Her Fantasy Husband (Things to Do Before You Die) (10 page)

He stood and watched as a lady vet filed the overgrown teeth on a black and white rat, which then promptly vanished inside a man’s jacket pocket, just its twitching nose showing.

The vet glanced across. “Hi. You’re Lexi’s husband. I recognize you from the description.”

“The description?”

“Well, depending on whether it’s male or female, ‘scary badass,’ or ‘simply stunning.’”

His lips twitched. “I’m Josh.”

“Jasmine.”

He helped her for a while, then moved on. News travelled fast, and his fame was spreading before him. Everyone seemed to know him as Lexi’s husband, and most chatted to him briefly. He could tell from the way they spoke about her that they all liked Lexi, and felt protective of her. He was issued more than one warning that he’d better be good to her.

Yet one more reason this had to end after six months. She deserved someone good for her. Someone great. Someone offering strings. Someone other than him.

Night was falling, the place was almost empty, and the vets were all packing up when a man approached. Tall, skinny, pale face, and gray hair—he had a black dog on a leash, which pressed itself against the man’s leg.

He looked around, then his gaze fixed on Josh, and he came over. “You’re Lexi’s husband?”

Hell, he was famous. He nodded.

“Could you hold my dog for a second?” Without waiting for an answer, he shoved the lead into Josh’s hand and walked quickly away.

What the fuck?

The dog started after the man, whining softly, and Josh crouched down and rubbed his head. He glanced up, searching for the owner, but he’d disappeared. He found Lexi, though. She looked tired but happy as she crossed the grass to where he stood with the dog.

“You got a new friend?” Lexi asked.

“Some guy handed him to me and ran away.”

Lexi crouched down, examined the dog. “Oh no.”

“What is it?”

“It’s Toby. His owner has cancer. I’m guessing for him to leave Toby here, he must be bad.” She stroked the dog’s head, and then took the lead from Josh. “I’ll see if I can get him a place to stay.” The animal whimpered as she led him away, looking back over his shoulder and down the road toward where his owner had vanished.

Lexi came to a halt in front of a woman who was maybe in her fifties, with dark hair streaked with gray, a thin wiry body, and beautiful green eyes. “Can you take him, Martha? He’d better go into quarantine until we’ve checked him out.”

“Of course. Bobby’s new family picked him up today so there’s a kennel free.” She crouched down and petted the dog, who looked back at Josh with accusation in his eyes. What was he supposed to do?

As they left the park, they paused outside the gates. Josh didn’t want to go home yet. There were too many people at the house, all wanting her time. He liked having her to himself, and he didn’t want to think about that too closely. For many years, he hadn’t allowed himself to get close to anyone. He understood why. Despite his lack of education, he wasn’t stupid. He could sense himself drawn to Lexi, and part of him was scared. But still he couldn’t stay away.

He’d liked the way she looked at him back in the bedroom—like she was starving and he was something deliciously edible. His dick jerked in his pants. He shouldn’t have thought that. Now he couldn’t get rid of the image of Lexi on her knees in front of him. Had she ever given a blow job? Unlikely, if she’d been a virgin. He’d have to tell her what to do, how he liked it…if he could remember. Maybe they could learn together.

“Let’s go get a coffee,” he said.

“Okay. There’s a place just down the road.”

They settled into a booth by the window and both ordered coffee.

Watching her working with the animals had been a revelation. She was a goddamn millionaire, and she spent her evenings cleaning up dog puke. He’d seen the compassion she’d shown to all the animals and their owners. He didn’t want that for himself. He wasn’t an object of pity. What the hell would he need compassion for?

“You look a little…upset,” she said. “What’s the matter?”

He shook his head. “Nothing.”

She regarded him for what seemed like an age, head cocked to one side. “Will you tell me something?”

“I might.”
Here we go…

“Why did you marry me?”

The question took him by surprise, and he said the first thing he could come up with. “For the money.”

“To start your business?”

For a minute, he was tempted to agree, let her think that was the case. But something deep inside him wanted to share the truth with her. He’d never told anyone his plan, not even his commanding officer, who’d approached him with the offer to marry Lexi.

He added sugar and stirred his coffee. “No, not to start the business.”

“Hey, you don’t have to tell me, if it makes you feel bad. I just wanted to understand.”

