Her Secret Sons (9 page)

“I should have been there for you,” Luke said. “I have responsibility in this, too.” He wasn’t proud that he’d made love to Pepper and then left town without even a goodbye. A man couldn’t blame that on teenage mistakes. He wouldn’t want his teenagers to use that excuse, or behave that way.

Toby and Josh were only four years younger now than Luke and Pepper had been when they created them. It was time to start facing his life if he really wanted to present a good role model for his sons to follow.

He wanted that more than anything.

“I’m sorry I left you behind,” he told Pepper, pulling away from her. They began to walk down the street in the direction he’d seen the boys and dog joyfully heading. “Pepper, I should’ve phoned you. At the very least I should have called to see if you were all right.” He took a deep breath, glad that he was finally making this confession. “I’m sorry I didn’t. It was a jerky thing to do.”

“It’s probably turned out better this way. No regrets. At least I never had any.”

He wondered about that. How could a young girl not be afraid of facing motherhood alone? “I don’t know. I think you’re giving me the light version of the story.” He had a feeling she must have been very scared, not to even tell her brothers. Or Pansy and Helen. Pepper seemed pretty close to those two. “We should start over,” he said.

“We are,” she murmured.

“Yeah. I guess so.” They walked half a block before he spoke again. “You’re even more beautiful than you were before.”

She laughed. “I was never beautiful. Other girls in the class, yes. Me? No.”

“The most beautiful bookworm I ever saw. I always admired your intelligence. I still do.”

When she glanced up at him, he shrugged. “I haven’t done anything with my life that requires great concentration and brains, not like getting a medical degree or raising twins.”

“The boys were wondering what you do for a living,” Pepper said. “I didn’t know what to tell them.”

“My last job was working as a bodyguard for three beautiful women,” Luke said, “but that’s not a good answer for my young sons.”

Pepper stopped, staring up at him. “A bodyguard?”

He shrugged. “It was an accidental job that worked out.”

“I can’t see you standing outside dressing rooms
while women try on clothes, or watching while they eat.”

He grinned. “It was more of a terrorism gig. I kept an eye on a general and his family.”

“His beautiful family.”

“Uh-huh.” He tugged at her hair. “That’s the same tone I used when I heard you were going out in a boat with a strange guy for the Man Catch. This is a crazy idea Pansy and Helen have cooked up, by the way.”

“I think it’s wonderful,” Pepper said, “but I didn’t envision myself participating.” She frowned. “So, what are we going to tell Toby and Josh?”

“About the name change?” Luke couldn’t help smiling as he thought about their request. “That they’ve made their pop proud.”

He could feel Pepper’s intense scrutiny and decided his life was turning out very well—except for one piece. “The easiest thing on everyone would be if we get married,” he said, “but I’m not asking you twice.”

“Pretty chicken attitude for a brave bodyguard type.”

“Really?”

After a moment she stopped walking and reached up to slide her arms around his neck, pulling his face down toward hers in full view of the Tulips Saloon, the jail and every other conceivable place eyeballs were probably glued to them at this moment. She kissed Luke smack on the lips and said, “I’m game for the altar if you are.”

His heart beat hard inside his chest. “Do you consider that a proposal, Dr. Forrester?”

“It’s the best I can do, Bodyguard McGarrett. Take it or leave it.”

“I heard you were the long shot in town.”

“Funny,” she whispered, “that’s exactly what I heard about you.”

“Are we doing this for the kids?” he asked, stealing another kiss from her.

“Yes,” she said. “Fighting it is getting me nowhere.”

“Except on a boat in the middle of a lake,” Luke teased, and Pepper shuddered. “We’ll work on a better seating chart,” he suggested.

“We’ll work on a better
sleeping
chart,” Pepper retorted, which made him grin like crazy until she added, “This is just for the sake of the children, because it’s a small town and because they’ll be happier.”

A fake marriage? Pretending to be something he wasn’t? “I accept your proposal,” he said, “and the conditions.”

