Her Baby Secret (Friends & Lovers Book 1) (7 page)

“When I was giving him my all, he slipped through my fingers anyway.” Robyn felt her eyes fill with the dreadful tears again and she squeezed her fists tightly, until her nails bit into her palms. She blinked back the tears, seeing her sister's concern. “I'm not going to fight for a relationship like that. For someone who just threw me away as if I meant nothing.”

“But you were in here with him...” Peyton's voice trailed off and she waved at the bed, making Robyn's cheeks flush.

“That was a moment of weakness,” Robyn said, swallowing several times. “And it won't happen again.”

“If you say so,” Peyton said doubtfully.

“I do.” Robyn's voice was firm. She knew what had driven her to kiss Devin. She loved him and she missed him with every ounce of her being. She didn't know what had driven him. But whatever it was, whatever had motivated him to kiss her, didn't matter. She would not make the mistake again.

“Peyton, please don't tell anyone about...this... Any of this,” Robyn added quickly.

“I won't.” Her sister said, nodding seriously.

“Not even Keith.” She loved her brother-in-law but she hadn't wanted anyone to know about her and Devin. Now Javier and Peyton both knew. It had to stop somewhere.

“Okay.” Peyton stood up. “Well, I'm going to go to bed. I've had enough excitement for one night.”

“You're not the only one,” Robyn said, already pulling back the covers. She turned off the TV and got into the bed.

“I'll see you in the morning.” Peyton rubbed a hand over the top of Robyn's head, a sad smile on her face.

“Goodnight, sis,” Robyn murmured, turning off the bedside lamp. After the door clicked shut, she closed her eyes, listening to the wind and swirling snow hit the house as she quickly fell asleep.

Devin quietly stalked the hallway, waiting for Peyton to leave Robyn's room. When the door to Robyn's room finally opened, he ducked into one of the bathrooms and waited for the hallway to get quiet again. He waited a minute or two to be sure the coast was clear before going to Robyn's room and knocking softly on the door. No answer.

He tried the knob, finding it unlocked, and crept into the dark room. He closed the door behind him, taking a moment to let his eyes adjust from the brightness of the hallway to the darkness of the bedroom. With all the snow that fell outside, it actually caused a brightness to shine through the windows and he could see Robyn's illuminated form under the soft blankets on the bed.

Her face looked so peaceful when she slept and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into the bed with her and pull her into his arms. Damn, he'd missed her more than he'd ever thought possible.

He'd come to the Phillips home with the intention of getting his friendship with Robyn back. But after the way she'd come to life in his arms earlier, his heart and his body screamed out that they couldn't go back to being friends. He had to have her as his girlfriend again. He had to win her back somehow.

When he thought about their relationship, he wasn't exactly sure what had gone wrong. Maybe he'd been too quick to give up on her. He wished like hell that he'd taken the time to have a serious conversation with her the night they broke up. His pride and ego had felt battered and bruised, thinking that she no longer wanted him and that she'd probably been about to break up with him. So he'd gotten the breakup over with for both their sakes.

But maybe something else had been going on with her. He hadn't even given her a chance to explain. He'd only been thinking of his own feelings, of how rejected he'd felt. As long as they'd been friends, she had never willingly hurt someone, even when it was someone she didn't know very well. Why had he thought she'd do that in their relationship? He'd let his insecurities make him stupid and get the best of him. Well, it had taken him some time to realize he'd been an idiot. It had been stupid to just hurriedly end it all. But he was coming to his senses; better late than never. After what he'd done, he'd still dreamed of being with Robyn but knew he'd have to find a way to settle for friendship.

Until tonight. His heart soared, remembering how her body trembled against his, remembering her hot wet tongue curled around his. Robyn had never taken sex lightly and her reaction had to mean something. She still had feelings for him. That was the only answer he could come up with and the only answer he wanted to see.

Devin promised himself that from that moment on, he was going to do his damnedest to get Robyn back. As soon as they had some time alone, they could finally talk everything out once and for all.