She was giving him a way out, and maybe he should take it, but now he found he wanted to tell her. Wanted her to understand a little of who he was and why he would never be the man she thought he could be. He sat back and thought about where to start. “I had a sister. She was ten years younger than me. When I was seventeen, she was taken into care and eventually adopted, and I could do fuck all to stop it.”

She reached out and rested a hand on his. “I’m sorry, Josh. Were you close?”

“I brought her up from the moment she was born.” He could still remember the feel of her tiny body in his arms as his mum had shoved the baby at him when she got home from the hospital. “Just stop it crying,” she’d said. And somehow he had. From then on, he’d done everything for her. “My mum was a total screw up. Men, alcohol, drugs. Name a vice and she was into it. She wasn’t interested in a baby, so it sort of fell to me. But from the moment I saw her… Evie was the sweetest, and I didn’t mind.”

“Evie? That’s the tattoo you have on your arm. Your sister?”

“Who did you think it was—another woman? Evie saved me. At ten, I was doing a great job of following in my mum’s footsteps. I thought I was a total badass. I’d have probably been in juvie before I was eleven. Evie straightened me out, made me see there were things worth working for.”

“I bet you were a cute little boy.”

He snorted. “I was a monster. But I changed. She made me take responsibility. I thought she was someone I could love unconditionally.” And look how well that had fucking turned out.

“What happened?”

“My mum met this guy. Apparently, he didn’t like kids, so she got rid of the problem. Handed her over to social services. I begged her not to, told her I’d look after Evie. She wouldn’t even know she was there. She laughed at me. I can still remember Evie’s face when they took her away.”

“I hate your mother.” She sounded so passionate.

“I went to see social services. They told me it was impossible. I was a seventeen-year-old-kid, with no money, no job, no education—I’d missed a lot of school—and a police record for shoplifting. It was often the only way I could get the stuff Evie needed. Anyway, Mum had already signed the papers. Evie was put up for adoption, and that was that.”

He risked a glance at her face, not wanting to see her pity. She blinked away a tear. She was such a softie.

“And I joined the army. It seemed as good a place as any and my options were limited. But I liked it. Loved the order, knowing what I was supposed to do and when. I was good, and I made sergeant.”

“And you didn’t see Evie?”

“Social services thought it was best. Give her a clean start. Maybe they were right.” He shrugged. One minute she’d been his whole life, the next she was gone completely. “Anyway, I took a sniper bullet in Afghanistan. Just over my heart.” He rubbed at the spot where he could still feel the raised scar. “I was about to be discharged, and I had no ties—my girlfriend at the time had just dumped me.”

“Why?”

“She wanted more, and I wasn’t ready to give it. She said I was a commitment-phobe, and she was right. Families fuck you up.”

“Tell me about it,” she said morosely. “So what happened next? How did you end up marrying me?”

“Jamie Frobisher was my commanding officer. He knew I was at a loose end. He approached me when I came out of the hospital. Said he had a friend who needed help, and that I could give it. He named a pretty impressive sum of money. And I had this idea. At seventeen, I’d had nothing. I couldn’t fight the system. But with that much money, I could get a private investigator to find Evie, and I could hire a lawyer and try to get custody or at least visiting rights.”

“Did he find her?”

“Yeah.”

“But you didn’t get custody. Oh Josh, I’m sorry.”

He swallowed, the regret still an ache in his chest. “I didn’t try. I saw her and she was so goddamned beautiful—blond-haired and blue-eyed like me.” And like his mum. “She must have been thirteen then. I went to the house—it was a great fucking mansion out in Surrey—and watched from a distance. She had a pony and a real family and she was so fucking happy. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t spoil that. I had nothing to offer her.”

He’d stood in the shadow of some trees and watched her for what seemed an age. It was a good thing no one had noticed him, but he hadn’t been able to drag himself away. Part of him had been happy for her, but it had been a bittersweet feeling, all mingled with loss and resentment that these people were everything he was not. It meant finally acknowledging the dream was really over, and feeling the emotions draining from him as he’d accepted that she was better off without him. She was so obviously happy, and no way could he jeopardize that. The truth was he’d needed her far more than she needed him, and he’d be selfish to impose himself on her now. He’d been so goddamned hopeful. That had been a mistake, and it had nearly broken him.

