Heroes In Uniform (165 page)

Daniel nodded to Grif, then looked around at the faces in the audience. “The Colonel filled me in on how an Army base like Fort Piney can get turned over to civilian authorities. I’ve got the application right here that he gave me for a grant that would help us finance refitting a couple buildings for search and rescue’s needs.” He held up a sheaf of papers and gave them a rueful frown. “Looks like I’ll be doing a lot of paperwork the next few weeks.”

That drew a ripple of laughter as Daniel sat down.

As the sound ebbed, Grif called on their state senator to talk about a proposal for a state highway patrol barracks and auxiliary training facility at Fort Piney. A buzz rose as the audience speculated on how that could help the local economy.

“That’s fine, if the Army will cooperate and turn it over to us,” said Ed Bressler from the back. “But why should it?”

“The Army will cooperate,” said Grif. “The Army’s aware how closings affect communities and has been trying to make them less traumatic. A fort closed in Maryland a few years back has been turned into a high tech center, with the Army’s cooperation.”

“High tech? I don’t know if there’d be call for that around here.”

“Maybe not,” Grif acknowledged. “But how about other uses. Like – ”

“A college. That would be good.” That came from Rufus Trent, who ran the tiny local airport.

“A prison,” volunteered a balding man from the other side, “I felt like I was in prison when I was in the Army, anyway.”

A flurry of other suggestions followed, including a children’s summer camp, a church retreat facility and an equestrian center.

Grif let the ideas flow for nearly half an hour before taking control of the meeting once more. He outlined the phases the closing would follow, as well as a preliminary timetable.

“As the community and your leaders decide which projects to pursue, I will work with you to the best of my ability. I’ve been assured that barring emergencies, I will remain in command here through this process. And – ” Grif’s eyes flickered to Ellyn then away before she could read their expression. “ – when Piney closes, I expect to be retiring from the army so I’ll be in a position to continue to help the transition.”

As Grif concluded his comments and ended the meeting Ellyn felt as if her body had become a static shell, left behind while her heart went soaring somewhere up toward the roof.

He was staying.
Staying
!

He’d said over and over that army and a family didn’t mix, but now he was leaving the army. He was putting aside the uniform that to him symbolized what separated him from the possibilities of home and family. Oh, John Griffin Junior might think he was doing this only to help the community or even to help her and the kids from a “safe” distance, but she knew better. His certainty that he was not cut out to be a husband and father had developed a major crack. She’d keep working on that crack until it was wide enough to let her in or him out. No matter how long it took.

“Mom?”

The young voice, with the slightest tremble to it, jolted Ellyn out of her daze.

Both her children were staring at her. The three of them were the only ones still seated. The rest of the audience was filing out the library doors, picking up information sheets Grif had provided. Grif himself was putting papers in his briefcase, while a private stowed the charts Grif had used in a carrying case.

Without knowing if she meant to leave or go to Grif, she stood.

“Mom? Grif’s staying because of Fort Piney? Forever?”

She looked down at Ben’s puzzled face. “I don’t know about forever, but certainly for a while.”

“But ... but why would he stay for the fort, but not for us?”

“Oh, Ben, it’s not that he’s staying for the fort and not us. It’s not a matter of ...” She heard Grif close his briefcase. Not even aware of Ben’s question. How would he react to it? Would he start to understand what she’d been telling him? “You know, Ben. I can tell you what I think, but if you really want to know, you need to ask Grif that question.”

Ben immediately spun around to face the front of the room. “Grif!”

He paused, then clicked the briefcase’s locks before he turned his head. “Yes, Ben.”

“I wanna ask you something.”

Could Grif hear the anxiety in that young voice?

“Okay, Ben.”

“You’re staying? Even when Fort Piney isn’t a fort any more?”

“That’s right. Because I can help Far Hills.”

“But ... but you told us you couldn’t stay, so ... so how come ...?”

Meg stood beside her brother. “How come you’d stay for the town, but not for us? I thought... You said you loved
us
.”

Ellyn was aware of the private beating a strategic retreat out the side door. Absolute silence squeezed the otherwise empty room.

Grif looked from Meg to Ben, then met her gaze.

