Her Fantasy Husband (Things to Do Before You Die) (15 page)

“And you came back? You crazy?”

He grinned. “Just feeling nostalgic.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Look it up.”

He jumped off the wall, gave the building one last glance, and strode away. There was no going back. But maybe he could go forward. The first step was understanding where he wanted to be.

A vision of Lexi flashed through his mind, followed by a long ago memory of Evie, blond-haired and blue-eyed and super-cute, holding her arms out to him. He pulled out his phone and did a search for the number of the local social services, then punched it in.

“Can I help you?”

“Yeah. My sister was adopted eleven years ago. She’ll be eighteen now. I want to know how I go about contacting her.”

Chapter Fifteen

Lexi wandered around the house as though in a daze.

He was gone, and he wasn’t coming back.

Now she had to get through this. And she would. She’d done it before, long ago, when her parents had been killed. She’d do it again.

For once she had the place to herself, and she was glad. They were all being so careful around her.

Josh had been right. She’d been in total denial about the fact that she needed something. Again, a hang up from losing her parents. She subconsciously associated need with loss.

Or rather, she had been in denial until he’d come into her life for real.

Then it was impossible to ignore. But maybe these feelings were inevitable. She’d put her life on hold when she married Josh. But everyone needed someone. Everyone needed to be the most important person in the world to someone else. She was no different. Now she had to accept that for her, that someone else was never going to be Josh.

But she hated the thought of him accepting that he had to be alone, that he didn’t deserve love. He had so much to give.

She’d allow herself today to mope, and then she would get back up, dust herself off, deal with her grandmother and anything else that came her way.

She lay on the sofa where Josh had slept and burrowed her face in the cushion trying to get a brief scent of him, but he was gone. Her phone rang, and she grabbed it up and stared at the number. But she didn’t recognize it, and her heart sank. No good hoping.

“Hello. Lexi Slater here.”

The other end was silent for a moment, though she could hear someone breathing.

“Hello?”

“Hello.” A girl’s voice. “My name’s Evelyn. I think you might be married to my brother.”

…

All he could do now was wait. They’d told him it would take time. They had to contact Evelyn and her family and find out if she wanted to see him.

Would she?

He really had no clue.

But he hoped.

He was heading to his office when his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and stared at the number. Lexi.

Did she want to talk about the divorce? No way. He wasn’t ready to talk about it, and he certainly wasn’t ready to do it.

He put the phone away without answering.

It rang again ten minutes later. Then five minutes. This time he took a deep breath and pressed the button.

“Josh?” She sounded almost breathless, excited.

“What is it?”

“Your sister called. She’s trying to find you.”

For a moment he couldn’t process the words. “I don’t understand. I just talked to social services, they told me it could take weeks.”

“You did? That’s wonderful, Josh. But she didn’t call because of social services. She hired a private detective to find you—apparently it wasn’t difficult.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“Well, do. It must have been Evelyn who employed your friend. She’d promised her parents she’d wait until she was eighteen, and then she did it on her birthday.”

He rubbed a hand around the back of his neck, trying to take it all in.

“Josh?”

“Yeah. I’m just…” He shook his head. “She wants to see me? Really?”

“She’s on her way here now.”

“What? Shit.” Christ, he smelled like he’d been on an all-night bender, and he was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday. He hadn’t shaved or showered or…
Jesus.

“It will be okay, Josh. She’s never forgotten you.”

He stood in the middle of the street, panic and hope and a thousand memories battling inside him. “I’m on my way.”

A yellow Mini was parked in the drive. The sight stopped him in his tracks. She was here. He scrubbed a hand over the rough skin of his jaw as he came to a halt.

He could do this.

Lexi opened the door as he climbed the steps. “She’s here, Josh, and she’s lovely, and she looks exactly like you.” She held the door open for him, but stepped past as he entered.

“Are you going somewhere?”

“I thought I’d let you two have some time together. And…”

“And…?”

“Well, it seems to be a day for sorting out family stuff. I thought I’d go sort out my own.”

“You’re going to see your grandmother?”

“Yes. Wish me luck.”

“You want me to come? I mean, after I talk to my sister?”

“No, it’s something I have to do alone.”