Never again.

“So I walked away—used the money to start the business, and forgot her.”

“Of course you didn’t forget her. She’s still there in your heart.” She thought for a moment. “That was five years ago. She must be nearly eighteen now.”

“Next week.”

“Well, there you go. At eighteen, adopted children have the right to know the details of their birth families. You can contact her. Tell her you’d like to see her.”

“There’s no point.”

“Of course—”

“Change the subject, Lexi.” He’d said good-bye that day. He wasn’t laying himself open to that again. What could they possibly have in common after all these years? It was better left alone. “Tell me something about you.”

She clamped her lips closed. He could almost see the mental turmoil; she didn’t want to let it go. Then she sighed. “Okay—something about me. I’ve spent the last five years fantasizing about you.”

Chapter Ten

Shock punched him in the gut. “What?”

“Don’t panic.” Lexi shrugged. “I had to fantasize about someone. And you were my husband, after all. And Josh, you’re pretty hot. You were perfect fantasy material.” She grinned and drained the last of her coffee. “Of course, that was before I got to know you better.” She pushed her empty cup away. “Now, maybe we’d better head home.”

She thought he was hot?

He glanced out the window. The streetlights had come on, edging out the darkness. But he didn’t want to go home. He wanted to hear more about her fantasies. He was pretty sure she’d only said that to take his mind off Evie. And it had worked. What sort of things did she fantasize about?

He sat back, stretching his arms along the back of the bench seat, studying her. Her hair was trying to escape from the messy ponytail; her face was totally free of makeup, her lips pink and full. What were the chances she had ever fantasized about blow jobs? “Tell me one of your fantasies first.”

Her eyes widened, a flush staining her cheeks. “No way.”

“Come on, Lexi, I’ve opened up my heart to you. The least you can do is give me a hint of what we’ve been up to together all these years.”

She opened her mouth, closed it again, sat for a moment. “Honestly, I can’t.”

“Let me help.” He thought how to ease her into this, because he needed to know. “Have we done it in your four-poster bed?”

She gave a quick nod.

“Did I tie you up?”

Her eyes widened. “Of course not.”

“No ‘of course’ about it. That’s what four-posters are for.”

“Anyway. Why should I be the one tied up? Maybe I should tie you instead.”

His head filled with an image of him spread-eagle on the bed, wrists and ankles tied while Lexi had her evil way with him. She’d be torturing him, tormenting, teasing with her hands and her mouth. His cock jerked. He swallowed, cleared his throat. “I can work with that. Where else?”

She colored a little more. “On the beach and in the sea.”

“Sand gets everywhere. Or so I’ve heard.”

“Don’t spoil my fantasies.”

He took a deep breath. They needed to get out of there. He didn’t know where they needed to be, but not here. Desire had been simmering under the surface since he’d first touched her on the stairs earlier. He might tell himself it had been merely for show. But he’d always believed in facing up to the truth.

He was hot and hard for his own wife.

And really, there was nothing to stop them. It wasn’t as though they hadn’t done it before. The annulment was never going to happen. They could have sex and still get a divorce when the six months were over, and by then they’d have this inconvenient attraction behind them.

Over the last two days, he’d started looking at other women, trying to imagine them in sexual situations and totally failing. Sally, his secretary, had asked him what the hell he was staring at, just that afternoon.

He’d been attempting to imagine her on her knees in front of him, and it had done absolutely nothing for his traitorous libido. Maybe too close to home? So he’d taken himself for a walk, picked random females on the street, and tried to imagine going up to them, asking them out for a drink.

And he couldn’t do it. Didn’t
want
to do it.

Then he’d seen Lexi waiting for him outside her gate, licking her lips and shuffling in those four-inch heels she usually wore. And he’d gone instantly hard. If she’d kept the fantasy thing to herself, he might have managed to ignore it, but she hadn’t. This was down to her. Plus she’d been ogling him when he came out of the shower. She wanted him, maybe almost as much as he wanted her.

So it looked like if he was going to get laid any time soon, it would be with his wife. His dick jerked again, clearly hot to the idea. But maybe they should set some ground rules.

“I think we should do it,” he said.

“Do what?”

“Have sex. Fulfill a few of your fantasies.”

