Her Perfect Man (14 page)

“Good to see you. Take care.”

She dipped her chin in acknowledgment. “You, too. Bye.”

They parted, Dale rolling his cart toward the crackers, Kim heading toward the cereals. The contents of her stomach, sour and hot, rose into her esophagus, and she swallowed hard to force it back down.

She went dead still, staring down into her cart as numbness dissolved into quivering rage. She squeezed her trembling hands into fists, clenched her jaw to stop her teeth from chattering.

What. The. Fuck?

How could he do that? Just act as though nothing had happened between them, as though they were just two people who’d barely known each other?

There were too many questions, questions that had eaten at her for years. Too many things she couldn’t make sense of.

And he thought he’d get by with a
hello, how are you, here’s a picture of my kids?
Oh, no. Hell, no.

Thrusting the cart ahead of her, she scanned the aisles and found him in the produce section, feeling up the oranges. She parked her shopping cart near the greens and stormed over to him.

Fuck the preliminaries. “What happened?”

Dale’s mouth fell open as he gaped at her, the orange still in his hand. “What?”

She stepped closer, crowding him, keeping her voice low. “I want to know what happened when we were in high school. What happened to
you
—”

“Jesus, Kim.” He glanced about nervously, as though afraid they were being watched. “You want to talk about that here?”

“Yeah.” She plucked the orange from his fingers and tossed it back on the pile. “Right here, right now. Why’d you change? One minute we were tight, then I turn around and you’re treating me like shit.

Like I’ve got cooties or the fucking plague or something.”

“Come on, Kim. We were just kids. I’m sorry I acted like that, but come on, I was scared—”

Kim exploded. “
You
were scared?” She didn’t know whether to laugh or punch him in the face.

“How the hell do you think I felt?”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. But what was I supposed to do? It wasn’t like I could marry you. And when you stopped coming to school, I didn’t know what to think.”

“My parents pulled me out.” She sucked in a deep breath to steady herself. All right, he had a point. He’d been sixteen when she turned up pregnant, hardly a mature adult. Maybe he couldn’t have done a hell of a lot to help. But at least he could have stuck by her. “They hit the roof when they found out I was pregnant. They kept me out of circulation until they could
deal with the problem
.”

Dale’s mouth crimped and he looked away.

“But I was only gone three weeks.” Suddenly, she was that fifteen year old again, the pain and loneliness still fresh. “And when I came back, you were over me. So over me you even had a new girlfriend.” Kim winced at the plaintive note in her voice. God, just how pathetic was she?

“Yeah,” he said softly, his face reddening.

“Lynnette told me she tried to talk to you, but you just blew her off.” Lynnette, her best bud, who always had her back. Kim’s parents had watched her like hawks when they pulled her out of school, but Kim had managed to sneak one phone call to Lynnette, pleading with her to talk to Dale.

The color drained from his face, leaving it a dull yellow. “She told you that?”

Kim’s heart bumped painfully. “Yeah. You mean she didn’t?” The words felt sticky in her mouth.

What? She never talked to him? All this time she let me think…

Dale gave a laugh that sounded more like a bark. “Oh, she talked to me all right.”

Her skin prickled with cold fear. “What?”

“She told me you didn’t want the baby. That you weren’t even sure I was the father.”

Kim was numb. “Why? Why’d she do that?”

“You’re asking me? She was supposed to be
your friend.”

It made no sense . Why would Lynnette have told such a horrible lie?

“It wasn’t true.”

Dale nodded, but he wouldn’t meet her gaze. “I didn’t believe her at first. But then I thought if it wasn’t my kid, it wasn’t my responsibility.”

And it wasn’t his problem
.

The sick look on his face made her suddenly realize:
There’s more
. Her stomach bottomed out.

“Then what?”

He squirmed, but she’d cornered him. His shoulders slumped and he gave a defeated sigh.

“Then she came on to me.”

Kim felt as though she were in a vacuum. All the air in the room had been sucked away. She could see but couldn’t hear, couldn’t breathe. Dale’s lips moved but only bits and pieces came through.

