Hers for the Holidays (4 page)

He parted her lips wide with his own, giving her little choice in the matter as his tongue sliding over hers, tempting—no, daring—her to come out and play. Lydia reacted from sheer need and adrenaline, all of the desperate wanting she’d ignored for two months surging into the kiss as she dug her fingers into his hair, giving as good as she got. She might not need him, but she needed
this—
this blinding passion, the heat that erased everything but the kiss. Mouths mating violently, the intensity burned a clean path through her heart, leaving only Ely and her desire for him in its wake.

Desire, she could deal with. Desire was easy and uncomplicated.

He pulled back, only to bury his face at her throat, proceeding to drive her crazy with his tongue and teeth on her skin, his hands traveling under her shirt, closing over her breasts with a moan. She pressed into his touch, urging him on.

His arms slid to her back, banding around her as she tugged on his hair to bring his mouth back to her lips. They didn’t need air for quite some time as the kiss went on and on. This made more sense than any of their words did.

Hard against her hip, he ground into the soft, hot apex of her thighs, pushing her close to the edge. He was close, too. When she reached down, closing her hand over the steely ridge at the front of his jeans, he shuddered from head to toe.

She could take him upstairs. Sate herself and forget everything that was complicating her life for another night. It sounded like the best idea she’d had in days.

“Too many clothes,” she whispered, her voice shaking with need. He had her so close to coming, all it would take was a sweet bit of pressure in just the right spot and it would be all over.

Taking in his darkened eyes and ragged breathing, she knew that he was in the same shape. But Lydia had too much experience to mistake lust for anything more.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t come here to do that,” he said, walking away from her to the other side of the kitchen, pushing his hands through his hair. He turned to meet her gaze with his own, still smoldering with banked desire.

Lydia blew out a breath, wondering what she had been thinking. Well, she hadn’t been. That had been a close call. Ely wasn’t the kind of guy who got involved casually, and that was all Lydia did. This would have been another mistake.

“You’re right. No apology needed.”

She had a feeling that he never meant for her to find out he was here. He’d been watching her and reporting back. The fact that they were here in her kitchen together was an accident that was never supposed to happen. She couldn’t let herself be fooled. No doubt he wanted to help; helping was his
job.

And she had made a fool out of herself, almost taking him to bed, again.

He backed away as sanity returned in small bits to both of them. The distance was both a relief and...not.

“I don’t know what got into me, but you just...” He shook his head, and she wondered what he was about to say.

“I know. Me, too. It’s just been a crazy night, that’s all. Listen, why don’t we get some sleep, and then I can make you breakfast and the guys can help you get the truck out so you can be on your way. I’m okay here on my own, Ely. Seriously.”

“Make me breakfast? You cook?” he said lightly, teasingly, trying to lighten the mood between them.

“I like to cook, actually,” she said, trying to meet him halfway. To sound normal, as if nothing had happened. As if they hadn’t almost swallowed each other whole right here in the kitchen where she used to bake Christmas cookies as a girl.

“Yeah?”

“My mother taught me. We always had a garden, fresh foods. Beef and dairy, of course. I sometimes cook dinner at my place, invite all of my friends over.”

“Really?” he said softly, looking at her, the heat burning off, but still evident in his face and in the way he held his body. “And here I thought I was one of your friends.”

That set her back. Ely, a friend?

“Why would you think that?” she asked baldly, and saw the surprise register in his face. She wasn’t known for her subtlety, but that had been rude, even for her. “I’m sorry. It’s just that, that one night aside, we really don’t know each other well. And it wasn’t like you hung around for long after the wedding.”

She sighed, looking outside where the snow whipped against the windows even harder than it had been before, and she shook her head. Her luck he couldn’t just leave now.

“You’re right. But maybe we could fix all that. Let me help, Lydia.”

“Don’t do this, Ely.”

“What?”

“Charm me. Seduce me. Wheedle your way through my defenses. Try to get what you want by working your way into my life somehow. Protect me. Whatever else you have in mind,” she said, turning to the sink to wash her hands. “You can stay tonight, and then you need to go home.”