Now, how to be alone with her in a house where thirteen other people were snowed in with them – on Christmas? That was his first challenge. A small smile came to his lips as a plan began to take shape in his mind.

He leaned down and lightly kissed Robyn's warm cheek. She didn't move and he knew she had to be exhausted. He gave into the temptation and kissed her cheek again before walking towards the door. By the time he reached the door and opened it, he had a huge grin on his face.

Chapter Six

Shaking like a leaf, Robyn opened her bedroom door the following morning, seeing Peyton, Keith and Whitney walking down the hall towards the staircase. She needed to get to a bathroom as soon as possible. She was going to be very sick. She closed her door, counted slowly to ten, and opened the door again.

Jared and Angelica's bedroom door opened. Robyn slammed her door. If worse came to worse, she supposed she could puke out of the window. Then again, the whole window was blocked by a sheet of snow.

Feeling the bile began to rise up in her throat, Robyn opened her door and sprang towards the nearest bathroom, hoping that it wouldn't be occupied. She barely had time to snap the door shut before she began retching into the toilet. Tears burned her eyes and her throat stung but it seemed to go on and on. She wondered how she could be so sick when she could barely eat. She did her best to nibble throughout the day. She couldn't tolerate big meals. She couldn't tolerate much of anything.

“Robyn?”

Robyn jumped at the sink, where she was rinsing her mouth. Ines stood just inside the bathroom, leaning into the partially opened doorway.

“Are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” Robyn rushed to say, but her voice sounded weak to her own ears. She wished she'd locked the door. But there just hadn't been time. She wondered how much Ines had seen. Robyn tried to meet the other woman's eyes but she felt unnerved.

Ines came into the bathroom and closed the door before turning the lock. Robyn shook her head and tried to think of some excuse. She couldn't say it was a stomach bug because she'd been fine the day before. She couldn't say food poisoning because no one else was sick. Maybe she should just play the quiet game and see if Ines would think nothing serious was going on.

“I heard you throwing up,” Ines said in a hushed tone, her hazel eyes worried and serious. “I didn't want to intrude on your privacy but you sounded really bad.”

Ines, just a year old than Devin, had always been like a big sister to Robyn. She'd leaned on the other woman in the past, more times than she could count. That's how the Jamisons and Phillips families were. But now, at this very moment, Robyn would give anything to be alone, to be in her apartment where she didn't have to worry about hiding huge secrets from anyone.

“I'm fine now,” Robyn said, reaching under the sink for a spare toothbrush. She held the toothbrush between shaky fingers and put some toothpaste on it then proceeded to brush her teeth.

She hoped that Ines would leave but Ines went to the toilet, put the toilet cover down, and sat down on it while she watched Robyn.

Robyn's already rapidly beating heart seemed to speed up more and more as each second went by. She saw a flash of panic in her eyes when she looked at her reflection in the mirror. What was Ines waiting for? What would Robyn tell her?

When she could brush no more, Robyn rinsed the toothpaste from her mouth and rinsed her toothbrush. She took as much time as she could putting the toothbrush away and returning the toothpaste to the little shelf below the mirror.

“Are you going down to open presents?” Robyn tried to inflect a casual tone but she was well aware that her tone was far from it.

Ines stood up and walked over, taking both of Robyn's hands in her own. Robyn stared into kind hazel eyes the exact color of Devin's and was filled with regret to be in this situation, lying by omission to him and to both their families.

“Ines?” She asked, unwilling to give anything away. “Let's go downstairs and-”

“You're pregnant, aren't you?” Ines asked softly.

Robyn closed her eyes, her heart galloping. She could hear her shaky breathing and feel her bones all but rattle under her skin.

“It's okay, Robyn,” Ines said, putting her arm around her. “I'm not going to tell anyone. I swear. But are you okay?”

The other woman's gentle tone was Robyn's undoing and she burst into tears, clinging to Ines the way she'd been wanting to cling to everyone since she'd arrived the day before.