For now.
He was winning the mother of his children—he could just feel it.

He was
still
lucky.

But it was going to take more than luck to pull off keeping Pepper married—she’d turned into more of a commitment-phobe than he’d ever been. “Let’s make it soon,” he said.
Before you get a case of cold feet that can’t be cured.

“I’
M GETTING MARRIED
,” Pepper told Duke and Zach the next day as they sat around the table at the ranch. Liberty and Jessica played with the kids and Molly ran around, happy to have children at the ranch. Toby
and Josh, who had taken the news with delighted grins, were enjoying playing with their cousins.

“Married?” Duke said.

“Married?” Zach repeated.

“You act like you’ve never heard the word in this house,” Pepper said defensively.

“Not said by you,” Duke said. “Can we assume the lucky guy is Luke?”

“Yes.” She felt good about this decision. “We’re eloping this weekend.”

Duke and Zach sat there quietly dumbfounded. Pepper loved the fact that she’d caught them off guard for a change.

“Eloping,” Duke repeated. “The gang will not be happy.”

“That’s okay,” Pepper said. “It’s my life.”

“True,” Zach said, “but I warn you, they’ll make you do it again if you don’t satisfy their need for a full-blown wedding.”

“So, where’s the happy groom?” Duke demanded. “Shouldn’t he be part of this wedding announcement?”

“He had a thousand chores to do with his dad,” she said airily. “But he sent his regards.”

Duke frowned. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” Pepper stood. “The boys are thrilled.”

Pansy and Helen and Hiram and Bug and Holt would be thrilled. Bill McGarrett would be thrilled. Everyone would be happy that she and Luke had worked everything out for the sake of their sons.

She went off to join Liberty and Jessica and the children, and it struck her that she fit in, at last.

Nobody would ever know that it was just a facade, a picture of married happiness, not the real thing.

P
EPPER AND
L
UKE GOT
married at a tiny chapel in Las Vegas. It was the same one where Jessica and Zach had gotten married, because they said that would be lucky, and Luke had jumped on the idea. Pepper was so nervous she almost felt like a real bride instead of a participant in a mock wedding.

“I’m glad you talked me into this,” Luke whispered as the organist readied her sheet music and the pastor cleared his throat.

“The second proposal did the trick,” Pepper said.

He nodded, patting her hand. “You’re a beautiful bride.”

“You’re a handsome groom.”

Luke wished the minister—or whatever he was—would hurry up. If someone didn’t say
I do
and
You’re married
soon, he was pretty certain the bride next to him would disappear in a puff of bridal nerves. She was trembling, for heaven’s sake, as if it was real and mattered. The moment women and men waited for all their lives—that special, magical instant when two people became one.

He was feeling pretty darn sentimental about the whole thing. Of course, he was planning on forever, so that skewed his appreciation of the ceremony. Pepper was looking for instant gratification and no sentiment.
It’s the doctor in her,
he told himself.
Everything is always procedural.

He didn’t care. He was almost wed to the mother
of his children, and marriage for appearances or not, she was going to be his.

The ceremony ended after a few perfunctory “I do’s.” Lacking a wave of a wand and a pronouncement of happily ever after, Luke kissed the hell out of Pepper and scooped her up to carry her down the chapel steps. “Hello, Mrs. Pepper McGarrett. Dr. Pepper McGarrett, I should say.”

Her lips curved with amusement. He set her down so he could kiss her again, but she pulled away faster than he liked.

“You make me sound like a soda pop,” she said. “Just Pepper McGarrett will be fine.”

He laughed. “You and the boys—I got all of you named McGarrett with one simple ‘I do.’ Pretty cool, in my opinion.”

“Very efficient of you.”

“Speaking of efficiency, I’ve rigged the Man Catch. You’re sitting with me.”

She smiled. “You saved me.”

“The boys want to go fishing with us. We’re breaking the spirit of the fish-off, but family first, I always say.”

“That’s one thing we agree on.”