He nodded. He could understand that. “Call me if you need anything.”

“I will.” At the last minute she rested a hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. “You’re a good man. She knows that.”

He found her in the kitchen, bending down stroking one of the dogs. He paused in the doorway to watch her. She was recognizable from the thirteen-year-old he had seen five years ago, but all grown up. A beautiful young woman, with long sun-kissed blond hair. She straightened and turned, then stared at him with dark blue eyes so like his own.

For a minute they studied each other. She was tall and slender, but he could make out the lingering remnants of the child she’d been, and something twisted inside him.

“Josh?”

He gave a nod.

She took a step toward him, reached out, and touched his cheek. “I remember you.”

“You do?”

“Of course.” She bit her lip. “Are you okay with me being here? My parents told me I had to be prepared for the fact that maybe you wouldn’t want to see me. Wouldn’t care.”

“I care.”

“I told them you would. I remember how you looked after me, but I worried that you might have forgotten.”

He rolled up his sleeve and showed her the tattoo on his forearm. “Though I wouldn’t have forgotten. You were the one good thing in my life.”

She blinked away a tear. “God, we’re going to get maudlin. I can see it.”

“No, we won’t. I’m so happy to see you.” He opened his arms, and she stepped into them, and he hugged her close. Finally, he held her away from him. “Sit down. I’ll make us both a coffee. We can talk.”

“Lexi told me you were in the army,” she said, taking a seat at the table and resting her head on her hands as she watched him move around the kitchen. He couldn’t believe how comfortable he felt with her. He’d expected a level of awkwardness that wasn’t there. “And that you have medals and everything.”

“One medal and a few scars. I joined after you were adopted. There wasn’t a lot else I could do. I was seventeen and had totally flunked at school.”

“That’s because you were looking after me. I know what you did for me, how you took care of me. I can hardly remember our mother.”

He gave a rueful smile. “Probably best that way. You plan to look her up?”

“I don’t think so. Do you ever see her?”

For a second, he hesitated, taking his time filling the mugs from the coffee pot as he considered his answer. She was Evie’s mother after all. Maybe they should have a chance. But he knew deep down that their mother would never care for anyone but herself. Better Evie understood that now. “No. Though she contacted me a couple of years ago.”

“She wanted to see you?”

“Hell, no. Someone had told her I was doing okay. She wanted money.”

“And you told her where to go, I hope.”

“Sort of. I gave her the money and told her to stay the hell away from me.” He took a sip of coffee. “What about your new family?”

“They’re wonderful. I got lucky, I guess. And I have a younger brother and sister as well. Both adopted like me.”

“That’s good. I’m glad it worked out for you.”

“They want to meet you. Will you and Lexi come for dinner one night?”

“I’d like that.” Though he didn’t mention that Lexi would likely be out of his life by then. He didn’t want to think about that, let alone put it into words.

“And you? How are you doing? Lexi seems wonderful, and I love your house.”

“It’s Lexi’s house.”

“But she’s your wife.”

“It’s complicated.”

She studied him, her head cocked to one side. “Tell me.”

And somehow he found himself telling her the whole story of how he’d married Lexi for money. Well, maybe not the whole thing. He still couldn’t put into words how he felt.

She placed her mug on the table and pursed her lips. “So you’re going to give up and just walk away?”

“It’s what we agreed.” And he didn’t do emotional attachments. And he needed to walk away before he got in too deep. He’d promised himself he would never give anyone that power over him again, because it led to nothing but pain.

Except here was Evie. She’d never forgotten him, and she loved him.

“Yes,” Evie said. “But that was before you fell in love with her.”

He sat for a moment, staring at his hands. Of course he fucking loved her. Christ, he was already in way too deep, over his head and drowning. It had probably been too late that first moment when he’d stepped through her office door and she’d leaped for him and kissed him.

“Yeah. But that doesn’t change anything. Lexi doesn’t need someone like me in her life. She’s rich and educated and…good.”

“What do you mean
someone like you
?” Evie sounded outraged. “You’re my brother. That makes you perfect. And good enough for anyone.”

That’s what families should be for. To give you unequivocal approval. Love without conditions. Could he do that? Maybe he’d mess up. Maybe they both would. But also maybe he deserved the chance to try.