“I'm sorry,” Robyn stuttered through tears, trying to get a hold of herself. She'd cried more in the past few months than she'd cried in her entire life. She'd cried over losing Devin and now her raging hormones had her crying for everything else. She took several deep breaths in order to try to get some control over herself.

When she stepped away from Ines, she saw that she'd left tear stains all over Ines' pretty pink robe. Ines looked very concerned and Robyn felt bad for having her worry.

“I'm sorry,” Robyn repeated, gesturing to the robe. “I'll wash it for you later.”

“It's just a few teardrops,” Ines said, smiling a little. “It's no big deal.”

Robyn nodded slowly.

“Now answer me. Are you okay?”

“Yes, I'm fine,” Robyn replied, lowering her voice to a near whisper. “It's...this morning sickness... It's been kind of tough.”

“I've heard that some women get it really bad.” Ines rubbed Robyn's arm. “Can I get you anything? Would you like some toast or crackers?”

“I have some crackers in my room, thanks.” Robyn stared down at the floor, her knees and legs feeling rubbery. The feeling of nausea hadn't completely gone and she wondered if she'd vomit again.

“Why don't you go have some and lay down for awhile?”

“Everyone's going to wonder why I haven't come downstairs.” Robyn looked Ines in the eyes again. “I'm not ready to tell anyone... I don't know when I'll be ready... But I just can't do this right now.”

“It's up to you when you want to tell them,” Ines playfully tugged Robyn's ear. “I never would have thought you'd get yourself knocked up, at least not for another ten years.”

“Neither did I,” Robyn said, smiling herself. “Now I have to find a way to tell everyone... But not now. I'm not going to ruin everyone's Christmas.”

“It's going to be just fine,” Ines said, frowning. “This baby is a blessing and everyone will rejoice once they learn that we're going to have another member of the family.”

Robyn would like to believe that but she was too afraid to hope. Her parents had been very clear in their expectations of her and her sister. Peyton had lived up to the dream.

“Now go lay down,” Ines said, taking Robyn's hand in hers. “They'll just think you're sleeping in. Come down stairs in twenty minutes or so and it won't be a big deal. And that will give those splotchy spots on your face a chance to clear up.”

Robyn took Ines' advice and hurried back to her bedroom. She quickly ate a couple of crackers and got under the blankets, sighing heavily. It was a relief that someone knew about the baby at last and hadn't been angry with her. But how would Ines feel when she learned that her younger brother was the father of that baby?

She must have dozed off because the ringing of her cell phone made her jump up in the bed. It was Emerald, calling to wish her a Merry Christmas. They talked for a few minutes and Robyn was tempted to tell her friend about everything that had happened but she knew she had to hurry and get downstairs.

After getting off the phone, she went back to the bathroom to gargle with mouthwash. She'd probably only been asleep for about ten minutes but she didn't care. When she came out of the bathroom, Grace stood there waiting for her.

“Merry Christmas!” Grace said, cheerfully.

“Merry Christmas!” Robyn said, trying to force some cheer into her tone.

“I just woke up and I went downstairs. Ma said you still hadn't come down so I came to get you. I saw you when you went into the bathroom and I prayed you weren't doing a number two.” Grace laughed.

Robyn rolled her eyes. “Grace, don't be gross.”

“I thought I would be the only one sleeping in,” Grace said with a smirk, “But I
think
I know why you're so exhausted.”

“What?” Robyn asked, her tone stilted. Damn, was she that easy to read?

“We have to talk later,” Grace said as they descended the stairs. “We just
have
to talk!”

How could both of Devin's sisters have guessed her secret within a half hour of each other? What the hell would she tell Grace, who she was much closer to than Ines? She feared that she'd have to confess about Devin. Anything other than the full truth might be unforgivable when it came to Grace.

Everyone called Merry Christmas as she followed Grace into the living room. She felt Devin's eyes on her but she resisted looking directly at him, choosing instead to focus on the holiday scene in front of her. Wrapping paper covered the carpeted floor and the Christmas tree lights twinkled. She and Grace were the only two who still had gifts to open and they tore into them.