“That sounds familiar,” he said, a little edge to his voice. “I just want to help with whatever trouble you’re having now. Be a friend. Is that so bad?”

She turned to face him, and he met her eyes.

“Really? That’s all?”

“I won’t lie. I’ve thought about that night a lot since it happened. You...that night we had, it inspired me to really think about my life and what I want out of it.”

She frowned. “How?”

“Well, for one, I think I dodged a bullet with Chloe, though I didn’t know it at the time. And meeting you, seeing how freely you enjoy life, how spontaneous and unfettered you are, it made me wonder why I’m so anxious to always tie myself down. I’ve been tied to something for my entire life—my family, the Marines, Berringer’s. Those things are important to me, but I need some...freedom, I guess. You showed me that.”

She was speechless. Stunned.

“I don’t understand. I thought that you were ashamed of being with me,” she blurted.

He looked clearly taken aback. “Whoa. Hold on a second there. I wasn’t ashamed of anything. Why would you think that?”

“You avoided me like the plague. You barely spoke to me, danced with everyone at Tessa and Jonas’s wedding but me,” she said hotly, then slapped a hand over her mouth, hating that she had let that hurtful bit slip.

Dammit. She was tired, and stretched to her last nerve, otherwise she never would have said that. Too late now.

“Hell, Lydia. I thought that was how you wanted it, for no one to know. I didn’t mean to hurt you. That wasn’t my intention. I guess I overdid it, trying to act like nothing had happened. I was pretty screwed up to start with, and afterward, I felt like a jerk for using Tessa’s best friend to forget my troubles for a night. You deserve better than that. So I kept my distance.”

Lydia pushed a hand through her hair. She’d never made an effort or tried to talk to him about it, either. They’d both made a mess of it.

“It shouldn’t matter—it doesn’t matter—but I just thought you didn’t want anyone to know that the big, brave Marine had gotten down and dirty with the Goth girl. I guess that got to me a little.”

He swore. “I didn’t mean it that way. I never thought that for a moment. I’m so sorry.”

Lydia wasn’t sure how to feel about his confession, but they’d aired it out and now she wanted to move past it.

“So now you’re a free agent? Not looking for the white picket fences anymore?” she asked.

He smiled. “Not anytime soon. I was trying too hard, rushing it. Why get tied down? At least, not in a relationship,” he said, the light in his eyes telling her that getting tied down in other ways was much more likely.

Lydia’s mind was spinning, and she turned to pick up something that had been left on the floor, needing a moment.

So what he had taken from their night together was that he wanted to be free to be with as many women as he felt like, do whatever he wanted, with no strings?

Why did that bother her so much? It was how she’d lived her life for the last twelve years. How she
still
lived her life.

Maybe it was because she knew he didn’t really mean it. Men like Ely didn’t change their stripes overnight. He believed in commitment, he’d been raised to believe in it, and he wanted it for himself. She’d seen it at the wedding, how he watched his parents with such open affection, and how happy he was for Jonas and Tessa. And because of how wrecked he’d been when he found out his ex had duped him.

It’s how he lived his life. Who he was to his core. He might be taking a little break from that, but ultimately, Ely was a long-term kind of guy.

“So what do you want now, Ely?”

“I want to help,” he said easily. “I know you need someone who can work on this place so you can sell it.”

She turned to look at him sharply. “And how do you know—ah, right, you were following me today.” He would have seen all of her failed attempts to find contractors to hire.

“If you want to unload this place, it needs some fixing up. I can help with that.”

She frowned, crossing her arms in front of her.

“Are you serious?”

“I am. If you want to pay for materials, the labor is free. No strings. And in case anything else happens, I’m close by.”

“That’s all?”

He stepped in closer. “I don’t know. Maybe we could stay open to anything else? No pressure and no expectations. But we’re good together.”

“No strings?”

“Nope.” He shook his head resolutely. “No rules, no commitments—except for being friends,” he said, reaching to push some hair back behind her ear. “That would be nice for when we both have to go back to Philly.”

