He's Her (8 page)

Loneliness consumed her. After their wonderful night of lovemaking, Rhett went missing. He had shut himself off. When she tried to contact him or coax him to be with her, he stayed surprisingly silent.

The day crawled along. She yearned for it to end so she could visit the hospital and see for herself the body of the man who was her lover. She’d believed him when he told her lovemaking made one feel satisfied and fulfilled, but he had been wrong, terribly wrong. It was a miracle, a glorious miracle. The pleasure she’d felt was indescribable, way beyond those two mundane words.

Finally, arriving at the hospital, Carrie spied Nurse Freise sorting and stacking her charts. Carrie tiptoed past. She didn’t want to be held up and kept away from Rhett. She hurried to his bedside.

The room was cleaned out.

His bed was unoccupied.

He was gone.

Carrie buckled. Her legs turned to rubber. Inside her a hammer was beating her heart to a pulp. If not for the nearby chair, she would have ended up on the floor in a pool of misery, like a rag doll flung aside.

All day she’d felt empty and alone. Now, seeing this barren, deserted space she jumped to the worst possible conclusion. She couldn’t bear it. Pain rolled through her in waves, the agony searing her soul.

“My God! Carrie, don’t. I’m here, Sweetheart. I can’t do it. I can’t leave you like this.”

“Rhett! You’re still alive. How could you let me believe you were gone? You bastard! You scared the devil out of me.”
An overwhelming life force flowed back into place and mended her broken spirit.
“Where did you go? I called for you all day, and you never let on. Don’t ever frighten me like that again. I prayed you’d left because you were back in your own body.”

“I know, my love. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, closing myself off from you. But I knew I had to stay away. Early this morning, I began to realize exactly what I was asking. The unfairness of expecting your love to last, if I’m not able to function as an ordinary male. If I remain open to you, you’ll never move on. Never have a normal life. I care about you too much to keep you tied to a relationship with no physical possibilities. I wanted you to have your chance to find love with a fellow who can hold you in his arms and one day give you children.”

“Oh, Rhett, I don’t want anyone else. Can’t you understand that? No one else has ever made me feel the things you do. I love you.”

“Carrie, I’m not a very nice person. I’m not kind and honourable like you. I’ve used people and never cared who got hurt. I’ve no pity in me for others less fortunate; I don’t even see them. Since living with your warmth, your caring for others and the love you pass out so freely, I feel ashamed. I’m a cad with women, a jerk to my employees, I have no patience with stupidity and I’m an unforgiving family man. You deserve much better.”

“I don’t want better. I want you.”

“Thanks, I think.”
His droll spark of fun brought a smile to join the relief on her face.

“Rhett, you are a good man. You’ve taught me
about human nature. To open my eyes and see people as they really are and not how I want to see them. From you I’ve learnt that I’m every person’s equal and I can demand to be treated respectfully. Most of all, you’ve shown me the beauty of love between a man and a woman, and I want to feel it again and again, but with you. Only with you.”

“Well, sugar, then I guess we’d better find out where I am. Sounds strangely bizarre put like that, doesn’t it?”
He chuckled at his own joke.

She giggled in reaction. It was an emotional valve, like the one used in a steam cooker before there’s a chance of it blowing up.
“I’ll go and find Nurse Freise.”

The disconcerted nurse faltered when Carrie approached. Her head bent down for a second as if to beg for help from a hidden source. Her shoulders lifted as her resolve strengthened. She put both hands on her desk and pushed herself upwards.

“My dear, I’m most terribly sorry for the way things worked out. Such a shame!”

“Where is Mr. Parks, nurse?”

“Mr. Parks’ brother flew in yesterday morning. He got permission from the doctors to move his brother and took him back to America on the evening flight. Seems he was in a hurry to get back to Vegas to keep the family business afloat until such time as his brother wakes up. A truly strange phenomenon indeed, Mr. Parks was. Had all the specialists scratching their heads—except that is, for our own Dr. Andrews.”