Marjorie and Quintin excused themselves to go make breakfast and Robyn opened yet another gift, listening to her family and friends thank her for the gifts she'd gotten them. After she'd opened her gifts, Whitney began to show her everything that Santa had brought her. She and Grace began playing with Whitney with her new toys and Robyn had a few moments of feeling calm and happy.

Her cell phone, which she'd left in her pocket, vibrated quickly with a message and she took it out to read it.

We need to talk. Come with me to the basement after breakfast.

He was crazy if he thought she was ever going to be alone with him again. When they first got together and he realized just how much of an affect he had on her, he'd taken great pleasure in having his way with her. Who was she kidding; she'd taken even greater pleasure in all of it. But after last night, she knew that being alone with Devin was dangerous.

She wrote back a simple
No
.

Robyn felt like she was being stared at and noticed both Javier, his wife Elizabeth and Ines all trying to discreetly watch her. She refused to look at Devin. If he was watching her, he'd give away the secret they'd both agreed to keep. Since their families were so close, they'd thought it best not to tell anyone they were dating. They didn't want the attention. And she'd known that should the relationship fail, she hadn't wanted anyone to know and treat her or Devin any differently. Of course, it had all been going so great that she hadn't thought it would fail...and she'd been enjoying herself so much that she wanted to keep everything the way it was for the immediate future. After the breakup, she was greatly relieved that no one had known. But as she felt his gaze bore into her, she knew that would change quickly if he didn't get his act together.

The phone vibrated again. Another message from him.

There's so much I need to say. Please.

There's nothing left to say.

After last night, we both know that's not true.

Last night was a mistake.
After writing that last reply, she turned her phone off and sat next to her sister on the couch, pretending to watch the movie that played on TV. He was going to get it through his head somehow that she would not give him another chance to break her heart.

The scent of frying eggs wafted into the living room and Robyn knew that her dad was making his favored omelets. He threw everything into them, a bunch of spices and ham and cheese. She usually enjoyed them but now a sickening knot was forming in her stomach. She stood up and made a quick escape, grateful that it was so chaotic that she wouldn't be missed.

Devin saw Robyn rush out of the living room and saw his chance to get her alone. They'd miss the start of breakfast but he was past caring. This was his chance to straighten everything out with her and he was desperate. He didn't care that it would very suspicious if he and Robyn were both gone at the same time for a long period of time. Hell, it was past time that everyone knew about them anyway. Any man would be proud to have Robyn and here he'd been, keeping her a secret.

He made it to the foyer and felt a hand touch his shoulder. He turned around and found his brother staring at him, a closed expression on his face.

“Can we talk for a minute?” Javy asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Nah, bro, now's not a good time.”

“Robyn's not going anywhere,” Javy said, surprising Devin. “She'll be right in her room. I just need to talk to you for a minute.”

Devin wanted to ask his brother what he knew about Robyn. Or what he thought he knew. But instead, he quietly followed him to Quintin's office and closed the door.

“What's up?” Devin asked. “Is everything okay?”

“I wanted to make sure you're okay,” Javy said, “After all, you are dealing with your first broken heart.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Devin tried to laugh but it sounded stale to his own ears.

“I knew you and Robyn were messing around,” His brother confessed. “But you wouldn't say anything about it. And since nobody else in the family knew, I knew it was supposed to be some secret. Then you guys broke it off and you looked all fucked up... Why didn't you talk to me? Do you know how many times I tried to call you?”

Since there was no point in denying any of it, Devin decided to come clean to his older brother. He began pacing as he explained briefly the relationship that he and Robyn had had and how he was trying to get her back.

“I thought you looked like shit the last time I saw you but then I started to doubt myself about the whole situation,” Javy said with a sigh. “But when she got here yesterday and I got a good look at her, that's when I knew for sure. She's suffering too.”