Lydia chewed her lip, considering. She needed to unload this place, and the house needed work. He was the solution to her problem. It surprised her, really, how much she wanted to agree. And if he meant it, if it was just to help out, to be a friend, then maybe it could work.

“What happens when we go back to Philly?”

He shrugged. “We’ll be friends. We’ll go back to our lives, I guess. See each other when our paths cross.”

“What are you going to tell Tessa?”

“I’ll tell her I found you, you’re fine, and I’m stuck out here in the weather for a few days. The rest is yours to tell. Or not.”

Lydia felt enormous relief that he wasn’t going to tell Tessa about what he knew. If letting him stay here and help would prevent him from revealing her secrets to her friend, and help her get the house in shape, she’d be an idiot not to agree—and Lydia wasn’t an idiot.

It was an enormous temptation, as well, to give in to his other offer, but that could be risky—maybe even more so if he meant it, the no-strings bit. She wasn’t sure anymore if she could do that. Not when it came to Ely, and with her life so upside down.

Maybe, this time, they could find a way to be friends. They had chemistry, sure, but that didn’t mean they had to act on it, right?

“I could use help fixing things up,” she relented. “If you really know what you’re doing.”

Ely nodded, relaxing. “I do. We can talk about it in the morning. So where do you want me to sleep?” he asked, clearly wondering about the other side of his proposition.

She frowned. “Not with me. I think we could just try being friends. Not that I’m not tempted, but I have so much going on, and—”

He shushed her gently. “No problem. That’s perfectly okay. Whatever you need, Lydia.”

She smiled, not sure if she was relieved or not at his easy acceptance of her rejection. But it was for the best.

“If you don’t mind, maybe I could catch a hot shower and some shut-eye?” he asked, turning away.

Lydia blinked with how quickly they’d gone from fighting to kissing to this casual agreement. Was she fooling herself that she could have him around and maintain her distance? Was he fooling himself? No. He was straighter than an arrow, and she was stronger than that.

“Sure, the shower’s upstairs, straight down the hall on the left. The beds in the other room aren’t made up, so if you want to take the sofa, that’s fine. It’s pretty comfortable. I can make up a room for you tomorrow.”

The idea of him in her shower was filling her mind with lust.

“I can stay in the bunkhouse, if you want,” he offered.

“I’m not sure what the accommodations are like down there anymore. There’s more than enough room here, and if you’re working on the house, it makes sense,” she said easily, as if it would be no problem at all.

“Okay, then, thanks. See you in the morning,” he said casually, as if they were pals, hanging out. Easy-peasy.

When he left, she felt as if she had been picked up and landed down somewhere else, completely disoriented. Had she really gone from not wanting him here to agreeing to let him stay and help her with the house?

It all seemed so reasonable.

She picked up their empty mugs and found herself tracing the edge of the cup he had drunk from, remembering the touch of his lips and his hands. Realizing what she was doing, she put the mug down so quickly she almost broke it, and cursed under her breath.

How did he manage to turn her inside out so easily without seeming like he even suffered a hair out of place? It didn’t matter. They’d talked, kissed, and would part ways this time as...friends.

That still didn’t feel quite right, but it would make things easier when they went back to Philly. She shut off the lights and headed to bed, trying not to listen to the water running in the shower down the hall from her room. Thinking about him naked in her shower, the hot water running over all of those lovely muscles. She pretended not to notice that the door had opened a bit. A gentle invitation?

Tempting as it was, she walked into her room, shutting the door tight. Ely might think he was happy playing things free and easy, but she knew that giving in would only make things more difficult. Right now, that was the last thing she needed.

4

E
LY
FELT
GREAT
in spite of his lack of sleep the night before. He’d showered and hit the sofa, but had no expectation of sleep. Not with Lydia in her room upstairs. In her bed.

He couldn’t help but peek into the room she was using—her bags were all over the place—and she’d left the door wide open. Needless to say, the decor here was very different than her bedroom back in Philly, which was part BDSM parlor, part French boudoir.