“Ellyn – ”

“You’re the only one who can answer, Grif. If you think they deserve an answer.”

He stared at her hard, then strode toward them down the aisle between the seats until he was a yard from Meg and Ben. He crouched down.

“I do love you. Don't either of you ever doubt that.” For a second, his eyes flickered to Ellyn, then returned to the faces of her children. “But some men shouldn’t have families, or – ”

“Why not?” Ben interrupted

“Because they’re in prison or they run off all the time, like that puppy of Billy’s that keeps digging under the fence,” explained his sister, delving into the wisdom of her ten years.

“Oh.” Ben considered that, then turned again to the apparently speechless Grif. “But you don’t do any of those things.”

“No, I don’t. But those aren’t the only reasons. I would give everything I have to be the kind of man who could settle down in a place like this with you – all of you. But some men aren’t meant for that kind of life.”

Ben’s brows knit. “But we’ve been like your family. You’ve been doing everything like a father would, so how come you’re worried that you can’t do it, when you already have?”

Ellyn bit her lip to keep from whooping. Ah, the ruthless logic of children.

But Grif had been making this argument to himself for a long time, and it would take more than that to knock it apart. “This has only been a short time, Ben. Remember how I told you about my father? He’s the only person I had to watch for learning how to be a husband or father, and he was a failure at both, so – ”

“Maybe he didn’t get enough of a chance,” Ellyn protested, and saw in the glance he gave her that the same doubt had opened another large crack in his certainty. “Maybe if your mom had been around things would have been different.”

And then another voice blindsided Grif from the other side.

“That doesn’t make any sense about your father, Grif,” Meg said sternly. “You told us about him, but he didn’t ever take you riding, did he?”

“No. But – ”

“Did he play baseball with you or take you to soccer signups or talk about when you were feeling sad or make you do your homework or go to school for your class like you did for Ben? Did he?”

“No, but – ”

“So it doesn’t matter about him being a role model because you’re not like him,” Meg declared triumphantly.

Grif looked from Meg to Ben and back, then up at her. “Ellyn – ”

“I didn’t coach them. They’re just smart enough to see what I’ve been telling you all along. You know, for a man who maintains he’s not cut out for this, you’ve helped each of us– Ben with his loneliness, Meg with her anger and me – ” She knew memories of their loving was in her eyes – she knew because she could see it reflected in his. “ – with my doubts.”

“So you could come live with us forever,” Ben said, apparently feeling this was all settled. He added in a burst of generosity, “You can stay in my room, But you’d have to get your own bed.”

“Don’t be stupid, Ben. If he came to live with us, Grif and Mom would have to get married, and he’d stay in
her
room, and they’d have a bed together,” Meg concluded. The thought flash through Ellyn’s otherwise preoccupied mind that she should have a certain talk with her daughter soon. “If they want to – and they’ll only want to if they love each other.”

Ben immediately looked up at Ellyn. “Do you, Mom? Do you love Grif?”

She parted her lips, intending a speech about how this was one of those complicated issues that adults should sort out in private. Instead, a single, choked word came out. “Yes.”

Grif stared up at her, his intense gray eyes seeming to melt. Before she could do any more than commit that look to memory, her son turned his attention on Grif. “Do you love Mom, Grif?”

“I’ve loved your Mom as long as I’ve known her, Ben.”

“Great! Then – ”

“No, stupid, it’s not great,” Meg declared. “He’s known her since they were kids, so that doesn’t mean anything.”

“It doesn’t?” Ben demanded of Grif.

“It means a lot, but Meg’s right, Ben. It’s not that simple. It’s... It’s... Look, I’m not very good at words, and – ”

“That’s okay, Grif.” Ben assured him with his usual cut-to-the-chase honesty. “Mom always says actions speak louder than words. But I’ll tell you anyhow, I love you, Grif.”

Tears filled Ellyn’s eyes. This conversation had been an emotional roller-coaster unlike any she had ridden, and all she could do was hold on for dear life – and for the dear love of the three people in front of her.

As if by agreement, they all looked at Meg. Her mouth worked, but no words came. Then, a single tear tracked down her smooth cheek, gently caught at her jawline by Grif’s thumb.