“Yes. Now, the honeymoon begins.” He squinted up at the hotels surrounding them. “Can I talk you into a heart-shaped tub? They probably have those here.”

Pepper shook her head. “No bathing suit.”

Luke grinned. “None required.”

To his surprise, his brand-new bride blushed prac
tically strawberry. “Okay,” he suggested, “let’s go get some ice cream instead. Would you like that?”

“Yes,” she said, losing some of the pink, and he reminded himself to slow down. The hard part was over.

They had the rest of their lives for him to lure her into heart-shaped bathtubs.

P
EPPER WAS THRILLED
to be married, and it wasn’t just for Toby and Josh, who were ecstatic to have the family they’d always dreamed of and a father who loved them. Secretly, she had developed a craving for her husband she didn’t dare admit.

She realized the craving had probably begun when he’d told the boys his name was theirs if they wanted it. When he’d made another nonserious marriage proposal, Pepper had jumped on it. When did a woman get another chance at a man who understood the needs of young boys’ hearts?

She’d always been crazy about Luke McGarrett. Nothing had changed over the years, though she wouldn’t have confessed that to a soul.

Luke moved into her house. Immediately, he began making changes, while she worked in her clinic. One night she came home and the boys had beds. Not just any beds, but ones with headboards and complete sets of dark brown bedding with gold cording—Ralph Lauren masculine. On the wall were framed black-and-white pictures of the boys three-wheeling with Luke.

Another night she came home and found a bas
ketball hoop drying in cement near the driveway. Perfect for b-ball, Luke had told her. Did she want to play one-on-one with the three of them?

She couldn’t figure out that math, so passed, content to spy on them from the kitchen window.

He was having a great time with the twins, and they in turn thrived under Luke’s attention. A lump formed in her throat as she watched them try to outwit each other.

She didn’t think she could ever get enough of watching him interact with her sons.
Our sons,
she reminded herself.

As for beds, she and Luke slept in the same one, though he never touched her. The marriage was for appearances only, as they’d agreed. For the three nights they’d been married, Pepper didn’t think she’d slept a wink. She could feel Luke’s heat and his strong body calling to her, and there was nothing she would have loved more than to curl up with him.

I want to make love with him.

The longing had been consuming her for days. It was beginning to obliterate the sane reasons she had agreed to the marriage. The dizzying roller-coaster ride of their relationship threatened to plunge her into sexual desire so intense she could barely think. So at night, she lay awake listening to his even breathing, imagining his bare chest rising and falling.

It was four o’clock in the morning now, and all she could do was want her husband.

“Mom,” Toby whispered, from the door of the bedroom she shared with Luke.

“What is it, son?” Raising up, she peered through in the darkness.

“Josh doesn’t feel well.”

“All right. I’ll be right there.” She moved to the side of the bed and reached for her robe, shocked to feel Luke’s hand close over her arm.

“Where are you going?”

“Josh is sick.”

“I’ll go.” He got up, and before she could say anything, he left the room.

But I’m the doctor.
The protest died on her lips as she realized how completely Luke intended to be a father to his children.

So she waited to be called.

“It’s all right,” he said, coming back into the room and sliding into bed. She glimpsed a flash of bare chest and pajama bottoms, and caught her breath. “He had a bad dream. A glass of water and some guy talk chased it away.”

“What was it about?”

Luke patted the bed. “Lie down and rest. He can tell you in the morning. We didn’t talk about it.”

“Why not?” Pepper felt that talking about the dream would have probably helped her son.

“He just needed to go back to sleep,” Luke said. “No point in reliving it and keeping him up over it. I gave him a glass of water, rubbed his back and told him to call us if he needed us.”

Pepper lay in the dark, silently admiring the brisk way men dealt with their feelings. “Thank you,” she murmured.

“No thanks needed,” he said, sounding surprised. He rolled over to stare down at her. She could feel his heat, oh, so tantalizingly close to her. “Pepper, just because you and I have a funky marriage agreement thing going on doesn’t mean I intend to short-circuit my dad duties.”

