stood in his presence, and a cold shiver skipped its way up my spine. Changing my mind about becoming hybrid wouldn’t change the fact that my time was running out. It wasn’t a matter of
if
I died, it was a matter of
when
. I could feel time slipping between my fingers with each tick of the clock.

Dorian’s legs swallowed up the space between us as he moved toward me. I held myself rigid and fought off the cold lacing its way through my body. My fingernails bit into the fleshy part of my palms as I fisted my hands at my side.

“Don’t,” I warned when Dorian stood in front of me. “Don’t ask me to put myself before everyone else in the world.” Tears blurred my eyes as I stared up at him. Curling my bottom lip in, I held it between my teeth to stop it from quivering.

“You’re
my
world, Gwen,” Dorian confessed, his voice cracking when he spoke my name. “Tell me that means something.”

A single tear escaped my eye and slid a sluggish path down my cheek. We were both quiet as we stared at one another. The sun would be rising in an hour, yet another clock to alert me that time was running out.

“It means something to me,” I told him, “but you know better than anyone that the needs of many outweigh the wants of one, and the world
needs
me to do this. I’ve already borrowed too much time, caused too much chaos and pain. Please don’t ask me to continue doing so.”

Dorian’s head slumped as he stared at the ground. His tongue darted out and swiped a path across his lips. When he looked at me again, his masculine features softened. The gentle morning breeze stirred his hair across his eyes. I took a moment to study the clouds churning within them, to memorize their beauty and depth.

“Gwen…I,” Dorian started, “I cannot roam an earth where you don’t exist. You’re the one thing that has made my existence worth a damn.” He stepped even closer and wrapped me in his arms, drawing me into his chest. I lay my head against the soft leather of his coat and closed my eyes. I needed to be in this moment, feel the strength of his arms around me and the scent of leather in my nose.

“Had I known a hundred years ago that I would someday meet you, I would have celebrated the sunset every night because it would mean I was one day closer to finding you. I tried to fight against the emotions you caused, knowing getting attached to anything was pointless, but I couldn’t.” Dorian’s fingers lifted my chin so that he could see my face. “I think I knew what it meant that day I placed your soul back into your body, but I didn’t want to acknowledge its truth.” He was silent for only a few moments, but if felt like hours to me.

“I’ve taken a lot of families’ loved ones, watched the loss break them apart. I never understood it until you, until there was a chance that you may be taken someday, too. I get it now, understand how losing someone can completely wreck a person, but their pain will not compare to mine if I lose you, Gwen. Because in my very long existence, I have never met anyone who loved someone as much as I love you.”

My lungs stopped working. My heart stopped its rapid beating. My entire body paused as those words left Dorian’s lips. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, we were supposed to be keeping it causal. I had been hurt one too many times, and Dorian didn’t do relationships. We had agreed to keep it casual. Speaking those three little words was forbidden. How dare he tell me he loved me again, and how dare me for loving him, too.

“Say something,” Dorian ordered, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell him that I loved him, that I had been falling a little bit each day. I couldn’t tell him that despite my luck with men, he’d been the one to make me hope again. I just…couldn’t.

I unwound myself from his arms and took a step back. Another tear escaped from my eye and dripped onto my cheek. Swallowing hard, I took a deep breath and looked up at the angel of Death. If I didn’t survive the change, would he look for love in another person? I hoped so. I hoped that now that he connected with those emotions, he would seek them in another person.

“This is my punishment then?” Dorian asked the sky, his head tilted back as he yelled up to the fading stars. “I broke the rules and now you’re taking her from me.”

“Stop,” I told him, reaching out to take his hand. Dorian’s head snapped down and our eyes connected again. His eyebrows wrinkled, and his lips hardened into a line.

“I was supposed to die that day in my shop,” I told him. “That was my expiration date. Even though you replaced my soul, I died that day, Dorian. I’ve been living on borrowed time and we both know it doesn’t last. Flora is paying for it, and that’s not right. You have to let me go.” I smiled through my tears. “Besides, maybe this isn’t goodbye. There is still a small chance that my body will accept the vampire virus.”

“I don’t like leaving things to chance,” Dorian said.

“Sometimes a chance is all you have.” I wiped away the lingering tears and got myself together, putting on a brave face when I felt anything but. I tried on a bigger smile, hoping it looked more genuine than it felt.

“Thank you, Dorian,” I said. “For everything.”

“Don’t do that,” he bit out.

“What?”

“Pretend like we’re good friends saying goodbye. Don’t act like what’s between us is one-sided. I know you feel just as strongly as I do. Don’t use this as an excuse to ignore it, Gwen.”

I laughed, but there was no humor in it. “What do you expect me to say, Dorian? That I love you?” I threw my hands up in frustration. “I love you, okay? I loved every minute with you, even the ones where you pissed me off.” My eyes blurred and I shook my head as a tornado of thoughts swirled through my head. “And giving you and my friends up is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but it won’t change anything.”