“Said she felt bad for me…”

“She always thought I was hot…”

“I deserved better than you…”

Kim could stand no more. “Lynnette.
She
was the new girlfriend.”

Dale’s face flamed. “She told me a lot of shit I wanted to hear. And she was hot. I mean, you were cute, but she was…” He glanced at her hesitantly.

“Yeah. Hot.”

“I knew she was your friend and all, but it kind of turned me on to think that she wanted me enough to go against you.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I mean, it was all on the low, but kind of cool to have a dirty secret like that.”

Kim couldn’t feel her lips. “How long?”

“Not long. Just a few weeks. Then she just dropped me. No explanation, nothing.” His expression changed, as though he too was a teenager again feeling the sting of that sudden rejection. All this time later, a little part of him still hurt.

“Like I was nothing,” Dale went on. “It was cold.”

Kim stared at him, stunned. Did he expect sympathy? From
her
? “It was never about you,” she told him with matter-of-fact cruelty. “It was
me
she wanted to fuck over.”

He hesitated then nodded his head as though he understood. Which was ridiculous, because if Kim didn’t understand, how could he?

Suddenly she thought of that saying,
be careful what you wish for.
She’d wanted answers and now…

Now she needed more answers. From the only person who could give them to her. Lynnette.

She had turned away, but looked back when he called her name. “I just want you to know that I don’t blame you.”

She blinked. “Blame me…” His words pierced the fog surrounding her. “For what? Getting pregnant?” She managed to feel a spurt of anger.

“You were the one who didn’t want to use a rubber, remember?”

“Not that.” His gaze swept the area as he lowered his voice. “I meant the abortion.”

For the second time in the past few minutes, Kim was speechless. Dale’s remark left her pole-axed, incapable of a response.

And the guy did not know when to shut the hell up. “I mean, when you came to school, you weren’t pregnant anymore. So I just figured…you know. And I guess I was relieved. That I wouldn’t be on the hook for child support or whatever. I just wanted to live my life, graduate, all that.”

She still hadn’t found her voice. She was a glacier. But underneath all that ice lay a volcano bubbling with the red-hot lava of rage.

“But when my boys were born, it started me thinking. You know, that I might have had another kid, too. I mean, if you hadn’t—”

“Uh-huh.” That utterance was all she could manage, because her face was as stiff as new leather.

“That’s when it really started to bother me.” He shook his head. “It shouldn’t be so easy for you women to do that. But I’ve had time to think, and I’ve forgiven you…”

“Gee, thanks.” Anger had restored Kim’s voice.

She tilted her head, regarded him. Smiled. “You know something, Dale? You’re a real asshole.”

She marched back to her shopping cart, still parked between the spinach and the collards. She grasped the handle, stood a moment. Then, with a mighty heave, she slammed her cart into his.

“Oof!” Dale’s cart flew back, the handle catching him in the gut. He stumbled back in pain and surprise, his eyes saucers. A woman holding a cabbage stared at them, her mouth agape.
Enjoy the show, sweetheart.

“You don’t blame me, huh? That’s mighty fuckin’

big of you. Where the hell were you, anyway, when I needed you? When I was scared shitless to tell my parents? When they were telling me what an irresponsible slut I was? Huh? Where were you?”

She rammed the cart again, enjoying the clash it made. “Oh, that’s right. You were off screwing my best friend.”

Her mouth twisted in disgust. “
You
were relieved. Y
ou
were bothered. You
forgive
me. Well, fuck you.” She smashed the carts one more time.

The cabbage lady hadn’t moved a muscle.

“You think what I went through was
easy
? You don’t know shit, Dale. I could tell you just how fucking
easy
it was, but I don’t feel like wasting another precious second of my life with you.”

Kim left the cart in the aisle. The groceries, Dale, the cabbage lady were all left behind as she walked out of the store. The only thing she couldn’t leave behind was the rage.

It was pure dumb luck she didn’t kill herself or someone else on the way to Lynnette’s, because Kim had no memory of the drive. She pulled into the lot of her
friend’s
housing project, screeching the tires.

She slammed her car door and bounded up the front steps to bang on Lynnette’s door. People sitting on their front stoops and tiny patches of lawn stared at the crazy bitch pounding at their neighbor’s door.