“Dr. Andrews?” Carrie’s ears perked up, listening to the nurse’s chatter.

“Psychiatry is his field of expertise, and he’s quite brilliant. He consults on many unusual cases. He became very insistent that I pass on his card and impress on you, Miss Temple, how imperative it is for you to call on him. He wishes to speak with you personally. His instructions were for you to see him at his office, which is in his home. You’re to go there at any time convenient to yourself. Bless my soul, the man was adamant that you seek him out. If you wish to use the telephone here, I’m sure it would be acceptable, under the circumstances.”

“You’re most kind, nurse, thank you so much.”

“Not at all, dearie.”

The older woman’s sharp scrutiny had noticed the telltale signs of tears on Carrie’s cheeks, and Carrie appreciated the nurse’s compassion.

Soon after Carrie called the doctor, she was ringing the doorbell at Dr. Andrews’ house. While she waited, she felt an uplifting of spirits, a flow of positive thinking that came along with her habit of looking on the bright side of every situation.

“Your cheeriness is driving me crazy. Why are you so happy?”

“Why are you so negative? Rhett, have some faith in Dr. Andrews. He has wonderful credentials. This is 1967, not the middle ages. Psychiatry has become an accepted form of medicine today and has helped many people.”

“Right. Crazy people. These guys are all a bunch of shysters. My stepmother has been fleeced for years by a psychiatrist and, if anything, he’s made her meaner and nastier than ever.”

“I’m sure there are charlatans in every branch of medicine, but what do we have to lose? He’s the only professional person who has shown any interest in your situation, and until we hear what he has to say, I want to feel good about it.”

“Fine! We’ll talk to him, but afterwards, I’m afraid, we’ll need to make travel arrangements. You have to take me to Vegas, as my strength seems to be waning, maybe because my body is so far away.”

“Rhett, what a right pair of idiots we are. Of course there’d be a difference. But how can we
travel? I don’t have any money, and I need to work. And what about the Poppets? How ever can I leave them?”

Just then the door opened and a studious-looking, middle-aged man stepped out and reached for Carrie’s hand. “Hello, my dear. I’m Dr. Andrews. You must be Miss Temple.” The doctor’s bifocals were perched halfway down his nose, and he peered over them to assess the woman in front of him. “I believe you were with young Mr. Parks when the unfortunate incident occurred.”

“Yes, I’m Carrie Temple. I’m very relieved you could see me today.” Her instinctive trust for this man had her relaxing instantly.

“Please, come into my office and take a seat.” He led her into a spacious older home sparkling with cleanliness and order. Carrie thought vaguely he must have a housekeeper or a wife to look after him.

“What if he keeps it this way all by himself?”
Rhett couldn’t help but point out the possibility.

“Don’t be silly.”

“I stand corrected. Well, I would stand if I had any legs.”

“That’s why we’re here.”

“May I offer you a cup of tea or a glass of sherry?”

“No, thank you, Dr. Andrews. Why did you wish to see me so urgently?”

“I want you to explain exactly what occurred on the day Mr. Parks blacked out. It’s imperative you not forget anything. I need to know, in sequence, everything, absolutely everything, that happened.” So saying, he sat in a comfy brown leather chair across from her and picked up a writing tablet and a pencil.

Carrie told him about walking towards the unsmiling man and feeling taken aback by the grumpy look he’d given her when she smiled at him.

“He made me so nervous that as I cut the rose to bring to my Gran I unexpectedly pricked my finger. I felt a bit uncomfortable, almost faint, for a moment. I remember I sat down on the same bench, next to Mr. Parks, and if I’m not mistaken I dropped the rose and he picked it up. I rather think he may have pricked his finger also, because he flinched and then dropped it. That’s the last thing I remember him doing before he stiffened and fell over.”