“I know,” she said softly.

“All right, then. Quit acting like every small thing I do for the boys is a miracle. They’re mine. I love them. Relax, babe.”

He rolled away and she missed his nearness immediately.

Relax.

Impossible.

The day of the Man Catch was beautiful, with blue skies and not-too-hot temperatures. “A perfect day for fishing,” Pepper told the boys, hustling them into their swim trunks and water shoes.

“Is Luke coming?” Josh asked.

“Of course. He’s changing.” She left their bedroom every day when he showered and changed, too afraid of the intimacy. It would make their marriage seem real, and she didn’t want to risk that.

There were too many other feelings coming to light that were risky enough. Love, for instance, Pepper thought as Luke walked out of the bedroom in blue jeans, bare feet and no shirt.

“Is there a particular dress for this occasion?” he asked. “To differentiate the caught from the uncaught males?” He grinned at Pepper. “I don’t want to go in the wrong pond.”

“Very funny,” she said, thinking she, too, didn’t want him in the wrong pond.

The boys giggled, not really understanding the
byplay but enjoying the light mood between their parents.

“Stick with us, Dad,” Toby said, “we’ll keep you safe.”

Luke smiled. “Thanks. It’s your mother’s job to stake a claim on me.”

Pepper stared at him. “I don’t even have a good reply for that,” she said, making the boys and Luke laugh.

“It is a Man Catch,” Luke pointed out. “We, however, are going to catch either the biggest fish we can find or lots of little ones.”

“It’s going to be fun,” Josh exclaimed, and Pepper went back to packing the lunch basket, completely unsettled by Luke’s comment. Stake a claim on him? Was he hinting about something or was she reading too much into his teasing?

Men definitely didn’t talk like that unless they wanted something, she decided, tossing in a few extra apples and a bottle of wine for her and Luke. And the only thing Luke could want was…sex.

She glanced at him when she knew he wasn’t looking. Sex was a good idea, definitely one with lots of appeal. He had long, strong legs, a muscled body…
It would be great. It would be heavenly.

But that would take their marriage to a different level. No longer could it be called a marriage for the boys’ sakes. It would be for their sakes, a completely new relationship than what they’d agreed to.

The twins ran outside. Luke ambled over to inspect the picnic basket. “So, about the attire today.”

She made herself look up at him, a very hard thing to do since she had a sudden attack of shyness. “I think you’ll be too hot in jeans. Maybe swim trunks or shorts?”

“Are you wearing a swimsuit?” He looked at her sundress.

“I’m not planning on swimming,” Pepper said. “Fishing is enough for me.”

“Swimming as a family is fun,” Luke countered. “I bought a couple of plastic rafts.”

“You did?” She was surprised.

He nodded. “You can float while I teach the boys the joys of baiting a hook. But floating on a raft requires a bathing suit.” He winked. “I’m looking forward to seeing you in one.”

He made her distinctly nervous. “About staking my claim…” Pepper said, and Luke raised his brows. “I’m not sure I would know how.”

“That is a problem,” he murmured. “We’ll have to help you work on that.”

He was no help at all, she decided, and probably no help on purpose. “I think the least you could do, since I’m going to surrender to your swimsuit request, is tell me what it is exactly that you want. Or if you were just making amusing early morning chitchat.”

He looked at her. “You,” he said. “That’s all I want.”

Well, that was clear enough, Pepper thought, her heart racing deliciously. “Married a few days and regretting the terms?” she asked.

“Not regretting,” he said, squatting down next to
her, “just thinking I let you go too easily.” He kissed her, and Pepper knew exactly what Luke wanted her to know: the sex between them would be fantastic.

“I plan on taking very good care of you,” he said a moment later, and Pepper felt herself pull back slightly from the edge she’d nearly fallen over. She shook her head.

“Luke, I’m not looking for anyone to take care of me,” she said. “That’s not what I want from you.”