Well, good for them. She was prepared to put on quite a show.

No answer. But Lynnette’s red Honda was parked nearby, so she had to be home.

Tired of thumping, Kim leaned on the bell.

Hard.

The buzzer sounded inside, loud and obnoxious.

Kim kept pressing it.
Answer the door, bitch. Let me in. Goddamnit, I’m getting in if I have to climb through a frigging window.

She wasn’t going anywhere until they had this out
.
“Lynnette!” The neighbors made no bones about watching, and a few more came out to witness the drama. A little excitement to break up a boring summer afternoon.

People murmured and commented to each other.

“Hey, lady,” one shirtless dude hollered. “You gonna break down the door?”

She felt just pissed off enough to do that. She gave the guy a twisted grin. “Stick around and find out.” He and a few others laughed.

In another part of town, someone might have called the police. But in this neighborhood, the cops were viewed with suspicion and only contacted when gunshots were fired or screams were heard.

“What’d she do?” somebody else yelled.

“Gotta be a man,” one woman put in, and a few people nodded in agreement while others peered on with great interest.

Two women getting into it over a guy was no big thing and in fact, a fine source of entertainment.

The door suddenly flew open, and Lynnette appeared wearing a short satin robe. “What the hell?

Kim, what do you want?”

“Let me in.”

“What? No. Somebody’s here.”

Kim pushed past her. “Too bad.” She heard groans of disappointment outside as Lynnette slammed the door, depriving the spectators of their hoped-for cat fight.

Lynnette’s short blonde hair was mussed, her lipstick smeared, her expression pissed. Kim’s mouth twisted into a grim smile. “You entertaining your boyfriend?”

“None of your business.”

“Shit, Lynnette, you could at least let your married guy treat you to a fancy hotel instead of skeezing around here with him. Or doesn’t he want to be seen with you in public?”

Lynnette’s face went red, but instead of defending herself or her boyfriend, she just pulled her belt robe tighter. “What do you want?”

“To talk to you.” She glanced around. “Where’s T.J.?”

“With Tommy.” Her mouth puckered as though the words were sour.

Good old Lynnette. Dumping off her son with her cousin so she could get it on with Mr. Married Moneybags.

“I saw Dale today. At GoodSavings.”

Lynnette stilled and her face went white, her eyes baby-round. “Dale?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. Dale Novak. My old boyfriend. That is, he
was
my boyfriend before you started fucking him.”

“Oh.” Lynnette’s glance skittered right, then left, but wouldn’t meet Kim’s. “Well, come on, Kim. I mean we were all kids then. Don’t tell me you’re still in love with him or some crazy shit like that—”

“
I don’t give a shit about Dale Novak!
” Whatever bit of love she might have harbored for him as her first was completely gone, erased by his selfishness.

None of that mattered at all. “I want to know how you could have done that to me. Lie about me. Say he wasn’t the baby’s father. You knew how scared I was. You knew what my parents were like. You and Tommy were my only friends. I needed you, and you turned on me. How could you do that?” Her voice quivered. The anger that had gotten her here had vanished. Now she could only feel hurt and betrayal.

“Um, sit down.” Lynnette gestured to the small table in the kitchen, still avoiding Kim’s gaze. “I’ll get us something to drink.”

Kim ground her teeth. “I’m not thirsty.”

As though she hadn’t heard, Lynnette took two glasses from the cupboard and a bottle of ginger ale from the fridge. She poured them each a glass of soda and sat down. “So I guess he couldn’t wait to put it all on me, huh? Tell you it was all my fault.

Yeah, right. Throw me under the bus.” Tossing her head back, she glared at Kim as though she, Lynnette, was the injured party. “Look, I don’t remember exactly what I told him. It was a long time ago, you know? But I do remember I didn’t have to say much to convince him. And I didn’t have to push hard to get him to fuck me.”

Kim felt dizzy and nauseous as her friend took a drink. Utterly bewildered. “Why? We were supposed to be friends. Did you really hate me that much?”

Lynnette clapped the glass hard on the table.

“Get over yourself Kim! I never
hated
you. God!”

“Then why?”