…

Lexi knew she was staring, but she couldn’t seem to stop. Her brain had ceased to function. She cleared her throat. “I thought you only wanted no-strings sex?”

“No reason why there should be strings involved.”

“It would be married sex.” Why wasn’t she leaping on him? Why did she have to analyze everything?
Take what you’re offered, goddammit.
“You don’t want married sex. Remember?”

“Maybe I want married sex with you.”

That made her feel special, all warm and fuzzy. It was becoming a habit. More likely it was merely that he wanted to get laid again, and she was his only option right now.

“Why not?” he asked. “We’ve already done it once.”

“Because I’m messy and my life is chaotic and you don’t like mess.”

“Look, I’m not suggesting we make this real or anything. But I want you, and I think you want me. It’d be a simple exchange between consenting adults who happen to be married.”

She nibbled on her lip. “You want me? Really?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

No. Nothing was obvious. She was still reeling from his sad story about his sister. She’d wanted to comfort him, but she didn’t think, from the way he had changed the subject, that he would appreciate it. So she’d told him the fantasy thing, thinking it would make him laugh, take away the sadness. He hadn’t laughed.

When she didn’t answer, he took her hand and pulled it under the table, rested it on the bulge in his jeans.

Oh my God. It’s huge
.

As her fingers tightened automatically around him, his lashes fluttered closed and he groaned. When his eyes opened, they were filled with need.

She squeezed again, and a look almost of pain crossed his face. Was she being too rough?

“All for you, baby. If you want it. We’re together for the next six months. Why not enjoy the time?”

She needed to be out of here. Before he went all sensible on her and changed his mind. “Let’s go.”

She jumped to her feet. Where was the nearest place she could get him alone and cement the deal? She grabbed his hand as they left the shop. He probably wasn’t into hand-holding except for show, but he didn’t tug free, and she dragged him purposefully along. This was her neighborhood; they were heading back past the park, and if she wasn’t mistaken there was a very suitable alley only a minute away.

She slowed and glanced around. The street was empty, and she tugged him into the alley right-angled to the road. Then she pushed him up against the wall, stood up on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him down to her, and kissed him.

Because she really could not wait a moment longer.

He went still against her. Had she shocked him? Been too forward? Maybe he liked to make the moves. He hadn’t in her fantasies; he’d been quite willing to let her take the lead. Perhaps she should keep reminding herself that they were fantasies, with no basis in reality.

She tried to pull back, but his arms went around her, and at last he returned the kiss. His mouth opened, his tongue thrusting inside, sliding along hers, filling her with the hot, spicy taste of him. The kiss deepened, taking on an edge of desperation as his thigh slid between hers, pushing up against her core, and her sex flooded with heat.

One hand palmed her breast and the nipple hardened and it felt so damn good.

She needed some sort of release, so she rubbed her hips against the hardness of his erection. He reached behind her, cupped her ass and lifted her, pressing her back against the wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist so his cock pressed against her sex.

His fingers tightened on her ass, and he moved her against him, rotating her against his hardness so everything tingled, coalescing in her belly, the pleasure swelling, growing, overwhelming her until it burst in a shower of lights against her closed lids, spreading out through her body. Her head went back, and he swallowed her scream with his lips, his tongue pushing inside.

A shout and laughter from behind them brought the kiss to an abrupt halt. He released her lips, but stood, forehead pressed against hers, his breathing loud in her ears.

“Let’s go home,” she said.

“Good idea.”

It was after midnight when they got back to the house. Josh made a quick detour to his car and grabbed the box of condoms from the glove compartment. As they walked through the gates, she hesitated. A light still shone from the kitchen window. Were they waiting up for her, to check if she got home safely?

Christ, what were they, teenagers?

But at that moment, the light went out. “Hallelujah,” she muttered and almost high-fived. She didn’t want to see anyone right now. She had an idea she looked like she’d just had an orgasm while shoved up against a wall in an alley. That might help their story if they encountered Harry, but she found she didn’t want to act right now.

This thing with Josh was only temporary. And that was good. Because what did they have in common? Nothing. They’d drive each other crazy in no time. All the same, she didn’t want it rammed down her throat. Tonight had been magical, and no way was anyone spoiling it for her.

It occurred to her she was living in fantasyland. Again. But surely she was allowed a little time there.