“I love you, too, Grif.”

“Meggie ...”

With a sob she threw both arms around his neck. As Ellyn wrapped her arms around Ben’s shoulders from behind, her own tears spilled over.

Over the heads of her children, she met the burning gray look of John Griffin Junior, and in that look, she saw her future. A future with this man who knew so little about his own goodness. But was beginning to believe. She and Meg and Ben would show him, reflecting back to him the glow of his heart, until he understood completely.

Ben’s squirming brought her back to the present. “You’re leaking on my head, Mom!”

Meg, whose sobs had subsided, turned and started to giggle.

Grif stood, still not breaking the look between them.

“Meg, Ben, I’d like you to go out to your car. Your mom and I have something to talk about.”

She was aware of the kids looking at her, and she nodded. Even after the door had thudded to silence behind them, she and Grif remained where they stood.

She suddenly felt a little shy under the beam of his intensity, even though she had fought so hard to turn it on.

“Will you marry me, Ellyn?”

“Grif, you don’t have to – ”

“I do have to, or your kids will want to know the reason why.”

He smiled. Then he took two steps toward her, the familiar strength of his face drawing near as he bent closer to her. Desire and love silvered his eyes.

He cupped her face between his large palms, and kissed her. Soft and slow. She wrapped her fingers around his wrist and parted her lips. Under her fingers, she felt the surge in his pulse. They leaned into each other, the kiss became neither soft nor slow, pressing against each other until they both were left gasping for air.

“Yes, yes I do have to. Ah, Ellyn ... marry me. Help me be a hero.”

“Yes.”

At The Heart’s Command: Epilogue

“Ellyn, if you and Grif don’t get going, you’re going to miss your flight,” Kendra warned for the second time.

They had stopped by to say goodbye before they left on their week-long honeymoon in San Francisco, and had discovered a crowd. Not only Meg and Ben, who’d started their stay a day early so the newlyweds could fulfill a wish to spend their wedding night in
their
bed at Ridge House, but Marti, Emily, Fran and Luke.

“I know, I know. It’s just ... If you think the kids are going to be too much for you, you’d say, wouldn’t you?”

“Absolutely. But they won’t be. We’ll have a fine time.”

“Besides,” said Daniel, “It’ll be good for us having more kids around. A little practice before the real thing.”

“I suppose, but –Are you – ?” Ellyn looked from Kendra to Daniel and back. “You are! Why didn’t you tell me? How long? When are you due? What – ”

“If we answer all your questions, you really will be late. I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure until the past couple weeks, and you had enough to keep you occupied with the wedding and the end of school and all. The baby is due in seven months.”

That of course called for hugs all around before Kendra called the group to order. “Now, you two go have a wonderful time, and think about a little Griffin playmate for this Delligatti-to-be.”

“I like the sound of that,” approved Marti.

“I thought you would.” Kendra hugged her aunt.

“The laughter of children at Far Hills.” Marti looked at Kendra and Daniel, then to Ellyn and Grif. “Kendra’s no longer alone, and Grif has a true home. Maybe – ”

“Don’t start on that legend stuff, Marti,” Luke objected. “Besides, the third part’s about being lost, but you’ve run out of Suslands, and nobody’s lost.”

“Don’t be so sure.”

Marti refused to say more, and the press to reach Billings on time for their flight took precedence. But on the airplane, settling in after takeoff, Ellyn decided she wasn’t ready to discount Marti or the legend,

She glanced over at her husband and saw him smiling – that sweet smile in a face some might otherwise call stern, that showed his heart had been truly rescued.

“What are you smiling about, Grif?” Though she knew, because she was smiling right back at him.

“You know I’m looking forward to this. This trip. Being alone with you.” He leaned closer and kissed her softly. With his lips brushing against hers, he added, “Getting a start on making babies with you. Which better start soon, because I’m having a hard time keeping my hands off you. I should have known I’d used up all my self-control in that regard when I first got to Far Hills. Hell, I couldn’t even keep my hands off your clothes.”

“My clothes? You mean – ?” She moved back enough to look into his eyes. They told her the answer, but she still had to ask. “My jeans? Touching my jeans ...”