Here, pretty watercolors hung on the walls by the bed. In her apartment, erotic black-and-whites adorned the walls of the room. The sheets in this warm-toned room were cotton, soft and comforting. There were handmade quilts on the bed.

Back home, Lydia preferred satin. They’d been scarlet red the night he’d been with her.

Needless to say, with those memories and their kiss on his mind, sleep was not going to happen. He hadn’t come here thinking about sleeping with Lydia again—quite the opposite—but after he’d kissed her, he’d hoped she might change her mind. Let him make it up to her for being such a jerk before. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, but apparently, he’d done a good enough job of it that she wasn’t interested in a second go-round. That was fine, he told himself, ignoring the mocking chant in the back of his brain that said he was fooling himself.

So he’d spent a couple of hours making a list of things he’d need to start making repairs. The wiring was old but should pass inspection, he thought, but it wouldn’t hurt to replace several sockets and the old fixtures. The bigger jobs would be shoring up the kitchen floor and doing something with the windows. He wasn’t sure if she wanted to replace the windows, or if that could even be done in a timely way, but they could re-caulk and perhaps insulate them better.

He dressed and left early, the rumbling of a motor outside waking him before it was light. Not that there would be much light with the storm still dumping snow by the buckets. Predawn gave way to just a slightly less-dark morning. Smitty, the ranch manager, an older man about sixty or so, was starting up a tractor with a plow attachment outside the larger barn.

“Need an extra pair of hands?”

Smitty looked him in the eye, and nodded. “You that friend of Lydia’s that Kyle mentioned?”

“That would be me,” Ely said, offering a handshake and then going to work alongside the man. “I’ll be around for a few days, and don’t mind helping out.”

“Good to know.”

Ely grabbed a shovel to start clearing the more narrow paths as Smitty plowed the main areas between the house and the barns. Kyle emerged, heading directly to the barn without talking to either of them. He sent a glare in Ely’s direction, and Ely casually saluted back before Kyle disappeared into the barn.

The morning became a bit brighter, and Lydia came out to join them, offering only a grumbling good morning as she walked by. Not so much a morning person, he guessed.

Ely continued to work, enjoying the brisk air, though he wished he had his heavier jacket with him. The effort kept him warm, more or less, but when a wind blew, it cut through his light coat.

A ringing came from his pocket, and he pulled out his phone.

Jonas.

“Hey, brother.”

“Ely. What’s going on? Tessa won’t stop pacing, so I promised I’d call and get a status report.”

“Sorry about that. I was going to call her today, but we got hit by a storm, so we’re in the process of digging out. The white stuff is still coming down.”

“I didn’t call for a weather report,” Jonas said sarcastically, in his usual gruff style. Tessa had done a lot to soften him up, but he was still Jonas. “Are you okay? And Lydia?”

“Yeah. She’s fine, but I might stick around for a while just to make sure. My truck went off the road last night, so I ended up staying at her place.”

“Her place? How does Lydia have a place in Montana?”

Ely gave his brother the skinniest version of the truth that he could. “But I’d rather you didn’t tell Tessa any of that. Lydia wants to tell her herself when she comes home.”

Hopefully, Ely thought uncomfortably.

“I see. So until then, you’re staying with her at this ranch? Just the two of you?”

“It’s not what you think, Jon. And there are ranch hands around, as well.”

“I know how it can be to be stuck in a storm with a beautiful woman,” Jonas said with a chuckle. “Changed my whole life.”

Tess and Jonas had been stuck in a major east coast storm the previous summer, one that caused blackouts up and down the entire seaboard. Jonas had lost his eyesight, and he and Tessa ended up traversing the city in the storm in order to help one of her elderly friends. It had been a tense time, but it was also when they had fallen in love.

Ely needed Jonas to know the same thing did not apply in this case. Even if he and Lydia had agreed to be friends for the time being, it was never going to come to more than that. He had his whole life ahead of him, and he wasn’t going to go jumping into another serious relationship.