He swept her hair back over her shoulders with a smile. “I meant in bed, Miss Independent.”

“Oh.” She hoped she wasn’t blushing as much as it felt like she was.

“Let’s hit the lake,” Luke said, “or I’m going to need a cold shower.”

“Fishing or sex,” Pepper murmured when he’d left the room. She finished packing the basket, trying to calm her suddenly trembling fingers. “I guess it all involves a hook of some kind.” But she’d been thinking about sex, too, Pepper admitted. Luke was irresistible, and lying beside his nearly nude body every night was ruining her sleep.

He’d only voiced what she’d been thinking about.

Marital intimacy would make their marriage real. Right now she had the comfort of a wall of pretense. Why was she afraid of commitment? Wasn’t that supposed to be a man’s cop-out?

Luke had called her on it, and she knew they were facing the first real hurdle in their new life together. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to make love, and it
wasn’t that she wasn’t attracted to him.
New home, new work, new marriage.

But the changes weren’t it, either. She was simply afraid of falling irreparably in love with her husband—as she had when she was a girl. She’d never really reconciled the pain of losing her first love. Having him back in her life, Pepper realized, was almost scarier than the first time. He was a natural wanderer, and though she knew he wouldn’t leave this time, because of Toby and Josh, she couldn’t know for certain that he wouldn’t leave her heartbroken again.

She felt unformed, somehow juvenile and scarred in her ability to love. There was very little she was wary of in life, but she was afraid of falling head over heels in love with Luke and losing him once more.

Then again, he’d been talking about sex, something she’d been thinking about nonstop since they’d married.

She went to change into her swimsuit.

P
EPPER HAD NEVER SEEN
so many fishing boats in one place. The lake was dotted with them. “I feel like I should be helping Pansy and Helen,” she told Luke. “They have to be running around like mad.” The Man Catch day was certainly a success, if the number of boats were any indication.

“Valentine and some of her hairstylist friends came out from Union Junction.” Luke helped Pepper into the boat, his strong hands guiding her. “Pansy and Helen specifically said you were to be a partici
pant. I just chose to marry you before someone else could reel you in.”

Toby and Josh giggled about that. Pepper smiled. “Funny, I don’t feel reeled in. I feel like I caught a winner.”

“Good.” Luke untied the boat and pushed them away from the dock. “This is an excellent day for catching us a whopper, kids.”

It felt so right, so family, Pepper thought, enjoying watching Luke steer the boat toward a place he called his “secret, giant-fish-catching hideout.” Togetherness had been so easy to fall into. She watched the excited grins on the boys’ faces as the boat tore across the open water. Pepper sat on the rafts to keep them from blowing out, and decided life was getting more perfect all the time.

She didn’t really think Luke had a secret, giant-fish-catching hideout, but he surprised her, pulling into a cove where no other boats were present. “This is a secret?”

“Yep. Dad and I used to come here when I was young. He said he would have come today, but he didn’t want to thwart the young pups in their dreams of glory.”

Pepper smiled. “He looks like he’s feeling a lot better.”

“He is.” Luke glanced at her as he secured the rafts to ropes and tossed them out. “There you go, my lady. A floating bed fit for a mermaid.”

She dived over the side and hoisted herself onto one. “This is perfect. Who’s the other float for?”

“Me, when the boys wear me out.”

She didn’t think that was likely to happen anytime soon. Luke showed the twins how to set the hooks, and for the next hour, they sat quietly. Pepper was glad of the shade in the cove.

“You know, boys,” Luke said, “there used to be a granddad fish in here so big you’d hardly be able to lift him. It would take a net.”

“What kind is he?” Toby asked.

“Some old lake fish that’s survived countless people trying to hook him.” Luke peered into the water. “He’s too smart to get caught.”

Pepper adjusted her sunglasses, amused by the fisherman’s lore.

“Dad and I saw him once,” Luke said. “He swam under our boat before we could net him. We never saw him again.”