Did Lexi really love him? Or was it her fantasy husband she loved?

“I’m pretty sure she loves you,” Evie said.

He smiled. “You only met her for a few minutes.”

“She told me you’d be the best brother ever.”

“She did?”

“She believes in you.”

Now, all he had to do was believe in himself—and somehow convince Lexi to give them both another chance.

…

Lexi had told them to meet her in the coffee bar at the Ritz. She’d thought a public place would be better. If her grandmother lost her cool, she’d be less likely to make a scene in front of strangers.

“No husband today, Alexia?” her grandmother said as she took a seat opposite Lexi. Daniel sat beside her, then Harry on one side of Lexi, Melissa on the other. She twitched with the need to escape.

“Josh couldn’t make it,” she said. “Family matters.” Gosh, she hoped he and Evie were getting on. Hoped he would find some sort of peace if his sister came back into his life. And maybe one day he’d come to believe in love. Too late for her, but she wanted him to be happy. He deserved happiness.

“What a surprise.” Her grandmother sniffed. “Lost interest already, perhaps? Or I think it’s more likely he was never interested in the first place.”

Lexi shrugged. “It doesn’t matter what you think.” That was one good thing about the whole Josh debacle—her grandmother’s cruel jibes had lost any power to hurt her.

“I believe you’re mistaken in that. All I want is my due. Your father was my son after all.”

“He left you plenty.”

“He left you more.”

“Maybe he knew you’d waste it.”

“Really, Alexia. What I do with my money is really no concern of yours.”

“How about what you do with
my
money?”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about. I believe you’re the one in the wrong here. How will it look when it gets out that you had to pay a man to marry you?”

Lexi felt the nausea churn in her stomach. Just once, she’d like her grandmother to surprise her and behave nicely.

“I always knew that a man like that would never be interested in you.”

It was official, her grandmother was a bitch. Lexi clutched the envelope in her hand and decided she was actually going to enjoy this.

“Actually,” Harry said. “That’s not exactly true. They can’t keep their hands off each other.”

She shot him a look of surprise. He was standing up for her?

He shrugged then patted her arm. “Hey, what are brothers for?”

She gave him a smile and turned her attention back to her grandmother.

“This is really none of your business, Harry.”

“Of course it is. I was sent to spy, after all. I’m just reporting back.”

Wow, Harry had grown a backbone after all these years.

They started bickering among themselves, and she let the conversation roll over her for a minute, until her ears started to hurt. Why couldn’t she have a nice family? But in a way she did. She had Jean and Tom and Sarah. And for a while she’d had Josh.

But that hurt too much.

Time to move this on and get out of here and back to…what? A house without Josh.

She cleared her throat. No response, so she banged a spoon on the table and finally everyone fell silent.

“Right,” she said, “the reason I asked you to meet me here today is—”

A commotion at the entrance made her turn her head. Josh stood in the doorway, and her heart melted. Had he come to help her face her grandmother before he walked out of her life forever? He was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday and looked a little the worse for wear…and totally gorgeous.

A waitress was talking to him, gesturing to something beside him, and she dragged her gaze from Josh. A big black dog stood at his side. Toby. With a red bow around his neck.

What was going on?

He spoke to the waitress and pointed toward their table. The girl’s eyes widened, then she gave a quick nod and a grin and let Josh and his companion past.

“Alexia?”

Her grandmother spoke from beside her, but Lexi waved a hand at her distractedly. “Shh.” She couldn’t take her eyes from Josh. He caught and held her gaze as he came toward them. Pushing back her chair, she got to her feet and took a step closer.

Josh came to a halt a foot away.

She licked her lips. “How did it go with Evie?”

He smiled, his eyes crinkling. “Wonderful.”

“I’m glad. She still loves you.”

“I know. I think maybe I might be lovable after all.”

“I think so.” She glanced down at the dog. “And Toby likes you.”

“Hmm. But Toby needs a permanent home,” he said. “And he reckons my loft apartment isn’t suitable.”

“He can come home with me.”

“I’m afraid me and Toby are a family now. Where he goes, I go.”

She sniffed. “Oh Josh. You’re always welcome in my home. For as long as you want.”