“Listen, I’m helping her out with a few things here, especially since I can’t get out anyway, but that’s all there is to it.”

“That’s it? You’re sure?”

“Yeah. That’s it. I did a crappy thing to her back in the fall, and I know it. I wasn’t thinking straight then, and I need to make it right, so that’s what I’m doing now.”

That, at least, was the truth.

“Tessa will be disappointed. I think she was still holding out hope you and Lydia would get together.”

“You’d think she’d know Lydia better than that, and I’m not in any rush to get involved in anything, either. If I learned anything back in the fall, it was that I am not ready to be in any kind of committed relationship at this point.”

“Who are you trying to convince, Ely?”

“Bite me, Jonas. And even if you don’t believe me, you know how Lydia is.”

“Yeah, I know. I tried to tell Tessa that, too. Lydia doesn’t do relationships, but she does a lot of other things,” Jonas recited with a chuckle, and Ely froze in place.

“How would you know about that? Did you guys ever—”

“No way. Lydia says that to everyone—it’s her personal motto, but also kind of a joke between friends. Believe me, Lydia’s way too scary for me to think about, uh, well, you know. I love her like a sister, so I’m glad you two are making nice, but no. She and I never went there, not even in my head,” Jonas said with a shudder of sorts.

Ely laughed, partly from relief and partly from his brother’s adamant refusal. He knew Jonas had gotten close to Lydia while he’d been protecting Tessa, but Ely was glad to know it hadn’t been
that
close.

“Sounds to me like you wouldn’t care for someone else getting to know her that well, though. Make sure you do have your head on straight, Ely.”

“It is, don’t worry. Maybe for the first time in a long time.”

“How was Antigua?”

“Heaven.”

“In other words, completely the opposite of Montana?”

“You got that right,” he said, looking around at the snow. “Tell Tessa everything is okay, and Lydia will be in touch. But in the meantime, not to worry. We’re okay here.”

“Okay,” Jonas agreed. “She’ll want to know more, but I’ll tell her Lydia will talk to her when she gets back.”

Ely agreed, and the brothers said goodbye. He looked around, taking in the scenery around him. He’d been joking when he told Jonas that Montana was so far from heaven. He loved the Caribbean, the blue waters and long beaches. But here, the air was clean and brisk, and he felt...free. It really was Big Sky Country, and his spirit responded to that with energy he hadn’t felt in a long time. He loved wide-open spaces, and had forgotten that after being in the city for so long.

Removing the mountains of snow from the driveways and paths was refreshing, and provided a physical outlet for the sexual frustration that still clung to him. He felt much better after a few hours of hard work, until he let himself think about the kiss from the night before, and the soft bedsheets that Lydia was sleeping on. How the pink roses that covered the bed would provide such a stark contrast to the inked flowers and designs on her skin.

Suddenly, he was much warmer than he should be, not even feeling the wind as it passed by.

Down, boy. She wasn’t interested.

She’d kissed him like she was interested, another part of him argued. He could press the issue, and she might give in—and then what? She’d be pissed at him again. And rightfully so.

Chemistry was only hormones, after all, and he was a Marine, right? Self-control was hardwired into his way of life. And when this was done, he’d go back to the Caribbean and help himself to any one—or maybe more—of the beautiful women there who were always available. He stood, taking a breath as he shoveled a path to the front door of the farmhouse, refocusing.

Clearing the final bit of snow in front of the steps, he looked across the field where Lydia expertly managed the tractor, clearing the area around the garage so that she could get her car out. Who would have known?

She constantly surprised him. He wished he could take a picture of her on his phone and send it to Tessa—she was certain to be as surprised by this other side of Lydia as he was.

If Lydia ever told her. Hopefully, she would. Tessa was made of strong stuff, and she stood by her friends. Lydia had to trust in that.