The doctor put his writing implements down slowly, leaned towards Carrie, and scooped both her hands gently into his. He smiled into her eyes and said something so disconcerting that she couldn’t catch her breath.

“Mr. Parks,” he said, “can you hear me? I’d like to talk with you, now, if you don’t mind.” His voice was adamant and knowing.

Carrie smiled and relaxed while a deeper timbre answered the confident man. “I’m astounded, Doctor. How did you know what happened? And that I’ve joined with Carrie?”

“Let’s just say I’ve had previous experience with that particular rosebush and bench. How are you feeling, Mr. Parks? Are you quite comfortable?”

“Please call me Rhett. I’m experiencing a sense of weakness now, with my body so far away. Sir, I’ve never wanted anything more than I want to be back with my own flesh and bones. Can you help us?”

“Yes, my dear fellow. I feel completely optimistic. I do believe I can. But it won’t be possible until your body is brought back. We need all of you here. We can do nothing until then. I do promise you, though, that making the exchange is achievable.”

The two people—three new friends—spent the next hours going over all the circumstances, and one thing became abundantly clear. Carrie would be flying to Las Vegas.

Thank goodness for the two hundred pounds she’d robbed. Maybe crime did pay after all.

***

Arranging for the time off work was exhausting. Mr. Browning resembled a belligerent twit, but Carrie persevered and left his office victorious. Her stomach, twisted in knots, ached for hours afterwards, while her interior companion fumed silently. In the end, she accepted the discomfort and considered it a small price to pay for a trip she’d never envisioned making.

The Poppets were surprisingly supportive and encouraged her to take the holiday. The fib she concocted, about being hired as a companion to travel to the States with the fellow in the hospital, was accepted without question. In fact, her grandmother insisted on a shopping trip, in order for Carrie to get some new clothes, and even purchased a new suitcase to put them in. Her grandfather slipped her an envelope as she stepped toward the taxi waiting to take her to the airport. His orders were barked in a joking tone accompanied by a cheeky wink. “Have a spot of fun, Carrie, or you’ll feel the back of me hand on your backside, if you don’t.”

Carrie arrived in the fun city late the next evening. From the window of the plane the city looked like a thickly jewelled necklace spread over a sea of black velvet. The place hummed with activity. Even the buildings, teeming with people, seemed alive. Each casino’s thousands of coloured lights were as active as a continuous fireworks display and the brilliance kept the darkness of the night from intruding anywhere in the downtown limits.

Her eyes were rounded pools of amazed disbelief as the taxi delivered her to an ostentatious, flamboyantly decorated building. What looked like a fairground, including a fake roller coaster, was plastered over the outside of the building, depicted in a variety of different coloured lights. Her mouth open, her neck stretched, she stared at the happy crowds of noisy guests coming and going from the dazzlingly grandiose entrance.

Counting out the unfamiliar money to the chatty taxi driver gave her a moment of discomfort, but with Rhett’s help she soon paid him his fare, adding a substantial tip. The talkative fellow hadn’t stopped his recital about the highlights of the city since they’d left the airport, but he was a happy chap, and she had been delighted with his informational exuberance.

Rhett wasn’t. Probably due to the stress of the last few days, his attitude had become increasingly more difficult. Carrie had felt ready to pull her hair out by the time they landed.

She slowly made her way inside the casino, her head swivelling like a bobblehead doll, eager to see in every direction at once. The cacophony of sounds stunned her. Liveliness such as she’d never witnessed before abounded, sparking her youthful appreciation for excitement.

“Oh darling, what a wonderful place.”

“It is something else, isn’t it? Looking at it through your eyes and with your reactions has made me see it in a totally new and refreshing way. ”

Her driver cheerfully led the way to the reception desk and set her one modest suitcase near her feet.

“Thanks, ma’am. Great gabbing with you. Hope you have a wonderful time here, and don’t forget—call me if you want to be chauffeured around the city. Here’s my card.”