“Shh,” she whispered as she slid her key into the front door and pushed it open. The house was in darkness. She headed to the kitchen first, Josh close behind her. She didn’t bother turning on the light; she knew where everything was, where everyone slept.

Unfortunately, Josh didn’t. He swore as he tripped over the sleeping form of Jace, her three-legged terrier. The dog yipped and scurried under the table, and Lexi reached across and switched on the light. She went to the refrigerator and got a couple of plastic bottles of water. This was going to be thirsty work. As she was closing the door, Josh’s arms went around her, pulling her back against him. His palms slid up her waist to cup her breasts, and one of the bottles slid from her hand, crashing to the floor.

She ignored it because Josh’s fingers had found her nipples through the thin material of her T-shirt, and he was rubbing them, tugging them, rolling them between his finger and thumb, and it felt so good. One hand pushed beneath her shirt, splayed across her belly then hooked around her waist to turn her in his arms. In one really impressive move—especially considering he’d had no practice over the last five years—he lifted her up and placed her on the big wooden table.

The second bottle of water dropped from her hand and bounced on the floor as he moved between the V of her thighs. One hand curled around her neck as he lowered his head and kissed her. She lost herself in the feel and taste of him, moaning low in her throat.

“Really? On the table, Lexi? And in front of Prudence.”

She went still as she heard Jean’s voice from the doorway. Josh withdrew his tongue, raised his head, and stared down at her. “Ever fancied loft living? I have this lovely, empty loft. Nobody. No dogs. No chickens…”

She gave him a rueful smile. “Doesn’t sound like my sort of place.”

He sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair, but stepped back. “No, it doesn’t. Our room. Will we get a bit of privacy there?”

She liked the way he said
our
room. “Of course.”

She jumped off the table and picked up the bottles of water from the floor. Prudence eyed her disapprovingly from her basket. Lexi ignored the chicken, but gave Jean a narrow-eyed glare as she slipped past her.

Jean grinned. “You forgot your condoms. You might need them. Well, maybe not
all
of them.”

“Shut up,” Lexi growled, heat washing over her as Josh grabbed the box from the table.

They made it up to the second floor and were pausing for a kiss on the landing when a door opposite opened. Tom stood there, an expression of distinct disapproval on his face. He slammed the door.

“Christ,” Josh muttered. He took her hand and hustled her up the final flight of stairs and into her bedroom. He closed the door behind them, then studied it with a frown on his face. “No lock?”

She shook her head.

He looked around, crossed the room and dragged a chair back to the door, then pushed it under the door handle. “It won’t take a full frontal attack, but it might keep us safe for a while.” He tossed the box of condoms on the bed and then looked at her. “Now strip. Who knows how long we’ve got.”

He was already pulling his T-shirt over his head, and she stood taking in the beauty of his naked chest. He tossed the shirt on the floor, noticed she hadn’t moved, and raised an eyebrow. “Well?”

She kicked off her sneakers, pulled off her T-shirt, unzipped her jeans and dragged them down over her legs, kicked them off as well, and was in her underwear within thirty seconds. She didn’t quite have the nerve to go any further. She’d never been naked in front of a man. Actually, not in front of anyone. At least, not since communal showers at boarding school.

She glanced up, suddenly shy. He’d stopped moving and was staring at her, his eyes dark.

“You’re beautiful.” His voice was low, husky.

She opened her mouth to say, “No, I’m not,” but the words stuck in her throat. Maybe she was. Right now, he made her feel beautiful. Anyway, his hand was moving to his waist and rational thoughts abandoned her. He flicked open the button on his jeans, and her mouth went dry. He lowered the zipper, and her breath caught in her throat.

She had the distinct impression that he was doing a striptease for her and was entirely aware of the effect he was having. He hooked his fingers in the top of his pants and dragged them down over his hips, kicking off his boots as he went.

His shaft sprang free, and it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Her dry mouth flooded with saliva, and she swallowed. She stepped forward without thinking, her hand reaching out, and she trailed a fingertip down from the middle of his broad chest, over the satin skin, following the trail of silky hair from his navel until she finally reached her destination and wrapped her fist around his cock.

A low groan escaped him, and she squeezed.

He placed his hand on top of hers. “Later,” he said. “Later you can play as much as you want. Right now, I need to get inside you, fast.”