Planting his shovel in the snow, he saw that Smitty and Kyle had gone to take care of the animals, and Lydia was still pushing snow around with the tractor. Ely decided to take the opportunity to look around while everyone else was occupied. He’d already noticed that none of the locks or windows had been broken or jimmied. Lydia had locked her doors, so how had the intruder gained entry?

It was an old door, old lock, and it was possible Lydia’s mother had handed out copies of the keys to anyone she thought needed one. He’d have to find out. He planned to buy new locks and install them first thing, and seek out the local sheriff and talk to him about what was going on. Just in case.

He’d promised Lydia he wouldn’t tell Tessa, but he’d never said he wouldn’t tell the local authorities what had happened.

Wandering around the outside of the house, predictably, any footsteps were erased by snow, but he saw something small and off-color kick up through the snow as he stepped and bent to retrieve a small vial. It was empty, and it could be anything. Still, he put it in his pocket.

As he turned the corner toward the back, he was interrupted.

“Looking for something?”

Kyle was standing by the edge of the porch, watching him closely. How did this guy keep managing to get the drop on him?

“Thought I dropped my keys, but I guess I left them inside,” Ely lied smoothly.

Smitty was a good enough guy, but Kyle gave him an itchy feeling. He was protective of Lydia, but there was something shifty about him, as well. Kyle watched more than he talked, and he watched Lydia in particular. Ely didn’t like it.

Kyle barked out a short laugh. “If you lost them out here, you’re sunk. And wouldn’t that be convenient? Give you another excuse to stay.”

Ely smiled, but there was no humor in it. “Turns out I don’t need an excuse. I’ll be staying awhile. I’m going to help out a bit while I’m here.”

Kyle didn’t seem to like that idea very much, but just shrugged. “Whatever,” Kyle said with a snort, and turned to walk away, heading back to the barn.

Maybe a background check into Kyle wouldn’t be a bad idea, Ely thought as he went inside to get his keys—where he had left them on the counter just inside the door. Beside them, he saw a slip of paper and picked it up. It was a veterinary report on one of the cows—the animal had been poisoned.

The door opened and closed behind him, and he turned to find Lydia, pink-cheeked from her outdoor exertions. Their eyes met and held for a second, before she walked past.

“What happened to this cow?” he asked, the piece of paper still in his hand.

Her eyes darkened. “Well, if you read it, you already know. But it’s fine. We got to it in time.”

He touched her elbow as she passed him. “Lydia, someone tried to kill one of your animals—and Kyle told me about the spray paint.”

She took a breath. “Listen, there are some people from my past who might not be crazy about me coming back. I think as soon as they know I’m not staying, this will stop.”

“What else?”

Reluctantly, she told him.

“And the sheriff wouldn’t help?”

“There was nothing they could do. It’s not exactly a situation for them to send out a forensics team and post surveillance,” she said sarcastically, but he sensed the agitation, and the fear, underneath her tone.

“Okay, well, hopefully my presence here in the house might discourage anyone, as well.”

She agreed.

He paused, inhaling. The house smelled amazing and his mouth watered. He hadn’t eaten anything since the night before, and his stomach was reminding him now. Loudly.

“What smells so good?”

“I made a batch of pancakes earlier and left them warming in the oven before I went outside. Let me get the coffee on, and the eggs and sausage, and we can all have brunch in about an hour.”

“All?”

“Yeah. My mother always had everyone in for Sunday breakfast, but Thursday works, too, considering how hard everyone is going at it out there,” she said, peeling off her coat and gloves—much sturdier winter gear than she had been wearing the night before—to reveal her slim, petite figure.

“What can I do to help?” Ely offered.

He suspected maybe that she wanted to invite the ranch hands in so that they weren’t here alone together. Probably a good idea until he got the hang of this being friends thing.

“I’ve got it covered. I think Kyle was going to try to get the tractor over to dig out your truck. You should probably go help him with that. If it keeps snowing like this, we’re going to have to unbury everything again by dinner. You’ll want to get your truck in the garage and under cover.”

“Thanks. If I can get out today, I need to go settle up on my room and get my things. I’ll stop by the hardware store to pick up some supplies, as well.”