“He’s probably dead by now,” Josh said.

“Maybe,” Luke replied. “But you never know. Some creatures can live a long time if humans leave them alone.”

“Probably too old to make a good meal,” Toby said, and Luke nodded.

“But we could win with it,” Josh said.

“You hold your lines. I’m going to go float next to your mom. She looks lonely over there. Mermaids should never be lonely, especially one wearing a slinky red swimsuit.”

He dived over the side, guaranteeing that any fish that might have been near retreated to the bottom of the lake, Pepper thought with a grin. She heard Luke
clamber up on the other raft, then hers was jerked close to it. “Hi,” he said.

“I heard you telling fish tales,” Pepper murmured.

“I never tell tales,” Luke retorted. “The truth is important.”

“Boy Scout,” she murmured. “Who would have guessed?” But she was glad Luke possessed a strong character and inner compass. The boys would learn a lot from him.

“I
THINK
D
AD TOLD US
about the giant grandpa fish just to keep us staring down into the water,” Josh said.

“So we wouldn’t watch him and Mom the whole time.” Toby grinned. “We should thump their rafts.”

Josh considered that. “Nah. He might get mad and go home.”

Toby didn’t think so. There was nothing tugging on the end of his line, and he wondered if fishing was just an excuse for adults to float and sneak a nap. “Luke’s always going to be with us. He’s our dad.”

Josh nodded. “Mom’s a lot happier now.”

“Look at my bobber,” Toby whispered. “It’s moving!”

They sat very still, breathlessly watching. It moved again, then suddenly the line pulled so hard Toby nearly lost his fishing rod. “Dad!”

Josh tried to help him hang on to it. Toby could hear his father yelling to hold on tight, but also give the line some slack, so he tried with all his might. Whatever was pulling on it was huge!

Together the boys managed to hold on until Luke swam to the boat to help. Even his mother got in the boat to watch, and Toby was certain it was the coolest moment of his life. Having your family watch you make your first big catch was awesome.

It took them a full ten minutes to pull the fish into the boat, and when they did, they were amazed.

“It’s the grandpa,” Josh said in awe.

“Maybe,” Luke said, “or a very near relative.”

“Man, Toby, you’re going to win!” Josh said.

He looked at the fish flopping around in the bottom of the boat. “Mom, quick. Please take a picture of me and Josh and our fish for Granddad.”

Pepper hurriedly snapped two pictures, and Toby said, “Put him back in the water, Dad. Please.”

“You don’t want to win?” Luke asked.

“Naw,” Toby said. “He’s been down there for years. I’d rather know he’s still swimming around free. Maybe one day one of my kids’ll catch one of his.”

Luke gently unhooked the fish, setting it carefully into the water. With a flip of its tail, the fish swam under the boat.

“Wow,” Josh exclaimed, “that was crazy cool.”

Toby smiled. “Thanks, Dad,” he said simply. He didn’t need to rob the lake of a fish to catch a man—he’d caught a dad.

That was the best prize of all.

L
UKE WAS PROUD
of his boys. At the end of the day, they helped him dock the boat and pack their rods
into the truck. All around them giggles and laughter flowed from happy participants, and a Fish Queen and King of Tulips were crowned.

As far as he was concerned, he’d caught the most beautiful lady for himself. Or at least he was working on it, and she seemed to be slowly allowing him to romance her.

Her heart was still focused on her boys, and Luke understood he was going to have to earn his place in there with them.

He was about to load Pepper and the twins into the truck and head for home for some grilling out and maybe some wine and hopefully some romance when he heard a voice call, “Hi, Luke.”

He turned to see the general and his daughters smiling at him. Beside him, he felt Pepper go perfectly still. “Hi!” he exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

Of course he gave the girls hugs, because he’d lived with them for a year, and he shook the general’s hand with genuine happiness, realizing that his old life and his new one were colliding.

“We’ve come to talk you into taking your old job back, Luke,” the eldest daughter, Amelia, said. “We miss you!”